Amber's Diary
by Ravendarc
Summary: Forced to grow up too fast, a girl keeps a diary of life for two families on the run from the machines.
1. Chapter 1

Amber's Diary

by Michael

October 2, 2137

What a load this is. All I did was throw a rock at Thomas and now I'm stuck in this corner with this empty book. What is Mom thinking? Like I'm going to write about what I did wrong. Please. If he wouldn't stick his tongue out at me all of the time I wouldn't have to shut him up with a pebble special. I know he's always talking crap just to make me mad because he knows I'll get in trouble. He never gets into any trouble. How wrong is that? And he's always wearing that armor piece from one of the bots on his arm. It looks stupid. What's wrong with him? Moron..

Thomas and his brother always get to go to the watchtower with their father as he watches out for the machines. Dad always tells us that we have to stay close by and never lets me go. It's not fair. I think Dad just wants me to watch Sarah and Alan for them while he screws around with that microcomp. What are they doing with it anyway? It doesn't help us run away any faster when the machines come close again. It's just another thing slowing us down. At least Grizzle Bear doesn't slow me down any. He's always there for me and can run really fast. As fast as me anyway.

I think Daddy can run really, really fast, but he never seems to run any faster than the rest of us. I know he could, he just stays with us in case we fall down I guess. Mom says that he used to work with computers when he was a soldier. You would think he would be tired of messing with those by now. It didn't stop him from learning how to run fast though. Dad is really strong.

I am too, but nobody believes me. Grizzle Bear does, but nobody else. Thomas is strong too I guess, but who cares? He should get smarter like his brother Tad is and quit being such a jerk. Tad is only six years old and he still acts smarter than Thomas. Maybe because he doesn't talk much. Maybe he misses his mom. I try to get him to talk to me but Thomas always starts bugging me each time I try. He acts like I shouldn't talk or play with anybody else.

And there he goes again. Off to the watchtower. While I'm stuck here because of him. How long am I going to have to stay here anyway? I'm hungry.

Thanksgiving Day, 2137

Ok, so Mom says I should call this my diary. She says a diary is something that you can write in each day or whenever you feel like writing, and that you can write about anything you want to. Your secrets, your life, anything. Grizzle Bear wanted to write some too, but I told him it was my turn. He's jealous.

Let's see. What am I thankful for today? I'm thankful that I didn't have to wipe off Alan's drool covered chin again. He's so cute, but he's always such a mess. I love him though. I'm glad that we found him. Yes, he slows us down a little. But we couldn't just leave him.

I'm also thankful when Mom brushes my hair. She brushes my hair and Sarah's every night before bed. I get a lot of snags sometimes, but Sarah's hair is straighter than mine and it brushes easier. Lucky her.

The thing I'm thankful for the most is that we haven't had to leave here for a long time now. It's nice to not have to run away again for a while. Oh yeah, I'm very thankful that Dad took a break from the microcomp today and spent time with me at the watchtower. I can't believe he finally took me with him. And all was clear.

December 19, 2137

It's cold today. We stayed inside most of the day and Thomas' father went to the watchtower. His name is Karl. He must be really cold up there. I offered him an extra shirt to wear but he just giggled at me, said thanks anyway, and left without it. He came back a few minutes ago, but he's being really serious with Mom and Dad. He saw a ship flying around out in the distance, but couldn't tell what type. He's a med tech, not a pilot or anything. Dad thinks we must be near an airport. Whether we are or not, it probably won't matter. I guess we'll have to leave here soon. I better pack up. Just in case Mom needs me to look after Sarah and Alan while they deal with the weapons and other things. Time to get to work. More time to write later.

December 24, 2137

Dad started taking over the shifts at the tower and kept seeing more ships. He's decided that we need to leave here before any bots find us. Christmas on the run. Wow.

We stopped for the night in some woods. I'm glad because this stuff is so heavy to carry. I guess that's why we run early. We can't afford to lose some of these things. Especially the weapons and food. And Grizzle Bear. He's in a bag too. Guarding stuff.

Thomas is carrying Grandpa's old shotgun. Dad and Karl want him to keep a weapon close by in case he needs it. It's such an old gun. I wonder if they shouldn't give him one of the lasers. He seems so serious when he's carrying it. He looks so grown up. Like the weight of the world is on his shoulders. The weight of that old relic is anyway. It's too heavy for me. I snuck and tried to pick it up, but it weighs a lot. Anyway, I just want him to be safe. I want all of us to be safe.

Grandpa didn't stay safe. I wish he were still here. He seemed so wise. He always called me his little angel, and talked about country folks. "Country folks can survive anything" he would say. I wonder if he got that from a song, or if he was just trying to make us all feel better. Then came the machines. At least you fought, Grandpa. I miss you.

I have to go. We have to get started early. I wonder where we're going.

January 5, 2138

This is the first time that I've gotten to write again since last year. We've been moving every day for almost two weeks. Mom looks so tired and Sarah hurt her ankle as she was walking. She's trying to hurry, but she has to be carried sometimes. She never cries about it though. It looks swollen, and it has to hurt a lot. But she never cries. Karl keeps trying to treat it, but there's not much that he can do. She'll be all right. It'll just take some time. I hope we have it.

Mom gave me something for Christmas. She called it a coin and said that it was really old. It has things printed on it. It says, "In God We Trust". She says that I should always trust in God's plans for us all. For his plans for me, and everyone else. I just don't understand what his plans are now.

Mom teaches us about God, and many other things when we stop for a while. She calls it school time. I wonder how she got so smart. Maybe it was part of God's plan for her. If it was, it went well.

Karl says that there's a bridge a few miles away from here. If we can cross it tonight or tomorrow night, we should come to an area where he says an old park reserve was at before the war. He says it might be a place where we can stay for a while. There's some kind of a concrete tower there called the Carillon. We can use it as our high point to watch for the biodreads. He says it has a giant bell inside of it also. We could be safe there and have an alarm to ring if anything goes wrong too. There might be tunnels underneath for us to hide in. If they haven't collapsed from the war. We just have to make it there. We have to.

January 6, 2138

We're packed up again and ready for tonight. Dad wants to cross the bridge tonight because it's out in the open and it's too easy for us to be spotted if we try to cross it in the daylight. It's going to be hard to see. It's kind of scary, but I know we can do it. Like Mom always says. In God we trust.

I'll write again after we get across and stop again.

Day unknown, 2138

God, my stomach hurts. It's dark and cold here. Hard to write. The book keeps moving away from me and something is holding my arm in place. I can't reach out to hold my diary still with my left hand. I can't remember everything that happened. It hurts to breathe.

Sarah's here? Why is her hair all wet? She's holding my arm in place. She's got blood on her hands and she's crying? Is she ok?

And I can see Thomas. He's looking down on me. His hair is dripping on me. His face and hair are wet too. Why?

Where are we?

Oh my God. The bridge. They attacked. Sarah fell.

Day unknown, 2138

It's daytime. There's light shining through the window. Shining past Thomas as he stands in front of it, watching outside. I can hear him messing with the shotgun.

Sarah woke me up. I could hear her calling my name. Asking me to wake up. Her eyes are all glassy, like she wants to cry. She keeps trying to feed me something. I don't want it. I feel sick.

The bridge. Mom was yelling Sarah's name. And then my name from up above. Screaming to me. Karl was holding her back from the edge. Dad was shooting a laser across the bridge. I can't remember how I got to the bank, but I remember Sarah laying there. She wasn't breathing and I can remember trying to get her to again. She just laid there as I did what Karl taught me to do. I tilted her head back and started pressing on her. I heard noises behind me. The shooting and the voices, but all I could think of was making Sarah breathe again. I kept yelling, "come on Sarah...breathe". She wouldn't, and I turned to the bridge. Maybe Karl could help me. Then I felt something hit me, and heard Mom screaming. It felt like someone kicked me in the stomach, but nobody was there. I kept looking up, but I started seeing this gray color hazing everything in front of me. And now I'm here.

Where is this place? What's wrong with me?

There's a cross on the wall. Thomas is saying something to me. I can't hear him. He looks scared. I can feel his hand pushing back my hair. I just want to sleep.

Day unknown, 2138

It looks like it's daytime still. The light is still here.

I had a weird dream. There was a tornado chasing me and Tom, and we hid in a tunnel to get away from it. The wind started picking up, and Tommie was being pulled back away from me. I tried to hold on to him, but he kept slipping away. I reached out to grab him with my left hand too, but it was wet with blood.

I grabbed his hand anyway, but he slipped more. Suddenly I felt like I was falling backwards, and I could see him flying away. Now I'm back in the room with the cross again.

I didn't see them before, but there are words carved into the wall above the cross. It says, "Raise thee up". This is a church. God's house. That's what Mom calls it. It's beautiful. There's a statue of an angel on a table across the room. She kind of looks like Mom. Long hair and a thin face. Petite.

Where's Mom and Dad? I've only seen Sarah and Tommy. I asked Sarah and she just keeps saying that they're coming and that they're on their way here. Then she tells me not to worry. Funny, she looks like the worried one.

I can see Tommy working on something as he keeps glancing out the window, but I can't tell what it is. It sounds like metal. He just looked at me. And smiled and stuck his tongue out at me. Jerk. I'll get him for that one too someday. Now he's calling to Sarah. Asking her to watch out the window for a minute. I think he wants to talk to me. I'll have to write again after.

He didn't want me to talk and just made me listen to him. He told me that I went after Sarah when she fell into the water, and he went after me. He said that Sarah washed up on the bank and I got to her and pulled her out. He said the water was in his eyes, but he thought I was trying to clear her of the water so she could breathe when the dreads started firing down on us from the far side of the bridge. I could see him struggling to come up with words and I wanted to ask him why I can't move. He said that they hit me. He says that it's not bad and that everything's going to be fine, but I can tell that he's not telling me something. I told him so, but he just kept looking at me. I kept asking him and he finally said, "Amber...I love you". Then he looked away from me. I could see his chin quivering.

I tried not to cry, but I could feel the first tear running down my face. It's funny, how that first one seems to make you cry even more. I tried to reach out to him but my arm felt heavy and I couldn't make my hand stop shaking. I tried to say it back but Sarah interrupted me. She said that we couldn't stay in the church. If the dreads found the building and figured it was a place of religion they would destroy it while we were inside. Then they started arguing.

Tommy said that they couldn't move me. Then Sarah said that we can't stay where we are. Tommy would say that he wanted Sarah to run away to the East if something happened and he told her to run. Then she would tell him that she wasn't leaving me. Then he would say that he wasn't leaving me either, and it would all start over again. Tommy was frustrated and went back to the window where the gun was again, and kept arguing with Sarah.

All the while I was trying to interrupt them and get them to hear me, but they kept arguing. I tried to yell at them to stop, and suddenly it was quiet. They were both looking at me again, and Sarah moved closer to me. They were both trying to protect me, but I couldn't let them stay with me. I told Tommy to take Sarah and leave, but he kept saying that he wasn't leaving me. Then she would say the same. I had to find a way to make them feel wrong about staying. They couldn't die there with me.

"Please don't let me have to lay here and watch you both die. Please don't let that be the last thing I get to see. I love you. Both. If you were both me, right now, wouldn't you want the same for me? Please go," I said to them. All this did was cause them to cry and gave both of them more resolve to stay, not leave. Both of them started saying that neither of them were leaving. They would both stay and fight off anything coming close to the church. How could I make them leave?

Suddenly Tommy shushed at us and aimed the gun out the window. Sarah moved up behind him. I told them to run again, but they stayed at the window. Sarah said something that I couldn't make out. Then she said it again louder, her voice cracking as she yelled it out. "Daddy".


	2. Chapter 2

January 10, 2138

It's been four days now since the bridge. Things seem clearer now. How much of that time did I sleep through? It seems like everything was happening just an hour or two ago. I guess time flies when you're having fun.

I think we're at an old zoo now. I can remember some of the things I could see as Dad carried me here. A lot of bare trees and bushes. Some of the trees had apples in them. I could hear the sticks cracking and the leaves shuffling under everyone's footsteps. After a while the cracking noises stopped, even though the crunching of leaves kept going. After a bit of this I could see rusty fencing and an empty cage or two as he carried me by. They looked like they were meant for monkeys or climbing animals of some kind, but the trees were growing through the tops of the cages. I could see part of the lake we had tried to cross out in the distance. It seems so far away now. I wonder what side of the lake we're on.

When we arrived at an opening I could see Tad and Karl running to us. Karl took me from Dad and carried me down some stairs, and into this round room. Then he went into a smaller room to the rear of the one we were in, and put me down on a bed. This must have been where they took care of the sick animals. Animals. I wonder where my bear is.

Karl keeps coming into the room and checking on me. He keeps saying that I'm going to be fine. There's this absent look in his face when he talks to me, though. He's never lied to me before. Is he trying to now? He gave me some pain medication earlier and it doesn't hurt so bad anymore. It makes me sleepy sometimes, but I can't sleep right now. I haven't seen Mom yet. I can't go to sleep until I see everyone. I want to make sure I'm not dreaming things again. Like in the church. Karl keeps telling me that everyone is ok, but I just need to see them all. Besides him I've only seen Tad. I woke up and he was just standing there, about six feet from the bed staring at me. With this blank look in his face. I reached my hand out to him to show him that I was ok. He touched it and ran away suddenly. I didn't hear anyone calling to him. He could have stayed.

Sleepy. More later.

January 11, 2138

Another nightmare last night. It woke me up, but Mom was there in the room with me. She told me, "go back to sleep baby, it's ok". She started running her hand through my hair and I must have fallen asleep again. I think it's morning now. Mom is asleep in the chair next to the bed. She looks so peaceful. Not like in my dream. All that I could see was fire burning through a fenced in place, and I couldn't find her or Dad. I kept looking through the fence for them. Trying to see through the flames, but they were gone. Then I woke up.

Mom's waking up now.

January 11, 2138 (afternoon)

God, is everyone lying to me? Everyone keeps saying that I'm ok, but I know there's something more to it. They won't tell me anything more and they keep changing the subject. I played along with Mom and let her get away with it, but I know. I can feel it. She went on talking about her psychic powers and that they were telling her that I would be fine.

Before the war she says that people believed that she had premonitions that came true. She says that even the military wanted to test her, but I don't think they ever did. Then the war broke out and here we are, living like animals trapped in a zoo.

She asked me about the church. She says that Sarah and Tommy aren't acting like themselves because they're worried about me. I'm scared to tell her everything. Sometimes I wonder if she doesn't already know. Did Sarah tell her? She says that Sarah keeps asking about me, and Karl can't get Tommy to stop working with things. I guess he's trying to make a fortress out of the outdoors or something. Tommy. I need to talk to him. I can't ask Mom to get him. I don't want her to see through me. I can't help but think she already is.

January 12, 2138

Dad came in to see me for a few minutes this morning. Laser rifle in hand. Unshaven. Yep, that's Dad. Never stops being the guardian of us all. He keeps reassuring me that everything is fine and so am I. "We're all together sweetheart, and you're healing fine," he says to me. "The bridge is done, the church is done, and everyone is fine," he went on. Hearing him talk brought me back to the church. Trying to get Sarah and Tommy to leave. What if they find us here. I'll slow everyone down.

I told Dad that he had to leave me here if they find us, but he didn't hesitate to say "no". I'm never going to convince him to take the family and run. I know that, but I feel like I have to try. He says that we're hidden well. I'd like to see for myself, but I can't see outside. I asked Dad if he could get Tommy for me. He asked me jokingly, "you're not going to argue again, are you?" It made me laugh as I said "no, I just want to talk."

Then he sat there for a moment looking at me until I said, "what, Dad?" He started speaking again and said, "Amber, Tommy would have died there at that church for you and your sister. I can't come close to telling you how he looked at me with that gun pointed at me, eyes open wide as day and gritting his teeth like nothing would get past him. Like he wouldn't lose another loved one." I tried to interrupt him at that point, but he went on saying, "baby, I'm not stupid. I can see the look in his face. He's been out there working non-stop for days, avoiding coming in here like all of the truths of the world would come poring out if he did. Your mom sees it too. She watched him yesterday and tried to ask him if he was ok. He told her that there was a lot of work to do and acted like sweat was running down the side of his face. Sweat? It was twenty degrees outside. Look. I just want you to know that it's all right. It's all right to feel things. If we didn't have love, what would we be? Wouldn't we just be machines?"

I couldn't think of what to say to him as he turned away and said, "I'll go get him…if I can get him to slow down for a minute. I love you."

January 12, 2138 (continued)

Tommy came to my room. He just stood there in the door, looking at me. I looked at him and couldn't hold in a laugh as a tear started beading up in my eye. I tried to hold it in by closing my eyes, but it didn't work. It just pushed it down my face. God, I must look like hell. He walked up to me and held my hand. Looking down on me, and eeking out a grin. I tried to reach up to hug him and he lowered himself to me so I wouldn't have to pull myself up out of the bed. After having Dad go out and get him to come in here, I couldn't find any words to say to him now. He was here holding me, and I could hold him. That was enough. I guess that's what I wanted all along. He kissed my forehead and he managed to lay down along side of me. He stayed with me and kept holding me until we both fell asleep.

January 13, 2138

It's morning again. Tommy must have woke up and went outside. I could hear voices in my sleep, but they were real and coming from the other room. It was Mom, Dad, and Karl talking in the larger, round room. I couldn't make out what they were saying at first. Until I turned my other ear off of the pillow. They were talking about me. I could hear them.

Dad: "Karl, what is it. What do you think is wrong with her?"

Karl: "Look, Dave. I'm a technician. I'm not a doctor. I don't know everything that I need to."

Dad: "You're what we have. I trust you. I believe in you. All of us do. That's all that counts to us. Now, what is it?"

Mom: "Karl? What's wrong? She's all right, isn't she?"

Karl: "She's not dying that I can tell…."

Dad: "Then what's wrong?"

Karl: "I don't know if she's healing inside right. I can't treat her the right way in this damn zoo. This place is for treating animals, not people."

Mom: "Inside?"

Dad: "What does that mean?"

Karl: "The bag and the contents inside that she was carrying blocked part of the energy from the weapon, but she keeps needing more pain medication and she should be needing a little less by now. I can only guess that something's wrong that I can't see."

Dad: "Wrong how?"

Karl: "I don't want to have her go through life…."

Mom: "Karl?"

Karl: "I'm talking about conception, Karen. She was hit in the abdomen here. It could have damaged her more than I know. If that's the problem I don't know if I can fix it. And if it doesn't fix itself, she might not be able to conceive."

Mom: "No. It can't be. She's fine. She's just in pain. It took us too long to get to her and she lost a lot of blood. (Crying) She's just hurting….hurting…..

I could hear Tommy enter through the door and they stopped talking. He asked them what was wrong, but they're blowing it off. Just emotion catching up with Mom, they're saying. I guess we're all keeping secrets now. Why would I want to bring a baby into this world?


	3. Chapter 3

January 13, 2138 (Early evening)

It's been quiet since this morning. Except for Karl bringing me something to eat and Tommy coming in, I haven't seen much of anyone today. Which is good I suppose. I don't really want to talk. But I'm sick of being in this room too. I hope I can go outside pretty soon. Sitting here with nothing but time to keep thinking about things that you don't want to be thinking about is driving me crazy. I wonder if they're still talking about me.

Tommy's visit was nice, but weird. I finally figured out what he's been working on all of this time. He's been dismantling biomechs and saving their armor. Then he's been altering the pieces of armor so that we can wear them as protection. When he came into my room earlier he brought this large cloth bag in with him. I could hear the metal pieces clanking around against each other in the bag and he dumped it onto the chair next to the bed. He says, "Here you go, this is for you." I was like, "What?" And he just turns towards the door and says, "Don't be swimming in it. It's a bit heavy and will drag you under." Then he hurried off again. I'm not sure how well he thinks these will protect us because they don't stop lasers very well. Obviously, or we wouldn't have them right now. Maybe he thinks that they're better than having nothing at all. It better fit or I don't see the point in them.

I wanted to ask him if Sarah was around, but he wandered off too fast for me to ask. I haven't seen her and I wanted to make sure she's ok, but she doesn't come in here. I'll have to ask Karl or one of the others the next time they come in.

Tommy. I don't know what to do with him. The talking that I overheard this morning keeps making me think about the future. I don't even know what our future is. For all that I know we might not have one. The more I think of what the future might be the more I think about Tommy. What are we going to do? Grow older and get married? Why would he want to be with me? If he knew everything. Maybe I shouldn't keep this going. Someday it might not be fair to him. God, I don't know what to do.

January 13, 2138 (Late evening)

Karl brought me supper and started checking my vitals again. I couldn't think of what to say to him while he was trying to talk to me. All that I could think about was what he told Mom and Dad this morning, when he suddenly started asking me if I was ok. I told him that I was fine and he went on saying that I was being really quiet. Which spurred on a conversation that I thought might come from Mom or Dad. Not him.

Karl: "Are you hurting worse today?"

I said, "No, I'm fine." Then he looks at me and speaks again.

Karl: "Yeah……..You know, don't you?"

I couldn't really answer at first. It was like the words were stuck in my mouth and I couldn't speak. Then he spoke up again as if to try to help me say it.

Karl: "You heard me talking to your Mom and Dad this morning?"

I said, "Yes." I couldn't think of anything else to say and was too busy fighting back a tear to speak again. Then Karl started talking again. He seemed more serious than he was before because he would typically be joking or doing the plain faced bedside manner thing.

Karl: "Amber, can we talk? Just between you and me?"

I said, "Yes."

Karl: "We've always shot straight with each other, and I'll never shoot any other way with you. Ok?

I nodded in agreement as he went on.

Karl: "I won't lie to you about anything. Including what might or might not be wrong. I promise. But I won't lie to you about my abilities either. They only reach so far because I'm not a doctor. I wish that I was, but I'm not. I can only guess at a lot of things when it comes to injuries like yours. The outside, the trauma, I can handle. But I'm not fit, nor are we equipped to be doing any kind of an operation or scan revealing what might be happening with you inside. Scanning would tell us a lot, but even if we found out that anything is wrong we can't go operating on you without a way to move you quickly. And operations don't always fix everything anyway. Sometimes there's nothing that anyone can do but let things play out and see what happens."

I asked him what was making him worry. What was it that he was seeing that he was worried about.

Karl: "You still seem to be in more pain. Not all of it, but some of it should be subsiding by now unless I'm wrong. Which I might be. You dove off of a bridge when you went after your sister. Is your back hurting?"

"Not really," I said back to him.

Karl: "Amber, you're like a daughter to me. You know I would never want you to be hurt in any way. If there was anything wrong with any of you kids I would do anything to fix it for you. I wouldn't let myself know of it and do nothing if it were within my power to help you. And I don't know for sure if there's anything more that's wrong with you to be worried about. But there are risks with what you've been through. There are linings inside of you that are important if…"

"If I want to have kids?," I said.

Karl: "Yeah. Some things aren't like your appendix. You need them. Even if it's later on, when you're older. You're so young, Amber. This isn't something that either of us should be having to worry about right now. Especially you. And even if you knew, right now, what you wanted out of your life years on down the road I don't know if I can affect it for you. I don't know if I need to. And I don't know if it's too late to. Without equipment I don't know enough, and I'm not sure how we could ever get equipment to look inside of you in time. There's also a possibility that there isn't anything that needs to be done. That you could heal fine."

I asked him if I could die.

Karl: "No, I don't think so. I think that you're healing fine from what I can see. It's what I can't see that's the issue for me. Sometimes in life we have to make decisions today about things that will affect us tomorrow. Or later. Do you understand?"

"Yeah," I said back to Karl. "I've been trying that all day." He wiped the tears off of my face with his hand.

Karl: "It's hard, isn't it? It's not fair to you. I wish I could make it fair for you, but I don't think that I can. But regardless of all of it, I'll be there for you. I'll be with you. I'll do everything in my power for you. But I need you to talk to me, straight up. No hiding things. No lies. Just the truth. Nothing but the truth from me and nothing but the same from you. Ok?"

I nodded. I couldn't really say anything as he went on.

Karl: "If it hurts, I want to know. I want to know where and when it happens. Not hours or days later. I want to know every time too. I also need a few other things from you."

"What?," I asked.

Karl: "I know that I'm ranting a lot, but I need you to understand what I'm saying to you. I know that you're hurting and you're confused. I know that you don't know what you're supposed to do. But we'll all help you if you let us. Amber's important and special. Just as she is. And she has beauty, youth, and other qualities that some other people don't have the luxury of having. Even in this messed up world that we try to go on living in."

"What do you mean, Karl?," I asked him.

Karl: "Your life, Amber. You have your life. Ahead of you. To live. To be happy again. Or sad once in a while. To see your Mom and Dad again. To watch your sister grow up like you, and become as beautiful as you are. To have a chance to have children. At least you have some chance. There are others that don't have any chance of anything any longer. Others that will never feel the sun shine on them again. That can never feel happiness again. That can never have a daughter that will grow up to be as beautiful of a person as you. Are you hearing me? Do you understand? How important that is?"

Gina. Tommy and Tad's mother. I understand.

"Karl, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean…"

Karl: "You have nothing to be sorry about. But Sarah thinks that she does. She thinks that what happened on the bridge is her fault. That she caused you to be hurt like you are. She's not eating anything, and she's filled with guilt and worry about you. She really needs to hear from her sister that it wasn't her fault. She's not acting like herself and we need her to pull it together."

"She didn't hurt me," I said.

Karl: "But she feels like she has. It would be better for her to understand that she isn't to blame for what happened. Before she finds out anything else about you. We don't know enough to tell if anything worse is wrong or not. So why allow it to get any worse for her?"

"If you get her to come in here I'll talk to her," I said.

Karl: "It's hard, isn't it? Giving more and more of yourself to everyone else while you're the one that needs the most?"

"You would know that better than any of us, Karl. Thank you. And Karl? I'm sorry about Gina. I'm really sorry. You can talk to me too if…"

Karl: "You have enough to worry about. I'll get Sarah in here tomorrow. Get some sleep and I'll talk to you again in the morning."

"Karl?"

Karl: "Good night."


	4. Chapter 4

January 14, 2138

Well, Karl did as he said that he would do. He managed to get Sarah into my room. She looked like she was losing her best friend when she came in and I felt bad for her. She didn't do anything wrong to deserve to feel the way that she obviously was. She walked in carrying another cloth bag and I thought it might be some armor that Tommy had made for her out of the biodread troopers, but it didn't make any sound as she walked up to me. I had to get a little stern with her to get her to understand that she didn't hurt me. The machines had. And I finally looked her in the eyes and said, "If I had fallen off of that bridge and into the water, you would have went after me too, wouldn't you?" She said, "Yes." And I went on saying, "And you would be laying here too, just like me and would be wanting me to not feel wrong about what happened because I didn't cause it. Right?" After that an "I love you" and a hug and it was pretty much over.

At this point I asked her what was in the bag (still assuming that Tommy had gifted her with a metal suit like he did me), but she hesitated to tell me. She acted as though she really didn't want to hand it to me and I asked her what was wrong. She looked away for a second and I said, "Sarah, just tell me. It's all right." Still hesitating to hand me the bag she says, "It's your bear. I'm sorry, Amber. I can't fix it. I tried to, but I can't." Then she sat it next to me and held my hand. I acted like it was no big deal without ever looking in the bag. I didn't want to lose the progress we had already made and upset her again. I could tell that she was expecting me to cry or something as she kept looking at me. She told me that someday she would get me another one even as I was telling her that it was all right. I told her that I was feeling too old to keep Grizzle Bear anyway and was thinking about seeing if she wanted to adopt him from me. Then I went about changing the subject and got her talking about the guys.

Sarah tells me that Tommy has made armor suits out of the dread armor for five of us already, but that Sarah's armor and mine were a bit harder for him because he wanted to make them fit us. So he had to make some adjustments. So far he has one for me, Sarah, Tad, Tommy, and Dad. I wondered if dad would be willing to wear it, but Sarah says that he thinks it's brilliant thinking on Tommy's part. And apparently Dad is teaching Tommy and Tad some combat training. Sarah says that he wanted her to be involved too, but she's been in her funk lately and hasn't been able to concentrate well. She seems to think that Mom is bothered by Dad training the boys to fight like he is, but she doesn't know for sure why. Maybe it's because of all that they've been through. I wish we didn't have to fight too, but we can't just roll over and die. We can protect ourselves better if we have some skills at fighting rather than just running.

I asked her where the boys are. She says they're patrolling the perimeter of the zoo along the fencing together. Dad has armed both of the boys with laser rifles, and Sarah too. She says he wants all of us to have a weapon. At that point she handed me a laser pistol she had hidden behind her all of this time. She tells me that I have orders from Dad to kill anything that walks through the door of my room that doesn't breathe air. Then she said that she had to go out and check on things, and left me on my own again. She looked back at me as she was leaving.

I watched as she cleared the door, and I stared at the empty space for a minute. Then I took the bag with my bear in it and reached inside. His head was whole, but all of the rest of him was burned and destroyed. They had shot me through the bag I was carrying and hit it too. It hit me like a tree falling on me and I couldn't stop crying for a couple of minutes. But after a minute or two I was so mad that I could hardly stay in the bed. I hate them.

January 15, 2138

Mom came in to see me this morning. It feels different around her. When I look at her it's like there's a part of her that wants to cry, but it feels easier to talk to her now that she knows that I'm aware of everything. Besides her constantly reassuring me that Karl will take care of me and telling me that she wants me to do everything that he says, everything's easier to talk about with her. She's my Mom and I don't understand why it can be so hard to talk to her ever, but it is sometimes. It's not her, it's just that I don't know how she will feel about what I might be thinking or feeling at any given time. I want both Mom and Dad to be proud of me and to approve of what I might have going on. Maybe I'm just embarrassed. Or afraid that she will tell me what she wants me to think and won't be completely honest with me. I want to talk to her about Tommy, but I don't know how. So we talked about how I was feeling and about her and her magnificent powers instead.

Mom says that she doesn't know if they're even powers of any kind, and if they are they might just be some gift that God gave her. A way for him to talk to her. She says that she doesn't always understand what her premonitions mean. I asked her when they happen. Did she just get this feeling or start seeing things and know that she's having one. She tells me that they mainly seem to be intense dreams. Dreams of things that either sometimes seem vague and don't make a lot of sense, or sometimes dreams of events that end up taking place after she has them. She told me that she dismissed them at first because she thought they were just foolish dreams that she was having in her sleep as she worried about this or that. Then she had a strange dream about a kid taking a gun to a school and shooting a teacher and felt that she recognized where it was happening in her dream. She told the administration of the school and they felt that her story was hard to believe, but they tightened their security anyway. A week later they found a hand laser hidden in a locker and she became their heroine. Then there were many other incidents and it became public knowledge that she might not be the fluke that some people thought of her as. Then there was Grandpa and Gina. Gina was my Mom's best friend. They would go out clubbing together years ago. Knew everything about each other. She told me that she did everything she could think of to change what happened to Gina, but she couldn't get her to stop and listen to her that final day. Gina was afraid that Tad was in trouble as the dreads invaded our town, and went after him at the school. Mom tried to make her stay while she went to get Tad but she wouldn't do it. Gina believed in Mom's abilities, but I don't think she wanted to let Mom risk her life to get Tad instead of her. Poor Tad. What he must have seen back then. His Dad doesn't seem to be able to get through to him. He's so emotionless that it's hard to tell what he's feeling or thinking.

Mom says that she's regretted not finding a way to stop Gina ever since, even though she might have died going after Tad instead. She says that she could see what was going to happen beforehand when she had dreamed of Gina running from a building with Tad. She said that Gina kept running and looking back behind her in her dream. Then a gray figure appeared at the door they had run from and started shooting at them until Gina lost her grip on Tad's hand as she fell in the grass. Listening to Mom talk as if she was seeing it all over again made me want to ask her about my own dreams. I hadn't said anything before because there wasn't a chance to before. They seemed so unreal that I didn't think about it either. Until now.

I started trying to figure out how to say it to her when I could hear this thumping noise and the ground shook a little, and Karl came running in. He asked if we had heard the noise and Mom told him that we felt it through the floor. Then he said that it sounded like an explosion to the South of us. In the direction of the church that I'd been in before. Karl ran back out to the door and I heard him yelling to Sarah and Tad to come here. A few seconds later he told them to stay here in the room with me, and he and Mom ran outside. Sarah moved over to me at the side of the bed and Tad stood in the other room at the far door, looking outside. Both of them were wearing Tommy's makeshift armor and had their laser rifles. I couldn't help but see how worried they were, and how grown up they looked holding the rifles and wearing Tommy's armored suits. Sarah looking worried and yet standing before me like nothing would get her to move, and Tad standing in the far door looking so serious. As though he had been ready for some kind of a battle or war all of his life. Like he wasn't running from anything ever again.

At that moment I reached out to Sarah as she was staring out of the room at Tad. I wanted to try to get her to take Tad and run if they had to, but she grabbed the laser pistol that she had brought to me yesterday and shoved it into my hand saying, "Shut up and be ready" before I could ever say anything to her. Knowing that she wasn't going to hear anything that I would say, all that I could think of to do was to pray, like Mom had taught us to.

It felt like I was helpless and useless for several long minutes, until Mom returned to the room. She said that she needed Tad and Sarah outside, and then came into my room. She said that Dad thinks that they're looking for us because of the missing squad from the bridge. She went on saying that he was going to take Tommy and see if they could get close enough to find out more. Just hearing her made my heart jump into my throat.

God, please let them come back.


	5. Chapter 5

January 15, 2138 (Early evening)

Dad and Tommy were gone for a couple of hours. They just returned about 20 minutes ago. It's been like the longest two hours of my life. After the first thumping noise we heard a couple more, but then didn't hear much from then on. I wanted to get up and go after them so bad that I could hardly stay here. Staying here while they go off, going through God knows what with nobody there for them. I keep telling myself that they know what they're doing, but it scares the hell out of me.

I could tell that Sarah was being affected by the seemingly endless amount of waiting as she began to pace around the room, wanting to go to Dad and Tommy. To help them or be there in some way. Tad finally looked back as she paced and stepped away from the door long enough to come to her. He reached out to her, giving her arm a reassuring squeeze and he stood there looking at her for a moment. She reached to his hand and held it for a second and looked into his eyes, without speaking. Then he seemed to fade back into his emotionless gaze, let her arm go and walked back out of my room and returned to the door again. It almost took me out of the reality of what Tommy and Dad could be going through right then and brought me into thinking about what I had just seen.

I don't understand what's going on with Tad. It's like you know that something's wrong but you have no idea what it is so that you could help in some way. When he's around Sarah it's as though he can feel again. That the Tad all of us have known all of these years is right there. Then, out of nowhere, it's like he loses himself somehow. Like his soul removes itself from him, leaving him behind like some discarded shell. Sometimes it's as though he's a totally different person. Everyone wants so badly to help him, but none of us can tell how to. He only seems to react to Sarah, and it scares me sometimes. He seems happy when they are together and it's at that point that I feel like he would reach up into the sky and pull the moon down for her if he could. But when he seems to lose himself I'm not sure what's taking his place. Maybe it's just me because Sarah never acts worried about anything when he's around. She doesn't act any differently towards him, but does she see this emptiness that takes him over at times? Maybe if I could get him to talk more to me, or someone else it would help. I can't worry much about that right now though.

Tommy seemed to be copying the look Dad had when they returned. He says that a large unit of dread troopers with a dread youth were near the church. Or what they left of it. Dad thinks that they're looking for us, or looking for the squad that attacked us on the bridge. But he seems confused about why it took so long for them to begin searching for the group that Dad, Karl, and Tad were able to defeat on the bridge after Sarah, Tommy and I went off of it. Did they not miss the squad, or could it be something else? According to Dad they should have been after us within a day. If not sooner. That makes sense because it isn't like they don't have transportation available to them. It really doesn't make sense that they haven't looked sooner. I'm not complaining. We've needed time to stay stationary, but there's something more to this than what we know.

Dad also seems concerned about something else. I think they found evidence of us being in the church. Tommy says that the youth with the squad seemed to be testing something. He couldn't see it directly but he thinks they found traces of my blood inside, before they destroyed the church. He says that he wanted to try to take the group out, but there were too many of them. Dad counted eight machines accompanying the youth.

Then dad mentioned seeing the name Vargus on the uniform of the youth. At that point Tad looked at Dad and said, "What?" Rarely ever speaking to anyone except for Sarah any longer, you could have dropped a pin at that point and everyone would have heard it hit the floor. Everyone was shocked to hear Tad speak out in front of most of us, and so loudly and abrupt. Dad repeated the name and asked Tad why he was asking. Then Tad looked down. His emotionless gaze back again. Dad looked at him as if to say, "what is it?" Tad went on looking away as though he hadn't asked anything. So I spoke up and said, "Tad, does it mean anything to you?" But he replied, "No," and walked outside. Sarah seemed to pick up on the oddness of his actions and went after him. I could hear her calling his name outside, but it faded as though they were getting farther away than what any of us could hear. The whole incident was as if Tad had committed himself to wanting to talk, and then trapping himself into explaining off why he had reverted into his quiet self again. And he left as though he had nothing more to say. It left everyone feeling as though the interruption was unwarranted and bizarre. Even Tommy seemed thrown off by his brother's actions and he looked towards the door with a half confused and half annoyed look on his face.

Dad went on saying that he wasn't sure what we should do next. He and Tommy were successful at spying on them and were not discovered. And so the machines also hadn't gone on searching any longer. However, they could return or end up finding this place too if they continued. And what would they do if they found any trace of my blood in the church? Where could we go if they found us here or if we had to leave? Karl knew more about the area we were in because he lived here at one time. That was before the war though. He doesn't know what is still intact and still remains, or what has been changed or destroyed. Except for the presence of the machines, he only has his memory of how it was before to go by and anywhere that he thinks up could be infested with the dreads.

Dad indicated that he and Karl needed to go over some things and left the room. Tommy stayed behind with me. Still looking fairly serious about the whole conversation, he came over to me and sat on the bed next to me. He reached out and held my hand. I told him that his hand was cold as I grinned at him, but didn't let it go. He gave me a funny look and a half grin back. Then he said that he was just making sure that I didn't have a rock in my own hand. I couldn't hold in a laugh and said, "Yeah, you need one sometimes." His grin faded a little, but didn't go away completely. Then he looked at me and told me that he was glad that I was ok. He seemed to be looking for more words to say when I told him that he wouldn't be the next time I found a rock. "We'll see," he said back to me, grinning again like before. Then he said that it was getting kind of late, and I asked him if he wanted to stay with me for a while. He replied, "Yes, but I'm not sure where Tad and Sarah are and I think our parents have some talking that they need to do. Someone needs to be watching things. You know?"

He pushed my hair back and touched my face, and got up and started towards the door. I felt like he was going off to board a ship and that I would never see him again. I had to stop him for a second, and I said, "Tommy?"

He stopped in the door and turned to me, saying, "Yeah?"

"I love you." I couldn't stop myself from saying it to him any longer.

He stood in the door for another couple of seconds, looking at me and said, "I love you, too." He hesitated a second longer, and then went on out the door. The whole world seemed like it was set right as soon as he said that back to me. As though I hadn't dreamed it up in the church in my delirium. It feels so right to me. Every time I look at him I want to tell him how I feel about him. I wonder if he does too.

January 16, 2138

It's morning again. I slept well last night. I feel pretty good for once. I haven't taken any pain meds yet, but I'm not hurting like before. Well, I wasn't until I moved a little. I didn't have much time to think on that though. Sarah came to see me and she brought someone with her. Little Alan. He's walking with her help and he reached his little arm out towards me as they got closer to my bed. Sarah said that he wanted to see me, but he couldn't really tell her that. He hadn't started talking yet. He looked a little bit bigger than I remembered seeing him last time. He was all cleaned up as though someone had given him the work over before coming here.

Sarah carefully sat him next to me so that he wouldn't kick me by accident or hurt me in some way. He was so cute sitting there. He had some little brown hairs growing in and looked like my little man. I hadn't seen him since the bridge and wondered about him, although Karl had mentioned that he was fine. I'm sure they were just trying to keep him from hurting me and keeping him away until I could handle him better. I missed him a lot. At first he seemed like such a burden for us all. Now I feel kind of empty without him around. He sat still for the most part while I talked to Sarah.

I asked her what was up with Tad, but she said that she didn't really know. Apparently he blew the whole thing off after they left my room last night and didn't really tell her anything. He claimed that the name sounded familiar to him, but he didn't really hear Dad right. Then he tried to leave it at that. Sarah says that she asked him if he was sure and if anything weren't really wrong. She says that he told her that nothing was wrong and just to forget about the whole thing. She says that she told him, "Ok," but wasn't convinced by his words.

At that point my concern over Tad was back again. At the same time I was a little leery of talking about his odd behavior to Sarah. There's something between the two of them and I can see that Sarah really cares about him. I don't want to hurt her by bringing up how odd he is at times, but something is going on with him. I can tell and I can't imagine everyone else not seeing it too. As I was pondering this thought Sarah told me that she went to Karl when he was alone and asked him if the name meant anything to him at all. He didn't recognize it. I don't know. Maybe what he's saying is true. Sarah has never acted as though she felt like Tad has ever lied to her about anything before. Not beyond the random, surprise birthday party. I just wish he would talk to me. I feel bad about not really getting him, and for not trusting in what he says being the whole truth. Rather than go on with it I just replied, "Whatever," and left it alone.

Sarah looked like she was growing up so fast and was so mature, walking with Alan and all. I'm a little jealous. I probably could look better right now. Yet her straight auburn hair is so long and she looks so pretty. What happened to her? It seemed like yesterday that I was pushing her on a swing out in the back yard. She's so beautiful now. Is that why Tad favors her over talking to the rest of us? Does he…like her? Does she like him?

I got myself stuck in thought about the two of them when little Alan started squirming a bit. He kept looking up at me from my side, and then away again to what he was playing with when he suddenly looked at me and said, "Mama." He kept looking at me as Sarah said, "What did he say?" I couldn't speak as I kept looking at him staring at me, and Sarah looked at him and said to Alan, "What, Alan?" He glanced back at her for a second, and then pointed back at me and said "Mama" again. Sarah reacted to this by saying that he thought I was Mom and laughing about it all. But I still couldn't speak and started falling apart in front of her. She stopped laughing and asked me what was wrong, but I couldn't stop myself from crying any longer. She kept asking me what was wrong and I couldn't stop. After asking more times and seeing me not respond, she took Alan into her arms and ran out of the room. I could hear her calling to Karl and telling him that something was wrong with me. She must have thought that I was having a relapse or something, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. Why did he have to call me that?


	6. Chapter 6

January 16, 2138 (Early evening)

Karl came in and talked to me again earlier. I shouldn't have allowed myself to lose it like I did. Sarah will wonder what was wrong and now Karl will have to either tell her or lie to her. Either one isn't something that I'm ready for right now. After taking Alan outside there must have been a little accident. Apparently he was playing around the fence and cut his hand somehow. Now I feel even worse for how I acted.

Dad is still trying to figure out our next move. The church wasn't all that far away from here and they could find us if they look close enough. Karl says that both the church and the zoo are rather isolated. I don't think that really matters much since they found the church anyway. It kind of dawned on me that having a zoo here and a church too, we must be somewhere near a town. According to Karl there used to be an old state capitol near where we are. Last he knew there were about a couple hundred-thousand people living there. Dad assumes that a city of this size would have been a focus of the dreads. Karl has made a fairly detailed map of what the city used to be like, but it's just from what he knew of the past. It might not be accurate any longer.

According to his map we're Southeast of the city, on the other side of the lake. The bridge we tried to cross is directly East of the city. There is another bridge leading in to the city from the South that crosses over the lake also. The other directions leading in or out of the city are without bodies of water to cross. So there aren't any bridges anywhere else around it. Karl says that the outer areas of the city were business areas of all sorts, except for the area to the South and the North. The South had a college, the lake, the zoo we're in now, a small park, and a small hospital closer to the outskirts of the city. The West has many businesses and the park with the Carillon tower. The East had more businesses and the bridge we failed to cross, but not much else. The North has another airport a mile or two out from the city, and what used to be a military base within the North side of the city. Still on the North side but closer to the center were two large hospitals. Both hospitals had landing zones for ships. In the center was the capitol building along with several others of different types.

While looking at the map Dad is assuming that, if the buildings remain as Karl knew them, the capitol building, military base and airport will probably be occupied. The capitol building has several tunnels that run underneath that he doesn't know what to think about, but he thinks it's safe to assume that they will be occupied as well. He feels that the hospitals within the city will either be occupied also or they will be under surveillance. He's not sure about the different business districts, the other bridge, the hospital that's closer to us, or the park with the Carillon tower. All of this is assuming that any of it remains. The whole map could be nothing like it really might be by now.

January 16, 2138 (Late evening)

It's very dark outside tonight. Tommy and Sarah came in and helped me walk outside for a little bit. It feels good to be outside of that room. Even if it is cold out there and it hurts to walk right now. Dad was up high in a tree, looking towards the city. Karl was watching after little Alan and his cut on his hand. Tad was patrolling the perimeter again. I could see him out far but he didn't come close enough for any of us to talk to him. I thought maybe he might come over and hang out with us, but we have to stay on alert right now. I'm told that Mom was really tired and went to bed early. I hope she's getting some rest. I'm sure she hasn't had much lately. With everything that's happened lately it's a wonder if she's slept at all. I was hoping to get to talk to her tonight on her own, but I'd rather she get some sleep. We can talk later.

Tommy and Tad have really been making this place a compound. They've put up metal plates on some of the fencing to shelter us from sight. All of them are wearing the armor Tommy made. Even Dad. He's not wearing the head piece that Tommy made a helmet out of for him, but he is everything else. Karl should be proud of what they've done for us here. I'm sure they're just boys to him, but they act like men. I wonder how their training is going. Dad's probably putting them through the ringer. Whatever that means. I'm sure it's not good.

Dad seemed happy to see me walking even though he didn't come down from the tree. He asked me how I was feeling and I told him I felt fine. At which point he said, "Good because I need to catch you up with the others." Then he laughed, causing Tommy and Sarah to follow suit. I walked right into that one, but it was nice anyway. I told him not to expect me to be climbing trees like him anytime soon. He told me not to worry about that. Then I wanted to go look in on Alan and my two human crutches helped me get there.

Karl was looking over him with a bit of a worried look. Alan was asleep already. I asked Karl how he was doing and he said that he seems fine, but he was worried about his cut anyway. Tommy asked his father why and he said, "Because he cut himself on the fence and all of the fencing is rusty." I could tell that Karl was worried about infection as he went on saying that we didn't have medications for something like that. Being on the run for so long has drained us of a lot of things. And no way of replacing them has come up so far. Tommy spoke up saying that Alan was a tough little guy and that he could handle it, but his father looked back at him and said that it wasn't that easy. Sarah asked Karl if there was anything that we could do to help. He just replied, "Keep him away from the fence." Then he looked at me and asked me how I was doing. I told him that I was all right and happy to be walking around again. He told me not to over do it and we went on, leaving him to ponder whatever was on his mind at the time.

We walked around some more. It was sad to take in our area at night when seeing everything was hard to do. Several buildings were here and they were intact. None of them were really big, but they offered us shelter if we needed it. The guys had taken up one rounder building like the one I was in. Dad and Mom took up another building that was square, along with Sarah in another room. Alan normally stayed there too, but not tonight. He would be with Karl this evening. Off and on all of them would regularly stay in the main room of the building I was in too. Continuing along I managed to see the cages we passed by on the way in. There was a gated area that looked as though it held some four legged animals. I missed it before. Along with several other things. Eventually we made it back to where Dad was.

We found him looking towards the city still as though he hadn't moved a muscle all of that time. Sarah asked him what he was seeing, and he hesitated to answer at first. At that point we heard a thumping noise that sounded like thunder from far away. Dad looked down to us and said, "Guys, I don't think we're alone here." I asked Dad what he meant by that as he looked back in the direction of the city. He replied, "There's a fight going on in the city right now." Tommy asked what he could see but he said that he could only tell that there was a battle going on around the southern edge of the city. Suddenly we knew we weren't alone. But who or what was doing the fighting in the city? And what were they fighting over? Dad thinks that it must be part of the population fighting against the machines. That doesn't mean that they would be friendly to us though. Either way it's shocking that any people are still there at all.

After this revelation Sarah and Tommy helped me back to my room. I was kind of sad to be returning to it, but Sarah stayed with me for a while. Tommy went off to start patrolling the perimeter along with Tad. On the way out he kind of gave the top of my hand a kiss and made his way out the door. Sarah seemed to pick up something from this and just looked at me with a half grin on her face. I didn't notice at first because I was too busy looking towards the door. Then I turned towards her and saw her. She asked me what was going on with the two of us, and I was embarrassed to say anything at first. There was a big part of me that wanted her to know. I like confiding in Sarah and I never like hiding anything from her, but I wasn't sure what to say. As it was I didn't have to say anything first as Sarah said, "You like him, don't you?" I couldn't answer at first as I was thinking up how to tell her how things were with us, and she spoke up again. "Oh my God, you do," she said. I managed to get Sarah's name out and she continued to talk. "I knew something was different about you. I thought it was just the church incident, and I knew that he cared more about you than you ever said that you did about him, but this is incredible."

"Sarah", I said. "We….

"What?," Sarah said back to me.

"I love him, Sarah," I told her.

Sarah just looked at me with her big eyed look and grinning, and said, "Oh my God, I'm so happy for you." You would have thought that I said we were getting married or something. Then she looked at me and had to ruin the moment by asking me if this wasn't just some kind of hero worship thing or something. I reassured her that it wasn't, and she ran up to me and gave me this huge hug. Then we went through twenty minutes of how I didn't want her to go around talking about it to everyone, and she told me that it was our secret. Some secret it is. I think most of the others know that there's more to us than what there used to be, but I want it between Tommy and me. Not the whole world. What little of it there is to share it with.


	7. Chapter 7

January 17, 2138 (Morning)

Last night was really cool. It feels good to have some things out in the open with Sarah. I need someone to vent to. Maybe she does too. It just feels good to share some of what is going on with someone. I kind of wish yesterday evening could have lasted forever.

Sleeping wasn't so great. I had another messed up dream. It didn't seem to be about much. All it was about was Tad. People kept calling to him and he wouldn't listen or respond to them at all. It was as though he couldn't hear what they were saying. Or chose not to answer. Kind of like he is now. Off in his own world where nobody is welcome at any one given time to another. The dream seemed so real, but made no sense to me at all.

Speaking of dreams, I need to talk to Mom. Maybe I can get with her today. At least I can walk with a little help and go chase her down if I have to. Well, once dad is done with his training session for the morning and I can get my travel buddies to help me out. He plans on making me start some kind of training today also. Something to do with using a combat knife. I don't recall a time in my life ever thinking that Dad and I would be having a father daughter moment like that. Learning how to cut things apart with skill. Maybe we should add that to the family album.

Well, my ride is here. More later.

January 17, 2138 (Afternoon)

Tommy brought me a surprise earlier. Crutches. How thoughtful. If I didn't know better I would have thought that he and Sarah had better things to do than cart me around. At least he's practical. And hey, I can get around if they're not around. Speaking of not around I didn't see Tad this morning at all. He must have gone foraging for us or something.

Dad did about an hour with me about how to use a combat knife. Well, arm movements with it anyway. How to hold it and use it without exposing myself. I guess it's the next best thing to a prom.

I found Mom earlier after Tommy brought me the crutches. She didn't seem herself and we had the weirdest conversation. She asked me to sit down like she had to talk to me and I might not wait to hear her out or something. Like I can run off right now. I sat with her and she started talking about not holding on to hatred. I told her that I don't, but she went on like I hadn't said anything. Saying that I shouldn't let how I feel about things stop me from thinking clearly. I had no idea what she was getting at and told her so. Then she came over to me and reached out, holding on to my hand and went on talking about being one of the eldest of the group of us and that I need to be a leader. At that point I was totally clueless about what she was getting at and the whole conversation was too bizarre for me. So I came out and asked her what was wrong. I could see a tear fall from one of her eyes and I knew something was up. Only one thing made sense to me about the way she was acting. Maybe she had another dream.

So I asked her if she had another premonition again. She said that she wasn't sure, but she had a dream about me last night and she didn't understand it. It obviously bothered her, though. I asked her what it was about, but all that she could say was that she could see me in some kind of a cold, dark place that I couldn't seem to get out of. And she seemed to feel that I wasn't forced to go there, but I had put myself there on my own. The only thing that came to mind for me was the time I spent in the church, and I told her that she must have been dreaming about that. But it had already happened before now. Her premonitions didn't work like that before. Regardless of this, I tried convincing her that she must have been seeing that because I wouldn't put myself in a place like that without any reason. Then she said to me that maybe I will have reasons to that I don't know of. I couldn't imagine that and felt that Mom was too stressed to see things clearly. So I went about changing the subject by bringing up my own dreams to her.

I told her, "Mom, I'm having some dreams of my own and they seem very real to me." Her eyes widened at this and she asked me about what they were about. I told her that they didn't make sense to me and that they were of strange things that I couldn't make any sense of. The one of Tommy being torn away from me and the one where I couldn't find her or Dad through the fires. Then the dream about Tad last night. She thought that maybe it was because of everything that I've been through, but it seems like more to me. I told her that I could almost feel Tommy's hand as it slipped away from me. That I could feel the heat from the flames as I kept yelling for her and Dad. I couldn't hide my worried look apparently as I was brought back to the dreams and how real they seemed, and Mom hugged me tightly and told me not to worry. That we would all be fine.

January 17, 2138 (Evening)

The day was going all right for the most part. Until we looked in on Alan. Karl was with him and he was visibly upset. Alan's eyes were red like he had been crying a lot, and Karl was cleaning his cut hand again. Sarah asked Karl how his hand was coming along. He claims that it doesn't look right. It's swelling up and looks discolored. He says that we need antibiotics for Alan that we just don't have. Sarah asked Karl if Alan would be all right, but he didn't answer her. We knew what this meant without asking him to tell us. Alan could lose his hand or his life if Karl couldn't get this under control. I went over to Alan to calm him down, and gave him a big hug and tried to make funny faces at him to make him happy again. Karl asked Sarah to go get Dad.

After a minute passed by I had little Alan smiling and giggling again underneath his drying tears. Dad came in and Karl didn't hesitate to tell him like it is. We had to get Alan medications somehow and it had to be soon. Otherwise we were going to have to make other choices that nobody should ever have to make. Dad asked to be sure that there was nothing here within the zoo that we could use for Alan and Karl felt certain that there were no medications that could be used for him. At that point I spoke up and asked about the small hospital on the outskirts of the city, just South of it. Karl felt like it was a possible solution if it wasn't occupied by dreads, and felt that the other two hospitals would be too far into the city to be safe. We would have to get past the downtown area with the capitol building to even get toeither one of those two. Dad didn't like this news at all and said so, but Karl told him that we had to do something or else. He didn't go on with the options if we didn't do something, but it got through to Dad.

We had to find a way to cross the water or try to cross one of the two bridges again. We could make our way to the hospital part of the way by moving through the woods, but some of it would be making our way through fields and grassy areas. Once I sat and thought about the approach to the hospital from listening to Karl and Dad talking the only thought that seemed to remain was that it might be occupied by the dreads.

Dad said that he would go on his own, but this caused Karl to start disagreeing with Dad. He told Dad that he still needed to finish his work and that he was needed too much, but he came back with not wanting to risk any of us in trying to get the medications. Sarah spoke up at this point and said that she could go with Tommy and Tad and get what we needed, but Dad wasn't cool with that idea either. He told her that he wouldn't risk any of us kids on this, which just made Sarah more fired up than before. "We're not kids anymore, Dad. We're soldiers if we want to survive. We have to be," she said. He just replied, "No", as if what she was saying was inadequate. At that point I felt that I had to speak up and support Sarah, like the typical big sister should against her tyranical parents. I told him that Sarah was right, which caused him to look at me with an annoyed look instead of her.

I told him that we can't just let Alan carry this infection and see what happens. If we do we might as well put a laser to his head and finish him now. He looked at Karl and asked him if there was any other option, and he told him there wasn't unless we want the boy to lose his hand or die. And waiting wasn't an option that we could afford either. The longer that we waited the longer that it might spread, and his immune system wasn't developed enough to take chances with. Dad finally started to weaken. He didn't want to explore any of the possibilities that could happen if we didn't get the medication for Alan.

Then I had to make things worse by saying that I would go along too. This flew like a lead balloon for Dad as he pointed to my crutches and looked at me like I grew another head out of my neck. Karl didn't fall in with Dad and react to this like I thought he would. I expected him to say that there wasn't any way that I could do it, but instead he just stood there looking at us argue. Dad spoke up and made a bet with me that he thought I couldn't win. Once I heard it I didn't think I could either. He said that if I could walk to the door of the room we were in without using the crutches he would allow me to go along. Sarah started to speak up against this, but Dad told her to stay out of it firmly. Sarah started to speak up again and I pushed my hand towards her to get her to stop. How was I going to do this?

Tired of waiting for me to make more faces at him again, Alan started calling me Mama again. I looked at him and I felt like nothing could stop me from getting to the door. I let go of the crutches and started to step to the door. My legs were shaking and it was much harder to stand without them than I thought it would be. I started to reach for the table, but I wouldn't let myself grab it to get to the door. Dad was right. I had to make it on my own or I wasn't good enough to be going with them. Sarah started cheering me on, and I saw Tommy show up in the doorway. He looked concerned, but he started cheering for me too. "You can do this Amber," he said as I got closer to him with each step. I could hear Sarah saying from behind me, "Come on Amber." After eight of the longest steps of my life I was finally at the door, and Tommy reached out a hand to support me with. I hesitated to take it for a moment when Dad spoke up and said, "Fine. But you need to think this through. Walking to that door isn't going to be like making our way to that hospital." I told him that I would be ready. I still don't think he believed me. I had to do this. Somehow.

Dad left the room and went passed Tommy, who kept his hand out and I finally grabbed it. Karl agreed with Dad about me going, but said that he was proud of what I had done. He told me that I needed to get a lot of rest and asked me if it hurt. I told him that it didn't, but I didn't want to volunteer to him how shaky I felt.


	8. Chapter 8

January 18, 2138 (Morning)

"What the hell are you thinking?," Mom yelled at Dad from outside of the building I was occupying. She must have heard the news about me going with Dad to try to get the medication for little Alan, and wasn't happy. I didn't want to cause them to argue with each other, but this is something that I feel I have to do. Alan has nobody but us. If we won't be there for him, who will?

"I made Amber a deal and I'm keeping my part of it, like it or not," he replied back. Not moved by this Mom went on, saying, "David, she's hurt. She's not ready for what you're planning to do. It hurts her just to be standing up in one place. How is she going to walk all of the distance you're going?"

"She's strong and she'll be safer with us as an armed group than staying here. You have enough to look after watching Alan and someone has to guard this place. If she stays here I'll have to leave another one of the kids here too, just to secure this place for you all. I don't want her to go, but if this place gets attacked while we're gone you and Karl can't defend it and have two others to care for while you're doing it. So I'm splitting the two for us all," Dad came back at her with.

Annoyed, she started again saying, "And what if you all get attacked, huh? How can she help in her condition? How can she defend herself or even run away? She hasn't healed yet."

"You're underestimating her. And me. I don't want anything to happen to her and the best way to make sure nothing does is if she's with me," Dad replied again.

"Why don't you take the boys and leave Sarah and her here with us?," she asked him in a calmer voice.

"Karen, I can't keep using and risking them on things that I'm not willing to risk our daughters for too. The girls aren't the only ones getting hurt and affected by what's going on. Did you just see us carrying Amber back all bloody and broken looking, or did you see Tommy sitting against the wall with his face buried in his blood covered hands after we got Amber to her room? And do I even need to talk about Tad to you? This war isn't fair to any of us. And I'm not going to start making it less fair for them as I go on trying to hide the girls in an ivory tower with Tad and Tommy guarding it," he said in his unchanging voice. Mom had no reply to this and I had made my way to the door at this point to see if I could stop them from arguing more. She stood there with tears running down her face, speechless. Dad walked over to her and hugged her, saying, "I'll take care of her. And Sarah. And the boys. Stop worrying." Then he walked her back inside of the building that she was staying in.

I've got to do this. I have to prove that I'm all right because we're falling apart here.

January 18, 2138 (Afternoon)

Tommy came to my room and found me standing on my own. Without his crutches. He asked me if I was all right. I told him I was, but he can tell that I'm struggling a little. He told me that I should put on the armor if I could. If not, I should at least put on the piece that surrounds my waste and abdomen. To which I agreed with him and he helped me put it on. He covered the front of me with it and attached it from behind me. It was kind of funny. How gentle he was trying to be with me like I might break apart if he didn't. It felt good, but I had to give him a little bit of crap over it because he was in such a somber mood. I told him not to worryand that I wouldn't shatter like glass or anything, but he still didn't react at all. He finished attaching it to me, the put his hand on my shoulder and kissed the side of my head.

I turned to him and looked at him as he gazed back at me. I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he thought I should stay here. Totally confused by this since he seemed to support the idea last night, I looked at him all befuddled and asked him why he was saying this now. He said, "Because I can't stand this. I can't see you like you were in the church again." I didn't know what to say as I was touched deep inside by his words, and yet I had to go along with them and convince him that everything was fine. All that I could think of to say was, "You won't." I looked right into his eyes when I said it hoping that he would believe me, but I don't think it was flying with him. It seemed like he was trying hard to find a respectful way of telling me that I might not be able to protect myself without saying that I was weak, and I reached out and took his hand and said, "I have all the protection that I need in all of you. I won't expose myself to anything and I'll stay to the rear if I have to. But I have to do this. For Alan. Please believe in me, like I believe in you."

He didn't say anything back and he truned to walk away, but I wasn't finished with him yet. I said, "Hey. I think you forgot something." He turned and looked at me with a slightly confused look on his face, and I went on saying, "The leg armor. I can't put it on by myself. I can't bend forward that far. Tommy looked at me with a grin creeping up on one side of his mouth and said, "Shouldn't Sarah be helping you with that. You're dad might not…," and I stopped him saying, "Dad and Sarah aren't here. You are." I couldn't hold in my smile any longer and neither could he. "All right then," he said and headed my way. He picked up the piece for my upper left leg and stopped in front of me, looking like I might stop him after all. I looked at him again and said, "What are you waiting for? Tonight will be here by the time you get it done at this rate." As he leaned down to put it around my leg I reached out to him and pulled his head towards me. He hesitated for a second, surprised by me I suppose. Then I kissed him the way I've wanted to for a long time now. After a few seconds of this that seemed to last forever, he told me we better get serious or we would never get the piece on. I said, "All right sarge, have it your way." I guess we both felt like saying another "I love you" wasn't necessary, but now I wish I had said it again. I don't know why. Maybe because he might not know it, but he does. I wonder if he feels the same about not saying it again to me like I do him. I'll have to say it to him again tonight.

January 18, 2138 (Early evening)

We're ready. Apparently it's Dad's plan to cross the same bridge again. He feels that I can't swim across the lake and seems to think it's deep. I agree with him, and Karl says that I can't let my old wounds get wet with salt water. Where's a hovercraft when we need one? Hearing about the bridge again has everyone in a sober mood.

Everyone is being really quiet. Although Sarah and Tommy keep asking me if I'm all right. Karl gave me some pain medication and his fatherly speech about not getting crazy out there. "Hang back a bit and don't get all froggy," he said to me. I told him that I will, and he hugged me and told me to get back here quick. I told him that I will again, and he said, "Make sure you do."

Rather than burden me with more weight than necessary Dad is having me carry a laser pistol rather than a rifle. That way I can use my hands for other things. Like supporting myself. Sarah and the guys are armed with laser rifles and combat knives. It's really hitting me now how scared I am for all of us. I can't let myself be a burden to the rest of them. I want them to be able to rely on me like I can on them. If anything happened to any of them because I messed up or was too weak to keep up I couldn't handle that. I've just got to focus on what we're after. Get it and get back here fast.

Mom wanted to see all of us once more before we left. We got the old, "Do what you father tells you" speech from her. Then a tearful "I love you" and a hug that I thought would squeeze me out of my armor. We all told Mom that we loved her too. Even Tommy. Then there was that awkward moment with Mom and Tad as she tried to tell him how much she cares about him like the rest of us. He said that he knows that. Then he said, "Don't worry," and left it at that. I couldn't really tell if he was just trying to be strong for Mom's sake or if he was back into his emptiness again. He seemed to be trying to be honest with Mom. Sarah and I have to talk about him when we get back.

Karl told the guys that he loved them also, and gave both of us girls a hug and said the same to us. I could see the worry in his eyes. I told him as he hugged me that we would bring it back for Alan. More to reassure him that we would all be all right than to be telling him the obvious. I didn't want him to feel like he was watching us leave just so that one or all of us might not come back. Like he must have felt about his wife not coming back. He's been there for me so many times. I wish I could wash all of his pain away. I hate that seeing us leave to do this is hurting him too, even though he hides it well.

Dad gave us the game plan. I'm to stay with him or Tommy all of the time, behind whichever one I'm with. Sarah and Tad will stay to the rear during the trip there. They will also be the rear guard for us as we enter the back of the building. We have to find the pharmacy and hope that it hasn't been emptied by now. Or destroyed. Dad has an alternate plan, but wants to avoid using it if he can. If not he plans to take Tommy or Tad and go it alone. I think his idea is to move closer to the city and see if there's a drug store left standing on the outskirts, but he's saying that I have to return to the zoo with Sarah and one of the guys if he has to move on that far. I hope it doesn't come to that.

Well, it's time. Hopefully I'll be writing in this again tonight or tomorrow. If nothing goes wrong.


	9. Chapter 9

January 19, 2138 (Early morning)

All that I can say is things didn't go as planned. And I really don't know where to begin. So I'll begin at the beginning.

The walk through the woods was very tiring, but the more I made myself walk the more I got used to it. Thanks to Karl's pain medication dose I wasn't hurting much and it kind of relaxed me a little. I wasn't shaking like I had before. Well, not due to me condition anyway. But it was cold and windy all of the way there.

Tommy kept putting his hand out to me to help me over spots that he felt were rough to walk over. So did Sarah. Tad looked back at me a few times like he might also, but the other two seemed to be on it before he had any chance to offer. Most of the time he seemed to spend looking out for anything that we didn't want to see and staying closer to Dad. Dad would put his arm out once in a while to indicate to us that he wanted us to stop moving forward without speaking. Other than that we kept trying to move quickly. The faster we moved the faster we could be done and the faster Alan could be getting the help that he needed. But it wouldn't be that easy in the end.

Upon approaching the bridge Dad motioned for all of us to stop just short of the edge of the woods. He wouldn't have us get ambushed again. I remember what he told us before we left. Once we arrived at the bridge he would stop us and cross the bridge on his own if it was clear of any dreads. Then he would continue on past the bridge as though he were alone, making his way to a cornfield about three-hundred yards past the other side of the bridge where he would enter it as though he planned to cross the field, then stop inside of it and wait for us to catch up to him. He would make us wait three minutes before we exposed ourselves from the woods to cross the bridge ourselves and follow him. We sat at the edge of the woods as Dad went ahead of us. He hadn't seen anything or anyone there and felt it was safe, and he moved to the bridge and stopped for a second. Then he crossed without looking back towards us or indicating in any way that anyone else was with him. I started counting in my head as soon as he was cleared from our view.

As I counted in my head the rest of us weren't comfortable with even being around the bridge again. Sarah's eyes were so wide open that I could almost see her fear in all of the darkness of the woods. Tommy had his hand covering his mouth as though he was deep in thought. I can imagine what he was thinking about. Tad looked disgusted towards the bridge, aggravated at the sight of it. I caught all of them look at me at least once during the wait and none of their expression changed at knowing that I saw them looking at me. There was so much to think about and little time before we had to move again. I was scared for Dad. Was he all right in the field? And I was scared for all of us having to cross the bridge again. Tommy seemed to let go of his fears or thoughts of despair first, and looked at me for the time. I indicated that it was up, and he stood up and said, "Let's go. Sarah? You're with me in front."

Each step scared the hell out of me, but all I allowed myself to think of was the last time I saw little Alan playing with me, and him calling me Mama. Halfway across the bridge we could see across the lake. We could see what looked to be some kind of a power station off to the Northwest of the lake, towards the city. There were some hints of light emanating from within the city. Maybe they were street lights. We couldn't tell. Sarah was looking in the other direction, towards the bank that she washed up on. Her hands were shaking and I couldn't tell if it was the cold wind or her fear of what had happened to all of us here. She started lagging behind a step or two and Tommy reached out his left arm back to her and offered her his hand as they crossed. She took it for a second and caught back up to him, then let it go as he put his hand on her shoulder and moved on. All the while Tad was walking beside me, looking at Sarah as she walked all of the time.

We made it to the field where Dad was with nothing happening but the wind picking up some. The gusts becoming stronger and making the walk cold, but the overgrown weeds and plants growing in the field were tall and broke off some of the wind from hitting us. We met Dad in the field and moved on without incident. Everyone felt more calm after getting across the bridge and meeting up with Dad again. After another forty minutes of moving forward the hospital was in sight. It was smaller than I expected, but it was still seven stories tall. It was a square concrete building that was dark all throughout. We had approached it from the rear, where there was a back entrance to the ground floor and a loading dock located at the corner closest to us. The dock offered a low spot where we could make our way to and hide for a moment, so we did after Dad observed the building for a few minutes. A landing pad for small ships was located to the far side of the building from us. Neither the building or the landing pad looked like there had been any activity for ages.

Dad had us stay close to the wall as we made out way towards the door to the rear entrance to keep anyone inside at the windows that we might not have seen from seeing us or shooting at us from them. The building seemed intact and the door was open. Dad went in and entered the lobby, and we followed close behind until we were all inside of the door. Guns aimed all over the lobby, we stayed low as Dad looked around. It was hard to see in the lobby until Dad turned on the lamp on his gun. A stairway leading up was just to the right of what seemed to be a counter. The large room was surrounded with chairs along the walls, and some rows of seats towards the front entrance. A lift was also located in the room and it seemed to have power. It was closer to us than the stairs. However, Dad wanted us to avoid using it and stick with the stairs. That way we could see ahead of us.

Satisfied that the room was empty, Dad told Sarah that he wanted her to remain in the lobby behind the counter. I didn't know of it at first, but Dad had a plan for Tommy as well. He told Tommy to stay in the lobby with Sarah and search the computers behind the counter for some kind of parts that he needed. "Take everything that looks like what I described to you Tommy. Then get upstairs with us," he said as he moved to the stairs. "Amber, Tad, let's go," he told us and headed up the stairs.

Looking up all of the way and aiming our weapons as high as we could see, we made our way to the second floor. Walking up the stairs was harder than walking on a flat surface, and I started lagging behind. Tad was in front of me and above me by a few steps and must have noticed. He stopped for a second and looked back down at me. I was using the rail on the wall to support myself but it was slowing me down a little. Tad reached his hand out to me, which was really a big shock. Expecting his emptiness to be back, instead he pulled me up to the step he was on and offered me his shoulder to support me too. I could hear Tommy rummaging through the computer below us as we went up the stairs.

"Look for anything saying pharmacy on it,", he said as we reached the top of the stairs. I looked around and didn't see anything but another small lobby or waiting room and a nurse's station. Tad spoke up and said, "There's a sign on the wall. It's two floors up." Dad replied, "Look for the stairs leading up." They were at the far end of a hallway leading away from the nurse's station. Dad paused for a second, reaching for his communicator and said, "Tommy." I could hear Tommy say, "Yeah." Dad said, "There's another console at the station on the second floor. If you get done quick enough, hit it too. But hurry. It's not the priority." Tommy replied, "All right", and we moved on to the stairs.

I could feel some pain as we reached the third floor. The stairs were a lot harder to climb than I expected. If it weren't for Tad I don't know if I could have kept up. Another dark hallway greeted us there. It seemed to be the maternity ward. There were lots of little things there. Little stickers on the floor of tiny feet and such. I tried to block it out of my mind, but it reminded me more of little Alan than my own pain of not knowing of my own condition. The lift seemed to run up through the center of the hallway that we came to, and the stairs continued up without us having to walk farther into the ward. Dad started up again with Tad helping me to the next set of stairs. Dad started to turn around the stairs above us, and Tad had helped me to the fourth step when we heard a noise coming from below us. It sounded like a chime, and Tad and I looked at each other. He had heard it too. I called to Dad and he turned back to us. I said, "We just heard something down in the hallway below us." Before he could react he could hear the noise of something mechanical running within the building himself. He grabbed the communicator again and said, "Tommy? Where are you two?" Tommy replied quickly, "I'm moving to the second floor right now." Dad asked him, "Where's Sarah?" Tommy replied, "In the lobby like you wanted." Then Dad asked, "Are you in the lift?" Tommy said, "No, I'm halfway up the stairs." At this point we could tell that Dad was worried. He told Tommy to hurry to the second floor and look to the center of the hallway at the lift. Then tell him what he was seeing. Between five and ten seconds later Tommy was back on the communicator saying, "It's moving like there's someone in it. It's moving." Dad said back to him, "Wait there and stay hidden. Leave the console alone and watch the lift. If it stops on your floor and opens, you know what to do if you have to. Head down, get Sarah, and get back to the zoo. Don't look back.

Sarah was hearing this on her communicator as well and asked what was going on. She could tell that the lift was moving from her position in the lobby also and knew that none of us planned to use it. Dad said for her to stay hidden behind the counter unless one of us came to her, and to watch the doors of the lift as well as the entrances. Tommy chimed in again and told Dad that the lift appeared to be on the sixth floor and seemed to have stopped moving.

Dad told Tad and I that we had to hurry, and we moved as fast as we could to the fourth floor. The hallway was empty except for there being many little rooms for patience off to the sides. The pharmacy was located almost at the center of it. Dad quickly made his way down the hall as we followed him. I felt the need to watch behind us now. Not knowing why the lift was activating. I was afraid that anything or anyone could be anywhere in the building. Tad looked to the lift and said, "Floor six, Dave." Dad replied, "Hurry," and entered the pharmacy with Tad. Tad began grabbing as many medications as he could, but Dad focused on reading what he was taking to make sure of what he was getting. He wanted to get the antibiotics that we needed. Suddenly Dad said, "This is it. This is one of them." Right then Tommy started talking again, saying, "The lift is moving again."

Upon hearing this I was standing in the hallway and I found myself looking down towards the lift, away from the stairs we had come up from. It was moving again and headed down towards our floor. I aimed my laser down the hallway towards the lift when I could hear a voice behind me saying, "Don't move." It wasn't the voice of a dread. And it wasn't Dad's or Tad's either. There was a woman behind me saying it. I started to look back and saw a golden haired female standing in one of the rooms we had past, aiming a laser pistol at me. I couldn't move or think of what to say when Dad seemed to appear from nowhere, sticking his laser rifle out of the window of the pharmacy and saying back to her, "You better rethink that."

The woman stayed within the door of the room, still aiming the laser at me and saying, "Who are you? Why are you wearing that armor?"

Dad's answer was, "Stand down. Now Sergeant." Tad had also entered the doorway and had his own rifle aimed at the woman. I briefly noticed the military stripes on her sleeve that Dad must have been referring to.

Suddenly the lift chimed down the hallway, and two more figures stepped out of it. Then they stopped and aimed their weapons down the hallway at me as Tad turned towards them and joined me aiming back. I thought we were all going to end up killing each other without ever getting the medications at all. Another female voice called down the hallway for us to drop our weapons, but we didn't and neither did Dad. Dad repeated again loudly, "All of you, stand down now." The golden haired female spoke up then and said, "We're after the medications. Who are you and why are you here?" Dad replied, "So are we and we're not leaving without them." The woman changed her tone of voice a little, saying, "We need those medications. I can't allow you to take them." Dad replied, "You don't have a choice."

"Look, what is it that you need from the meds? Maybe we can split them, but I have to have some of them," she said back.

Dad stopped talking to the woman and started talking to Tad. He said, "Give her what you have." Tad hesitated a second, and then reached for the medications he had with his left hand while training the rifle down the hallway with his right. The woman lowered her weapon and took what he handed to her. Then she asked about getting some antibiotics from us. Hearing this I couldn't keep quiet any longer. Without really thinking about what I was saying, I said, "I need those for my son." This seemed to catch the woman by surprise and she said, "Son? How old are you?" Dad fell in with what I had said and replied, "Old enough." She changed back to her previous tone again and said, "Can we split them between us? We have people that are wounded and they need it too." Dad handed a bottle over to Tad without saying anything further to her and said, "Give her half." He pored what he thought to be half in her hand when we could hear Sarah on the communicator saying, "Something is wrong. The sky is lighting up outside. We've got company."

Hearing this caused all of us to panic, and the woman stepped out of the room and yelled to the other two down the hallway, "Let's go. Move it." I could see the name Anderson printed on her uniform. The other two stood up from their positions and came running down towards us as Dad spoke up and said, "Let's go. Let's go. Get downstairs now." All of us began to disregard the others even though all of us were armed with weapons. All of us were running down the stairs as fast as we could, but even though it was easier to go down the stairs it was hurting a lot because of how careless I had to be getting down. Seeing the sky through the windows as the light started shining in from outside made me hurry even more. We could hear a rumbling too. It was some kind of a ship landing on the pad outside.

Distracted by the pain, I stumbled on the steps and started to fall when the other female soldier grabbed me from behind and stopped me from falling. I looked back to see who had me and it was another girl that looked a little older than me. She had light brown hair and the name she had printed on her uniform was Archer. I said, "Thanks." Trying to forget that we had just been aiming weapons at each other a minute ago, I wanted to say more but there wasn't any time for that. She replied, "You're welcome. Let's go." Sarah was out from behind the counter and was standing at the back door, looking towards the side of the building with the landing pad. The light was shining bright at her and I could feel the cold in the lobby as we ran in from the stairs. Tommy had already joined her and was aiming his laser in the direction of the ship.

A second passed and the blond sergeant was handing some of the medications to the third soldier that she referred to only as private, and told him to make sure they made it back to base. Sarah and Tommy began firing their lasers towards the landing pad as laser fire started flashing across the door they were standing in. The male soldier started running towards the front entrance, away from us. I don't know why, but the two females followed behind us as we ran to the rear entrance to help Sarah and Tommy. All hell was breaking loose and I was scared for us all. Dad reached the door and told Tommy and Sarah to run while he covered them. Which they did, and headed for the dock since it was lower and had cover. Tad reached the door and started shooting with Dad as a laser hit the door and sparks flew all over Dad's armor. Archer and Anderson also reached the door, and told Dad to go and they would cover us. He did as they said, but he seemed to not want to by the look he gave them. "Go,", Anderson shouted at us and he and Tad started running for the dock.

I went out too as Archer began firing at the dreads that could be seen in the light from the ship. Another laser hit the door and shattered the glass inside of it, causing both of the soldiers to have to duck back into the lobby. I stopped and turned around to see another dread running towards us and a small group seemed to be running towards the front of the building. Probably after the male who had already left the other side of the lobby before us. The dread running at us started aiming it's rifle at me and I fired before it could. I could see the sparks flying as it fell backwards, tripping another dread coming up behind it. I didn't have time to be happy about it as I turned away and ran towards Tad.

Dad had already reached the dock and was getting Tommy and Sarah to move on as he fired back at the machines. This break gave us a few seconds to clear the building and I ran towards Tad with the two female soldiers behind me. I tried to run fast but it seemed like I wasn't moving at all. I finally reached Tad when more lasers started flying by us again Anderson passed us and Archer had made it to within ten feet as we started shooting back again. I could see two dreads shooting at us from behind her, and a young man wearing a gray uniform that was aiming a gun at us too. As I looked back at the dreads I could hear Anderson yelling, "Come on." So I started to turn when I could hear Archer scream out in pain, and I saw her fall down.

I turned back to her, frozen and not knowing what to do besides shooting back. I hadn't noticed at first that Tad was still standing there. Archer looked up at me as she struggled to get up and couldn't. I could see smoke coming up from her back, and I ran back to her. I heard Anderson yell, "Carrie," as I was running back. I grabbed her shirt and started pulling her towards the dock and I could hear all kinds of voices behind me, yelling my name and saying to run. I couldn't look back at them as the guy in the gray uniform started firing at me. I couldn't shoot back and pull Carrie too, so I just kept pulling her. After a few feet I could hear her telling me to run and leave her. I said, "No,", but she reached up and tried to push my arms back. Another laser hit the ground next to her and suddenly lasers started flying by me from the other direction, back at the dreads. It was Tad. I looked back at him and he was standing there stationary, with a laser pistol in both hands. Shooting back and he looked like he was in a trance.

I could hear so many voices behind me again that they were hard to make out. Until I heard Sarah screaming, "No," and I could hear footsteps running towards me from behind. Again Carrie pushed me away and said to run. Then she looked at me and begged me to leave. Another shot flew by my head and I had to back off away from her. It killed me as I moved farther away, watching her struggle to get up as she kept falling back down. Yet Tad kept standing there and wouldn't run away. I ran back past him and looked back, but he was still standing in place, firing back at the dreads with this empty look on his face. Anderson had already reached the dock, but Sarah had gotten loose and was running to us again as everyone was screaming at her to get back there.

I yelled back at Tad to come on, but he wasn't hearing me. He kept firing and standing there as if he was invincible. Like some statue that couldn't move. A laser burned past his arm and almost hit me, but he wouldn't move. I could hear Sarah screaming his name from behind me as another blast hit the ground next to him. He fired again and I could see another dread fall down. The young man in the gray uniform was kneeling down, firing at Tad too and I ran to him and tackled him to the ground as a laser flew through the place he was standing in. It hurt like hell, but I had to get him out of there. So I screamed the first thing that came to mind at him. "Don't let Sarah die out here with you." He seemed to come back to his senses, and we both ran like hell.

It took forever, but we made it back here with Anderson and the medications. But at what cost?


	10. Chapter 10

January 19, 2138 (Morning)

I could only sleep for a couple of hours. How ironic that is when we're all so tired. I'm not even sure that I could call what I managed to get sleep. My body hurts everywhere and it's hard to put words together and concentrate. I just can't get last night out of my mind. Especially that girl Carrie and what happened with Tad.

Carrie. She was so brave and pretty. I didn't want to leave her there. If I could go back and make things right for her, I would. Now all that I can do is sit here and cry over her. How useless is that? God has to look after her. Somehow. He just has to. If she's gone I hope she's with him now. If not, I hope he will take care of her and protect her from the dreads. I'm sorry, Carrie. I wanted to save you too.

Tad, what happened to you? I've never seen anything like what he did last night in my life. It was like he really wasn't there at all and was seeing something totally different than the rest of us. Earlier in the hospital he was so much more like himself. Being kind and helpful to me. Protecting us from the other people in the hospital with us. Then seeing Carrie fall behind us. It must have been like reliving the loss of his mother all over again. I can't imagine what he's thinking or feeling. I don't know what to do for him. I don't know if Dad does either. But something has to be done. He can't keep going on like this, and we can't go on with him being so unstable either. I really thought that he would stand there shooting back until he destroyed them all or someone shot him first.

All of the way back here we practically had to guide him back. His eyes were open but it was like he wasn't seeing the things around him as we moved. The blond female soldier was forced to return with us, and was questioning Tad about what was wrong with him until Dad told her to stop. Either struck by his bravery or his stupidity, she had no idea what to think of what happened either. Sarah remained silent all of the way back, but she guided Tad once in a while and I could see tears falling down her face as we walked on. She must have been feeling as helpless as the rest of us. Yet, if she hadn't been there with us I don't think Tad would have came back. It's like he has this mission that will never end until he ends with it. If he keeps going this way, who else is going to come to their end with him?

Someone is coming into my room. I'll have to write more later.

January 19, 2138 (Afternoon)

Well, I can quit calling the blond woman that vague name now. She came in to check up on me and told me that her name is Kimberly. Sergeant Kim Anderson. She looked tired, but still cared enough to come in here. We talked for a long time and it was nice. She started off wanting to say that she was sorry for the way that we all had to meet and for aiming a gun at me. She said that she never wanted or intended to hurt me at all. It's just that she has a duty to perform. I wanted her to know that I was sorry too. I never wanted to hurt any of them either. And I told her that I was sorry about Carrie. She looked at me and thanked me for trying to save her from the machines.

For a moment all that I could do was keep telling her that I was sorry that I failed to get her away from them and I wanted to cry, but it was as though she wouldn't let me as she put her hand on my shoulder and said, "No more. She did her duty and you did more than you should have to help her. There were so many times that you could have fallen there with her. She wouldn't have wanted that. She would rather die or be digitized than see anyone else die or be digitized instead of her. You were a stranger to her from the beginning, and yet she was left with a real friend in you. That's all Carrie has ever wanted. Just some good friends to be there with."

Kim's facial expression didn't change any, but I could see her eyes glass up a little. How strong she must be. Feeling all of that emotion and holding it in for my sake. It made me wonder how many friends she had lost to this war and how many times she had to hold her emotions in. I looked at her and said with a laugh, "You know, I won't tell anyone if you want to let some of that out." She looked at me and laughed too, saying, "Really?" I said, "Sure. Why don't you tell me about her and have a good cry. And I promise I'll keep it our secret." Without really going on about Carrie she let a tear fall down from her left eye and glanced up at the ceiling for a second. Then she looked back down at me and said, "How old are you?" I said, "Didn't my Dad tell you that I was old enough?" We both laughed at this and she said that she would tell me about Carrie sometime and take me up on the offer. I guess one day we'll have a crying contest.

Trying to let go of the Carrie subject for now she said that she went to see my son. Suddenly I remembered what I had said to her in the hospital. She told me that she understood why I wanted to get the medications. Then she told me how cute little Alan was. All that I could think about was that I had called him that. My son. Is that what I want? To be his mother for him? Maybe I just wanted him to need me. I don't know. She went on talking about Alan but I failed to hear some of what she was saying. She noticed, and looked concerned at me. I picked up on it and she asked me if I was all right. I told her that I was fine, but she said that she had noticed that I couldn't seem to move very well as we ran from the hospital. Then she asked me what happened to me. I told her that I jumped off of a bridge, and she took it wrong at first. She thought that I had tried to kill myself or something. Then I had to go on explaining the rest of the story. She looked concerned at the point where I had to tell her that a biodread shot me. She asked me if I was all right, and I told her that I was going to live. I didn't really want to talk about that episode anymore, and she ended it by saying that she was sorry that I was hurt by the machines. Then she offered me her ear if I ever wanted to talk too. For a soldier she seemed so easy to talk to. Maybe she should have been a bartender. But then again, maybe I should be a student in a school. With a boyfriend and a prom to go to. Maybe a class trip and a spring vacation. Well, one out of hundreds isn't bad I guess.

Kim asked me about Tad before she left. It couldn't be hidden from her that there was something really wrong with him. She told me that what he had done was either the craziest or bravest thing she's ever seen. Funny, I thought that too. I tried to keep it short, and told her that he had lost his mother not long ago and was there when it happened. Kim said that she was sorry for him, and figured that the hospital battle must have brought it all back to life for him. She said that maybe she could talk to him, but I told her that he doesn't relate well to others about anything. The only person he seems to connect with well is Sarah. The only other times he seems to come back to himself are rare, and usually when he feels the pain of someone else somehow. I told her that it feels like watching him die a little bit each day. As though he was being eaten up by some kind of poison that he couldn't get rid of. That nobody but Sarah and nothing but the pain of others seems to cure for a minute or two.

She started looking really serious after I had said all of that. She said, "You know that he's a good kid, right?" I replied, "Yes." She went on saying, "I think it's just some form of traumatic stress. He doesn't want to hurt any of you." I told her that I knew that, but he's so unstable. It's like he doesn't have any control over what he might do anymore. Feeling that I wasn't convinced by her reassurance of Tad's intentions, she said to me, "What is it?" And I said, "Didn't you see? My sister has this connection to Tad that can't seem to be broken. It isn't just Tad caring about her, she has some kind of feelings for him too. Maybe it's some kind of crush. Maybe she really loves Tad somehow. That's my problem. I know Tad is a good person. Even though he has a hard time showing it, he's my friend. I know that he cares about me like a brother. I really know this, but sometimes I think Sarah is losing herself with him. In the yard of the hospital she would have ran back to him and died there with him without thinking about it twice. I could hear it in her voice. Crying out to him as he stood there within himself. She isn't pulling Tad back to us. He's taking her to his end with him. And I don't know if he will stop or if she can pull him back harder."

Kim said, "She's so young, isn't she?" I said, "Yes. And I want the best for them both, but I don't know what to do anymore. I don't know how to reach him and neither does anyone else. I've tried and I keep trying. But I think he's afraid to let me reach out to him. I want to shake the hell out of him and make him Tad again, but I don't know how."

Kim said back to me, "You found a way in the yard of the hospital. Are you sure it wasn't you that reached him instead of you referring to Sarah, and him hearing her name being what had brought him back?" I said, "I don't know, but I don't think so. I'm telling you that Sarah is the only one that he has any hold on to any longer. And either it's the best thing that will ever happen to her or it's going to be the end of her altogether as he destroys himself and she follows him to her own destruction."

Kim said, "Maybe I can do something for him. I'll try. Since I'm stuck here for a while anyway, I might as well."

"Good luck," I said back to her. "I really don't fear Tad. I know that he cares about us. I just don't think he knows where he's going. Or that Sarah is following with him. You know?"

"Yeah, Amber. I know. Take it easy and get some rest. I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks Kim. And thanks for coming here and talking to me," I said back as she walked towards the door.

She reached the door and turned to me, saying, "No. Thank you."


	11. Chapter 11

January, 19, 2138 (Evening)

Tommy stopped by and we took a walk for a while. We looked in on little Alan for a while and played with him. He seemed pretty happy. Tommy carried him around on his back and I tried to help him walk around for a little while. Holding his good hand and guiding him around the room. Karl has been treating the bad one, but we don't know anything yet. It still looks bad but Karl says that we have to give it time and keep him inside. He's not missing anything outside anyway. It's cold and it started snowing a few hours ago.

I'm still not sure what Mom knows about last night and I'm a little afraid to go into it with her without talking to Dad first. I think all of the adults are having a bit of a meeting right now. So maybe I'll know pretty soon. Sarah is patrolling the perimeter herself while Tad is located in our high tree stand. After leaving Alan, Tommy and I walked around the zoo and checked up on both of them and brought them both some hot chocolate. Karl found some kind of a stash in a cabinet. He gave us some too and it's great. So we had to share it with the other two.

Tommy and I held hands as we walked aroung the zoo. I can't say that we talked that much to each other. I guess we didn't want to go over the hospital incident again. I wanted to ask him about the components Dad was after, but I thought better of it and saved it for later knowing that it would bring up the hospital. I just wanted to enjoy being together for once. So that's what we did. He put his arm around me several times and I think that's what he wanted to. A break for the two of us. On the way to see Sarah we walked kind of slow. Partially because we were still rather tired from last night and none of us sleeping well, and because we wanted to make our time last longer. The stars were shining through the clouds a little, and it was nice for a change. It gave me the chance to stop and enjoy being with him. Running my hand through his dark hair. It was great.

Once we reached Sarah she was happy to see us. And the drink. It was pretty obvious that she was stressed over last night, though. She needed a distraction from having so much time to walk around thinking about it all again. Apparently Tad has been avoiding her today, and she doesn't understand what's going on with him. She's never seen anything like last night before now. And as close as they are she's never seen him push her away. Could it have been what I screamed at him last night on the grounds outside of the hospital? Could it be that he's realizing what I've been thinking all of this time? That he's speeding his way to his end and she's following right along with him? Whatever it is, Sarah is hurt by how he's reacting to it and her. Now I feel like I've made this rift between the two of them. But I had to get him to run. I didn't know what else I could say that he would hear.

Tommy gave Sarah the brotherly hug thing, trying to make her feel better. He says to just give him some time and things will be all right. I don't know if he really believes that though. He says that he will talk to Tad too, but he doesn't tend to hear what we're saying to him as far as we can tell. Even his father can't break through to him. I wonder if Kim got to talk to him yet. I wonder what she'll say to him if she does too. I guess it can't hurt any. All that she can lose is a few minutes of her time, and right now she has plenty of it.

We stayed with Sarah for quite a while, then moved on to the tree stand. Tad was staring off in the distance, and Tommy said to him, "Hey. We've got something hot for you bro." He looked down and reached for the cup without speaking at first. Tommy handed it to him and he took a drink. Not reacting to the goodness of the hot chocolate, he looked back at me and said, "Amber?" I was surprised and said, "What?" He kept looking at me and said, "Can we talk? Please?" Then he looked at Tommy and said, "Alone?" I said, "Sure Tad," and Tommy spoke up and said, "Uh, yeah. I think I'll go check up on Sarah for a while." Then he raised my hand that he was holding and kissed it as he walked away.

He waited for Tommy to walk away and he climbed down from the tree stand. He couldn't seem to look at me at first. It was like he couldn't find the words that he wanted to say. After a moment of this, he looked at me and said, "I'm sorry Amber. I'm sorry." He seemed like he was trying so hard to talk and open up to me and couldn't think of what he wanted to say, and I said, "I know." Then we both stood there for a minute trying to find more words for each other. Then Tad spoke up again saying, "I didn't mean to put anyone at risk. Not any of you. I was trying to help… I wanted to…." He couldn't say it as he kept looking away from me. I started crying for him and spoke up and said, "I know. Tad, I know."

He looked so lost. Lost within himself. Lost for words. Lost for how to feel. He even seemed lost to letting it all out. Like his tears were gone too. And he looked back at me as I stood there crying in front of him, looking back at him. We stayed like this for a second or two, and he reached his hand out to me. It was shaking as though he couldn't control it, but he kept it out there for me. I grabbed it before he could pull it away and hugged him hard. I kept hugging him for a long time, until he finally wrapped an arm around behind me and put one hand on my back as if to hug me back. As we stood there I released the hug I had on him and grabbed him around the neck. I held his head in place, making him look at me and not look away again as I looked into his eyes and said, "I'm here for you, Tad. Please stop closing yourself away from me. You can talk to me. You know that, right?" He didn't speak, but nodded as if to say yes. "You can. I'm right here for you if you let me. Please talk to me," I felt the need to say it again as though he was not hearing me the first time. He said, "Yeah," and left it at that. And back up the tree stand he went. I think I touched him a little. I hope so, anyway.

January 20, 2138 (Noon)

I slept well last night. I imagine all of us did. We were all tired from everything that's happened lately. I woke up and decided to take a turn patrolling the perimeter for a while to give one of the others a break. It gives me a chance to think about things too. Thinking about the cold and snow mostly. And how upset Sarah was last night, and my talk with Tad. At least I know that he's trying to help himself. I hope he and Sarah can work things out.

We're learning more about Sergeant Kim. She says she's part of a resistance group formed out of the guard soldiers from the military base and some citizens that have armed themselves. Dad told her a lot of things about us too. She seemed pleased to know that Dad was a soldier too. The hospital situation was a mess for all of us. Her side of it was that she and three other soldiers were sent there to get medications for their injured because the two other hospitals are too far into the territory occupied by the biodreads. We only saw two other soldiers with her that night, though. Anyway, they haven't been able to retake that area and they figured the hospitals would be occupied by the enemy. We did too, which brought us all together. We still don't know if the enemy knew we were all there or if they stumbled upon us by accident. She thinks they just found us by coincidence, but she can't be sure either. She also doesn't know if the other trooper made it back with the medications or where the third person from her group is.

Kim and Dad both seem to be on the same page. They both know that the enemy knows us, but do they think we're just part of the resistance that strayed out there for medications or do they know that we're out here? Dad is having one of us scout outward from here. Down the pathway leading into the zoo so that we can have some warning before the dreads find us if so. Karl is out right now. He's trying to give the guys a break like I was trying to give them a break from perimeter duty. They're the workhorses of the outfit but they need a break too. So does Sarah. Hell, all of us do.

Mom checked up on me earlier. She keeps asking me if I'm all right, and I keep telling her that I am. Sometimes I just wonder if she doesn't believe me when I say it to her. Maybe it's because I haven't talked to her about the other night and how it went. It isn't that I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to share any more of the bad things in life with her. I get tired of knowing that Mom is worrying about everything. Sparing her one more thing to worry about is better to me than burdening her with another one that she can't do anything about. Besides, how can I pay someone that brings me a hot drink back by adding to their worries?

January 20, 2138 (Late afternoon)

Something happened while I was out on patrol. Karl came running up the pathway and up to the entrance of the zoo. He called to me and told me to get Kim quickly. I did and she came running back out with me to ask Karl what was wrong. He said that someone is making their way up the trail to the zoo. He went on saying that they were wearing a uniform like hers. Her eyes widened and she said to come with her. We both ran along with her, but she wanted us to stop before we got into the person's view. Then we hid behind some bushes and let her move forward on her own. She didn't move off away from us very far before she hid behind a tree. Her thin frame hidden from the ongoing path and her laser drawn, she stood there so still that I couldn't even see her breathing. The sticks snapped and the snow packed underneath the strangers feet as they approached us, until Kim stepped out suddenly and told them to stop. Holding her gun on them, she told them to put their hands up and identify themselves. It was a younger man, in his twenties from what I could tell. But it wasn't the same one that left the hospital with the other half of the medications that we took.

He stopped, looking startled by her sudden presence. The he said, "It's me Kim," as though he knew her. That's when it started getting really weird. She didn't lower her laser, and replied, "That's Sergeant to you." I looked at Karl to see what he was thinking at that time because I was kind of blown away by how she was acting. I thought he was one of her resistance friends, but she wasn't acting that way. He spoke up again saying, "It's Corporal Cane." She asked, "What are you doing here?" He replied, "I got cut off from home and had to come this way." She snapped back, "How do you get cut off when you were supposed to be on the other side of the hospital when it was being attacked by the enemy, and then end up on this side with enemies everywhere, occupying it?" He came back with, "I can explain, but can we get to a safe point?"

"Where's Kincaid at, Cane? He fled in your direction and should have ended up running directly into you," she asked. "I didn't see him or Carrie. Or you," he replied. Then she said, "I need your communicator. Mine is damaged and there isn't another one that has the range I need to contact our base." He said back, "I'm sorry, but I lost mine running away from the enemy." Staring at him like she would burn a hole through him if she could, she glared at him for about five silent seconds and lowered her weapon. Then she told him to come with us as we stepped out from behind the bushes.

I still don't know what's going on there. She was acting like a totally different person with this guy. Maybe I should mention it to Dad and see what he thinks. If Karl doesn't beat me to it. He looks as confused by all of it as I am.


	12. Chapter 12

January 20, 2138 (Evening)

The events that took place earlier were strange, and they continued to go on being strange this evening. The adults are all in another meeting right now, except for Mom. She's looking after Alan right now while Karl sets in on this one. I kind if wish I was there too. I want to know what's going on.

Earlier we were all eating in the lounge and the conversation seemed to be dominated by this Cane guy, Dad, and Kim. Karl sat pretty much in silence during the whole thing and so did Mom, except for her trying to say things to make this new person feel welcome. Which didn't seem to make Kimberly lighten up any. It just seemed to make her roll her eyes more. She really doesn't like this Cane guy and I wanted to know why. He sat there acting respectful to all of us. Saying, "Thank you" lots of times and such. His story about why he was here didn't have much substance to it, though. The longer the conversation went on the thicker the tention between Kim and him got. During the meal I kept trying to take things in, and I noticed him glancing over at Kim once in a while as someone else was talking. She was glaring back at him most of the time we spent eating in the lounge.

After a long time of their fencing over the story he had to tell, I noticed something that I thought was rather odd. I caught him staring at Sarah for a few seconds while Dad was speaking to Kim about trying to get her some form of communication with the resistance. It seemed kind of intense as though he was going to say something to her. Then he didn't say anything and looked away quickly when Dad stopped speaking to Kim. I looked around the table to see if anyone else might have noticed, but I didn't see anyone that appeared to be looking. Sarah hadn't noticed either apparently, but got finished eating before the rest of us and wanted to leave. She said that she wasn't feeling that great earlier and didn't eat very much. Hopefully she isn't feeling sick. Then again, it might still be that Tad and her haven't worked things out and gotten back to normal. Anyway, I noticed Cane looking back in her direction again as she was leaving the room.

After Sarah's departure Kim started speaking at Cane again saying, "Your quarters will be the North garage." He relied, "All right." Then Kim cracked a slight grin and said, "We'll try to round up a space heater for you. Until then, stay warm." At this point Dad was looking at both of them like an explanation was going to be required later about what this was about. I was finished eating myself and so was Tommy, who had been sitting next to me and had been poking me in the hip with his finger, trying to get my attention. I looked at him and he glanced at me, then said, "Please excuse us. We need to take over for Tad so he can eat." Karl said, "Sure son. Be careful." On that note we both left.

Outside of the lounge, Tommy and I went to the tree stand to give Tad a break to eat. Tad was like, "Thanks guys. It's freaking cold up there." It wasn't much but it was nice to hear him volunteer a few words on his own. Without any prompting at all. Then he left to get some food while we took over for him. He was right about the cold. Especially in the tree. The wind was cutting us in half.

Alone for a while, Tommy started the conversation he had wanted to start in the lounge and couldn't. He said, "What the hell was that about?" I said, "I have no idea but she obviously has a problem with this Cane person." Tommy went on saying, "Do you think we should try to get Kimberly alone and ask her?" I wasn't sure about that one and replied, "Maybe we should give it a little time so that Dad can question her about it, and then go to him and see what she told him." Tommy said, "Maybe. Your Dad picked up on it and seemed to be wanting to say something right there at the table, but let it go. Surely he wants to know though." I replied, "Wouldn't you? I do?" Tommy paused for a few seconds, then said, "You don't think they have some kind of a past, do you?" I told Tommy that I wasn't sure what he meant by that, and he said, "You know? Maybe he's an ex or something." I shrugged, not knowing what to say with such little information to go on. Then Tommy spoke again and said, "I don't know, but she doesn't seem to like his story about how he got here. She keeps questioning him about it as though she doesn't believe what he's saying." At this I replied, "That doesn't sound like a problem with an ex to me. Unless he's a cheating, lying ex." Tommy spoke again saying, "I guess we'll find out something soon enough. Let's keep our ears open and maybe we'll find out sooner." I couldn't resist mentioning it to him by now, and said, "Ears open? They're freezing off. I won't have any by tomorrow at this rate." Tommy reached behind his back and pulled a stocking cap out of his back pocket. Handing it to me he said, "Oh yeah. I forgot this, didn't I?" I smacked his arm for being so dense and we cuddled up to each other to keep warm, watching towards the city and hoping the machines wouldn't make life any colder for us.

January 21, 2138 (Morning)

The weirdness still lives. This morning I awoke and got dressed a little early. I wanted to give Tommy a break because he had been up most of the night keeping watch. We're all trying to stay on alert since the hospital incident because we don't know what to expect. They might start looking for us more if they think that we are a different group than the resistance within the city. Before I could get to Tommy I noticed Cane was awake already and was outside. I could hear him sharpening a knife of some sort as he scraped it on a block, and it got my attention. I looked in his direction to see what the noise was that he was making and I found him leaning against the wall of the garage he had stayed in, staring at Sarah as she was patrolling the perimeter. He would look down once in a while, but seemed focused on her. I kept standing there looking at him until he finally noticed me and grinned, and said, "Hey? How are you?" I replied, "Fine," and turned and started walking away when I could hear Kimberly's voice yelling, "Corporal." He glanced back and I could hear her say, "There are apples to peel. Get to it."

January 21, 2138 (Afternoon)

After the episode this morning I felt it necessary to go out of my way to talk to Kimberly. I went to her building and knocked on her door. She said to come in and said, "Hi honey. What's up?" I told her that I needed to ask her something personal because I wasn't sure what I was going to get as a reply. She said, "That's ok. What do you want to know?" I said, "What's going on with you? Since this Cane guy has arrived you haven't been yourself. You seem angry at him for some reason." Kim interrupted me at this point saying, "Amber, you have enough to worry about than to be bothering with what I have going on. Trust me. I've got it under control." She seemed sincere to me, with her strong attitude and booming self-assurance. Still, I said, "Is there anything that I can do." She looked at me and said, "No honey. It's all right. I've got it. Go look after that little boy of yours. He's a cute one." Whatever it was between the two of them, I wasn't going to get anything out of her today.

January 21, 2138 (Early evening)

Dad and Kim have been talking about our situation. She can't communicate with the resistance base because our communicators don't have the range for what she needs. She had a better one but it's busted and Cane claims that his is gone too. Because of this in part, and not knowing what the dreads might be thinking, Kim thinks that we should do something to throw them off of us. Well, in case they're looking for more than just the resistance. And looking in places that they haven't been yet. Like here. Mentioning the power plant that could be seen from the bridge to her she seemed to have a revelation. She feels that it might be in our best interest to feign an attack on the power plant, but from the far side of it rather than from our side. She figures that if we fake an attack from a side farthest away from where we are the dreads will think that we came from that direction and not here. The problem with this is that we will have to run and get back to here anyway, yet make them think we ran in the other direction. In other words, making a long path home and exposing ourselves more to ensure that they think we came from inside of the city. Karl is working on a path for this, but nothing is solid as far as a plan yet. So we go on waiting on alert for now.

January 21, 2138 (Late evening)

Tommy came to my room a while ago. He seemed concerned about something. Before I let him talk I told him that I talked to Kimberly, but I couldn't get her to really say anything about Cane. Then Tommy told me that he asked Dad about it too, and he told Tommy that he didn't know anything but he was very aware that there's a problem with the two of them. "So we're back to square one then," I said to Tommy. That's when he spoke up and said, "There's something else to worry about." I asked Tommy what was wrong and he said that he just came from his father's room. Karl asked him about the medications. Not understanding this I asked what Tommy meant. Tommy said, "Dad asked me if I might have taken any of the medications or if I knew if Tad might have. I told him I hadn't and as far as I knew Tad hadn't either." Tommy went on saying that he asked his father why he was asking something like that and Karl told him that some of the medications are missing.

Just then Karl came here to my room and asked to come in. I let him in and Tommy stayed with me. Karl asked with a smile as he glared at his son, "Well, I can guess that you know why I'm here?" I said, "Yes. And no, I didn't take anything from your room." He said back quickly, "I didn't really think so, but I needed to ask. Besides, I didn't want to think that you might believe that taking a bunch of stimulants might help you heal the way that you should." I said back to Karl, "Stims? That's what's missing from your room?" Karl said, "Yes. A lot of what you brought back here were stimulants and all of them are gone." Tommy chimed in saying, "Dad? Why would anyone want those?" Karl replied, "They're addictive son. I can't think of any other reason." I asked Karl what they do for a person that makes someone want them so much. He looked at me and said, "The ones that are missing elevate everything for a person. Their ability to stay awake. Their strength. Their mood and feelings. Everything. But it can burn a person out too." Then it hit us. Tommy looked at me as if he was thinking the same thing as me. Kimberly's mood was so different than before. Could it be her? Karl spoke up again and said, "Are you sure that neither of you know anything about this?" We both told him that we didn't, and he walked towards the door and stopped. He turned and looked back at us and smiled. Tommy and I just sat there and waited for it because we knew he was up to something. Finally he spoke up again and said, "Please don't talk to anyone else about this until I tell you that you can. Good night Amber. And son? Don't do anything improper that I'm going to have to be ashamed of you for later." Still grinning he walked out the door and left us both totally red faced and embarrassed. Still, Tommy crawled along side of me a while later and we both fell asleep.

January 22, 2138 (Morning)

Tommy and I woke up this morning to the sound of Mom screaming Sarah's name at the top of her lungs. It scared the hell out of us and we both went running to her room. We ran in and Sarah was already with her. Mom seemed to be having a hard time breathing and Tommy yelled for his father to come while Sarah tried to comfort her. I asked her what was wrong, but she kept looking at Sarah as though I hadn't said anything at all to her. Her eyes were open really wide, focused only on Sarah as she struggled to breath again. Sarah was already crying and trying to calm Mom down as I began to cry in fear of what was going on in front of me. Karl and Dad finally ran in and and Dad and Karl started talking to Mom, telling her that everything was all right and to just be calm. Then Dad looked at us and said, "Go on. It's all right." But Mom shook her head and both Karl and Dad stopped to listen to her as she tried to speak. She finally looked at Sarah and said, "Stay here." I stood there not wanting to leave, but Tommy said, "Come on. It's all right. Let's go."


	13. Chapter 13

January 22, 2138 (Afternoon)

Mom seems better than she did this morning, but she still doesn't seem normal. She had another premonition. She told Karl and Dad that she was dreaming that she couldn't breathe. That something was stopping her from getting any air. She kept struggling and it wasn't helping. During her struggle she turned her head to the side and there was a mirror sitting on a side table next to her, reflecting an image at her. She wasn't seeing herself though. She was seeing Sarah reflected in it as though she were her. That's when she woke up and screamed like she did. Dad didn't want to tell me, but Karl promised that there wouldn't be any hiding of things between us. So he told me like I asked him to. Not that it does much good. I can't make any sense out of it and neither can anyone else.

All of the excitement this morning has caused us to have to explain Mom's situation to the two soldiers that have joined us. Cane sat there taking it all in without speaking at all. Kim seems concerned about Mom, but I don't know if she's the type of person to believe in things that she can't see or feel herself. So her concern might be more for Mom's sanity than anything else.

On the other hand, Tommy says that he went and talked to Mom for a few minutes alone. He believes in what Mom sees a lot. Tommy tells me that he assured Mom that Sarah was all right and he would look after her. She's been through too much to just let it go though. No matter what any of us say to Mom. Her visions are the things that she will trust in the most because they've proven themselves out in the end.

Speaking of Sarah, she's not feeling better and she isn't eating anything now. Like we don't have enough problems already without her being sick on top of everything else. Karl thinks she just has the flu and doesn't seem all that concerned about her. She's resting in another room right now, away from Mom. Whatever it is that she has, we'll probably all end up with it sooner or later. So I'm not sure that I see the point in it. However, if she's getting some rest that's all that counts.

January 22, 2138 (Evening)

Tommy and I ate quickly in the lounge so that we could spend time talking after. The tension was thick in the room again. Karl wearing his poker face. Kim visibly annoyed. Cane sitting there in silence, taking everything in and Dad being the most vocal of everyone. Most of the talking involved the plan to attack the power plant to the Northwest of us. It's hitting a lot of snags. Karl made a map that reads fine, but we're located to the rear of it right now. To attack it the way we want to and have the effect that we need to have we would have to attack it from the front. Kim guarantees that attacking from the front is not going to work. "If you're into suicide," were her exact words. The plant is located about half of a mile across the far bridge North of us, is surrounded by fencing and has a gate in the front that we would have to get through to actually attack because it's located so far away from the front of the building that we couldn't get close enough. The worst part of it is that there are guard towers around the plant with interlocker turrets. The only chance we have of doing what we want to do is to attack the plant from the West side, which puts us as far away from here as we can get in doing this. We can cross the closer bridge to get across the water again, but putting ourselves on the opposite side of the enemy, away from home? Then getting back here? It's going to require some work.

Anyway, back to our talk. Tommy talked to his Dad earlier about the missing stimulants. He still didn't know who had taken them. He suggested to his Dad that Kimberly seemed very moody and that his father had said previously that the stimulants could be the cause of it. His father told him that she could just be being moody because she doesn't like Cane at all. He's not convinced that it's her. I don't want it to be either. I like Kim, but she's different than before. And she won't say why. It's only with Cane though. Not any of the rest of us.

As Tommy and I walked together he brought up something that I hadn't thought of. And didn't want to. He apparently didn't want to either. It took him forever to get to the point with me. He said to me, "Amber? You know that I love your Mom. She's my Godmother. She's just like a second Mom to me. You know how I feel about her, right?" I said, "Yes." I know that he adores Mom. He went on saying, "Please don't get mad at me for saying this, but do you think your Mom might try to use something like these to enhance her visions?" I cut him off and said, "What? No. She would never do something like that." Tommy went on saying, "I'm not saying this to be hurtful. It's just that you've been telling me about Karen having these wild dreams about you. She's not making any more sense out of them than any of the rest of us. She feels that what she sees is real. I feel that way to. She saw what happened to Mom before it happened. Then it did. Parents will do anything for their kids, Amber. Maybe she thinks that she can see more if she…"

"No, Tommy. It's not happening. She has faith too. Faith that would keep her from doing something like what you're suggesting," I barked at him. Going unnoticed by either of us as I was letting myself get angry over what Tommy was thinking, Tommy looked over to our right and noticed Cane leaning up against a wall within earshot of us. I turned to see what he was looking at, thrown off by him not paying complete attention to me as I rambled at him loudly. Glaring at Cane as he stood there looking at us Tommy spoke up in an irritated voice, saying, "Do you need something?" Cane kept leaning there and said, "No, not really." Tommy continued to glare back at him without speaking again. Finally Cane spoke up again, saying, "Sorry to interrupt your moment there. I think I hear a cup of hot chocolate calling for me." Cane started walking off towards the lounge and Tommy popped off at him, "Yeah? Well don't let that burn you on the way down." Cane paused for a second, and then moved on without saying anything more to either of us.

Still glaring in the direction of Cane as he moved on, I had to speak again to get Tommy to stop looking at him. I said, "Look, let's just drop it. This isn't getting us anywhere." He looked back at me again with his irritated look still tattooed to his face, saying, "How can you stand there doubting how I feel about your mom? I just want what's best for her and all of the rest of us." Before he could say anything else I blurted out loudly, "I said let's drop it." Tommy replied, "Fine." Then he walked away from me without speaking to me again.

I stood there in shock, not knowing what to think. As I stood there trying to figure everything out I glance up at the tree stand. Tad was sitting there looking back at me. Had he been watching all of that time? Even though he had to know that I noticed him, he kept looking at me for a couple of seconds with an emotionless look on his face. Then slowly turned his head away and started looking back towards the city.

January 23, 2138 (Early morning)

I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about everything. Our first fight. Mom. Sarah being sick. Everything.

I know that Tommy doesn't want to say things like he did to me. He's like his father. Always exploring ever possibility to make sure that the problem gets found. Being in the medical profession, Karl has to be that way and his son obviously gets it from him. I shouldn't have reacted the way that I did to him. I know he means well, it just hurts to think of Mom doing something like that. If he's right I can't let her go on hurting herself to tap into her ability to see things. I can't let her do that for me.

God, I miss Tommy. It seems like we're worlds apart just because we left things the way that we did. It seems like this night is going to go on forever too. I have to get to sleep and make this night move faster. Maybe I can make things right with Tommy tomorrow.

January, 23 2138 (Afternoon)

Tommy was out foraging this morning and I couldn't catch him to talk. I slept longer than I thought I would. So I went to the lounge and Kim was there. As I walked in I saw her at the main table looking at Karl's map. She seemed deep in thought as I walked in. She looked up at me for a second and said, "Hey. How are you?" I said, "Fine." She looked back at the map again as though she was satisfied with my answer, but replied, "You don't look fine. What's wrong?" I was a little surprised by her response versus her looking away. It almost seemed sneaky. I thought she would have said that to me as she was looking at me, not staring back at the map. It was like she was reading my mind or something. I had to be careful how I approached my answer. I didn't want her to think that something more important was up.

"Tommy and I had a little fight," I said as she went on looking at the map. "What about," she asked. This was not where I wanted to be when she said that. Trying to think up a good answer quickly, she spoke up again saying, "Your father talks about him a lot. He seems to be quite the catch. Don't you think?" Relieved and surprised by her words at the same time, I said, "Yeah. I guess he is." Kim looked up at me again and went on saying, "You guess? You Dad tells me that he jumped off of a bridge and saved you and your sister's lives. What's there to guess about?" I couldn't find the words to reply back to her with. As I was thinking of how to respond to her, she spoke again and said, "Girl. Strap on a pair and go say that you're sorry."

I stood there with my mouth hanging open for a second, still trying to believe what she had just said to me. I finally spoke up and said, "Kim? How did you get to be so smart?" She said, "I've had a man once. Don't let pride stop you from making things right again. Live your life today. Don't think about living it tomorrow." Curiosity got the better of me and I asked, "What was his name?" She replied, "Mark." Not satisfied with that alone, I went on asking, "Where is he? What happened?" She was looking at the map again as I was asking this. Once I had gotten it spoken she looked up, but not at me. She looked just above the map on the table and said, "He's gone." Looking there still for a second longer she remained silent and didn't go on with what she was saying, then she quickly looked back at the map again and asked me, "Can you go get your Dad for me? I need to go over something with him." I said, "Sure, Kim." I felt like I should say that I was sorry to her, but I didn't know enough to speak again. So I left to get dad for her.


	14. Chapter 14

January 23, 2138 (Late afternoon)

I took Kim's advice. She seemed so strong in her way of saying things and it made me feel confident in what I was doing. I went out to meet him and a funny thing happened. Tommy watched me approach him and once I had reached him, he said sorry himself. I was too, and I told him so. I wished that we hadn't fought over it. We both want what's best. It's just hard to think of my Mom in that way. Even if I know that she wouldn't take the stimulants and use them. It just hurts thinking of it and thinking that Tommy might believe that she would. But I understand what he's saying too. He has good reasons for feeling like he does. He's right too. Mom's vision came true. And his mother knew what would happen. A parent will do anything for their children that they have to.

I told him that I didn't want to fight with him again, ever. I hope we can manage to keep that promise to each other. Maybe it's not very realistic. I guess it's the thought that counts. I told him that I loved him and he said the same. It's funny how you feel like you have to reassure each other that you still love them after all. You would think that people would just know it. Anyway, I'll have to thank Kim for kicking me into gear and spreading some of her confidence to me.

January 23, 2138 (Early evening)

Earlier when Kim talked to me and asked to speak with Dad, she had come up with some sort of a plan to attack the power plant. She knows this area even better than Karl does. She hasn't gone into detail about it with me because she doesn't want me to go with them on this one. To which I don't agree with. She says that there needs to be a large group attacking or it will seem like it was meant to fail on purpose for some reason and the dreads might pick up on it. Yet she wants Sarah, Tad, and me to all stay here while she goes with Dad, Mom, Karl, Cane, and Tommy. God I hate this. I don't want to be left out of this. I don't want to have to sit here waiting and not knowing what's happening to them.

Suddenly I feel like I can't tell Tommy how much I love him and have it be enough. What if something happens to him? What if he doesn't come back? God, please let them all be safe. Please bring Tommy back to me.

January 23, 2138 (Late evening)

I tried to talk to Kimberly about their mission earlier. Of course she had plenty of good reasons why Tad and I weren't supposed to go along. I was recovering still. Tad was needed to secure the zoo. That and I don't know if she has faith in his stability. And Sarah is sick and needs Tad and me here with her. I tried to get her to leave Tommy and take me instead, but she won't go for it and seems to have Dad's support in everything too. Why does she have to be so damn logical? She swears to me that she won't let anything happen to any of them, but after watching what happened to Carrie I can't believe they'll just be safe on anyone's word.

After trying to get Kimberly to change the plans and failing miserably to do so, I had to see Tommy. This empty feeling kept my stomach in knots thinking about what might happen. I had to see him. I found him outside sitting near the entrance to the zoo. He could see the worry in my face and asked me if I was all right. I said that I was but I couldn't take my eyes off of him. What if this was the last day I was going to see him? The last day to be with him? The last time to touch him? To kiss each other? To tell him that I love him? I couldn't stop thinking that this was going to be the last time for anything for the two of us, and I tried to hold it in but I couldn't stop the tears as I looked at him.

He tried to make it all better, and said, "Hey, everything is going to be fine. Nothing is going to happen to any of us. Trust me. Don't cry. It's all right." Then he hugged me really hard and I could feel his own doubt in the length of time he held me there. I looked up at his blue eyes and said, "I really love you." He tried to look strong for me and said, "I know Amber. I love you too." He started to look away for a second and I kept looking at him. I could see the fear in his eyes and he was starting to lose his strength too. He looked back at me again and kissed me. I could feel a tear of his fall on my face as we tried to stay there forever. I reached up to him to wipe his tears away while my own kept flowing and said, "Stay with me." He just looked at me for a moment. Then we both walked back to my building.

January 24, 2138 (Morning)

I woke up with Tommy still with me. We both tried acting like it was a normal day. Ignoring the fact that tonight would be the night for the mock attack. We went to get something to eat and went off to check on Sarah. She was made aware of the plan to attack the power plant also and went out of her way to tell Tommy to be careful. Tommy gave us a moment on our own and Sarah went about reassuring me that Tommy knew what he was doing. She ended it all by saying, "He's coming back Amber. I know it." I wish I was as confident as she was.

I checked up on Mom afterwards. She was getting herself prepared for what had to be done, and also went about assuring me that everything was going to be fine. At this point I just want it to be over. This waiting is driving me crazy.

Checking in on Dad was a bit different. I found him having a rather honest discussion with Kim about Cane and the way she acts towards him before I could actually enter the room they were in. I waited outside and listened to them. I could hear him saying, "Tell me that you two are on the same page because I'm not about to take my wife, my friend, and his son on this venture with you if you're not."

She spoke back and said, "Don't worry. We'll make it work. Besides, all we're committing to doing here is making the attack appear to be real and then running away from the direction of the zoo. Running doesn't seem to be a problem for him at all. It's the staying that's his problem."

"What exactly does that mean, Kim?" he asked.

"It means that I think that he's a selfish opportunist. He served no purpose on our mission at the hospital. He doesn't have a valid explanation for why he's even here. For how he managed to get around the enemies that were trying to kill all of us or the ones that were chasing Kincaid as he ran from the hospital with the medications back to the Carillon. And there were…accusations…about him from others at our base," Kim went on.

"What accusations?" Dad asked.

Kim answered, "Various ones. Nobody would substantiate most of them though. And nobody was even sure where he came from when he joined us. There were rumors that he might have been part of the prisoner population from the correctional facility that could have escaped during the invasion by the biodreads. However, he arrived in a military uniform and seemed to have training. And documentation is a bit scarce on individual people. The Colonel made a decision to keep him with us, and he became part of my squad."

Dad replied, "You said nobody would substantiate most of them. Did someone substantiate any of them at all?"

"One of our squad was a young female. About eighteen or nineteen. She was cute, and I noticed him paying attention to her a lot. His attention was affecting her performance, and her mood. She started seeming depressed and tired. Like she wasn't sleeping and something was bothering her. After a while it seemed like she might be afraid of him, but would never tell any of us what was going on. Before anyone could get her to say anything about what was going on between them she was killed. Almost no time later he started paying attention to the other member of my squad that you met at the hospital, Carrie. She wasn't interested in him. Actually Kincaid had some feelings towards her and she liked him too. Michael Kincaid and Carrie both tried to stay professional soldiers and seemed afraid to let their feelings go further with each other because they both had this sense of duty to humanity. I felt bad for them and thought that maybe they were wrong in this, but they chose that path anyway. Due to this, Cane seemed to think that meant he was free to swoop in and that Carrie didn't have good reason to have a lack of interest in him. So he kept bothering her until I caught him with her, holding her arm so tightly that he bruised her and he had her trapped against a wall and wasn't letting her leave. I stepped in and it was all blown off."

Dad asked, "So what happened after that? Did Carrie tell you anything more about what happened? Did Michael?"

"Yes and no. She didn't tell Michael anything about it to keep from having trouble within our unit. She did talk to me, but only went as far as to say that he was pushing himself at her and she was freaked out over it, and that it wasn't welcomed. Then the hospital happened and we lost Carrie," Kim replied.

"I've noticed that he doesn't seem to be too upset about what happened to her. It doesn't seem like the reaction you would get from someone who cared about the girl," Dad said.

Kim replied, "If you're saying that his lack of showing any emotion for Carrie and what happened to her proves my story to be a lie, you're wrong. If you're saying that his lack of emotion for Carrie is disturbing and proves me right, I would agree with you. He didn't care about the first girl either and never shed a tear over us losing her. I was responsible for both of them, and Carrie was like a sister to me that I never had. I loved her like she was my family. Yet he hasn't reacted to her loss at all."

Dad asked, "And you're sure that you're not just angry over his lack of showing you any emotion over Carrie? You know, Karl's son Tad has issues with emotion himself and for good reason. People have a hard time not blaming him for how he lacks emotion sometimes and for how he has a hard time not talking to others about what he has going on inside. Deep down inside of him there's a good kid that has a lot of love for people. But he's been through too much. Maybe your guy Cane has too and nobody knows it yet."

"And maybe he's just a smart player of people. I know an opportunist when I see one and you don't know him," she snapped back at Dad.

"And I really don't know you and you don't really know me either, do we? So where does that leave us? This mission needs to go forward with us all being on the same team or it needs to be scrapped. Can I count on you because you damn sure can count on me," Dad replied.

"Yes, of course. But my problems with him are real and this mission isn't going to change that. You believe what you want to believe. Either way I'll do what has to be done. But I'm telling you that you had better take my advice and watch him. He's out for himself whether you believe me or not," she came back with.

"I'm not saying that you're wrong, Kim. But right now we need another gun on our side for this attack. He's another gun," Dad said.

"It all depends on where he's aiming that gun, David," she replied with sarcasm.

Dad replied again, "What?"

"Nothing," Kim said back and then walked out of the room.


	15. Chapter 15

January 24, 2138 (Afternoon)

Emotions are running high as we are all waiting for the time for the group to leave and attack the power plant. And I'm a wreck too after hearing Dad and Kim talking. I felt like I needed to talk to someone and tell them what I had heard. I needed to tell someone anything that I could just to get some of this nerved up feeling out. I went to Karl and told him everything that Dad and Kim had said as he was getting things ready to go with the group tonight. He took it all in and was fairly silent as I talked. I don't think he knew what to do exactly at this point. So he told me that he would keep an eye on him too. He also said, "Remember, we're a team." He had so many other things to keep an eye on already that I was afraid that he couldn't watch us all at the same time.

I visited with little Alan a little bit while I was there. He was back with Karl, so that he could watch out for any changes in his hand as he kept treating it. It was getting better and Alan was really happy today. It was a short but nice distraction for a few minutes. It reminded me why we're doing what we are as he tried to come running to me. I had to catch him halfway because he doesn't have his running and walking down to an art yet. He gave me a big hug and we played for a bit.

As I left Karl's building I started walking over to Sarah's building to check up on her. Her condition hadn't seemed to change any for the better or the worse since last I saw her. As I approached her building I was greeted by a sight that I wasn't prepared for. It was Cane coming out of her door. I couldn't get the conversation between Dad and Kim out of my mind and the nerved up feeling was too much for me I guess, and I went over the edge. Rather than walk up to the door, I went after Cane. As I caught up to him I said, "Hey! What are you doing in my sister's room?"

He didn't seem that surprised by my harsh reaction to him being there as he grinned a little and said, "Nothing. I just have this thing about trying to make people feel better when they're sick and down."

"Like Carrie you mean? Just where the hell were you and how were you helping her when she was down as the biodreads shot her in the back, and she fought to get up and keep going and couldn't," I snapped back at him.

"Don't talk to me about Carrie. It wasn't my choice that I wasn't right there with you guys, "he said back to me in an angry voice.

I said back without changing my own tone, "Oh?"

Suddenly his tone changed back to a much calmer voice for no apparent reason at first, and he smiled sarcastically and said, "Wait, I get it now. That crackpot Sergeant has been getting in your ear and saying things about me to you, right?" I wasn't going to answer that one and it left me speechless for a second as he went on saying, "Well, we all have a story and our versions don't always match. But if you're convinced that hers is the only one you want to hear, what more can I say?"

"A lot, if you wanted to. But you haven't so far," I told him as his grinning about this was bothering me.

His tone changed back to being angry again as he said, "How old are you? Fifteen? Sixteen? What the hell do you know about life? Or me? Or the Sergeant for that matter? You hear one side of something and you believe it like it's the gospel." At that moment I could also hear footsteps approaching us. Tad stepped around the corner of the building Sarah was in as though he came there to see her, but he stopped as he saw us standing there and didn't move. He just stood there in silence and stared at us, like he was waiting to hear one of us speak first. I kept looking back at Tad. It was like time just stopped for a second or two. I wanted to speak up and tell him that things weren't cool here, but before I could Cane spoke up again with a completely friendly tone and said, "Things aren't the way that you might think. That's all that I'm saying. Now I'm more than happy to talk more to you later, but I have to get things ready."

Then he started to walk off, and Tad turned away from us and started to walk towards Sarah's door when Cane looked back in Tad's direction and said, "You might want to wait on that. I think she's sleeping." Acting oblivious to what Cane had just said and without looking back, he kept going and entered her room like he hadn't heard a thing at all. I don't know why, but I couldn't hold in this huge smile as I looked at Cane, grinning from ear to ear, who was trying not to react to Tad ignoring him. He glanced back long enough to see me smiling back at him, trying not to laugh outright at him and he walked off towards the North of the zoo.

January 24, 2138 (Evening)

Apparently Sarah was the same. Tad didn't indicate seeing anything worse from her and didn't speak of the events that took place a few hours ago. He didn't even indicate to me whether she was awake or not when he went in to see her. He just said, "She's all right," and left it at that. God, why does Tad have to be so impossible sometimes?

Everyone was packed up and ready to go. Everyone was sharing their warnings to be careful and such. It felt a little better seeing the six of them all armed and equipped as best they could be. Seeing that they weren't helpless made me feel better about things, but there was still this feeling that something could go wrong. And knowing that the silent wait was coming was more than anyone could stand without saying how they felt about each other.

Mom and Dad had their moment. The guys and Karl had theirs. Sarah and I had ours with Mom and Dad, and then Karl. Even Kim spoke up, but mostly with guarantees that everything would go smoothly. Cane stood back saying nothing at all. Before they left Mom and Dad let me have a moment with Tommy. I know that Mom and Dad are aware that we have feelings for each other, but we're both still afraid to act on them a lot in front of them. I tried to look at him and hold it in, but my eyes started tearing up as I stood there looking at him. He hugged me and kissed my forehead and told me that they would all be back. Trying to remember that I needed to respect my parents I kissed him back on the cheek and hugged him again. Then I tried to wipe my tears and stay strong for them all. They started moving out through the door and Kim lagged behind a bit. As most of them cleared the door Tommy looked back at me and moved his lips as if to say, "I love you." Then he turned and exited the door as Kim snuck up to me and whispered, "I'll take care of him for you." Then she left with them. Sarah, Tad and I all ran to the gate and watched them until we couldn't see them any longer. Then Sarah returned to her room while Tad started locking up the perimeter and I went to the tree stand, watching and waiting.

January 24, 2138 (Late evening)

I can see the fireworks from here. The sky is lighting up to the Northwest and it's making me feel like with every light that I see another light in one of my family's eyes is going out. Or Tommy's. Maybe Kim or Cane's. I wanted to jump down and run to them all but I had to stay. Tad spent a moment here and there with both Sarah and me, and then back to making his rounds. He took some time to make both of us a cup of hot chocolate as he came around to both of us. As he approached me in the tree stand we could both hear a distant explosion. It made us both look away in the direction of the power plant for a second. Then Tad handed it up to me and said, "Are you ok?" I said, "Yeah, how about you?" He said, "Yeah, I'm good." He stood there for a moment longer, listening to the sounds coming from the Northwest of us. Then he went back to his rounds like before.

When the sky lit up brighter than normal I could only imagine the interlocker turrets firing on all of them. Right after I could hear another small explosion as though it was disintegrating something in front of it. After what seemed like an eternity of this I saw a brighter light and heard a louder explosion and it seemed like part of the city became darker off in the distance. Shortly after the explosion things quieted down. Then the silent waiting continued for hours.

January 25, 2138 (Very early morning hours)

None of us were sleeping when they returned. I could see that all six of them were there, but one of the taller guys was being helped along as though they couldn't walk right. Once Tad allowed them to enter the gate I could see who it was. It was Cane. Limping along with the help of Karl and Dad. Kim seemed rather quiet and so did Mom. Tommy was looking behind them as if to make sure nothing had followed them back here. I ran out and hugged him quickly as they all entered through the gate. Karl and Dad took Cane into the medical station that Karl was staying in, trying to be quiet and not wake up little Alan. This wasn't working as he kept stirring. So Mom came in and took him with her.

That's when it started. As soon as Mom cleared the room with Alan, Kim started in on Cane.

She asked him harshly, "What happened to you?"

He replied, "I had to dodge the interlocker turret that you weren't dealing with. It hit near me and it knocked me to the ground and I couldn't get back up."

Kim replied, "The turret that I told you to stay away from. What part of that didn't you hear me say?"

"The part where you failed to mention that Tommy would get hit by it if I listened to you," he barked back.

"He wasn't anywhere near it. He was with me you idiot. Shooting the hell out of the dreads on the catwalk. Get your damn story straight before you ever talk back to me," she snapped back.

Trying to break up the argument, Karl looked at Kim and said with a half grin, "You know, you're kind of cute when you're angry." Her expression didn't change as she looked over at Karl, then right back at Cane. As she glared a hole through Cane he moaned in pain. Karl told everyone to leave because he needed to look at what was wrong with Cane. The whole thing left me not knowing what to think and I was tired. I was just happy to see them all back here. Especially Tommy.

January 25, 2138 (Late morning)

I woke up this morning and things were very quiet. It was kind of unsettling to me. So I hurried up and got dressed, and then went outside. Maybe I was the first one to get up besides Mom and Dad, who had taken the pathway out of the zoo and were patrolling the trail like we had before. Things didn't stay quiet for long as I had woken up to one of the worst days of my life.

As I walked around I didn't see anyone that was up yet. During my looking in on everyone I went to check up on Sarah, but her door was locked. This seemed very strange because this wasn't something that she normally did. As I stood before her door wondering why she would lock it I could hear footsteps running up the pathway. It was Mom and she was yelling to me. She seemed really concerned and started yelling for Kim and Karl too. Tommy and Karl came out first with their weapons, and ran to Mom. Then Kim came out of her room and looked back at me as the other three were running off. "What's going on," she asked as she turned back towards the trail. I didn't know and told her that I thought Mom and Dad had seen something. Kim turned and started running after them with her laser drawn. Her golden blond hair blowing in the wind as she ran off after them.

I didn't have my laser and needed to get it, but I felt like I needed to warn Sarah of what was going on and help her too. So I ran back to her door and tried to open it again, but it was still locked. I started yelling for Sarah and she didn't answer me. I started banging on the door and she still didn't answer and I started wondering if she had gone with Mom and Dad for some reason. I had to know, so I backed up and kicked the door in. Then I realized why the door wouldn't open. Cane was there.

As the door fell inside of the room, I could see Cane on top of Sarah. He was choking her as she had her hands on his wrists, trying to break his hold on her. I was in shock at what I was seeing, but as he started turning in my direction I ran at him and jumped on him from behind. I started clawing at his eyes and face as he rose up off of Sarah with me on his back and grabbed at my wrists. Then he spun around and I couldn't keep my hold on him. I twisted in the air and fell off of his back against a table. I can remember the mirror falling off of it and shattering on the floor as I hit the back of my head on the back of the table. The room was spinning for a second and I tried to get up when I could see Cane pulling the knife out of a sheath he was wearing. He ran back to Sarah again and raised it up as she remained there unable to move and coughing. I screamed, "No," when suddenly I could see something darting across the room. It was Tad.

He ran across the room and dove at Cane, tackling him and they fell across the floor of the room in a mangled heap. Cane was trying to stab Tad with the knife as he was holding him by the wrists to keep him from bringing it down. I scrambled over to Sarah as she was still coughing uncontrollably and couldn't catch her breath. I looked back in time to see Tad let go with his right hand and punch Cane in the face, causing the knife to fall on the floor and blood to stream from Cane's nose. Cane started to stumble backwards but Tad still had his grip on his right wrist and pulled him back towards him as he brought his knee up into Cane's abdomen. He grunted loudly and fell to his knees, but Tad had lost his grip on Cane's wrist by now. Cane grabbed the broken frame of the mirror as he was on his knees, and Tad hadn't seen it. At this point I was yelling, "Look out Tad." But it was too late and Cane swung it around and hit Tad in the front left side of his head. The metal pieces sprayed across the room and blood started flowing from Tad's temple and running down the side of his face. Tad stumbled back stunned, and I knew that I had to do something. I didn't know if Tad could even see as he raised his hands to his face for a second and I knew that I had to do something.

Cane reached for the knife again as blood was running down his face. Just as he grabbed it I had gotten to one of the broken pieces of the glass from the mirror. As he started to rise up from reaching for it I slashed at him with the glass and it cut through his sleeve and his arm. This caused him to swing backwards, off balance for a second. I could see his sleeve becoming red as he straightened himself out. For that second it dawned on me that there wasn't anything wrong with him at all. His leg was fine and he had been faking the whole injury thing since the group returned.

Cane slashed back at me and I stepped back a little to avoid it. At this point Sarah started screaming my name and I told her to stay back. He kept moving at me with the knife I kept backing up because it was longer than the glass that I had. He slashed at me again and almost caught my wrist with it as Tad slammed into him again and they both went tumbling out the front door and down the steps outside. I got myself to the door and noticed that the knife had fallen out of Cane's hand again. I could hear Sarah yelling Tad's name now as she couldn't see what was going on through me.

Outside it was a madhouse. Tad and Cane were punching and kicking the hell out of each other and seemed to be evenly matched, until Cane threw some dirt in Tad's face and he fell backwards. This gave Cane enough time to grab his knife another time and he jumped on top of Tad. Again Cane was trying to drive the knife into Tad as Tad struggled to hold it back away from himself.

I didn't know what to do as I could see them on the ground in front of me and the blade kept getting closer to Tad's chest. I could see the blood running down Tad's face and the look in his eyes as Cane kept driving the knife down at him. The look in Tad's face started to change slowly to the empty look he would have when he was losing himself, and then I could see this look of rage take him over. I've never seen Tad look like that before as he started forcing the knife away from himself and started turning it back towards Cane. I don't know where all of his strength came from as this look of rage seemed to take him over even though he was bleeding all over the place. Cane's eyes started to widen and his hands started to shake as he kept trying to turn it back on Tad and was failing to do so. It kept turning back until it started to angle its way back at Cane. Cane kept trying to stop him until he finally let go of the knife with one hand and punched Tad in the head again. The effort to do this threw him off balance enough for me to run forward and push him to get him off of Tad. Cane fell backwards onto the ground.

Cane jumped back up and started to turn back to Tad when I started running towards him with the broken glass again, causing him to stop and start running towards the open front gate. I stopped and turned to Tad who was getting up, but stumbled as he tried to move forward. I reached out to help him up and he grabbed my arm. Then pushed me backwards towards Sarah's room as he ran after Cane. I wanted to stop him, but Sarah was standing in her doorway and I stopped long enough to yell at her to get her laser in case he came back. Then I turned and ran after Tad as he ran out of the front gate after Cane.

I was running down the trail trying to catch up with Tad and I noticed him veer off of the trail and start running through the woods towards the lake. He seemed to be catching up to Cane as he struggled to break through the foliage and Tad just kept smashing through it all, tearing up his sleeves and arms all of the way. As Cane neared the edge of the trees and had just broken through, Tad tackled him again and they both smashed through into the openness of the bank of the lake. They both tumbled out of the woods and into the water as I tried to make my way through the path that they had made to get to them. Tad managed to get up faster and hit Cane again. Then he started to wale on Cane with punches until he splashed water in Tad's bloody face and he couldn't see again.

Cane grabbed Tad from behind and started forcing his head under the water. I had cleared the woods by now and started trying to make my way to the water as Tad forced his head up again for a second, just for Cane to push him under the water again. I was so scared for Tad and didn't care if I got killed getting to him. I wasn't going to let him die alone. I dove into the water and started forcing my way to him, but I could see that Tad wasn't forcing his head out anymore. Cane seemed to be enjoying drowning Tad as he was clenching his teeth in this sick smile and kept holding Tad under the water. I got to within ten feet of them and reached up out of the water with the piece of glass so that I could help Tad when this beam of light shot over my shoulder and it scared me, causing me to scream out.

I glanced back to see where it came from and didn't notice at first. Then I turned back to the immediate threat and I could see Cane frozen in place for a second, a burn hole coming from his chest and he fell backwards into the water. I looked at him as he floated there at the top of the water. Then I looked back again and could see Kimberly standing next to a tree at the edge of the woods. I could hear her say with this icy cold look in her eyes, "You're relieved, Mr. Cane."


	16. Chapter 16

January 25, 2138 (Evening)

Life is so funny. It's hard to believe how one person can hurt so many so much with very little effort. And with all of the enemies that people have out there in the world right now, the worst enemy some people have is another person. Since this morning this thought is the one that I keep coming to just to keep my mind from racing through all of the other things that I can't answer. The ones that I can answer are the ones that have brought us to where we are now. Despair.

Tad finally did it. He saved someone. Even if he couldn't save his mother, he saved Sarah. I can only think that that's what he wanted for all of these years. And now he might die because of it. He's laying there in the bed, so pale it makes all of his bruises and cuts look even worse. He can't wake up. And nothing that I can do can fix this. I would trade places with him in a minute, but I can't. Why did I doubt him?

When we pulled him out of the water there was this second where the blood was gone. The dirt and the cuts were gone. And then that second went away and all of Tad that was broken became clear as day. The huge cut on his head bled down the side of his face like it had just been opened. His lip and arms started bleeding. His hands. Then the pain and the bleeding seemed to spread to everyone else.

Tommy and Karl saw him. Karl was trying to help him and stayed strong just because of that, but Tommy is falling apart. He's blaming himself for not dealing with Cane earlier, and for not being there today. I've tried to let Tommy know that I'm here for him, but it's hard to tell if he's hearing me because his focus is completely on Tad right now.

Sarah broke down as she watched us carry Tad back through the gate. Mom and I had to hold her back and keep her from touching him because we thought that she might hurt him worse than he already is. She was crying so hard that I thought she might hurt herself.

Even Kim has been affected by all of this. She held a cloth against Tad's head and applied pressure to it all of the way back here, and she's trying to act strong. But I know that she wants to take his pain away and can feel it as much as the rest of us do. She saved him. What more could anyone ask of her? She's standing with him. Feeling for him. She cares. What else can she do?

Dad feels responsible for it all. He feels like he's the leader and should have acted before this happened. There really wasn't that much time, but I don't think he's ever going to feel that way. I can see him questioning himself now, where he didn't before.

Mom is with Tad now. Talking to him and hoping that he can hear her. Telling him stories about his mother and some of the crazy things they've done over the years. I don't think it beats this one. She keeps stopping once in a while to cry and tell him how much she loves him. All the while he just lies there unable to answer. Like he's broken. I guess he has been for years and we didn't know how to fix him. Only Sarah seems to be able to and even she can't fix this. I don't think she can even fix herself now. I need to go to her and be there for her, but if he dies I don't think there will be anyone that can help her. Ever again.

I've tried all day to think of what I could do to help Tad, and I failed except for thinking of one thing. Praying. I figured God already knew everything that I had to say except for one thing. I didn't know if he was the type for it, but I made him a deal. A contract or arrangement you might say. I offered God the only thing that I know that I have to give if he would let Tad come back to us. My life. Whenever he chooses I'll hand over my life to him and his will if he can see it within him to let Tad live. He's hardly ever had a chance to live and be happy. At least I've had some happy moments in life. Tad has been cheated out of everything good in life and has never truly been given any kind of happiness since his mother has been taken from him. All that he's ever known is pain. He's known it so well that it's one of the few things that he ever reacts or responds to. That can't be what his life was meant for. It can't be.

If this is a test for us, it's a test that I know Sarah can't pass. Whatever it is between them, it's always been there and Sarah needs Tad. It's like two sides of this coin Mom gave me. It's not whole without the other. If God takes Tad he might as well take her too. She won't survive without him. I hope God hears me. So she doesn't have to.

January 26, 2138 (Morning)

I woke up this morning to the sound of a bell in the distance. I could tell that it was far away but wanted to hear more of it anyway. I went outside and Kim was listening to it too. After listening to it for a bit, Kim took out a paper and started writing something down on it. I started to ask her what she was writing, but she hushed me as kindly as she could so that she could hear more from it. After several minutes of the bell ringing it stopped and Kim started talking to me. She told me that it was the bell from the top of the Carillon Tower and the resistance was sending her a message in code because they've realized that she can't communicate with them for some reason. According to Kim, Michael has made it back to them with the other half of the medications from the hospital. They also told her that our attack on the power plant has helped them retake a part of the city. Cutting power to a group of city blocks had left the machines less able to defend themselves against attacks by the resistance.

As the message went on Kim became aware that they didn't know that Carrie wasn't with her. They thought that she was still here with us. It must really break Kim apart inside, waiting to have to tell them that we couldn't save her from the biodreads at the hospital. What a burden that has to be to have to tell them. Especially Michael. And not knowing what became of her too. I wouldn't want to have to tell them. Maybe it's a mixed blessing not being able to contact them right now. Then again, maybe it just prolongs the hell she must be living in.

After the bells rang we looked in on Tad. He still hasn't woke up, and we found Sarah sitting there with him trying to talk to him and bring him back around as her voice kept breaking from the emotions she can't hold in. She's so occupied by Tad that she won't allow any of us to even look at her neck and try to help her heal. At least it's just superficial damage. Cane didn't succeed in what he was planning. But he's breaking her none the less even though he's gone. I felt the need to walk outside for a minute as Kim remained behind with Sarah, trying to support her and acting confident and strong again. As though Tad were a tough one that couldn't die. I wonder if she made it up as she went along.

After seeing him again I couldn't hold it in either. I stepped out and tried not to cry so loudly that Sarah would hear me. I didn't want her to hear it and know that any of us doubted that he would wake up again, so I tried to cover up my face and hide the sounds I couldn't hold in. I finally walked farther away. I reached into my pocket and found the coin Mom gave to me and read it again. If I trust in God like it says we do, will he take my deal? If he gives what I'm asking I'll keep my end of the bargain. I don't know though. Maybe he's not the dealing kind.

If nothing else, please let him see his mother again if you take him. That can't be too much to ask for.


	17. Chapter 17

January 27, 2138 (Morning)

Another day of functioning on very little sleep. Great. For once it would be nice if there weren't so many things to think about and try to sleep at the same time.

Last night Dad wanted to have a meeting with as many of us as he could. It kind of surprised me that he wanted me and Tommy in on it as well as the other adults. Mom was already aware of what he wanted to talk about and stayed outside to walk the perimeter as Sarah stayed in Tad's room. The rest of us sat in. Dad began to speak.

He said, "Guys, I have a lot of things that I need to talk to all of you about. Some of it should have been said a long time ago I imagine. Others need to be said now." Looking at Tommy and me he went on saying, "The reason you two are here is because you're the oldest and you need to know what I have to say. But it's also because you're the strongest willed of all of the kids. What I mean by that is that the things I'm going to tell you can't go beyond these walls. No matter what, none of our enemies can know of what I have to say to you right now. You can't allow yourselves to be captured with the information I'm going to tell you. Neither can I. What I'm saying is that you have to know that you can set aside your feelings for each other and do what must be done for the good of humanity. You're our kids and we love you. But in the overall scheme of things it isn't significant in comparison to stopping the biodreads and their dominance of this world. Because of this you can't allow yourselves to let how you feel about anyone else here keep you from stopping the information that I need to tell you from getting into the hands of our enemies. Do you understand what I'm saying to you?"

Tommy spoke up and said, "Yes, but if you're telling me that I might have to kill any one of you to keep the machines from digging in your head I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to kill my own father, or Amber or anyone else here."

Kim looked on in silence as did Karl.

I spoke up and said, "Dad, you can't ask me to hurt one of us. I can't. I'm not going to."

Dad replied, "I thought you would say that, which brings me to my point. If you stay in this room you're going to have to agree to kill yourself before you allow yourself to be captured with my information, and before you force anyone else in our group to have to make that choice for you if you get captured. If you love or care about the person next to you, then you won't leave them to have to make the choice of stopping you from being taken by the machines and the information that you will have. I won't be able to aim a laser at you and fire either Amber, and I know that you won't do it to me either. But if I'm forced into a situation where I'll have to go out fighting, kill myself and the information that I carry, or allow myself to be captured with it I'll take one of the first two choices. You all have to be willing to do the same or you need to get up now and leave."

I don't think any of us wanted to think about the heavy choices he presented to us, but I knew that what he had to say was important and he needed someone else to know for whatever reasons. Before I could speak up again, Kim spoke herself and said, "David, I think all of us would do as you ask. Knowing that we're sacrificing ourselves for any one of the rest of us would be enough. If not Karl's son wouldn't be in the situation he's in right now."

After looking around at all of us and us either stating our agreement to stay and hear him out or us nodding and waiting, Dad spoke again saying, "Fine. First I want to go over what I've been working on for a long time now." Dad pulled out the microcomp and displayed it to us. He sat it down and continued on saying, "This doesn't look like it, but it's a weapon. Actually, you could say that it's bit of a suicide weapon."

I couldn't remain silent at hearing this comment and thinking of what it might be for. So I blurted out a hasty, "What?"

"You heard me," Dad went on. "It's a functional computer that I've fitted with a dormant virus. The virus itself is simply a command that can't complete itself. The only problem with the device is that I need to attach something to it that will emit the virus when the time comes."

"What time?" Kim asked.

"The time it gets digitized," he replied.

All of us looked like we were in various states of confusion. And all of us seemed to come up with the same questions at the same time regarding what he was saying. How was he planning to get the machine digitized so that it could emit the virus in the first place and how would it work?

Dad continued saying, "The thing about digitization is that the device changes what it's digitizing into data. The information that's inside of the microcomp is already data. It won't need to change it in any way to absorb it. I believe that the digitization process won't affect the virus itself and it will remain as it is. As an unaltered virus that's opened and running at the time of digitization."

Kim spoke up again saying, "And you think that when the digitizer gets dumped and emptied it will dump your running viral program along with anything and everyone else it has with it into its storage space? What will that do and how is this supposed to happen? The dreads won't just walk upon a device left on the ground and choose to digitize it."

"Yes to your first question. To the second, hopefully it will either shut down their command and control source or shut down Overmind itself should it get taken that far. That would be the better goal to reach," Dad replied.

Kim asked again, "How do we get the device digitized David?"

"I don't know yet. I don't know how to fool them into digitizing the virus without getting them to digitize someone along with it," he replied.

Everyone sat in silence on that note. We were at a dead end with no solutions for this one, until Kim spoke up again saying, "I'll do it. Get it finished and I'll get them to take it."

I knew what she meant and said, "No, Kim. You can't do this. You've done too much for us to let you throw your life away like this."

Kim interrupted me and said, "It's my duty. It's what I do, Amber. Furthermore, I have less to lose if I die in the process. I have nobody left waiting for me anywhere. Everyone here does. I don't. It's just simple math and besides, it's my job."

Tommy chimed in with me and said, "No. We've lost enough already. We're not losing you too."

I added, "You have us."

"That's why I'll do this. For all of you and everyone else. For Carrie and Mark, and your mother, Tommy," she went on.

"No," Dad interrupted. "Either I'll do it or I'll find another way. It's my responsibility."

"Dad, no. There has to be some other way," I told Dad.

"There's not and that's why I'll take the virus to them," Kim said.

Tommy started to argue with Kim and Dad shouted, "Stop. All of you. Watching you all argue isn't the reason that I brought you here. Besides, we have more pressing matters to worry about. Besides the fiasco that happened two days ago, the thing that drew us all out of the zoo for it to happen to begin with was some kind of a dread hovercraft patrolling the waters along the bank. They're looking for us and must think that we're around here. We have to assume that they found Amber's blood in the church a mile or two from here and that they think that we couldn't travel with her that far. In one way they're right if they think that. Although she's better, Tad is worse. We're in the same situation as we were back then. Unless they figure that enough time has passed that either she didn't make it or that she would have healed enough by now to have fled the area. That they're too late to find anyone around here. Either way, we have to assume the worst and expect them to keep looking for us until they find us here."

Karl started speaking and said, "What are we going to do then? Fortify this place? There's not a lot more that we can do with it. And I'm not leaving my son here to the machines if they come. If he doesn't move from here, I won't either."

Tommy added, "Neither will I. So maybe you should give the virus to us in case…" and was cut off by the sound of a yelling voice. It was Sarah, yelling at the top of her lungs that Tad was awake.

All of us ran out of the lounge and went to him. He looked so fragile and pale as he looked around at us all like he was trying to find the one of us that he wanted to talk to. Then he looked at me and paused for a second. Then he grinned at me and asked, "We did it? We got rid of him?" I tried to get past all of my shock at him being awake again and that he was smiling, which he hadn't really done in all of the years since losing his mother. Stuck in time for that moment and starting to lose my ability to speak because of my emotions, Kim spoke up for me and said, "Yes, Tad. You both did it. Everything is fine now."

Kim left the room afterwards. I assumed that she went out to get Mom and take her place so that she could come to see Tad too. She came in a minute after Kimberly left, in tears like the rest of us. It was hard to talk to him at all. What with everyone wanting to talk to him at the same time and all of the emotional breakdown in the room. I felt the need to let the others talk to him while I stepped outside. I could see Kim walking the perimeter of the zoo like I thought she would be.

As she walked out of view I remembered my agreement. I looked to the sky and said, "God, I keep my word. I'll keep my end as soon as you expect me to. Thank you for hearing me. I'll hear you too, when you call me. Just like I promised you."


	18. Chapter 18

January 27, 2138 (Afternoon)

It's great that Tad woke up, but he apparently isn't out of the woods yet. He needs to eat and he's having problems doing that. We don't have a way of giving him intravenous nutrients. He seems to be having a hard time staying awake for very long and the way that he's acting is strange. At first I thought it was all a good thing. He was smiling a little and talking. But it isn't that he's talking that's the problem. It's what he's saying. I didn't even catch it at first, but the first things out of his mouth were that he didn't remember what had happened. I blew it off as though it was because his head was under the water and he couldn't know. Then I could tell that he couldn't remember several things that he should have. Then when he wanted us to move in closer and started squinting I knew there was something more. He's not seeing correctly and there isn't a superficial reason for it that we can see. Moving in closer like he wanted, I could look right into his eyes. Besides his paleness and the cuts and bruises around them I didn't see anything wrong with them. Yet he can't seem to see properly out of them. I hope it's temporary.

After leaving Tad this morning, Tommy and I went off to patrol the trail. As we walked together and I looked off to the side and through the woods, it all brought back what had taken place a couple of days ago. I wasn't left with that much time to think about it, though. There were other things that needed to be talked about. Tommy wanted to talk about them too.

Once he felt like we were far enough away to speak without anyone hearing us, he said, "Amber, we have to do something. I respect your dad and all, but I can't agree with letting someone take his virus and give themselves over to the machines to activate it. I'm tired of the pain and losing people. Watching people suffer. Watching people rush off, knowing that they're rushing off to suffer more. There has to be a way to give them the virus without throwing one of us to them to do it."

"I want it all to stop too, but I don't know what to do. There's this part of me that wants to take it myself and use it on them," I replied.

"I know. I want to also. Every time I look at Tad and know that if the city were free of the machines that we might be able to just walk him into any one of the hospitals and get him help, I want to. Each time Mom gets brought up or I think about her, I want to take it and use it on them. Every time I think about you in the church…," Tommy said.

"Every time that you walk away and leave me to think that this will be the last time that I get to see you. Each time I look at little Alan. Each time I see Sarah crying, and your dad. He tries to hide it well, but I see. I just don't want any of you to hurt anymore," I told Tommy.

Tommy replied, "You see? That's how I feel too. I don't want to lose anyone else. And both your father and Kimberly are determined to use it themselves. I can't stand back and watch Dave do it and watch you lose your father. But I can't let Kimberly do it either. She saved my brother's life. She might have saved you and Sarah too. We all owe her so much that I can't think of a way to repay her, besides finding another way to keep her from using the virus. But she's acting like she has no reason to not be the one to use it, as though she has nothing to live for. She's like Tad in a way, but focused. Maybe it's her ice queen look, but I don't know if she can be stopped from doing anything that she becomes determined to do."

"Maybe I can talk to her and find a way to make her see something worth living for," I said back to Tommy.

"Maybe. I don't know, though. She seems too focused on what needs to be done rather than anything very personal," Tommy said back to me.

"I think I can at least get her to stop and talk to me. I know that under her focused look is a feeling person. It's just finding something that's still here that she has left to care about," I said.

Tommy replied, "I hope that you can. And I'm not trying to be negative here or doubt what you want to do, but I just don't it working. Whether it works with her or not, she's not the only issue. Your Dad is as well and I can't possibly think of a way to convince him not to use the virus himself. He made it and I'm sure he's not going to allow anyone else to use it besides himself if he can stop it. I might have a way to change things, though."

"How," I asked.

Tommy said, "It's going to sound kind of stupid, and there are so many things that could make my idea fall apart that the list seems endless. But regardless of how stupid it sounds, it's the only thing that I can think of and I want you to take it seriously. Because I'm going to need you to help me if we even want to try it."

"All right. I'm open to anything right now and I can't think of what to do either. At least you have an idea. What is it," I asked.

Tommy went on, "Bear with me then. It's complicated. When we used to live here I could remember some of the things about the city. I was around then too. All around the city are businesses of all kinds. I can remember passing them as we went from one place to another. The small hospital isn't the only thing located on the side of the city that we're closest to, but the other businesses except for the college are farther into the city. The college is actually farther away from the city than the hospital is, being off to the South. Except for some great shelter due to the many buildings that might be there, the college has little to offer. If it's even still around and the machines haven't leveled it by now. However, a little farther into the city there are malls and venues that used to sell things that could be useful to us."

"You're right. This is complicated. What things are you talking about," I asked.

Tommy continued, "Communication devices, clothes, dry foods, more medicine…"

I replied, "Tommy, I don't understand. What else is there and what's your point?"

"Hunting lasers, mannequins," he replied.

"What? Mann…? Oh, wait a minute. You can't be serious, Tommy," I said back to him.

"I told you that I was and I told you that it would sound stupid. At first I though it was too and felt like I was really reaching here. Trust me. I know how it sounds at first. I do, but it's all that I can come up with. Can you honestly say that you can think of anything better right now," he asked me.

"Where did you come up with this," I asked him.

Tommy replied, "Oddly enough I came up with it from Mom. She used to take me shopping with her and I would see them all of the time. Then I remembered one time when she took me to a museum afterwards and showed my how they used to have old mannequins that weren't animated at all. One-hundred years ago or so they were just these life sized figures that were posed and didn't move at all. They were nothing like they are now. They look more real and move like you or I, and they can be programmed to move a certain way. Well, at least they can be programmed to move a certain pattern of ways and then they will start all over again. Some of them have a remote control device that can be used to control them to get them to move as the user wants while they control them. I'm not sure of the distance that the remote ones will work from, but the point is still the same. If we could get one and fool the dreads into digitizing it with the virus our problems would be solved."

"Tommy, you know that I love you and all. But this sounds so complicated that I don't see how it can possibly work. How do you plan on getting one and getting the adults to go along with it," I said.

"I don't plan on getting the adults to go along with it. Well, not all of it. If you think about it though, I think that you can see some benefits to getting the other things that I mentioned if we can get to that area of the city. I think that your father can too if I talk to him. If not and we have to, maybe I can play the Tad card on him and get him to see a reason to go there and retrieve some things," he came back with.

What he was saying bothered me a little, and I said, "I don't like using Tad's condition as a tool to manipulate the adults. Especially Dad. There are still things wrong with Tad and I'm worried about him. This doesn't feel right."

"It isn't right, but neither is allowing one of the others to walk into what could be their doom. The only way this is going to work is if we make them see that there's some kind of a need to go on this venture. Wanting the things that I mentioned and needing them are two different things and the adults won't be convinced to go for them unless they see a need to. If we can convince them that it's needed somehow, it's just a matter of one of us being able to break off long enough to break one down and take it back with us," he said back to me.

"It better break down pretty small if you intend to carry it back here and not let them know of it," I told him.

"They do. We just have to get the adults convinced that we need to go there. You and I can take care of the rest. If not, what other choice is there," he asked.

As lame as the plan sounded, I couldn't think of another option. As I stood there trying to think of one he spoke up again saying, "There isn't one. It's all that we have and I'd rather do it than nothing. Even if it doesn't work we can know that we tried. And I would rather look stupid and lose someone's trust than watch them sacrifice themselves for their idea that might not work any better than ours. So you go see what you can do with Kimberly and I'll see what I can manage with your father. Agreed?"

"All right. I'll see what I can do, but I don't like this. I want your plan to work, but I don't like playing around with someone's feelings to get something done," I told Tommy.

"I don't either, and I don't want to do this any more than you do. I like Kim, and your father is like a second father to me. With him around it's like I have two instead of one. I feel like he respects and trusts me. I don't ever want to lose that but it's less important than losing him or her. Or anyone else for that matter. If we had another choice I wouldn't think about doing this myself, but there isn't one," he said back to me.

January 27, 2138 (Evening)

We had supper in the lounge earlier. Tommy and I ate slowly and basically stalked the person we wanted to get alone with. Trying not to be obvious was the hard part. Dad and Kim aren't stupid and we couldn't let them have any hint that we were up to something. Kim was easy to get with since she planned on spending time in the tree stand where Tad usually was. Dad was going to patrol the trail with Karl. Tommy better either wait or be really good to make his end work without giving himself away to his father. If Dad didn't catch on to something it was likely that Karl would.

I walked up to the tree stand as Kim was there, looking towards the power plant. Before I got the chance to speak she spoke to me first.

She said, "Hi, honey. I'm sorry that you couldn't come with us the other night. We lit that sucker up like a candle."

"I noticed. It was quite a display from where you're sitting," I said back.

"I wanted to take you too, but you understand why I had to leave you here, right," she asked.

"Yes, I understand. You needed to be fast and I wasn't fast enough then. It's cool," I told her back.

"Karl told me about your previous injury. He's right, you know? You need to allow yourself some time to heal because nobody can see inside of you right now. Since I've met you, you've been throwing yourself into a lot of scrapes that you probably shouldn't have been in. And it hasn't been that long ago that it all happened to you from what I understand. You have to take care of yourself," she said to me.

"So do you," I said.

Kim looked at me as though she was puzzled by what I was saying, and said, "You say that like you think that I'm not."

"Are you? Because if you are I'm wondering why you haven't talked about yourself and how you feel about things much. You know, you live in this world too? An important man once told me that I'm important. Well, so are you," I told her. At this point I started to climb up the tree stand to join her for a while as she responded to what I had said.

"An important man, huh? And who might that be," she replied as I climbed to the top.

"Well, important to me. It was Karl. And why do you do that," I asked.

She replied, "What?"

"Go on talking about anything that you can to keep from talking about you. Why won't you let anyone else in," I asked.

"Maybe because it isn't a good place to be in. And maybe because it might hurt more than help anyone. And maybe because it's just hard for me to do," she said back to me.

"I'm not trying to pry. It's just that you've helped us so much and giving you a friend is the only way that I can think of to pay you back for what you've done for us. I just want you to know that there's someone here for you to talk to also. Besides, it makes it easier for me to talk to you too," I said back to her.

"All right, Amber. I'll answer you one thing that you ask of me. After this I would prefer to come to you with what I have to say on my own," she replied.

"You're sure? You don't know what I'm going to ask. It could be anything. It could be your darkest secret. Something you wouldn't even repeat to yourself," I teased as I was trying to put her at ease.

"I'll give you that one for free. My darkest moment is always when I have to kill someone," she replied. I wasn't quite ready for that kind of a reply and I had to recover my thoughts quickly to keep from losing the moment.

"Yeah, I guess it would be. I wish it didn't have to be that way, Kim," I said back.

"Me too, baby. Me too. But it's not and things aren't that easy. So? What is it that you want me to tell you about," she asked.

"What happened to you? I mean, what really happened that hurt you like you have been. Because all of us see what you want us to see. A stronger woman than we've ever seen before. I mean, when I think of who would rival Dad as far as strength and willpower goes Karl isn't the one that comes to my mind first. It's you. But it's like you have this scar that you hide with this strength too. Was it this Mark that you told me about? Because if it is and you want to tell me about it, I'll listen to you," I asked.

"You're asking for a lot," she replied.

Not letting her change the tone back to being comical again I spoke back to her and said, "Please tell me. I won't share it with anyone if you don't want me to."

"I don't want you to take the wrong message from what I tell you if I do. So you have to hear me out, ok? And I would rather that it stay between us for now," she said.

"I promise I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to," I answered.

"When I was young like you I graduated from school and went into the military. During my time in school I had a boyfriend. Mark. He also graduated and went into the military. Life wasn't a picnic for me when I was younger and he was there for me. My parents were divorced when I was little and Mom and her friend had this habit of picking up the next best things at the local bar. I just figured it was one of another in a long line of boyfriends she would have and tried to go on with my life and ignore it. That's always how things happened in the past and Mom's friend lived with us, so it gave me a little sense of security. They would come and go, and she and her friend would replace them soon after. This time was different. The new boyfriends managed to get my mother hooked on some kind of a drug, and she was hospitalized. During this time her friend went to visit her in the hospital one day and she was there while I was getting out of school early. Mark drove me home and when we arrived we noticed that the door had been broken in. He told me to stay where I was and went running to the door. I couldn't stop him in time as he went in and he found one of the boyfriends there, robbing us since nobody was there to stop them. Mark caught him off guard and was beating the hell out of him, but he didn't know about the other one in the back of the house. He snuck up behind Mark and attacked him to help his friend get free. In the end the second one had cut Mark with a knife and opened a vein in his wrist. He came out on the front porch and his arm was covered in blood. He fell down in front of me and I held him there until help came. It was then that I realized how much I loved him. When you think you're going to lose someone is when it pores out of you," she said.

"I know," I said back to her.

"I know you do. You and Tommy remind me of Mark and me when we were young. Anyway, you allow yourself to get closer than normal when life is bad. And it wasn't good ever, except for when we were together. I thought I was going to lose him right there, and after that and he was safe we went on living like there was no tomorrow. Loving like there was no tomorrow too. We made all of these plans and promised each other so many things. Promises that you never thought that you would be kept from keeping. This is how life is when you make your promises, and then life changes and it takes people away from you while your promises remain there waiting to be kept," she went on as she started to cry.

I reached out and took her hand and said, "We can stop now. I'm sorry, Kim. I didn't want to bring this back up for you."

"No. You agreed to hear me out, and I want you to. I don't want you left thinking that my life is something to learn a lesson from. It's not. It's just that we were so young and let ourselves fall so in love because of our circumstances that we were living most of our lives for tomorrow and not for today. To be responsible in your life you have to think about tomorrow. My mother didn't and she paid for it in the end. But I didn't know that tomorrow there was going to be this war and he was going to fly off one day, and never come home to me. The uniformed soldiers came to me in my barracks and told me he was gone, and I wanted to die. I didn't know how to live without him because he was the only good thing that I had in my life. I promised him we would get married and have this wonderful life. That there would only be him for me. That I would wait for him. Now he's gone and I'm left with all of these promises that I made to him that I can't keep for him. And I didn't know what to do. I guess I was a little like my mother was and turned to some of her habits. Trying to forget about today and thinking it would pass away. It didn't. It just came back again tomorrow and he was still gone. Until I met Carrie and she helped me through some of my issues," she said.

"You deserve to be happy too, Kim. If he were here right now do you think he would want you to be sad and living your life feeling like there's no hope? Wouldn't he want you to find something or someone to make you happy? If he knew that he wouldn't be able to see you again back then, I think he would have told you this himself. And I think you would have told him the same thing if you could have known. You couldn't have known and you didn't do anything wrong. You just gave him someone to love while he was here. That doesn't mean that you have to live the rest of your days alone and regretting the promises that you made back then. If he could be here with you, you would keep them. He can't, and he wouldn't want you to waste the rest of your days trying to," I told her. I really didn't know what else to say to her and that was the first things that came to my mind.

"Carrie said pretty much the same thing to me. I heard her and here I am. But it hurts and I miss him every day. So, don't worry so much about what you're going to do in life tomorrow that you forget about what you're doing today. Don't wait for tomorrow to do things that you need to do today. Tomorrow can be farther away than you think. And it might not ever come if you wait for too long to do the things you should be doing now. Don't become like me, "she said.

"What? Don't become a strong, courageous woman like you that fights back her demons and doesn't give up," I asked.

"I did give up. Once," she went on.

"When you were alone and thought that you had nobody to turn to. Now you do. If you let me I'll be there for you. The rest of us will be too. You know, Karl could shed some tears with you like you wouldn't believe. You know, his wife Gina is gone too. She has been for years and he hurts every day too. He needs someone to talk to about it once in a while, like you might. He tries to close it all off inside of him so that he can be strong for the boys, which he does well. But you're not alone and it might be good for him to hear that he isn't either," I told her.

"Really? Was she pretty," she asked trying to change the subject again.

"Hell yeah, she was. How do you think her sons got so good looking?"


	19. Chapter 19

January 28, 2138 (Afternoon)

I woke up this morning and thought that I should try to meet Tommy earlier in the day and compare notes. I didn't feel right about what I was doing last night and didn't know whether I had even accomplished anything after I talked to Kim except for maybe hurting her more than she already was. And I was curious if he had managed to do anything positive with Dad last night.

We met in the lounge, but his news wasn't that great either. Neither of us were in a hurry to share what we had to say with each other, but I went first as Tommy asked me how it went last night.

"I think that all that I did was tore open this wound for her that she's been trying to heal for years, and I don't know if I accomplished anything that we set out to do. I might have a little, but it depends on if she feels any closer to me than before. But in the end all that I felt like I was doing was hurting her and she doesn't deserve it," I said to Tommy.

Tommy replied, "What happened?"

"Let's just say that she's had a really hard life even before the war. Harder than you might think and it's following her everywhere that she goes. All of the while that she sat there opening up to me I felt wrong in asking her to. You should have seen her. It's like life has no meaning for her anymore. When she was through talking to me all I wanted to do was take it all away for her. I can understand why she wants to be the one that uses the virus on the dreads," I said back to him.

Tommy looked at me and said, "It's really that bad?"

"Yes. And I don't know if she can find a way past it all," I said.

"At least she wants to. That's something. We can just try to be her friends and maybe she'll let us help her through whatever it is," Tommy replied.

"It's everything, Tommy. I don't know if anyone can help her," I said. Trying to change the subject and feed my curiosity at the same time, I asked him, "What about you? How did it go with your father and mine?"

"Not very well I'm afraid. My dad made Dave aware of something that I hadn't thought of before. The college might have a lot of computer equipment just waiting to be had. If it hasn't been destroyed, that is. According to Dad there's the college itself and all of the buildings for that. Then there are dorms located about a half-mile to the North of the campus, and right past them is another large school of medicine. The only thing that might favor us is that your dad thinks that the college would have been too large of a target for the biodreads to pass up. Especially with the dorms located between the two schools. Unless the resistance might have stopped them from getting that far he thinks that the school has probably already been destroyed. If not, we're not going to convince them to go into the city before going to the school. There's no way to pitch it to them in such a way to make it make more sense to do as opposed to going to the school," he replied.

"What are we going to do? If they choose the school and end up finding what Dad needs there, we'll never get to even try your plan. But we can't sabotage what he's trying to do either," I told Tommy.

"We have to hope that the school doesn't have what he's looking for. If it does, we're stuck. There won't be anything more that we can do," Tommy replied.

Just then Kim came walking into the lounge. She said, "Hi guys. Are you doing all right?" Her back was turned to us as she was getting something to drink before going back out in the cold, and Tommy gave me his cut throat symbol to keep me quiet as he started to speak to her. He said, "Yeah, we're good. And you?"

"I just need something to wake me up. I didn't really sleep that well. You know how it is," she said.

Feeling this need to help her after last night and knowing that her loss of sleep might be due to me, I spoke up without thinking and said, "Kim? Maybe if you go see Karl he might have something…"

"No," she replied as she turned to look at me directly. "It's all right. Another twenty minutes and I'll be fine," she went on. I could see Tommy looking at me in my peripheral vision as I wanted to tell her I was sorry, but I told her that I wouldn't let anyone else in on what we talked about and couldn't say it now, in front of him. God I can be so stupid sometimes.

Kim turned back to getting her drink and Tommy spoke up again saying, "Kim, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's up," she asked.

"Dad and Dave were talking with me last night and they came up with an idea. Do you remember the college out here? They think that there might be some computer equipment out there that we could get if we go there," he replied.

"They're a little late for that," she replied.

"What do you mean," Tommy asked.

Kim said, "The college is gone, Tommy. That whole area was attacked from the beginning and leveled by air strikes from Phantom Strikers. There's not a building out there still standing. It's all gone. If they think we can get anything from there, they both need to think it over again."

Trying to hide a slight grin, Tommy went on saying, "They're not going to want to hear that news. Dave apparently needs something for his device and he thought he might get it there."

Kim said, "Well, I might as well go sink their ship now. There's nothing there to get. He'll have to think of something else."

"I guess so," Tommy went on as she left the room.

We looked at each other and Tommy seemed happier about this information than I did. He must have seen the look in my face and he said, "What? Isn't this what we wanted?"

"I feel like I'm betraying Dad and everyone else here by being happy that the easier solution is gone," I said back to Tommy.

"Funny, I feel like we're saving one of them from dying for us," he replied. I couldn't say anything else to win this one. He was right, but it didn't make me feel any better about it anyway. Then he went on saying, "I'll give her an hour or so. Then I'll drop my revelation on them and try to get them to go for it. Maybe if you meet up with me at three o'clock by the tree stand we can approach Dave and Dad together with it."

"All right," I said back to him as he got up from the table. He kissed my forehead and said, "I love you." Then he picked up his laser and started for the door and I said, "Love you too."

January 28, 2138 (Evening)

Kim had gotten to Dad earlier with the bad news. He wasn't very amused but at least we hadn't made a trip there and risked ourselves just to find rubble everywhere and nothing worth going for. Once I met Tommy and we approached them we wasted little time getting to the point. Tommy dished it out there so thick that it was hard to keep myself from laughing at him. Thinking of the alternative straightened my smile. I don't know that Dad's going for it though. He admits that what he's looking for is likely to be there, but he thinks it's more dangerous for us than the hospital was. And look where that got us.

The problem is how to get there and get back. One bridge is out of the question. The power plant we attacked is practically right across from it. The other one is far enough away from the hospital to cross again, but then we have to bypass the hospital and stay far enough away from it to not get spotted. Yet we can't get to close to the area of the power plant either if we take a path between the two. The other option of taking a path around the hospital is not going to work well enough. It's too open and there's nothing to hide us except for fields of weeds and such. If we got caught out there in the open we'd be done for. There's nothing that anyone could even call cover out there from what I'm told.

Waiting to see if Dad would accept our idea was going to take a while, so I looked in on Tad. Sarah was there with him and looked like she was about to leave when I walked in. She was hugging him as I walked in and told him that she would be back in a few hours after she scouted the trail with Dad. As she was hugging him he turned his head and gave her a peck on the cheek. Like I couldn't see that one coming someday. Still, I was a little surprised at actually seeing it for myself. I shouldn't have been. What was more surprising was when Sarah turned to me and said, "Hey. Look after him for a while for me, will you? He tends to get himself into trouble," like nothing had happened between the two of them that she should be embarrassed about at all. It was like she didn't care if the world knew that they were taking their friendship farther. As she approached me I gave her a short hug and she went out the door. It threw me off a little thinking about how she was growing up so fast. I hadn't thought much about the changes we've gone through over the last few months until this. Seeing her growing taller and her long, auburn hair hanging across the armor that Tommy made for her really painted a new picture for me. She was more than some little girl anymore. He wasn't some little boy any longer either.

I approached Tad after she left and I could see him squinting to see me a little. It reminded me of just how hurt he was when it was easy to forget with the way he was acting with Sarah there. Before he could speak I said, "It's me, Tad. Amber."

He said, "I know," as though he was trying to hide his vision problem from me.

Rather than carry on with the pointlessness of him thinking that I didn't know, I spoke up and said, "You couldn't really see me when I came in, could you?" He kept looking at me and didn't say anything and I went on saying, "It's all right, I know. You don't have to hide it from me. I want to know how you feel. Does it hurt?"

"I have headaches. They don't really go away and they make me feel a little sick once in a while," he replied.

"I asked, "And your vision?"

"It just gets blurry sometimes. It comes and goes," he said as he looked to the side for a moment.

"Is that all there is to it," I asked him.

"Yeah. Dad thinks I have a concussion and he thinks all of this will be temporary if I do what he says. Which basically means that I have to stay here like some useless sack of garbage while everyone else is doing all of the work. What a bunch of crap that is, huh? Whatever," he went on.

"Just give it a little time and you'll be back out there too," I told him.

"Amber? What if we don't have that much time? Do you remember the hovercraft that was looking for us? If we get found here and I can't leave…," Tad continued.

"It's not going to happen. They haven't found us and they're not going to," I reassured him.

"I want you to leave me here if they do. You have to get away and forget about me. Take Sarah and run from here," he went on.

The flashback I was having at this comment was too real and I said, "No, Tad. I won't leave you behind no matter what you say to me and neither will any of the rest of us."

"Don't let Sarah die here with me," he said back to me as a chill ran down my spine.

"Damn you, Tad. You're not playing this game with me. Don't think because you use what I say against me that I'll run off and leave you helpless here. I won't," I said back, angry that he'd been smart enough to come back at me with my own words.

"I'm not playing a game with you, Amber. Please, leave me. Please don't let what we did for Sarah be in vain," he pleaded with me. I had to turn this around somehow because he was beating my arguments at every turn.

I said, "Tad. I thought the same things that you are when we were hiding in the church. That the machines would find us any minute now and I knew I couldn't move. I also knew that Tommy and Sarah wouldn't leave me no matter what I told them. And I tried to get them to leave, believe me. I thank God that it was Dad and not them that found us. But I know that they stayed because they love me. It's no different now. Even if I wanted to, there's nothing on Earth that I could say that would get Sarah to leave you here. God, Tad. Do I have to spell it out for you? She loves you."

He stared at me without any words to say for a second, and finally said, "I love her too. That's why I'm asking you to do this. If I slow you down or can't keep up, you have to go on and get her out of here."

"I said no. That's the end of it. I'm not letting you talk me into something that would cause my sister to disown me over. And Tommy too, for that matter. We all love you and none of us are leaving here without you," I said back as harshly as I could as I was trying to hide how much I understood what he was saying to me.

Tad looked off to the side again, and then down as he went on saying, "Hey? Will you not make a big deal out of me and Sarah to anybody else? I don't want to weird out our parents or anything. You know?"

"Yeah, I know. Believe me. Which brings me to something I should have said to you a long time ago. I know things were messed up for you before. And I'm sorry. But after a while I started to doubt in you. I didn't know if you were going to really come back to us. And you scared me sometimes. But I was wrong. You really are good for her, Tad. I'm sorry for ever thinking otherwise," I said back to him.

He kept staring at me as he said, "I'd be crying right now but I'm kind of cried out. Besides, it makes my vision blurry."

Both of us started laughing at his ironic comment for a minute. Then I gave him a hug and put my hand on his shoulder as I said, "You really wouldn't expect your sister to leave you here in some zoo, would you? Just because you act like some kind of trained monkey…"

On that note he threw his pillow at me. I tossed it back to him as I went out the door.


	20. Chapter 20

January 29, 2138 (Morning)

Finally had a good nights sleep. Which is good because tonight is my night to stay up on watch. Oh joy. Another cold night with the temperature being lower than it is in the evening. Oh well. It's my turn.

Things were a little different this morning. I went to the lounge and found Sarah there by herself. It's been a long time since her and I have had some time to just be sisters and talk. It had been so long that it felt strange and I didn't know how to start talking to her at first. So I decided that maybe I should remind her that there wasn't that much talk that was really that necessary between us. So, as she sat there I came behind her and gave her a hug. Then I started talking to her first.

"I'm happy for you," I said to her.

"I'm happy for both of us," she said back.

"Yeah, me too. But you'll have to excuse me if I'm not used to you being so grown up yet. I'm trying, but it's going to take me a while," I said.

"Me? Have you looked in the mirror lately? I haven't got anything on you," she replied.

"No, I haven't looked in the mirror lately because I've been too busy breaking them," I said back to her. Thinking of it as a joke I hadn't realized what saying what I had meant to her and she went silent on me. Then it hit me that I just reminded her of what Cane had done, not gave her something to laugh about. I looked back at her and she started wiping her eyes as I said, "Sarah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. I was trying to be funny. I'm sorry."

Even after saying this she couldn't seem to say anything as she sat there trying to hold it all in. I felt like I had cut her with this huge knife as she sat there falling apart, and all that I could do is hold her and keep telling her that it's all right. As I was doing this Kim walked in and caught on right away that something was very wrong with Sarah, and she came over and started trying to help me calm her down.

"Hey, what's this about? Why are you crying, Sarah? I thought things were better now," she said to her as I kept holding her.

"It's everything," she finally got out.

Trying to alleviate how she was feeling, Kim said, "Could you be a bit more specific about some of what everything actually is? Because I'm pretty sure that Amber didn't cause all of this, did she?"

"I think it has something to do with Cane," I told Kim.

Kim looked at me and then back to Sarah and asked her, "What about him?"

"I keep seeing him. In my sleep. I feel like he's around every corner. Hiding in the trees. And I can't get away from him," she said as she kept crying. I had no idea that she had been holding all of this in all of this time. Kim glanced back at me for a second as though she were giving me an opportunity to chime in, then she took over again.

"Baby, he's gone. He's not coming back, ever," she said as she took Sarah's hand in her own and looked her in the eyes as she said it.

"I know that I'm being crazy, but it feels like he's everywhere. Waiting to hurt me. And you and Tad. I'll lead him back to you and he'll hurt you too. And it'll be my fault," she cried.

"He can't come back, Sarah. He's dead. There is no coming back for him again, "I said trying to reassure her.

Kim had picked up on more of what she had said than I had and started talking to her again, saying, "What he did isn't your fault, Sarah. You didn't do anything wrong. Did you ask him to be fixated on you? No, you didn't. You didn't even talk to him. There's nothing that you did to ask for or deserve what Cane did to you. You have to know that."

"Maybe I did something wrong. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to…," Sarah said as she lost the words to finish.

"Tried to what, Sarah? Look pretty? Maybe you shouldn't have brushed your hair that morning? Maybe you should have walked differently? Looked differently? Tried to look unattractive so that he wouldn't have been tempted by you? Sarah, what do you think we're all fighting against here? We're fighting against those that would take our freedoms away. Cane is no different in that respect than the biodreads. He wanted to control you like the machines do. It wasn't because you chose to get up one morning and look good for the day. And you weren't the first girl that he tried to control. You were just the last. Don't you see? You have every right to look and feel the way that you want to without having to tolerate someone trying to hurt you for it like you're asking for it. You're not," she said as Sarah quieted down some.

"But Tad is hurt because of…," Sarah said as Kim cut her off in the middle of her sentence.

"Because of Cane, Sarah. Not you. And Cane is dead for one reason. Because of Cane, and nothing else," Kim said with conviction.

"He's gone, Sarah. I promise you. He's gone for good," I said trying to support what Kim was doing.

"What about Tad? What if he dies," she asked as she started crying again as it seemed like everything that could possibly be wrong was for her.

"He's not going to die. He's fine. He just needs to rest for a while and he'll be all right, "I said as Kim threw in with me and said, "Sarah, we're all ok. He will be too. I promise."

We both held her as she cried for what seemed like hours.

January 29, 2138 (Evening)

I still couldn't believe that I had been so blind to the needs of my own sister. I still can't believe how I could have missed all of the hopelessness she was hiding from us and not known. Maybe I let myself get too tied up in Tommy's plan and making it work that I wasn't paying enough attention to her to notice.

Speaking of Tommy he came to my room this evening. He told me that Dad has reluctantly agreed that the idea Tommy has is good enough to try, but he has to work out the details of it all. He asked me about Sarah too. Kim must have mentioned her breakdown this morning to him and he seems concerned for her. He asked me if I wanted him to try to talk to her about it all, but I thought that maybe we should give her some room and not keep bringing it up to her. I hope that what we said will get through to her. She has to stop letting what Cane did hurt her and scare her like he's still here. He's not and never will be again. I don't know. Maybe if I hadn't seen Kim kill him with my own eyes I wouldn't believe that he was gone either. Still, she has to come out of this. Maybe if Tad starts improving more she'll be able to get beyond it. Until then I'll have to keep more of an eye on her.

If not for what happened with Sarah this morning I would have been able to apologize to Kim for my stupidity yesterday. I still need to tell her that I'm sorry. It'll have to wait until tomorrow though. I have to get ready for my shift tonight and I want to see little Alan for a while before he falls asleep. I just want to see something good out of today instead of looking at how bad everything can be.


	21. Chapter 21

January 30, 2138 (Noon)

The night shift leaves a lot to be desired, but this morning made up for it a little. Anyone that's on the night shift gets to sleep in, which I did a little. And I guess while I was asleep Tommy sneaked in and left me a gift. He left a rose right next to me as I was sleeping. Who would have thought that someone that can be ripping apart a biodread for scrap one minute could be so romantic the next? I think his mom would be really proud of him if she was still here. I wish I could jump back in time and change that for him. Actually there are so many things that I wish I could change that I could never count them all. But even with all of the things that I would change if I could, I never want to lose this one moment. If I could bottle it up and save it forever, I would.

Speaking of bottled up I have to get with Sarah and see how she's doing. This blaming herself for everything that happens has to stop. First the bridge and then Cane. What else will happen that she'll blame herself for? The winter weather? The war? That's all right, I don't think I want to find out. I just need to focus on getting her irrational thoughts out of her head.

So, my agenda for the day needs to be made. Go kiss Tommy and thank him for the rose. Get with Kim and talk to her. Go kiss Tommy again. Then get with Sarah and talk to her. Maybe by then Tommy will be looking to kiss me instead. Check on Tad, Alan, and Dad and hope that he's come up with a plan for the mall. So, I'm off to get it done.

January 30, 2138 (Evening)

My agenda went to hell really fast. I went out to meet Tommy as he patrolled the trail. He didn't seem himself and I thought maybe he was just tired at first. So I dispensed with the kiss and appreciation for him and what he had done and moved on with business. I asked him if he was all right or if there was anything wrong.

"I'm fine. I'm just worried about Tad and your sister. And now your Mom," he said to me.

"Mom? What about her," I asked.

"She doesn't seem herself around me. I don't know how to explain it really. I went to see how she was doing and look in on Alan earlier and she seems so emotional. It's been this way for a while now, but I can tell almost every time that I see her that she's been crying. She looks really tired all of the time. And she's not making a lot of sense when she talks to me. It's like she wants to tell me something and doesn't know how to. Or can't bring herself to say whatever it might be," he said.

"With everything that's happened over the last week or so I can see her being kind of emotional. I don't know of any of us that haven't been. What with Cane attacking Sarah, Tad's injuries, Dad's plans for his virus, and her visions that seem to be out of control I can see her being tired and upset," I told Tommy.

"You might be right. Sometimes I just feel like it has to do with me. What are these visions you're talking about? I know that last one she had about your sister turned out to come true just like the one about Mom. Are you talking about that one," he asked me.

"Several days ago she said something to me about another one. She went on saying a lot of things that didn't make sense to me and I tried to hear through what she was saying, but I didn't understand. I finally had to tell her to just come out and tell me what was wrong," I said.

Tommy replied, "And? What was she seeing?

"Me. She saw me," I told him.

"You? Amber, what did she see," he asked me with a worried tone.

"Not much from what she finally told me. All that she said was that she could see me in some very cold and very dark place, and that she felt as though I had chosen to put myself in whatever that place was. It didn't make a lot of sense even after she told me and I figured that she must have been seeing me in the church," I answered.

"But she's never seen anything that's already happened. Everything that she sees always happens after she sees them," he went on as he seemed to be getting more frantic.

"I don't know what else it could be. I wouldn't put myself in a place like that and I don't even know what kind of a place it is," I told him.

"Maybe Karen can tell me more about what she's seeing," he said as he handed me his laser. "Here, I'll be back soon," he went on as he started running back to the zoo.

"Tommy, wait. Tommy," I yelled as he ran off towards the zoo.

After a long time of wondering what he was going to ask of Mom and how he was going to approach it, I gradually started to wonder if he was actually finding anything out from her. I've wondered why she was acting the way she was for a while now but haven't had the time to worry about going to her and asking when she didn't seem to be able to explain it well the last time anyway. That and I don't like seeing her upset. I wish she would take a few minutes and fine something to smile about, but I guess we're all guilty of seeing only the bad in everything and not the good.

After about 40 minutes or so Tommy returned and looked as confused as he had before he ran off. He apologized for running off and I asked him if he found out anything from Mom. Apparently he couldn't get much more out of her of what she had seen of me in her dream. Then he started saying that she wanted him to be careful as though she was worried about him. At first he thought she was just trying to change the subject so that he wouldn't worry about me, but he figured out quickly that there was more to it than what she was saying. Unlike most people that initially hear of her premonitions, Tommy has always believed in Mom and he's always told her that, which makes it harder for her to hide things from him. Maybe it's her appreciation for his belief in what she sees. I'm not sure, but whatever it is he's able to use it to get her to talk to him straight up most of the time. After a while of her hesitation to tell him more, he finally started to figure it out on his own. She'd had another dream, but not about me. It was about him. She had seen him in a windy place trying to keep a hold on something to keep from falling. Much like my own dream and now the roles were reversing on me as I got to worry about him now.

"We have to let this go for now and worry about the plan," he said to me as he tried to focus us again on what we had to do.

I couldn't just let it go though, and I said, "Maybe you should let me go on this one alone. I can take care of what we need."

"Amber, there needs to be at least two of us. We have to make this work because there won't be another opportunity at this. If you're the only one going along with them, what will you do if your dad or Kim wants you to be security while they gather up what they want to take? And how could we explain my not going along off. No, we need to be together on this," he said to me.

"What if I get Sarah to help us," I asked knowing that she would if she knew what we were doing.

"You can't. We can't tell her everything that she would want to know if we involve her in our plan. There's no way to explain to her what we want her to do and yet can't tell her anything about why we want her to do it without revealing things that your father doesn't want her to know. Besides, she has enough issues to worry about right now," Tommy replied.

"But she could really help us. And we might not have any choice anyway," I replied.

Tommy asked, "What do you mean?"

"We're down one person with Tad being hurt. Mom will have to stay here with little Alan most likely, and someone has to keep the zoo secure. That someone is likely to be one of us because of Sarah's emotional breakdown the other day. It might be both of us. Then what? If neither of us goes along our plan is ruined," I said.

"I figured that my dad would be the one to stay. That way he can secure the zoo and be here for Tad at the same time, and Dave would feel somewhat obligated to take us along since we came up with the idea in the first place," he said.

"Dad will do what he thinks has to be done regardless of who came up with the idea to begin with. If he thinks he needs Karl more than one of us, he'll take him instead," I said trying to get him to see what I was saying.

"Whatever we have to do to get what we're after is what we have to do. We have to avoid getting her involved, but if we have to involve her because your father insists on taking her instead of one of us, we will," he said back to me.

January 30, 2138 (Evening)

My head has been racing all day trying to find some solutions to our problems and the ones that might come up. It's overwhelming. I can't let anything happen to Tommy and I'm trying to get him not to go, yet he feels that he has to be there. He doesn't want to let anything happen to me and yet I have to be there. And all the while we have to get a mannequin from the mall with no help from anyone else and without letting Dad and Kim know of it. We needed help or this wasn't going to work. So Tommy and I went to Dad's meeting earlier to get the operation down and I had to find a way to get him to allow Sarah to go along.

During the meeting in the lounge Dad got into the part about which of us were going and which one's weren't right away. He had decided that he would take Kim, Tommy, and me and leave the rest here. This didn't bother Tommy and he stayed silent, but it wasn't what I had planned and I started speaking up.

I said, "Dad, I think we should take Sarah with us for this."

Kim looked at me from across the table as Dad spoke up saying, "Why?"

"Because it would give us another person to act as security while the rest of us gather what we're going there for. That way we can get more," I replied.

That's when Mom spoke up to Dad and said, "Why don't Sarah and I go with you and Tommy and Amber stay here to keep the zoo safe?"

"Karen, Tommy and Amber both know what I'm looking for already. It's not that I couldn't explain it to you and her, but I want to get on this right away. We've wasted enough time and haven't gotten it done. I don't want to waste any more," Dad said to her.

That was when Kim spoke up and said, "If they were my kids I wouldn't want them to go either." Looking at Dad she continued, "I still don't see why you and I don't go on this one alone. The two of us can get the emitting component that you need and get back here on our own."

Dad spoke again saying, "There are other things that I think we need from there also. The notion of being able to get longer ranged hunting laser rifles with scopes and maybe some camouflaged clothing is too much to pass up also. Not only that but I want to get more than the emitter. If I can, I want to copy the virus and I need another machine to do it. Plus the extra eyes and arms helping to look and grab might make it go faster. And if anything goes wrong I'd rather have them carrying the things that we can get while Kim and I take care of the business end of dealing with it."

"Exactly," Kim spoke up again. "But I don't agree with taking Sarah along no matter how many of us go. I think she should stay here with Karl and secure this place. That way Karen can look after Tad and the little boy freely."

Mom spoke up again saying, "You don't understand. We need to protect them. We have to. I've seen things about them."

Karl spoke up then and said, "What have you seen Karen?"

"Both of them in different visions. Amber was trapped in a dark place and Tommy was trying to keep from falling from something in a windy place," she said.

Dad looked at Mom for a few seconds. Then he looked at Kim and asked, "How big is the mall that we're looking for?"

"Two floors, indoors," she replied.

"Then Tommy's coming with us. What about places where someone could get trapped," he asked her.

"Not anything that I could see her getting stuck in. Freezers in the food court, a vault in the back of the small bank outlet that was there, and a detainment area for the security to use on people caught shoplifting. That's it in the mall itself. I don't know of anything else," Kim replied.

Dad looked at Mom and said, "Then I need her. She needs to go with us.

This caused Mom to snap, and she glared at Dad and said, "What's it going to take? Are you going to keep going until one of our kids dies with this crusade of yours? We have a responsibility to our children too, remember? They're not soldiers. They're our kids. Keeping our kids safe is more important to me than saving the world. It's everything, and it should be to you too," she said.

"I want to keep them safe too, Karen. You act like I don't. Do you think hiding out in this zoo is going to afford them a safe life? Huh? The only thing that can keep them safe is the destruction of the dreads. So while you're here getting all sanctimonious about what I'm feeling for the world versus these kids, do you have a better idea to stop the machines," Dad blurted back in anger.

Kim cut in at that point in an attempt to defuse their growing argument saying, "Karen, I understand how you feel. I can't see like you can, but I know it kills you to have any of the kids being risked in any of this. I don't want to risk them either. But if you trust me, I promise I'll protect them for you. I won't let anything happen to them."

Mom turned to Kim now and said, "Like Cane happened to my daughter?"

Dad glared back at Mom and said, "That's not fair, Karen. You of all people should know what Kim is willing to do to protect these kids. She already has protected them and she's willing to do anything to make them safe. With what she's done for us already, you have no right to question her."

I started to say something myself when Kim got up from the table and walked herself into a position between Mom and Dad to break their view of each other, and she said, "I'll take care of them, Karen. You have my word. I swear that I won't let anything happen to them."

Mom stood there for a moment, looking at Kim with no words. Then she spoke up and said to her, "I'm sorry, Kim. I'm sorry." Then Mom turned and left the room.

Karl waited for Mom to leave the room, and then spoke up saying, "You have to know where I stand on this. I won't ever doubt anything that Karen has to say again for the rest of my days. If she thinks that these two are in some kind of danger, I'm not going to question her. I'm not questioning how much you care about our kids Dave, but I'm not about to question your wife's premonitions either."

Dad looked at Karl and said, "Not you too, Karl. Look, if Tad didn't need you here I'd be taking you instead of both of them."

Tommy decided not to stay silent anymore and spoke up saying, "Dad, I love you. But we've got this one. Stop worrying. Amber and I are both looking out for what Karen mentioned with each other. You know that I won't let anything happen to Amber."

"And I won't let anything happen to Tommy either, Karl. You know that I…" I said and stopped myself before I said more than I was comfortable with.

"What about the bridge? The second floor of the mall isn't the only place someone can fall from. Remember," Karl asked with conviction in his voice.

"I'm crossing it first on my own like last time. After a few minutes Kim will take the other two across and follow me. Kim and Amber will be together as they cross with Tommy. They won't let him fall," Dad said.

"Better yet, I'll cross first and you and Amber can follow me. That way there won't be any doubt that the both of you can help Tommy if he feels the need to hang from the side of the bridge for some reason," Kim interrupted.

"Do I look like I'm laughing to you? If so, let me put this another way to you. If my son doesn't return here with you, you'd better not return here either," Karl said as he rose from his chair and glared at Kim and then Dad, then walked out of the lounge.

Kim looked at Dad and said, "David, I'm sorry. Maybe they're right. Maybe I should just go on my own and…"

"No," I said to her before she could finish. "We can do this. We'll be careful and we'll stick together."

Tommy added, "We'll both stay together so that none of what Karen might have seen can come true. Let's just get this out of the way.

"We will. Get some rest. We're going tonight," he said to us to our surprise.


	22. Chapter 22

January 30, 2138 (Late evening)

I don't have much time left before we leave, but Tommy and I have had our stuff prepared for a long while now. So both of us took a little bit of time to get with Mom and Karl and try to mend this rift that's growing between them and Dad. So I went to Mom and Tommy went to Karl. Mom was outside with little Alan, holding him as she stared in the direction of the city. She heard me coming and she looked at me as I approached her, but she didn't say anything. She just stood there with her eyes open wide, and all that I could think of to say was, "I love you, Mom."

She stood there still with the same expression as I could see a tear stream down her face and she said, "I can't lose you. I can't."

"You won't. I promise," I said back as I walked to her and hugged her.

I stayed with her another minute and started to walk away and she said, "Look after each other and be careful."

I turned back to her and said, "Trust me Mom. Tommy won't take his eyes off of me."

This brought out a short laugh out of her and she said, "Yeah, I've noticed."

After leaving Mom in hopefully a better mood I went to see Tad. Once at his door I could see that Sarah was already there, armor on and watching Tad showing her how to do something that I didn't recognize with her combat knife. It must have been something Dad or Kim had shown him. Even when you're in a bed they won't just let you rest. Not a wasted moment goes by in their eyes.

Sarah was obviously in a better mood than the other day as they kept messing with the knife. It was almost too good for some reason. As I approached them Tad spoke up first saying, "I hate this, you know? This waiting here and letting everyone else take care of things. It's pathetic."

I was kind of expecting a more emotional greeting from both of them. The ones we usually have before one of these missions that might separate us forever. It wasn't like they didn't know that we were going. What did they know that I didn't? I would find out a minute later.

Sarah said to me, "Are you ready to go?"

I said, "Yeah, we're just waiting for Dad and Kim. They're supposed to come for us any time now."

"Yeah…us," Sarah said back to me as Tad pulled the sheet down from himself and revealed that he was fully dressed underneath it all along.

"What are you doing, Tad? You shouldn't be…," I said and was interrupted by Tad.

"I'm not. Well, I'm not going with you, anyway," he said.

"What are you talking about? You guys are staying here," I replied.

"Not exactly. Tad is staying here and taking my place, and I'm going along with you," Sarah said to me with a grin.

"Who agreed to this," I asked her as she kept grinning at me.

"Well, Karl did actually. And it was more my idea than his because he really wasn't fond of it at first, even though he told me about what Mom has been seeing lately. But someone has to keep an eye on both of you and that can either be me or he's probably not going to let Tommy go with you. I think being presented with that choice will be enough to get Dad and Kim to go along with it," Sarah said.

"You mean Dad and Kim don't even know yet," I asked.

"They will," she replied.

Tad spoke up again saying, "I don't want her to go either, and she knows it. But we can't just sit here and do nothing knowing what your Mom is seeing. And Dad is getting fed up with this war. Seeing me in this bed is just making his mood worse. If nothing else, we're doing it for him too. If he can see that I'm all right and can function it might help him a little."

"Have fun dropping this on Kim and Dad. They're going to love this and I don't see how you will convince them to allow you to go," I said as I worried about how Tommy and I could hide what we were doing from another set of eyes.

Tad said, "Well, I'm going to talk to your Dad and Sarah is going to talk to Kim and just lay it all out there. So, we'll see. But I think it will be easier to take her along and let me take her place than to risk another argument with Dad. I don't know about Karen. She might not like the idea, but she's not stopping you from going even though she knows what she's been seeing. I can't imagine her not seeing the value of having another person watching out for you even if it's Sarah."

"Speaking of getting with them, we need to get going. Can I have a minute with Tad, Sis," Sarah asked me."

"Yeah, of course," I said back to her as I walked over to Tad and hugged him. I wanted to tell them everything so badly at that moment I felt like I would burst.

"Please be careful, Amber. Just look out for each other and get back here fast," he said as we held each other.

"I will," I said back and left them to say what I knew they had to say to each other.

January 31, 2138 (Early morning)

Somehow Kim and Dad relented and allowed Sarah to come along with us, but I'm not sure how. Dad wasn't as much against it, but Kim seemed bothered a lot by the idea. I don't know if she's just worried about how stable Sarah is or if she just doesn't want to risk another person. It didn't matter in the end though because she went along with us anyway.

After our usual tear jerking goodbyes, we got about halfway down the trail and could hear explosions coming from within the city again. This scared the hell out of me even though I tried not to show it. Every explosion that we could hear made a chill run down my spine. Kim looked back at me and said, "You get used to it," as she continued down the trail.

In the meantime Tommy was watching Sarah more than she was watching him or me. She was busy looking around us into the trees and trying not to show her fear. Tommy caught on quickly and put his arm around her as he walked with her like this for the rest of the trip down the trail.

Dad spoke up from behind us and said, "Baby, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Dad," Sarah replied. This caused Kim to glance back again and look at Sarah, then she turned back and kept leading us on.

After a short time we reached the bridge. The wind picked up a little as Kim said, "I'll see you in a few, kids." We waited in the trees as she walked ahead and started crossing the bridge. About halfway across she stopped and knelt down. Then she pulled out a pair of binoculars and started looking in the direction of the power plant. She stayed there for a few seconds, then she rose up and moved on to the fields where we would meet at shortly. She disappeared from our view and it really started to hit me how important she had become to me and the rest of us.

We waited our standard three minutes with nothing happening, then continued after Kim. About halfway across the bridge we could see why Kim had stopped. We could see a Phantom Striker landing near the plant and what looked like little lights flying in the air from where we were. They must have been winged biodreads working on the plant and trying to repair the damage that our attack on it had done. Tommy paused to look to the plant too, but Dad came up behind him and gave him a light shove forward and said, "Get across the bridge, son." Tommy shook his head and kept moving like dad told him.

Shortly after crossing the bridge without incident we came upon the overgrown fields and Kim was waiting for us. Trying to break up the feelings of worry we all had, Kim stuck her head out of the field she was in as we approached her and said, "Boo!" Tommy spoke up saying, "Kim, what the hell is wrong with you," as we all were startled and yet found her antics to be really funny at the same time. After Kim's attempt at comedy we were told to stay close to each other as we headed across the fields so that we wouldn't lose each other. The overgrown plants blocked a lot of the wind as we moved on. As we continued I felt like I should talk to Dad and try to get him to make things right with Mom if he could.

"Dad, are you and Mom ok," I asked him as we moved through the fields.

"Your Mom's just worried about you and Tommy. She's you mother and she's supposed to do that, you know? We'll be fine," he said back to me.

"Are you sure? She really lost it with us back in the lounge. I don't remember ever seeing her like that before," I said back to him.

"We just need to get this done and get back safe. I think she'll be all right after that. Maybe she thinks I'm questioning her ability, but I'm not and she should know better. I believe in her and I always have. I just need her to believe in me for once," Dad said as I started getting the impression that he had felt this way for a while.

Kim spoke up again saying, "I'm telling you, you're going to be sleeping on that couch in the lounge if you keep going, buddy."

Dad laughed a little at this, but I couldn't really find any humor in my parents fighting with each other and Sarah apparently didn't either as she kept taking it all in without speaking. After her saying that it shut us up as we kept moving through the fields. After we reached the edge of the fields we came upon more open areas with some trees, but not as much overgrowth as before. We were rather close to the hospital at this point and all of us kept quiet as we looked in the direction of it. It made me think of Kim's friend Carrie and what happened to her as we escaped with the medications before. I could see Kim's face once in a while as we were passing through the area and she looked in that direction too. Her mood had changed and I could see her cold look appear again as she glared in the direction of the facility.

We could see it from where we were, but it appeared as though the machines hadn't left anyone or anything to guard it. That seemed odd to me, but they probably took everything from it that was of any value anyway. Maybe they didn't have the resources to keep any kind of a garrison there after the message we received from the Carillon about the resistance taking over part of the city. At least we were able to get by it without any trouble, regardless of what they had done after we escaped it.

After getting past the hospital the terrain started opening up more than I was comfortable with, but we were told to expect that. Dad and Kim made us all keep up a fast sprint so that we could pass through the open area as fast as we could. As we ran forward there were more explosions that were getting louder as we ran. After a short time we started running into more rubble and debris as we moved farther into the outskirts of the city. We could see a variety of intact and damaged buildings everywhere. Most were smaller and we were able to move forward using the buildings and debris as cover. It wasn't long after this that the mall we were looking for was in sight.

It was scary approaching it. Even with only having two floors it looked huge, and we didn't know what might be inside. Knowing this, Dad and Kim approached it first and started crossing the parking lot outside of it as the moved through the abandoned hover vehicles. They made us wait until one of them reached the nearest entrance before the rest of us could move forward. The good part of it all was that there really weren't that many windows except for the stores located on the ground floor. The upper floor of the mall had no windows at all, so there weren't any opportunities for anyone to be shooting down on us. So we just had to watch the windows on the ground level, which eased our approach a lot.

Dad opted to approach the nearest set of doors that he could find, which was an entrance directly into one of the stores rather than one that would lead into one of the open hallways. Kim had stopped behind a small tree in the lot behind Dad as he looked inside of the store. He motioned her forward and stayed on one side of the door as she took place on the other side and looked in herself. Another explosion sounded and the ground shook a little as it seemed like it was coming from a few blocks away.

Dad looked back at us and motioned us forward. We ran forward as Dad entered the darkness of the store, and Kim turned to us saying, "We need to pick up the pace. Those blasts are too close to here and we need to get out of here as fast as we can. Tommy, you need to stick with me. Amber, stay with your dad and look for anything looking like a computer shop. Sarah, I need you to grab any camouflaged or dark clothes you can find in here and move to the inner entrance to the store and wait for us. Keep an eye on the door we came in as you do this. Can you do that?"

I could sense Kim's hesitation to leave her in this dark store alone with the frame of mind she must have felt that Sarah was in, and it seemed to get confirmed when Sarah failed to answer her. We both looked at Sarah and we could see the fear in her eyes.

"Sarah? Are you all right," Kim asked.

As Kim was asking her this I could see what Tommy and I were after right inside of the store we were standing in. Mounted up high on a display was a mannequin of a female wearing what were the latest fashions before the war had started.

Before Sarah could speak up and answer I said, "I'll stay here. Take Sarah with you and I'll get what we need from here."

"That wasn't part of the plan, Amber," she said as she looked at me confused.

"I think Sarah is better off with you, you know? Besides, she can do as well as I could. Give her the chance," I said hoping that Kim would read more into what I was saying than I could come out and say in words.

Sarah spoke out and said, "No, I need to stay with Amber."

Another explosion shook the floor we were standing on and the mannequin I had spotted fell to the floor. This prompted Kim to agree to take Sarah with her as much as I think she knew what I was referring to when I said she would be better off with her. Sarah tried to speak up again and I said, Sarah, it's all right. Go with Kim. I'll be fine. All I'm doing is getting the clothes and moving to the door. Nothing can happen to me there."

"Amber, no," she said as she looked back to me.

"Just go. I'm fine," I said back as Kim took her hand and they ran off to the inner entrance of the store.

Once they had cleared the door I started towards the fallen mannequin. The fall had caused one of its arms to become disconnected. This just made my job easier as I started removing its clothes and figuring out how to disassemble it. As I took it apart and kept looking for the remote that controlled it I started thinking about how easy this was becoming for Tommy and I to accomplish what we had wanted. Neither of us expected it to go like this. I started cramming the parts of it in a bag as I started wondering how the rest of the group was doing. Not wanting to have them return too soon I started getting nervous about not finding the remote right away and hurried my pace so that I could have more time to get it and get the clothes she wanted too.

I finally got the thing disassembled and bagged up when I noticed a cabinet underneath of the stand the mannequin was on. I looked inside of it but it was empty. At this point I was in a panic because I knew that the whole plan would be ruined without it. As I started looking around for another cabinet another explosion hit what seemed to be part of the building, and another mannequin fell on top of me, knocking me to the floor. It was heavy, but I shoved it off and said, "Aren't you being a little too outgoing there, friend?" I thought saying it would ease my nerves, but it didn't really work. As I turned to get up I noticed a small box on the floor. It was the remote and I grabbed it quickly and crammed it in the bag.

After this I felt a little more relaxed to start grabbing things. Unfortunately I couldn't find any camouflaged clothing and began to gather the darkest colored clothes I could find when Kim spoke on the communicator and said, "Amber, are you doing all right?"

"Yeah, I'm good. What about Dad and Tommy," I replied.

"We're fine, but that last blast hit the mall somewhere. Nobody go to the North side of the mall. It came from there," he said back before Kim could answer me.

Kim spoke again saying, "We're already on the North side of the mall, David. There's some smoke coming from about four stores down the hall, but we're going through a sporting goods store. There are some things that we can use here."

"Hurry and get out of there. You can't stay on that side of the building with whatever is going on outside. That battle going on out there is too close to here," Dad said.

Kim went on asking Dad how he and Tommy were doing when I could hear Sarah speaking in the background to Kim. She said, "It's locked, Kim. I can't get it to open." I could hear a laser firing and the short sound of the blast it had made as Kim said, "It's not locked any longer. Get me the long one with the scope and grab the other two."

Dad chimed in at that moment saying, "Tommy and I can't find what we came here for. Do you know where there's a shop for what we're after inside of this place?"

"Maybe on the second floor on the Southeast side. There used to be a shop that sold and repaired electronics and such," she said back to Dad.

I spoke up from the inner entrance of the store we came in from and said, "I can see the smoke from where I am. Maybe I should look through this store and see if there's anything that might work with your machine, Dad."

"I thought you were in a clothing store, Amber. How can you get what I need there," he asked.

"I can see a lift about sixty feet from me. Hanging from the ceiling in front of it is a sign that says hardware, electrical, and computers with an arrow pointing up. Any more questions," I asked.

I could hear him say, "Tommy, go back to where Amber is and secure the store while she looks upstairs. I'm going up to the second floor and I'll try to find the store Kim is talking about. And son, stay on the first floor. I'll make my way across to her upstairs in a few minutes."

I could hear Tommy answer him and run off to meet me. I kept looking down the hallway to see if I could see him when another explosion hit the building again. This time I could see some of it as the wall in the store at the end of the hallway I was looking down fell inside of the store. Tommy rounded the corner and came into my view as I looked on in horror of the noise and destruction it had caused. He glanced at it, and turned to run in my direction. He kept looking back at it as he ran to me, and behind him I could see Sarah and Kim appear. Kim motioned for Sarah to follow Tommy as she stopped and went inside of the store where the wall had fallen in. I wanted to get up the lift and get this done, but seeing Kim go into the store stopped me and I said to her, "What are you doing. You've got to get out of there."

Dad spoke up saying, "What's going on down there?"

"I want to see if I can tell what the hell is hitting this building. Give me a second," Kim said before I could reply.

"Kim, get out of there," Dad said in a worried tone.

I kept looking towards where she was but I still couldn't see her. Then she started speaking again after a few seconds saying, "Guys, we have a problem."

At this point I could see her shaded figure making her way back to the entrance of the store as Dad said, "What are you talking about, Kim?"

As she kept moving through the store towards the door she said, "There's a group of Dread Youth running in this direction. It looks like they're running from something, but they're headed right towards us."

Tommy had cleared the center court of the mall while Sarah was running behind him. Dad spoke again saying, "Get back to the South side of the mall," when another blast could be heard and pieces of the ceiling down the hallway started falling in. I could see the glass from the windows on the ceiling rain down at Kim as she cleared the door of the store she had went into. She couldn't seem to move out of the doorway and Tommy looked back and could see her looking up as she tried to move forward. More of the ceiling came falling in and she couldn't move through it to get to us as Tommy turned back and started running back to her. As he did and started yelling her name, Sarah stopped and started looking back to her also. Then she looked back at me and I couldn't stay there any longer. I sat the bag that I had down and ran towards all of them as Sarah started back as well. Sarah was carrying two long laser rifles and was slowed down a little by them as I started to catch up to her. I reached her and took one from her. Then I strapped it over my shoulder and pulled my laser pistol so that I could move easier. I could hear Tommy yelling her name still when Dad started talking to us again. He said, "Kim, where are you?"

"I'm cut off from the kids. The ceiling just fell in front of me. I'll have to go down the West hallway and cut through the store beyond the rubble, and come out through the entrance of it. Then I can get back to the South side," she said as she disappeared down the hallway to her right and my left. A second later a laser flew through the air from the store she had just exited and I could see a couple of shaded figures moving in our direction.

"Dad, they're in the mall," I said as Sarah and I stopped moving forward and aimed our lasers down the hallway from the center court. Tommy had already ran into the store that he expected Kim to come through to our left.

Dad started talking to us again as we kept aiming down the hallway at what we could see of the store, saying, "Get to the South entrance where we came in from now. I can see the store from where I am." We both looked up and dad was aiming his weapon at the store front from the rail above us on the second floor. Suddenly Dad started yelling in the direction of the store Kim had came from as Sarah and I turned back and started moving to the store I had just left. I looked back and could see a dark haired guy and a brown haired girl in grey uniforms emerge from the store, but the debris was blocking the rest of my view.

Dad was aiming his laser in the direction of the entrance to the store as he said, "Drop your weapons, now."

I could see the guy raise his laser and fire at Dad. The blast hit the rail in front of Dad as he ducked back, then fired back at him. Dad's shot hit the wall behind the guy and blew a hole in the concrete wall as the girl ran off in the direction that Kim had run off to. Other shots started appearing from behind the rubble where Sarah and I couldn't see, and they were all going in Dad's direction. Sarah stopped and turned back. She knelt down in front of me and fired at the guy that was originally shooting at Dad. Her shot must have grazed his arm since I could see him holding it as I started firing at him too. My shot also hit the wall and he jumped off in the direction that Kim had moved to also.

There were at least two more people firing at Dad from behind the debris, but Dad stopped shooting at them and backed away from the rail for a second. Sarah thought that maybe one of them had hit Dad and she started screaming to him as I ran forward so that I could see him. It began to dawn on me that I couldn't see any way for Tommy and Kim to get out of the store they were in without being shot up by the two that were behind the rubble. They couldn't see us from where they were standing, but they could see the entrance to that store easily since they were practically right next to it and could be in the doorway if it weren't for the ceiling being in the way.

A second passed and I could see something fall from where Dad was at. It bounced on the floor near the entrance of the store Kim and Tommy were in. It exploded and smoke started filling the entrance and the hallway as another explosion shook the building again. Dad started firing in the direction of the other two from the rail again as he backed away to the Southern part of the mall. He looked down at us as he ran by above and said, "Go, move it."

Sarah got up and ran back to the store I had come from and I glanced back towards the smoke. I could see Tommy running out of the entrance of the store and Kim was right behind him with her laser aimed back into the store. Tommy stopped and fired back into the store as Kim passed him when I could see another figure of a person with them. Kim had the brown haired girl by her hair and was holding her in front of herself as she moved back in our direction. Having a captive was not part of our plan, but she was keeping the enemy from shooting back at her as we slipped away to the store we entered from. As I ran back I grabbed the bag I'd been filling and looked back again to see Kim aiming back down the hallway still with the girl in tow, and Tommy still shooting randomly down the hallway to keep anyone that might follow us back.

We cleared the hallway and ran through the store to the exit as Dad came up behind us. Kim came through the store with her laser aimed at the girl's head. I looked at Kim and said, "What are we doing with her?"

She looked at me and said, "Go. Get across the lot and back to the trees."

I looked at the girl and she looked like she was my age. She looked terrified at me when I could see her face. One of her eyes looked discolored in some way, but Kim kept pulling the girl around by her hair and she kept closing her eyes in her expression of pain so that I couldn't make it all out.

"Kim, what are we doing," I asked again.

She looked back at me and I could tell that she had something in mind that she didn't want to tell me when Dad approached and said, "Bring her. And whoever you are, you'd better run as fast as we do or I'll kill you as soon as I see you slow down. Do you understand me?"

"Yes," she said as Kim shoved her in the direction of the door and aimed her laser at her back.

"Then move," she commanded as we headed for the exit.


	23. Chapter 23

January 31, 2138 (Early morning, continued)

The nightmare at the mall seemed so easy at first. Yet within minutes all of our plans were at risk. As Kim shoved the Dread Youth female towards the door we could hear voices and footsteps coming up from behind us. The other Dread Youth members that were with the girl must have gotten through Dad's smoke grenade and had made their way down the hallway behind us. With the bag that I had filled I didn't know how we were going to outrun them, and I looked at Tommy to see if he was thinking like I was. He looked at me for a second, and I gave him a sideways nod in the direction of the bag I had and an obvious big eyed look. He strapped his laser over his shoulder and grabbed the bag from me, then ran towards the door.

Kim had made it to the door with the girl as the dark haired youth swung around the entrance of the store we were in and aimed his laser towards us. I yelled, "Kim, the door," as he fired once in their direction from far across the store. The glass in the door exploded and sprayed both inside and outside of the store as Kim grabbed the girl and pulled her back away from it. I fired back at the dark haired youth as he ducked back behind the open entrance and the shot flew out into the hallway and hit a wall along the side of it. I kept looking and aiming at the entrance and I could hear Kim call to Dad. He left my side and stayed low as he moved towards her, and I could see another two youths creeping into the store from the front entrance from the hallway we ran in from.

The dark haired youth popped back into the entrance and aimed at us, firing again as the other two started clearing the entrance and moved inside of the store. His shot almost hit me as it flashed by my head and hit something behind me. I fired back and hit the dark haired youth in his exposed shoulder. He fell back out into the hallway yelling out in pain. I ducked back down and I could still hear him yelling out as this wave of guilt hit me. I didn't want to hurt him, but he was trying to kill us. For a second it made me wonder why I didn't have the guilty feeling with the Cane thing as I was now with shooting this person. And I realized that it was because whoever he was, he actually believed in what he was doing. Cane was just a predator wanting to rape my sister and kill us. There was this difference, yet the problem was still the same.

Steeling myself to having to do it again, I looked over the counter again and couldn't see where the other two had gone. This scared me to death as I had no idea where they might be. For all I knew they could have been on the other side of the counter I was using for cover. Sarah had moved up next to me with what looked like some kind of a sniper rifle, and Kim came up next with one too. Maybe it was just that they were there with me, or maybe it was the intimidating look of the longer rifles they were carrying, but I suddenly felt a lot safer.

Kim looked at me and said, "There's another girl near the lift hiding behind another counter, and a guy about 20 feet inside of the store hiding behind an overturned table. I think they're waiting for one of us to go for the door again so that they can nail them as the get in the doorway. By the way, that was a nice shot on that nuisance at the entrance."

Ignoring her compliment I said, "What are we going to do?"

"We have to help Tommy and your dad to get out the door. The bag Tommy has is heavy and we have to give him some time to get through the door without those two cutting him to pieces," Kim replied.

"What about our hostage," Sarah asked.

"Oh, I strapped a wrist grenade to her. I think she'll cooperate a little better wearing that," Kim said back to her.

"What are you thinking, Kim? You put a bomb on her and she's standing right next to Tommy," I asked.

"I won't have time to put it on her later and run at the same time. Besides, if she thinks we're all suicidal I think she'll be too scared to mess with us," she said in an unconvincing way.

At that point we could hear the other female youth yelling to us, "The day of the machine is inevitable."

Then the male spoke out saying, "All things of flesh and emotion will be eliminated.

Sarah yelled back, "Yeah, we'll take care of that for you in another minute."

One of them shot at us and hit something made of glass on top of the counter we were hiding behind. It shattered and a liquid fell on top of me and Kim. Some kind of fragrance left unscathed from the war had fallen on both of us and Kim started to lose it as I could see her anger spilling over. She yelled out, "You want to rock with me?" Then she rose up and started firing back and forth in both directions that the voices were coming from. Sarah seemed to be feeding off of Kim's mood as she moved to the side of the counter and started firing her rifle at the counter near the lift. I rose up enough to see both pieces of cover that they were using burning from the energy that these rifles were firing. The table had a couple of large holes in it and the male that was hiding there must have had to move away. Otherwise he probably would have been wounded by the fragments blown out of the table.

As I glanced to the lift I could see the other girl running into it as Sarah fired at her again. She had long black hair and looked a little younger than me. More Sarah's age than mine and I was hoping that neither one of them would have to kill the other one. I ducked back down as Kim started turning her rifle in the opposite direction of the lift and started firing another two shots there. Unknown to us at that time, Dad and Tommy had both slipped out the door with the brown haired girl while Kim and Sarah were raining lasers across the store at the two youths. Maybe that was Kim's plan all along. Who could really tell with her?

Kim ducked back down and spoke to me again saying, "Watch out. He's behind the pole to the right."

Suddenly several laser shots came at us from the direction of the lift that forced Sarah back behind our now burning counter. The liquid must have been helping it catch fire even more and I knew we had to move soon before it got to one of us. The shots stopped for a second and I jumped up and fired once at the lift. The shot didn't hit inside of the lift like I wanted, but it hit the control panel outside and the door suddenly closed with the female youth inside. I could hear the female youth yelling, "No," and she started blasting the door from the inside of the lift in an attempt to get through it again.

This had gotten Kim's attention and seeing the door close was enough to get her to start shooting at the pole the other youth was hiding behind. She kept shooting while she said, "Go. Get to the lot and I'll follow you." Sarah and I both ran to the door as she kept shooting back at the male youth, who seemed unable to even stick his head out to see what was happening. Once we reached the door I could hear Dad on the communicator again saying, "Come on. There's a Phantom Striker hovering on the North side of the mall. Get out now."

I was worried that Kim would start getting fired upon as soon as she turned to run to the door, so I told Sarah to stop and we both turned at the door and started covering her as she ran to us. Both of us started firing at the pole as the male youth tried to aim his laser at Kim. I can remember seeing the flames flying up from the counter as she ran to us and a biodread emerge from the entrance of the store from the hallway. Sarah must have seen it too and blasted it right back out into the hallway as fast as it came in. Kim reached us and didn't slow down as she said, "Go," as she passed by.

Once we got outside we could see that Dad and Tommy had taken the other girl and were already across the lot and far into the trees beyond. I could hear the noise from the ship on the opposite side of the mall and we ran across the lot as fast as we could while Dad waited for us. Tommy kept moving on with the youth girl and the bag draped over his shoulder. The girl wasn't resisting and I could see the mechanical device that Kim had placed on her wrist. I couldn't help but look back as the ship remained there, hovering in the air and it made me wonder if it was the same one we saw at the power plant on the way to the mall.


	24. Chapter 24

January 31, 2138 (Noon)

Returning here earlier was so weird after the battle we had hours ago. Everyone in our group was so drained of energy and emotion as we walked back into the zoo. On the way back I hadn't noticed how tired we really were. Too tired to be happy or sad. Angry or glad. I finally realized how tired we were when we reached the gate of the zoo and Tad was standing there. I stopped to take in what we called home as Sarah slowly walked up to the gate and leaned into Tad to hug him loosely, and he stood there transfixed on the Dread Youth girl that we had brought back with us. I'd seen the look he was giving her before, during the fight with Cane when his rage took him over.

Kim was walking up behind the girl and making her walk in front of her as they moved up to the gate when Tad asked in a low voice, "What's she doing here?"

Kim stopped and looked at Tad and said, "What?"

His response almost knocked us all over as he yelled at Kim at the top of his lungs, "What's she doing here?" Sarah let him go and looked back at Kim like she had no idea where this was coming from or what to do. His veins were bulging in his neck and his eyes were open wide as he kept glaring at the girl, who had stopped moving out of confusion or fear. None of us knew for sure and she looked back at Kim as though she was waiting for more instructions.

Kim looked at Tad in shock as Tommy spoke up and said, "We didn't have much choice."

Karl had heard the yelling and came running to the gate as Tad yelled, "Get her out of here."

"What's going on," Karl asked

Kim spoke to Tad saying, "We can't, Tad."

Dad cut in saying, "Tad, please. It's something that we had to do."

Tad looked at Dad and replied, "No. What you have to do is get her away from me. And you do it now."

Karl moved closer to Tad and put his arm on his shoulder, saying, "Son, calm down."

Before he could say anything more Tad jerked his shoulder free of Karl's hand and turned to his dad saying, "Get your hands off of me." Then he turned back to the girl and whipped out his laser and aimed it at her saying, "You get her out of here or I'll do it for you."

The youth stood there staring at him, not knowing what to do. I noticed the discoloration in her left eye more but didn't have time to concentrate on it right then as Tad was so enraged just by her being there that I was afraid that he would kill the girl.

Mom came running out and said, "Tad, please don't do this."

"What the hell is wrong with you people? She's one of them," he said to all of us standing there.

Sarah finally spoke up saying, "We know. But she didn't hurt any of us."

"No, she just follows those that would kill all of us. And you'd all have her staying here like she belongs here among us. Well I'm not having it," Tad yelled out as he kept pointing the laser at the girl. His hand started shaking as he kept aiming it at her. It was as if nothing any of us were saying was going to make him stop.

Karl tried to talk to him again, saying, "She's not worth this, son. Please let this go."

"Like you let Mom go, Dad? Huh? Is that what you want? Me to let her go so that she can shoot one of us in the back like they did Mom," he asked as he kept his stare and his laser on the girl.

Karl tried again saying, "She didn't hurt your mother, Tad. It wasn't her."

Tad looked at his father and yelled, "How do you know? Where were you, Dad? When they were killing Mom in that school yard, where were you? Where were you?"

"Getting me," Tommy said as he stepped between Tad and the girl.

"Tommy, move," Tad said in a softer voice.

"I can't," Tommy said as he kept aiming the laser at Tommy now.

I couldn't keep quiet any longer and said, "Please, Tad. Your head is bleeding again."

"Move," Tad yelled back at Tommy as he became enraged again.

"No, Tad. This is wrong. Mom wouldn't have wanted this. Would she," he asked.

Tad stood there and couldn't hold his hand steady. He started looking off to the side and seemed to be losing his rage as Kim stepped forward and said, "I understand, Tad. But this isn't the way. Please give me the gun. Please, Tad."

Before Tad could answer he fell backwards and Mom and Karl had to grab him to stop him from falling to the ground. Sarah ran forward to help him too, but he seemed to be having problems standing and he started breathing heavily, like he was having trouble even doing that like he should. Sarah took the laser from him and handed it back to Kim as they took Tad back to his room. As they helped him get to his room the girl looked down at the ground in silence as though she didn't know what to say.

Kim looked back at Tommy and said, "Are you all right?" Without responding he picked up the bag I had given him before and walked off into the zoo. Dad looked at me and said, "Go get some sleep. Kim and I can handle this." The girl looked back up at Dad and I could see her eyes again. One eye looked like it was a normal gray or blue color, but the other was yellow. It was bright yellow like there was some kind of energy in her pupil, but there wasn't anything else around it that was mechanical that could be seen causing it to look this way. It was eerie as it gave her this cold, empty stare, and yet it was kind of beautiful at the same time.

After all of her silence the youth finally spoke up saying, "Why don't you go on and kill me now? I'm not going to be of any use to you."

"If I had my way I would have already killed you back at the mall, honey. If you're in a hurry to see if there's some kind of an afterlife for gear heads, I'll be more than happy to send you on your way, "Kim said with her icy glare back in effect.

She didn't answer Kim, and Dad pushed the girl forward saying, "Let's go."


	25. Chapter 25

January 31, 2138 (Early Evening)

The drama from this morning has made everything tense around the zoo. I think we all felt like the battle was over and we had just made it home. Then another battle had just begun right in front of us that all of us should have expected, yet nobody saw it coming. Tad's been carrying all of this resentment all of this time and threw it in every direction that he could this morning. I feel like I should be saying things to him to try and fix this, but I'm not sure what to say or how to approach him now. He's been resting all day and the others seemed to get him stable again. Sarah has stayed with him most of the day, and Kim is afraid to let him have any kind of a weapon for fear of him trying to use it on the girl we brought back here.

Dad and Kim have locked her up in one of the indoor cages in a small building that was meant for displaying smaller animals, but we've been using it to store some things. I'm going to take her some food soon, but Dad and Kim wanted to talk to her and have been doing so for about an hour now. I'm worried about how that's going. Besides wanting to grill her for information, Kim seems particularly concerned about what the deal is with her left eye. From what I've gotten so far she's worried that it might be some kind of a weapon. She admits that it's unlikely, but she doesn't want to find out that she's escaped and then realize that it was something that she could use to free herself all along. Or allow her to have a weapon that she could use on one of us. Due to this there's been someone with her standing guard all day.

Like Kim's military uniform, the Dread Youth girl wore one also. However, it didn't have her name printed on it anywhere and it was gray in color instead of tan. She wore a gray hat with a red stripe running across it and a Biodread Empire symbol attached to it. As dedicated as she appeared to be by the uniform she was wearing, it made me wonder how Dad or Kim would get her to tell them anything. Even during Tad's enraged episode she didn't run away. She was worried, but stayed there as though it was her duty to do so. If she had this much of a sense of loyalty to the enemy how would they break through this and get her to talk?

January 31, 2138 (Evening)

I while ago I went to give our new guest some food. Karl and Tommy were both guarding the room she was in. It will be that way or another hour until Dad and Kim go to have their talk with her. I'll get to go back then and stand guard over her while they do their thing and the two guys take a break to get supper.

Upon arriving at her room both Karl and Tommy told me to be careful. Karl opened the door as Tommy stepped in first with a laser in his hand. Holding the plate with the food we prepared for her kept me from easily being able to defend myself if I needed to, so he stayed in the room until I gave it to her. I walked up to her and said, "I'm sorry if this isn't what you're used to, but it's what we have here." She took the plate from me and looked back at me and said, "Thank you." Then she stared at it or a about half a minute. After about fifteen seconds of watching her looking at the plate I asked her if something was wrong, but she didn't reply. After my question was asked I noticed her close her normal eye and continue staring at the plate with the eye with the yellow colored pupil. This lasted or a few seconds before she opened the other one and continued to look at the food I gave her. After the thirty seconds she seemed satisfied to go ahead and eat some of it. Most of it was fish that we keep catching when we take some time and apples, which seem plentiful around here what with all of the trees around. It didn't seem to be what the food was that she was looking at though, but more like what she thought we might have done to it before giving it to her.

Once she had eaten a couple of bites she looked at me and said, "Are you here to interrogate me?"

"No. But I'd like to know what your name is so that I can quit referring to you as that girl," I replied.

She hesitated to answer for a few seconds as she continued to look at me. Finally she said, "Youth Leader Rachel"

"I'm just going to call you Rachel if you don't mind," I said back.

She didn't reply to this as though she wasn't really that keen on me calling her by her name only, and she looked away and started eating the food again. After seeing her face in the lighted room and getting a better look at her eyes I could see both of them better. The eye with the yellow pupil looked as though it had three or four yellow points extending out from the pupil inside of the cornea. Somewhat like a star would look like if it were trapped in her eye and I couldn't avoid asking her about it any longer.

"You can feel free not to answer this if you want to, but I was wondering what's wrong with your left eye. Is it damaged in some way," I asked.

"There's nothing wrong with it," she replied.

"Why is it the color that it is then. That's not normal," I said to her.

She looked back at me again and said, "It's been purged of a weakness and enhanced."

"What weakness," I asked.

"I used to have a type of macular dystrophy in it. I was losing my vision in it and most likely would have lost my vision in the other eye as well. The Dread Empire saved my vision. I was given a macular implant that regenerates any damage to my eyes. It also enhances what I can see and gives me vision that organics can't have. It gives me superiority over organics and is a reward for serving the will of the machine," she replied.

"Machines don't have willpower. People do," I replied.

"Is that what you believe? If that were true, why is it that people like you are living in a zoo like animals while the Dread Empire lives on and continues to forge a world of perfection," she asked.

"There's nothing in this world that's perfect. Especially life, but that's what we have. That's what we're given and it's supposed to be imperfect. We were given the ability to learn to get around those things that aren't perfect," I said.

"There are things in what you call life that can't be gotten around or fixed without the machine. No matter how stupid you might or might not be, no organic can deny that. Organics don't want to accept that because they feel inferior to machines because of this fact. When in reality organics should have accepted this a long time ago. For years we've been saved and lead by machines. And all the while organics thought that machines were serving them," she replied.

"And just who made those machines, Rachel? Another machine? And another? Well, if you keep going back in time and look really hard at what begat what long enough, sooner or later you run out of what begat what and start running into who begat what. And then who begat who. Machines wouldn't be here if not for humans. Imperfect humans created machines years ago. People created machines. Those same flawed people were brought about by to other flawed people that were their parents. Parents that loved them," I said back to Rachel.

"Emotions are wrong and evil. They're the roots of destruction," she claimed.

"Love brought us both into this world," I argued.

"Emotions were the undoing of your male teammate this morning," she came back at me with.

"An injury was his undoing, not his emotions. He's physically hurt and needs rest that he's not getting," I replied.

"If he didn't resist like the rest of you and gave himself to the will of the machine, he wouldn't be injured like he is right now. Like my physical damage, his could be repaired or wouldn't have ever existed to begin with. It's a part of evolution to become one with the machine," she said back to me.

"If it weren't for his emotions, his love for my sister and him putting himself through the injuries that he has, my sister would be dead right now. Another flawed person that feels that thing that you deny yourself called love kept another person alive that he loves. How is that bad," I asked.

"Love can lead to hatred. Hatred leads to destruction and death. Machines don't hate. People do. Like the male teammate you have from this morning. He hates me, whether he knows why or not. He would have killed me if it weren't for his own injuries stopping him and we wouldn't be having this conversation. Any other time than today and his hatred of me would have lead to my death. There's no logic behind that at all. No sense, just another emotion that's left uncontrollable to take the life of another person that never did anything to him," she said.

"I don't hate you and I don't hate any of your friends, yet that didn't stop you and your friends from attacking us in the mall. It didn't stop any of you from shooting at us and trying to kill us. It doesn't stop your biodread allies from trying to kill us. Don't you remember, those machines that don't hate? It doesn't stop them from trying to kill all of us and it didn't stop another Dread Youth that talks about how emotions are evil from killing that boy's mother. My friend has a name. It's Tad, and his mother is dead because of someone in a uniform like yours. A uniform that you say stands for logic and a perfect world where humans are supposed to evolve into something better. Well, if that's so true then why is your type still killing others even though you say that you don't hate," I asked.

She paused without an answer, and before she could offer one Tommy stepped back in to check up on me. He opened the door and say, "Amber, is everything all right?"

"Yeah, everything is fine," I said back to Tommy as he walked up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. Rachel looked at us without ever responding to what I had asked her, and Tommy said, "Come on, let's go." He kissed the side of my head and she just sat there taking it all in without speaking any longer. Then we turned and left her to eat her food.


	26. Chapter 26

January 31, 2138 (Late evening)

After eating supper I headed back to the cage where Rachel was. Kim thought I was being too quiet as I ate and thought something was wrong, but it wasn't. I just couldn't stop thinking about the conversation Youth Leader Rachel and I had. I didn't know that one talk would make me see any part of where she was coming from. There was this part of me that couldn't deny some of what she was saying. Why wouldn't she see things like she does when she's been given what she has by the side she's taken? Without them she might not be able to see. And yet I know so many things that the biodread empire does that's wrong and she denies it. I felt like I was arguing with myself somehow.

My thoughts about our discussion got cut off quickly as the time came for Dad and Kim to have their own talk with Rachel. This thought kind of scared me as I didn't know what they planned to ask her or where their discussion might go. And a part of me was worried for Rachel too. I was hoping that they wouldn't hurt her to get her to talk.

Upon getting to her building I could see Sarah walking down the trail with Tommy to scout together, and both of them were looking back at us as we reached the door where Karl was standing guard. Kim stopped for a second and handed Karl a small flashlight and said, "I hope this is good enough." He looked at her and replied, "Me too." Then all of us went inside as Rachel was sitting in the cage looking at us. Dad asked me to stay at the door, which I did as Kim approached her and opened the cage and Karl turned on the lights. Rachel remained seated and didn't say anything as Kim walked up to her and reached her hand down in an offer to help her up. She didn't take it and Kim said, "Please come outside." She looked at Kim for a second and got up from her seated position on her own without ever taking Kim's assistance. A table had been placed in the center of the room and Dad asked Rachel to sit down. She complied and Kim removed a key from her right pocket and walked over to her. She then looked at Karl and Dad and said, "Please step out and step back away from the door with Amber. This should only take a second or two."

Dad and Karl said nothing more and stepped outside with me as Dad kept looking inside through the door. "What's she doing," I asked Karl. He replied, "Removing the wrist grenade. It wouldn't be good to have the girl tamper with it on purpose and blow all of us up in an attempt to commit suicide." After a few seconds she called to us again so that we could return inside of the room. Karl sat beside of Rachel and asked her to look at him. She complied and he took the flashlight Kim had given to him and began to shine it in Rachel's left eye. At first I thought it must be kind of blinding to have him shining it directly into her eye like that, but she didn't even blink. It was as if the intense light wasn't bothering her at all. He did this for a good minute, and then switched to the other eye. This time she started blinking as though it was bothering her. Karl said, "I'm sorry about this, but I'll be finished in a second." And he was, and then turned to Kim and Dad who were still standing and said in a reassuring voice, "I can't see anything." Kim said, "Thanks, Karl," and he left the room. Dad then walked to the wall and leaned against it while Kim stood directly in front of Rachel. That's when the discussion started.

"Out of respect for you not resisting us as we returned here, you won't have to wear the wrist device any longer. However, don't mistake our benevolence for weakness. Each and every one of us is prepared to kill you if you force a decision like that upon us. Don't try to escape and that won't happen. If you do, it will. None of us want to hurt you, but the decision as to whether that happens or not is within you. Do you understand," Kim asked.

"Yes. And if you think that your posture and the fact that you're standing above me while I'm stuck in this chair will intimidate me into telling you whatever you want to know, it won't," she replied with an arrogant stare.

"You've just used up your one freebie with me. You won't get another one. So you better have enjoyed it, because if you spout off at me again sitting and seeing won't be a problem for you any longer," Kim replied with her icy glare that made a chill run down my spine.

Dad interrupted at this point saying, "We don't intend to ask you more than what we need to know. But you might have noticed that we're in more of a desperate situation than what you might have come from. Desperate enough that we'll do whatever we have to do to survive and stay safe. If that means forcing you to give us information, that's what we'll do. It was never our intention to capture you and bring you here, but you and your friends forced that upon us. As a result, you're here and you have information that we can't afford to risk ourselves trying to get in any other way. We'll limit our questions, but I'm asking you to answer them fully. As a father I don't want to hurt children. Even if you don't think of yourself as one, you're the same age as Amber here. I have a duty as a parent to protect my children. And I will, even at the cost of you."

"I have a duty too," Rachel replied.

"You will answer what we ask of you, one way or the other, regardless of your duty. It doesn't have to be hard on you and we'll try to meet you halfway. You can at least try to do the same. If not, the next person to ask you some questions can be that young man you met this morning. If you would like me to arrange that, just stop me at any time and I will," Kim replied as she seemed to break off her brief effort to be understanding to Rachel.

She remained seated without saying anything more as Kim went on saying, "What's your name?"

"Youth Leader Rachel," she replied.

"Is your left eye armed with any type of a weapon?"

"No. It's just an enhancement to fix my vision," she replied.

"Was the young man with the blond hair in the mall your overunit," Kim asked.

"Yes," she replied.

"What's his name?"

"Overunit Vargus," she replied.

There was that name again. I knew after she had said his name that the questioning was going to become more intense. Before Kim could go on, Dad stepped away from the wall and started asking questions himself.

Dad said, "Vargus? Where were you both posted at and why were you running in the direction of the mall last night?"

"He's in command of the hospital on the West side of the city. The facility that used to be called Memorial. He's been tasked with not only commanding and securing the hospital, but with finding someone that the machine believes to be near here. We were searching for that person when we had an incident with a group of resistance fighters who attacked us and had pushed us back in the direction of the mall," she replied.

"Who," Dad asked with an intense stare.

"Wouldn't you like to know," Rachel replied as Kim backhanded her and she fell out of her chair to the floor. I closed my eyes for a second as the sound of her hitting Rachel rang out so loudly that I could almost feel it myself. She started to get up as Kim grabbed her by the hair and pulled her up the rest of the way and shoved her back in her chair saying, "What part of one freebie didn't you hear me say to you?"

Blood was slowly flowing from the side of Rachel's mouth and ran down her chin as Kim remained next to her as if she might need to do it again, and I could see Rachel swallow hard and close her eyes for a few seconds before Dad spoke up again saying, "Rachel, please. If I didn't need to know this from you I wouldn't ask you. But I do and I have to have an answer."

"Overunit Vargus found someone's blood at a church located in this area. He took a sample of it back to the hospital laboratory for analysis. After a lot of testing and running it through a database we found it to belongs to a relative of the person he was tasked to find. It belongs to the daughter of a woman named Karen Wharton," Rachel replied as I tried to hold in this feeling of despair I was having as she referred to me and Mom.

Kim turned to me and walked towards me, placing herself between me and Rachel as if trying to hide me from her view. She wanted me to step outside with her. I did and Kim looked at me and said, "Can you go get Tommy and have him take your place?"

"I want to stay, Kim. I know that she's talking about me but I won't let it show. I promise," I replied.

"It might be too late for that already, but we'll see," she said back to me as we went back in.

As we walked back inside Rachel looked at me and said, "You're the one, aren't you?"

I didn't reply even though she was right and we all knew that she was aware of who I was. Before Rachel spoke again Kim said, "That's not your concern."

Rachel spoke up again saying, "Is your mother here? I know that this one isn't her because she isn't wearing a wedding ring and her name patch gives it away."

It was unbelievably fast, how quickly Kim had drawn her laser and grabbed Rachel around the throat before Dad could even react to try and stop her. Rachel's chair fell backwards with her in it still as Kim slammed her into the floor and put the barrel of the laser right in her face saying, "Don't you ever utter the word wedding in front of me again or you won't make it to see how perfect your world can get, because I'll burn you right where you are and not think twice about it. Whether you get your perfect world or not, it'll go on without you."

Dad ran forward and grabbed her arm saying, "Please, Kim. She doesn't know. She couldn't know."

I moved closer to her also and said, "Rachel, Kim's fiancée was…"

Kim interrupted me saying, "No. She didn't know. I'm sure she didn't want to know either. Tell me Youth Leader Rachel, when your perfect empire fills your head full of their propaganda and wants you to fill other cadets heads full of it too, do they tell you to include the parts where the biodreads attack medical stations? Maybe one much like the one where you had your eyes fixed at? And that they kill anyone who resists them and what they're doing? Including injured patients? People that can't defend themselves? People that have someone waiting for them somewhere? Someone that loves them? No, I'm sure that they don't bother you with that. Do they? Hell, you probably have no idea what love is. Do you? And I'm sure that you don't bother any in trying to find out what it really is either. Which is probably a good thing in the end because after all is said and done, you'll fully understand why I'm not showing any remorse while I'm killing you that way. Someone like you killed love in me, so I don't want you to be shocked when I'm choking the last breath of air out of you. I'm just occupying my time while I wait for my man to come home."

As I tried to hold in the emotions I was feeling for Kim as she rose up from Rachel and started to walk towards the door, she slammed the key to the cage on the table and looked back at her as though she was thinking about pulling the trigger on her again anyway. Then she turned back and walked out. I tried to reach out to her as she walked by and say something to comfort her somehow, but she kept walking and said, "Not now." Suddenly I was reminded of how important Tommy's plan was as I watched Kim walk away, leaving her pain behind for everyone to feel.


	27. Chapter 27

February 1, 2138 (Morning)

Last night was a trip. I found myself wondering if we had gotten more information out of Rachel than she'd gotten out of us. I realized later that I was giving her information too and didn't even know it at the time. At least Dad turned things around after Kim left and I learned to keep my mouth shut. One day I'll learn that I can't save the world.

We remained in the room after Kim left and Dad went on asking her a few things, but not before something I didn't expect happened. Rachel spoke up after Kim left the room and told us that she was sorry for causing Kim any pain. Then she reverted back into her mechanical, emotionless state. As though her moment of compassion never should have happened. Dad tried to get her to talk about where her parents were but she wouldn't reveal anything about them to him. As I stood there watching Dad I started to realize that the less he asked and the more that he let her ask of us, the more information we were getting out of her. Particularly when Rachel brought up the incident at the hospital outside of town.

"Am I right in assuming that it was you that raided the hospital not far from here several days ago," Rachel asked.

"Yes. You were there," Dad asked in his reply.

"I came off of our ship as your group was clearing the yard and entering the wooded area to the Southwest. One of your people was moving to the Northeast instead of fleeing with you," she replied.

"And you found another one wounded in the yard? A female around twenty years old," Dad asked.

"Yes," she replied and stopped talking.

"Will you tell me if she survived," Dad asked as I didn't know if I wanted to hear her answer.

"She was alive up to the point where I was called away. As Overunit Vargus and a couple of troopers moved in and pursued you I came off of the ship and was left in charge because of my rank. I was the highest ranking unit there and went to the woman to disarm her. She kept fighting to get away from me and she was making her situation worse by doing so. She was causing herself to bleed more by fighting and she seemed afraid of my appearance because of the alteration to my eye. I tried to tell her that I wouldn't hurt her but she kept resisting. I finally took off my hat and covered up my left eye with it in an attempt to get her to stop fighting me, and either because of not being able to see my full face or from exhaustion she stopped fighting as much. Maybe the pain was overtaking her as she kept yelling out and was breathing heavy. I felt…I just wanted her pain to go away as a trooper approached and aimed its rifle at her, but I ordered it to stop. I made it put pressure on her wound as I put my hand under her head to try to make her as comfortable as I could. That's when Overunit Vargus returned and saw me helping her. He was offended and thought that I was showing her compassion. It wasn't until I told him that she might be the same person that we found the blood from at the church, or that she might have information on the one that it was if she wasn't her that he allowed her to continue being helped. But not by me," Rachel said.

"Can you tell me more," Dad asked.

"Look, I don't know what you want me to say to you. Her wounds were critical and while I sat there with her I considered digitizing her just to keep her alive and to stop her pain. She was hurt too badly to be moved from the site any other way, but I don't think that she was digitized after I left. I think she was kept there for treatment and to have her blood tested and analyzed, or she died there and her blood was tested anyway. We received the results from the testing at the hospital I was posted at the next morning and it turned out that it wasn't a match. It's possible that she was kept there and treated so that she could be questioned about the woman we were looking for," she went on.

I don't think Dad knew what to do with this information. Carrie could still be alive and might still be in the hospital we went by last night without ever knowing it. Or she could already be gone and the information she just gave us could be worthless. What would Kim do if she knew what she had told us? She deserved to know but I couldn't help but think she would go and try to save her in some irrational way after what she had just done. Then again, it might go a long way if we could get her to tell Kim what she told me and Dad. So that would be my mission for today.

February 1, 2138 (Noon)

After I ate breakfast I took Rachel her food. Karl was at the door and said, "Hey. Do me a favor and try to give her breakfast without smacking her around any. I don't need another one to look after." I gave him a shrug and shook my head, then entered her room. She was sitting again with her back against the wall. She looked up at me and didn't say anything. I unlocked the cage she was in and said, "I'm sorry for last night. But thank you for the information that you gave to us about Carrie."

"I don't see why you're thanking me. She's either beyond being helped by any of you or you will risk dying yourself if you try to take her from the hospital. Provided she's still there. Why can't you people see how wrong you are? The best thing for her and the rest of you would be to become one with the machine. She could live on forever and never have to be hurt again. So could you," Rachel said to me.

"That's not living, Rachel. Feeling nothing out of life and never feeling happiness or joy. Haven't you ever felt these things in your life or cared about someone? Hasn't anyone ever cared about you," I asked.

"What difference does it make? It doesn't change things," she replied.

"It's everything. If nobody cared about anyone else, I might see more of what you're saying. Kimberly constantly seems to feel that there's nobody left for her and that life is hopeless and yet she keeps going on. I live for the love of my family, and Tommy. And for the brief moments of happiness I get. Haven't you ever had any of that at all," I asked.

"Life is so simple to you, isn't it? Well, what if I told you that I knew my parents well. They didn't die or anything, they just sucked. They didn't deserve to have children and were too damn selfish to take care of me. They would rather have blown what little credits they had on themselves than to take care of me. Would that change things for you? What if I told you about my boyfriend that I had? If I told you that when I got sick of dealing with my parents and their selfishness that I accepted how they were and left home? I moved in with him because I thought that he cared about me, and all the while I was just in his way. You see, he couldn't cheat on me as easily with me there. Would it be that hard for you to believe that there's something better than that out there for me? With all of this love that you seem to be surrounded by, are you so self-centered that you can't see someone having and accepting a life without it," she said to me.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I am. I understand what you're saying, but most people have people that care about them. It's wrong that you didn't, but taking the people that other people care about away from them isn't going to change how those people were to you either. How can you wish that for anyone else or justify that? That because people were there and didn't care enough about you that you would support a cause that takes other people away from those that they do care about? The results are the same. You were left with nobody caring and now everyone else has to be left with nobody caring because you helped to take them away from those that would. How is that right, Rachel," I asked.

She paused for a moment as she kept looking at me. Then she said, "At least the pain can be eliminated. You can be made to where you don't have to feel it any longer. Then it becomes irrelevant. You don't have to feel it and it loses its importance. Is that wrong, Amber? To make all of the pain go away. When you told me that your friend saved your sister from being raped and killed, didn't it ever enter your thoughts that she didn't have to be attacked and hurt like that to begin with? That your friend didn't have to bleed and be hurt either? That we could all be working for a common cause where disease doesn't have to hurt anyone ever again? No cancer. No plague. No pain and death. Just existing in harmony with each other."

"Is that what you call what happened to that woman outside of the hospital? No pain? You can't sit there and tell me that you didn't feel anything for her as she was hurting and bleeding there in front of you. As she was screaming out in pain, there had to be some part of you that felt for her. You can't tell me that you would wish that to happen to another person. And unlike you, she has someone that cares about her and needs her. She has a boyfriend out in the city that loves her, and she loves him too. If the one that you had really cared about you, would you want this for him. Because if he cared about you the way Carrie and her boyfriend cares about each other, I wouldn't wish this on you," I said hoping she would see what I was saying.

She sat there in silence and didn't answer me, so I went on talking.

"I could go and tell Kim what you told me and Dad last night, but maybe you could see it in yourself to take someone's pain away and tell her yourself. I know Kim seemed hateful to you, but you're both a lot alike I think. You've been hurt and so has she, and you're both doing what you think is right to try and stop it from happening again. That girl from the hospital is like family to her and you could give her some kind of hope. And giving that to her might make her actually care about you a little, which is more than what I can say for those that you told me about earlier. Either way, whether you choose to tell her or not or whether you cling to your views about making a perfect world at the cost of everyone else or not you can consider me your friend now. I'll care about you, whether you want it or not. I'll feel for you if you're hurting, and I'll do everything in my power to get all of those people out there to care about you too, Tad and Kim especially. If you choose not to feel anything for any of us, that's fine. But you'll know when I'm done that someone cares about you. And when and if the biodreads find us, I want you to know that I'm going to fight them with my last breath like Carrie tried to do. Even if they kill me, I'll die caring about you like I do everyone else here. You can't go to your grave now ever saying that you never had anyone that cared for you. And if I die at the hands of your allies, you can go on living your dream knowing that they killed your friend and you supported a cause that helped them do that," I said as she sat there looking at me in confusion.

I started to walk to the door and grabbed the handle when she spoke up and said, "If you take me to her or bring her here to me, I'll tell her what I know."


	28. Chapter 28

February 1, 2138 (Afternoon)

I brought Kim back to Rachel's cage so that she could tell Kim what she told Dad and me. There was this part of me that hoped that she wasn't lying to me and using me to get to Kim. Sometimes all that you have to go on is your instincts and how you feel about something. I really felt like she was telling the truth. But there's always this part of you that still tells you that you could be getting deceived.

Kim came in and said to Rachel, "I'm here. What is it?"

"It's possible that your friend Carrie is still alive and at the hospital near here," Rachel said to her without any hesitation.

Kim paused for a second and kept looking Rachel in the eyes before saying, "How do you know this?"

"I was left with her on the grounds for a few minutes after your group ran from the hospital. I tried to help her for as long as I was allowed to, which wasn't very long. While I was there I was able to make an attempt to stop her from bleeding to death and she stopped fighting to get away. I could see that her wound was critical and she was losing her battle with it quickly. But I was confronted by my overunit and forced to leave her before I could learn anything else. I know she couldn't have been moved from the hospital without being digitized at the point where I left because she was hurt too badly. But I have reason to think that she was kept alive and remained there so that she could be questioned about the whereabouts of Amber's mother once they found out that Carrie wasn't the same person who lost the blood in the church," Rachel said.

"Why are you telling me all of this? Why are you volunteering this information to me," Kim replied with a distrusting look in her eyes.

"Because she asked me to," Rachel replied as she pointed to me.

"There's a little more to it than that," I said to Kim.

Rachel looked back at me and said, "No, there's not."

"Isn't there," I asked.

Rachel looked at me and looked down at the floor saying, "You have to know that she might not have made it. If she did and you're foolish enough to go there and try to take her from the hospital, it's unlikely that you will succeed without dying yourselves or being captured. If you actually do succeed in finding her and can manage to get her out of the facility, how can you care for her like they can in this place? They have more resources to help her than you do."

Kim spoke up and said, "Yes, they're better capable of caring for her. But they're also less willing to take care of her like we would. If they think she's no longer an asset to keep, they'll stop treating her and let her die. Or digitize her if they've healed her enough for her to survive already. Given a choice I would choose to take my chances outside of the hospital. At least if I died in the process, I'd know that I wasn't dying all alone or surrounded by enemies."

"And you know that we would try harder to take care of her than they would, don't you? You know that already. Otherwise, why would this Vargus guy stop you from trying to help her," I asked Rachel.

Ignoring my question, Rachel said, "You could be dooming her and any of you that try to take her."

"She's doomed if we don't do anything. What difference does it make," Kim asked.

"Your overunit would have let Carrie die right there in the grass had you not said what you did and made him think she was of some kind of value to him. But she doesn't know where we are. She never has. Kim, Carrie, and Carrie's boyfriend Michael were a group of their own that was at the hospital for their own reasons. My father, Tommy, Tad, Sarah, and I encountered them at the hospital. They weren't part of our group and none of them except for Kim knows we're here," I said to Rachel as Kim chimed in.

"Which means that Carrie doesn't stand any chance at all if she isn't taken from the hospital. Once they figure out that she doesn't know where Karen is, they won't need her any longer," Kim said.

"Maybe they'll want to try to get information from her about the resistance," Rachel replied.

"If that were true, why would your friend Vargus show so much fondness of Carrie as to want to leave her dying out in the yard of the hospital," Kim asked coldly.

Rachel either didn't want to answer that question or didn't have an answer. Whichever it was, she remained silent until Kim spoke to her again saying, "If you're telling me the truth and you tried to save her, and you're really helping me now I'll owe you one. On the other hand, if you're lying to me and trying to get us to walk into some kind of a trap, I'll owe you one too. Are you following me?"

"I understand you," she replied as she looked Kim in the eyes while saying it.

Kim walked out towards the door and asked me if I was going with her. I told her I would be out in a second and she went on outside. After she had cleared the door, I looked back at Rachel who was now looking at me and said, "Thank you."

"You and your friend won't be thanking me if you find this Carrie woman dead. I don't see her appreciating me sending her off to find out her friend is gone. So spare me the bleeding hearts routine, because your appreciation won't get me very far if she doesn't like what she finds should she choose to go back to the hospital. If the odds are against her friend, they're also against me. Or haven't you noticed how fond of me your friend is," she asked me sarcastically.

"If you're telling the truth to us, she won't hurt you. No matter what happens," I said trying to reassure her.

"You won't mind if I don't believe you," she asked and then looked away from me as if she never really wanted an answer.

February 1, 2138 (Early evening)

It was time for another meeting with Tommy. The circumstances that we've been put in have made things urgent in every way. Kim is planning on going after Carrie and doesn't want to waste time getting to it. She also wants to get Dad's viral device from him so that she can take it with her in case she fails to get Carrie back. If he had it ready by now, we wouldn't have another chance to stop it from being used by her. We haven't had the time to prepare for what we were going to do to make our plan happen, and we wouldn't have much time now. I had to get with him and let him know what was going on, which I did. However, Tommy told me that Dad hadn't gotten the device ready yet. So our plan could wait, but there was another growing problem. It was looking more and more like Kim would be going by herself. Everyone is afraid for Tommy and me to be going anywhere and logic is telling people that Carrie is unlikely to still be there, or this whole thing is a trap.

Dad doesn't know what to think. He feels that Rachel is being honest, but doubts the idea that Carrie can be rescued. Mom can't let go of her visions of Tommy and me. She wants to help Kim somehow, but she's afraid for the two of us. Sarah is chomping at the bit to go with Kim and help her out of respect for everything that she's done for us. Tommy and I feel the same as Sarah. Karl's worried, but I think he wants to help her too. She kept her word to him and didn't allow anything to happen to us last time, and he knows it. Tad is the most torn about the whole thing. He thinks Rachel is lying through her teeth and trying to trap any of us that are stupid enough to believe her and go, yet he wants to help Kim as much as any of the rest of us. Maybe even more.

Kim won't ask any of us to go with her, though. Regardless of that, we can't let her do this alone. Even if it's all for nothing or if it's a trap, we owe her too much. I feel like she's part of us. Letting her do it alone would mean that she probably wouldn't come back. I can't watch her go knowing that she's probably going to die. Even if she doesn't care, I'm not going to let her go alone. Besides, I have some ideas that might help us. If I can get everyone to go along with it.


	29. Chapter 29

February 1, 2138 (Evening)

There wasn't going to be a tomorrow to go after Carrie as far as Kim was concerned. Kim took off earlier with Dad to go scout the hospital and try to get some idea of what she would be in for. During this time I started approaching the others about helping her. Some were easy to convince, and others weren't. First I went to see Tad. I had to at least be able to trust him not to hurt Rachel while we were gone if we could convince Kim to let us help her. Sarah was with him, so this was helpful.

"You know what I'm here for, right? Kim has earned our help and she needs it. Even if she won't ask for it, she can't do this alone," I said.

"Your Dread Youth friend hasn't earned anyone's trust here. I don't believe her, and I don't want to see anyone get hurt because of some trap she fools you into walking into," Tad said.

At this point I thought Sarah would speak up and support me, but she stood there next to Tad's bed in silence. Suddenly I found myself not really knowing what side she was on in this.

"I understand how you feel, Tad. And I don't blame you. But we owe Kim. The three of us owe her more than anyone else. You both know that. She saved you Tad. She was there for all three of us and she can't succeed in this alone. Just because we can't stop her from doing this, we can keep her from going alone. Please throw in with me on this," I said.

Sarah looked down at Tad, then back at me and said, "I'll do it for Kim. I'll go with you, but if this is some kind of a trick I'm going to kill that bitch myself. That is, if he doesn't get to her first, and that's a promise. If this is a trap she's as good as dead. And nobody better get in our way."

"Tad? What about you? Will you at least cooperate long enough for us to help Kim? Please," I asked.

At first he looked away from both of us. Then he turned back in my direction with his head still looking towards the floor. Finally he looked back at Sarah and reached out to take her hand. She took his and kept looking at him as he turned to me and said, "I don't agree with this. I want to help Kim. I do. But I can't believe her. And I can't sit here feeling like she's lying to us all and leading you into a trap and keep my mouth shut. What if something happens to you again, Amber? What if something happens to Sarah? Because of her? I can't live with that. If she causes anything to happen to either of you, nobody on Earth will stop me from getting to her and finishing what I should have already. Nobody."

"Do you feel like you owe Kim," I asked Tad outright.

"Yes. I might not be here if it weren't for her," he replied.

"If the only way that you can help Kim is to swear that you won't hurt Rachel while we're gone, will you," I asked.

"Oh, it's Rachel now? Not Youth Leader, Traitor to all Humanity Rachel," Tad responded sarcastically.

"Is that a yes or a no," I asked again more sternly.

"It's a no. If you can trust her, then you'll just have to trust that I won't hurt her without my word on it. Better yet, why don't we go to her cage right now? I want her to tell me what she's told you that's made you so convinced that she's not leading Kim and anyone that goes with her to their doom, Tad replied.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Tad," Sarah said.

"I'll be calm. I just want to talk to her for a minute. That's all. I'm not going there to hurt her in any way," he said back to Sarah.

"Please don't threaten her. Give her a chance," I said to him.

"I will, he replied as he got up and we all headed for her room.

We arrived at her building a minute later. It was dark inside until we turned on the light. Rachel looked up at us through the bars of the cage and remained silent as Tad entered the room. She stood up as she kept looking warily towards Tad. Tad presented his open hands to her to show her that he wasn't armed with anything and said, "I just want to talk to you."

Rachel kept looking at Tad as she said, "What do you want?"

"I want you to be telling the truth. I want to be able to help Kim because we all owe her more than we can pay back to her. I want to believe you and I want to be wrong about you. But I don't want to lose any of my friends because I allowed myself to believe what you've told Amber and find out it's all lies when it's too late," Tad replied to my amazement.

"What do you want from me," Rachel asked Tad.

"Have you ever loved someone," Tad asked.

"Yes, a long time ago. Before…," Rachel replied.

Looking at Sarah for a second, he looked back at Rachel and said, "I love her. She's everything to me. You might think that's wrong of me, but I do. She's been the other half of me for years. She's always been there for me, even at the worst points of my life. She's never left me. Please don't take her away from me now. Please be telling the truth."

"I did. I told them that I thought they were wrong to go. It's not safe and it isn't likely that the woman is still there. But it's possible that she still is and that's all they seemed to want to hear me say. I don't want to see anyone get hurt, but I told them the truth," Rachel replied.

"She tried to warn us off, Tad. She's been saying that none of us should try this, but Kim isn't going to let that stop her. You know that. She'll try to get to Carrie no matter what anyone says to her," I said to Tad as he kept looking at Rachel.

Apparently at a loss for words to say to Rachel any longer, Tad turned to walk back to his room when Rachel spoke up saying, "Be careful if you go there. If she's there they'll be looking for someone to try and get her. And watch the roof. The facility has had some additions made, if you know what I mean."

After her words we left. Sarah went with Tad back to his room while Tommy met up with me and we went to see Mom. I felt as though she would be one of the tougher ones to convince that helping her was the right thing to do. Both of us were really shocked to find Mom armed with a laser and looking ready to go already. I was expecting her to have to be convinced to let me and Sarah go, and here she was dressed for combat herself. Once we saw her, all that I could say was, "Mom?"

"What? You want me to fight this idea? I can't this time. Kim saved my children. I'm scared for us to be doing this, but I can't turn my back on her now. And I won't. If this is the only thing that I can do to repay her for protecting you, it's what I'm going to do. Because saying words isn't enough," Mom replied.

"I love you, Mom," I said.

"I love you too, baby," she replied and went on getting prepared to go when Dad and Kim returned.

As we left Mom to get prepared Tommy said, "They should be back any time now. I hope they have a good plan on how we're getting in there and finding this girl, because this really seems impossible."

"We have three long range laser rifles with scopes that will help us out a lot. But we have to assume that if Carrie is there she isn't going to be able to walk. I know that it's been a little while, but you had to see her when it was all happening. I watched her trying as hard as she could, but she couldn't get back up. Even as I was trying to help her, I think that she knew that she wouldn't be able to get up again. That's why she pushed me away and told me to run in the end. We have to be prepared for that. If she can't walk, someone has to do the walking for her," I said.

"Your dad or I can carry her back here if we have to. Hell, I think Kim would carry her back here if she needed to. If Carrie's there, she's coming with us whether she's able to walk or not," Tommy said.

"That means that you and Dad have to go inside no matter what. At least one of us should stay back and act as a sniper. There will be enemies on the outside of the facility that will have to be dealt with if we plan to get inside," I replied.

"Well, that's mighty tactical of you to say. Just where are you getting all of your tactical expertise," Tommy asked.

"Kim tells me that we should always expect the worst. That way if you do, you'll be ready for anything," I said as Tommy smiled back at me.

"Sounds pretty solid to me," he replied as we went off to talk to Karl before Dad and Kim returned. Hopefully he will agree to what we're doing too. He's softened up a little since the last mission.


	30. Chapter 30

February 1, 2138 (Evening continued)

Once Kim and Dad returned here the news wasn't great. It wasn't all bad either, but with the good also comes the bad. So I'll start with the bad.

The hospital is getting more attention than it did before. Kim said that they both noticed two manned interlocker turrets mounted on the roof at two of the corners of the building right away. One on the front left corner and one on the left corner of the rear. As one would expect, the front one is aiming outward from the front of the building and the rear is aiming out at the grounds in the back of the hospital. A biodread trooper is manning each of them rather than them being left automated. The idea came to mind that we could hit the two from a long distance with the rifles we acquired from the mall, but it won't work that easily with the troopers located at the front entrance and the back door that we escaped from the last time we were there.

Kim said they could also see two troopers at each of the two doors. Along with the two on the roof, there were at least four just on the outside that were going to have to be dealt with before we entered the building. Taking either of them out on the roof meant taking out the other also, and the troopers on the ground would certainly see the shots as we took them. We don't have anything that can reach far enough that doesn't fire a laser. The lasers would immediately draw their attention. This situation would mean that we would have to attack outright or risk being seen and attacked by the machines before we ever fired a shot.

As far as the good news went, it would be that the hospital was getting a lot of attention for a reason. With two hospitals located within the machines zone of control inside of the city there wasn't any reason for them to leave this hospital standing. Even if there was a reason, they could simply strip it of anything useful and leave it as a trap for any foolish person to walk into. They were there for some reason besides guarding an empty building. They needed it safe for a reason, and hopefully the reason is Carrie.

We're forced to leave Karl behind because of Alan and Rachel. Tad's vision is still fading in and out once in a while, so we can't risk him on this. This was limiting our options a lot. Six of us might not be enough for an attack like this. The plan is for two of us to hang back with what we call our sniper rifles and hit the two troopers at the turrets on the roof after the other four of us get positioned as close as we can to the building without being seen. Two of us will position ourselves to go for the back door located at the center of the South side of the building while the other two will position themselves to the East side of the building. The two to the East will be Dad and Tommy as it's going to be their job to get to Carrie if she's there and get her out. They're strong enough to carry her and move the fastest out of us all. Once the two rooftop troopers are dealt with, the two shooters will turn their attention to the two troopers at the back door. We have to assume that they'll have seen the shots taken on the two on the roof and will react by moving in our direction At which point either the two shooters will deal with them or the two assaulting the back door will.

We had very little idea what the troopers at the front entrance would do. They could cut through the lobby and make a stand at the back door. This was the most likely reaction they would have. Or they could stay where they were, or come around either side of the building. If they came around the East side we could catch them from behind with the two of the guys that would already there. If not, the two moving to the back door are going to have a problem. They'll be stopped and they'll have to deal with them or the shooters will have to knock them off too. Otherwise they could hold off anyone getting into the back door.

That's our plan so far. It's not great, but it's what we have. Being fast was going to be important. We either hurry or the ones entering the hospital were going to die.

February 1, 2138 (Late evening)

We're ready to go. Everyone has their jobs to do and we're ready. At first Kim was going to have Sarah and me hang back and do the sniping, but Mom is taking my place. Then she'll move in as back up while Sarah supports us as we run away. Kim really has a lot of trust in her to be hitting all of the targets she'll have to hit, but she's been teaching her how to use the rifles we got from the mall and get the most out of them. She hasn't had much time to learn, though. I hope she's been paying attention.

We went to see Tad before we left. He was sitting with little Alan so Karl can secure the zoo while we're gone. There were fewer tears this time around as we said what we had to say to each other before we left. Karl's moment with each of us was short, and he went on about his business. Tad's was longer. He was worried about all of us and you could tell that he didn't want to stay behind. It was hard for him to let Sarah go, even knowing that she would be behind us and would most likely not be entering the building. I cried as I hugged him and he didn't want to let me go either.

Then there was this moment with Mom and Tad that was hard to explain. He was surprised to see that she was going with us, and asked her about it. But she acted like she didn't hear him as she walked up to him and gave him a hug. She had to hear what he said because she was closer to him than any of the rest of us by then. He looked confused and then she seemed to be saying something in his ear. His look went away as she pulled back from him and they both looked at each other. There were tears running down her face and she started talking to him loudly enough that we could all hear.

Mom said, "I never knew the kind of a man you were going to grow up to be."

"I owe a lot of that to you, Karen," Tad replied as he smiled back at Mom.

"If I ever had a son, I would want him to be you. I love you, Tad," Mom said back to him as another new tear fell from her eyes.

"I love you too, Karen. What's wrong? Why are you talking like this," he asked her as his smile faded away as though he sensed something was wrong with her.

"Because it's true. You're so special and I don't know if you know it. Sarah knows how special you are, and I'll always know too," she replied as she turned away from him and started to walk out of the room.

"You're more special than any of us here, Karen. It's like God gave me two mothers instead of one," he said as she stopped at the door and looked back at him again and smiled. Then she turned and walked away, leaving him with the last word.

I followed Mom outside and I wanted to see Rachel one more time before we left. I thought that she might be asleep, but she was still awake. She looked at me with what seemed to be a worried look on her face. I asked her if she was all right, and she said that she was fine. Then she went on talking.

"As a friend, I'm telling you that you shouldn't do this. You're not a machine. You can get hurt or worse," Rachel said to me as I started to realize that it wasn't because she was worried about her own safety that she was saying this to me, but she cared about my safety.

"Are you saying that you care about what happens to me," I asked.

"I don't want you to get hurt for nothing. I've done a lot of things wrong in my life, but I never wanted anyone to get hurt. I just wanted the pain of everyone to be gone. Yours too," she said back to me.

"I'll be fine. I've had some good teachers," I replied.

"Reconsider this. Please," she said to me.

"I can't. This is something that I have to do," I replied as Rachel looked away from me to the wall. I walked closer to the cage, but she kept staring at the wall and didn't speak again. Her expression didn't change and it wasn't possible to tell what she was thinking except that she didn't want to look back at me any longer. So I said, "I'll be back soon." Then I left to join the others. It was time to make this happen, one way or the other. If Carrie was there, we were coming for her. Hopefully she will be and she'll be ready to be free again.


	31. Chapter 31

February 2, 2138 (Morning)

When I was about eight years old I had a teacher at school that I didn't like. A lot of other kids in school didn't like her either. We all thought she was unnecessarily hard on us because she was just weird and a control freak. One day the kids got tired of towing the line and several of them started acting out and misbehaving. I actually thought about throwing in with them and doing the same, but her reaction to the ones that already were acting up was to sit back in her chair and laugh at them all. After a bit of this I wondered why she wasn't doing anything about them. So after our class was over another two students and I went and asked her.

She told us that sometimes people think that they're getting over on someone, but in reality they're just cheating themselves. Someday we would all have that choice as to whether we would learn and work, or whether we would just kick back and cheat ourselves of something important out of that one day that we were in. That every day was another day like yesterday, but each one had it's moments of importance even if we didn't know it. And the older that we got the more we would see the importance out of each day. She told us that each day that we had before today would be a day that would affect the rest of our lives. So I'm either older and can see it more clearly, or yesterday had more importance than any of us could avoid seeing because it changed everything for all of us.

We had our plan in place. So we left to make it a reality. All the way down the trail we were quiet. Everyone knew that this wasn't going to be easy to do, and it was easier to just think about our own parts of the mission rather than dwell on what could go wrong. There were so many things that could happen that it hurt to think about them. So we left our feelings of security behind and focused on what had to be done by each of us.

Once we reached the bridge, Kim had us stay behind while she crossed first and headed for the field. During this time, we hid in the trees like normal. The silence ended though. Mom suddenly had a lot of things to say and looked at me and Sarah and said, "I love you both."

We both told her that we loved her too and gave her a hug from each side. She was still crying as we sandwiched her between the two of us on both sides. The she turned to Tommy and told him that she loved him too. He moved over to us and gave her his one armed hug and kissed her cheek. He looked at her and pulled his sleeve down around his left hand. Then he reached up to her face and wiped her tears away with his clenched sleeve and said, "You know it kills me to see you cry like this. We're going to be all right. Don't worry."

Mom looked back at Tommy as he released her and said, "You're good for her, you know?"

Tommy looked a little confused at this and said, "What?"

"You know. My daughter," she said and didn't try to hide us as a couple any longer.

Dad looked over at this point and moved closer to Mom. She looked away from Tommy and started looking at Dad. Dad looked back and said, "Karen? Are you all right?"

Another tear ran down her face and she said, "I love you, David."

I could see Dad's eyes start to get glassy as he looked at her crying in front of him. He reached out and took her hand saying, "I love you, too. What is it, Karen? We can go back if you want to."

"No, we can't. We have to do this," she said back to Dad as he moved to her and hugged her.

"You're trembling. Are you all right? Are you cold," he asked Mom as he moved back a little.

Just then Kim started speaking on the communicator saying, "Hey? Are you guys all right?"

All of us froze for a second not knowing what to say. Then Mom answered her saying, "We're coming Kim. Everything is fine."

"You're sure? You don't sound all right," Kim said back to Mom.

Mom looked away from Dad as she replied, "Yeah, Kim. You know, just jitters. We're coming."

"You don't have to do this, Karen. I'll find a way. I always do," Kim replied with her typical confidence.

"No. We'll be there in a couple of minutes," Mom said back to Kim.

Mom put the communicator back on her belt as Tommy and Sarah started off towards the fields. I waited for a few seconds, and started to follow them as Mom and Dad held back behind us for a minute. I looked back and could see Dad looking at Mom and I could hear her say, "She's a good woman, David."

I stopped and waited for them to start moving with the rest of us as Dad said, "I know she is, Karen. Why are you saying this?"

"I just want you to know," she replied.

"I do. That's why we're doing this. Tell me what's wrong," Dad said as he kept looking at her.

"Nothing. Let's just go," Mom said back and started walking towards the rest of us.

After a few minutes we reached the fields where Kim was waiting for us. Kim didn't have her joking demeanor that she had the last time we did this, and as Mom and Dad walked up she said, "Stop, guys. I can tell that something is wrong, Karen. What is it?"

"Nothing. Let's get Carrie," she replied as she looked at Kim.

"What is it, Karen," Kim asked again as Mom looked past her and walked on by. Mom started moving through the field without answering her and Kim looked at Dad for an answer. He kept looking at Mom for a few seconds until Kim spoke up saying, "What's wrong with her, David?"

Dad looked at Kim for a second and then looked back at Mom saying, "I don't know. She's just saying all of these things that seem out of place. I really don't know."

Mom was getting farther away from us and we needed to catch up, so we moved on. After moving through the fields and catching up to Mom we headed through the woods. The sticks crunched underneath our feet as we moved forward. Sarah pulled the scoped long rifle she had strung to her back off and started carrying it as she looked around into the woods. I needed to talk to her about her fears that Cane created in her before now and haven't. I wondered if she was still thinking he would be there somehow. I should have done it before, but there wasn't any time.

The trip remained uneventful as we reached the edge of the woods, and Sarah, Dad and Mom broke off from the rest of us. Dad helped them both up as he cupped his hands and lifted each of them into a tree. They took their positions in a couple of trees near the edge. We waited while they climbed up and checked to see if they could see everything that they needed to from the trees. Both of them scanned the back of the hospital with their rifle scopes and seemed satisfied with what they could see. Dad looked up at them and said, "We'll get into position and Kim will give the word. Just wait until she says so and then hit the two on the roof. If you miss, keep shooting until they drop because they'll know we're here anyway at that point."

"Don't worry Dad. We've got this," Sarah said as she started sounding a bit more like Kim these days.

Mom looked down and said, "I love you." She didn't seem to be speaking to any particular one of us, but rather she seemed to be saying it to all of us. Dad and Tommy broke off and headed through the woods to the right of us so that they could reach the East wall while Kim and I moved forward towards the rear of the hospital. As we moved forward Kim said to me, "Do you know what's wrong with your mother?"

"No. She just seems overly emotional right now. I think she's just worried about all of us," I said back to Kim.

"I worry about her sometimes. No mother should have to go through this. Maybe we can talk when we get back," she replied.

"Maybe. Wait, Kim. Over there," I said as I could see movement in the woods in front of us.

"Stop and get down," Kim said as we stopped moving and knelt down next to a tree.

A dread trooper was moving through the woods towards us as Kim took a knife out of a sheath she was wearing and said, "Stay here. Don't shoot it if I screw up. Use your blade or you'll give us away."

"Be careful, Kim," I said as she crawled to a large tree about thirty feet in front of us. The biodread trooper kept moving forward towards us and my stomach jumped up into my throat as it neared the tree where Kim was. I did as she asked and holstered my laser and pulled out my knife, hoping that it wouldn't be necessary to use it. As the trooper stepped forward Kim rolled around the side of the tree to stay out of its view. The trooper passed the tree and headed towards me when I hid my head from its view and I could hear the sticks and leaves rustle behind it as Kim jumped out from behind the tree and grabbed it. I looked around my tree again and could see her drive the knife into its neck. Sparks flew out of it as Kim tore the knife across the front of its neck, and it fell to the ground with a metallic thud as Kim let it go. Her icy look was there again as she looked back at me and said, "Let's go."

Dad called us on the communicator and said, "We're where we need to be. Are you there yet?"

Kim said, "We had a problem. Give us another minute."

They gave us the minute she asked for and we were at the edge of the woods right behind the hospital at the end of it. Kim said, "Aim at the one to the right of the door and I'll take the left one. As soon as Karen and Sarah start firing on the two on the roof, take it out and run to the position it had. I'll do the same as soon as I get the other out of the way. Stay against the wall and stay standing, and aim your laser over the top of me at the West corner of the building. If the two from the front come around that way, we'll take them out and move inside. If they come from the East, your father and Tommy can deal with them. Stay behind me and expect trouble in the lobby. It won't be empty, especially around the stairs and the lift."

I nodded and did as she asked me to do. The wait wasn't long as Kim said, "Now."

Two beams came up from the woods and streaked to the rooftop. We could hear the blasts hit and sparks fell from the left corner of the roof in front of us. The trooper to the left of the door turned its head towards the sparks falling from above and Kim shot it before it could make another reaction. It fell backwards into the concrete wall as the right trooper raised its rifle and I shot it back into the wall too. We waited while another shot came out of the woods and streaked around the West corner of the building before Sarah called out frantically on the communicator, "I missed it. Look out."

We ran to the positions along the wall where the troopers were and Kim did as she said and knelt down along the wall, aiming her laser at the West corner of the building in expectation of the trooper to clear it. A trooper started to come out the back door and I blasted it back in as Kim kept looking at the corner, as though she knew I would be there behind her to protect her while she did what she had to do. At this point the trooper from the front entrance still hadn't shown at the West corner like we thought it would, but it fired back towards the woods as we could see a laser fly from around the corner towards the woods where Mom and Sarah were. Suddenly I could hear laser blasts from the East side of the building. First one, and then another that must have hit a glass built into the wall as we could hear it shattering. Dad spoke again saying, "We got one and we're going in."

We now knew where the second trooper was from the front entrance and it was dealt with, but the other one was still firing at the woods when to more shots came from the woods and the firing stopped. Mom said, "I got it. Go."

As Kim tried to step into the door, another shot came from inside of the lobby and flew through the door as she ducked back. The lobby was dark and we couldn't tell where the shots were coming from, but as they kept coming they lit up the room as they raced in our direction. We could make out a figure behind the lobby counter and the lit up face of a dread trooper by the lift. After a few seconds of continuous fire from the lobby, shots started coming from another direction from inside of the building. Dad and Tommy must have been firing at them from inside the inner East side of the building. Shots flashed across the lobby and hit the counter, catching it on fire. A trooper neither of us had seen in the lobby before appeared from the direction of the stairs and tried to position itself to return fire down the East hallway when I shot through the door and it went down in a shower of sparks.

The trooper at the lift moved towards us and knelt down. It fired a shot through the door at us again and Kim tossed a grenade through the door towards the counter. I couldn't see where it landed, but I could hear it bouncing on the floor. Kim yelled on the communicator, "Fire in the hole," and ducked back behind the door. The explosion shook the ground we were standing on and I couldn't see either the trooper or the figure that was behind the debris that used to be the lobby counter. Kim and I ran inside and knelt down, trying to see who or what might still be there. I looked to the stairway where I could see a girl in a Dread Youth uniform standing at the top. The black haired girl from the mall, and I aimed my laser at her and said, "Stop." She fired at me anyway and hit the wall next to me. I fired back as she ducked behind the rail on the stairs. Suddenly I could hear Kim yell, "Amber," and another blast came up from the trooper that was at the lift before, but was now shooting at us from a prone position on the floor. It hit my upper left arm and knocked me into the wall as I screamed out in pain. Kim fired at it and finished it off so it couldn't do it again as Dad and Tommy ran in from the East hallway. Kim started firing up the stairs like mad to keep the girl from shooting me again. Sparks and chunks of the wall started falling all over the stairs as the girl ran up higher.

My arm was hurting a lot, but I didn't want to let on and told Kim that I was all right. As Kim looked at me with a worried look I could see Dad and Tommy move to the lift. Dad said, "She's not down here on the East side. We're going up."

Kim looked at me and said, "Come on, let's go. We don't have much time before they'll send help here." She got in front of me and we ran up the stairs after the girl.

As we moved up, Kim got on the communicator and told Dad and Tommy to watch out for the girl as they came out of the lift. Going that way wasn't the best idea, but we didn't want to let the enemy have one point to focus all of their fire at us and shut down our whole operation before we could get it done. Once we reached the second floor, we couldn't see the Dread Youth girl anywhere. That was scary, but not as much as hearing Sarah on the communicator again. We could all hear her calling to Mom saying, "Mom, where are you going? What did you see? Mom?"

Sarah's voice kept getting louder as she seemed to be pleading with Mom to go back or tell her what was going on, and Mom didn't answer as though she couldn't hear Sarah's words over the communicator. Kim took her communicator and said, "Karen? What's going on?"

Mom didn't answer. Kim said it again, but she still wouldn't answer. Then she said in an annoyed voice, "Sarah, what's happening?"

"I don't know. Mom seemed to see something and jumped out of the tree she was in and ran off towards you," Sarah replied in an obviously worried tone.

Dad started talking on the communicator then saying, "Karen, what the hell's going on?"

"He's here," she said as we could hear her footsteps hitting the ground as she ran and her breathing heavy.

"Who? What are you doing," Dad asked.

"He's not getting away," she said in a determined voice.

"Karen, tell us who you're talking about and stay in the trees," Dad said as she didn't answer him again.

"I'm going after her," Sarah said.

"No. Stay where you are. I'll go find your Mom," Dad said as the lift opened up and Dad came out of it and ran in our direction, where we were at the top of the stairs. Then the lift closed and Tommy stayed inside as it went up. Dad ran up to us and said, "Amber, what happened to you?"

"It's nothing. I'll be fine," I said back.

"I'm going after your mother. Stay with Kim," Dad said.

"I should go. If Carrie is here she might need help getting out. You can carry her and move faster than me," Kim said.

"I'll go with her, Dad. Find Carrie and we'll find Mom," I said.

"Hurry. She's after someone and that girl is still running around here somewhere," Dad said as he ran back in the direction of the lift and started searching the rooms on the second floor on the way.

Kim ran back down the stairs and I followed her. As we descended Kim spoke on the communicator again saying, "Where are you Karen? We're coming to help you."

"There's a hover tank at the front corner of the building and a guy in a dark gray uniform with a red collar just got off of it with a trooper. She's running towards it," Sarah said.

"No. Karen, stop. Don't go after it alone," Kim said in the communicator without getting an answer from Mom again.

We could hear Tommy and some laser blasts in the background on the communicator as he said, "There are a couple of troopers guarding a room on my floor."

"I'm coming, Tommy. Hold them off. Karen, get back to the trees," Dad said.

We had reached the bottom of the stairs and had entered the lobby by now, and we started towards the back door when we could see the dark haired girl already running out of it. Somehow she had gotten back down from the floor we were on and had gotten ahead of us. We ran after her as Kim yelled on the communicator, "Karen, look out! One's headed out the back!"

She didn't answer Kim because we could hear her already yelling at someone else outside.

"You bastard! You won't get away with what you've done," she yelled as we reached the door and couldn't see Mom or who she was speaking to.

"It's you," a male voice replied.

"Surrender," a trooper's voice said.

"No, don't attack her," the male voice said again.

"She's on the West side of the building, Kim," Sarah said frantically as she seemed to be out of breath as though she was running to where were all were too. Kim and I ran to the corner on the Southwest side and looked around it to see the dark haired female Dread Youth aiming a laser at Mom from behind as Mom was standing with the sniper rifle aimed at the overunit with the blond hair from the mall. Before we could react to seeing her, the girl shot Mom in the back as the overunit yelled "No!"

I yelled to Mom as she fell down and ran to her, not caring if the girl shot me too. I could see Kim in my peripheral vision moving with me along my side and aiming her laser at the girl, who seemed frozen by the reaction of her overunit. The overunit glared at the girl and yelled, "We needed her!" Then he raised his own laser and shot the girl, and she fell backwards against the hospital wall and to the ground. Then he backed away from us and boarded the tank. It hovered off as Kim and I turned Mom over and Kim said, "Hold on, Karen. We're here. Just hold on."

I could hear the footsteps behind us as Sarah screamed to Mom and ran up to us. Just then Dad got back on the communicator and said, "We've got her. She's here. Tommy's carrying her down now."

"Get down here now, David," Kim yelled into the communicator as her voice started breaking with emotion and tears started falling from her eyes.

I pleaded with Mom through my tears, "Mom, stay with us. We're here. We'll help you."

"It's too late. I can feel it," Mom replied as she struggled to breathe.

"No. Don't do this to me, Karen. Please don't do this," Kim pleaded with her as she leaned Mom upright.

"Take care of them. Take care of him. Promise me. Please, Kim? Please," Mom pleaded with Kim as she cried.

"Don't talk like that, Karen. You're going to be fine. I'll save you, like we saved Carrie. Just help me, Karen. Help me," Kim begged as Dad started running up from behind us with Tommy carrying Carrie behind him. I could hear Carrie say to Tommy, "Leave me here and help her."

"Don't leave us, Mom," Sarah begged as she was having trouble speaking through her emotions.

"He'll take care of you, too. Someday, if you let each other," Mom said to Kim.

"Just stay with us Mom," I said as Dad reached us and held Mom in his arms.

"I love you, Karen," he said as he cried and picked Mom up. "We're going home," he said.

"I love you," Mom said as she closed her eyes and Dad carried her back towards the zoo.


	32. Chapter 32

February 2, 2138 (Late evening)

You knew this would happen, didn't you Mom? You saw this ahead of time and didn't tell us. Why? We could have saved you. What could you have seen to make you follow the path you've chosen? How could you leave us like this, all dying inside? Dad's a broken man that I don't even know anymore. I don't think he wants to go on any longer. You were everything to him. He needs you to go on. How did you think we could fix this, Mom? I don't know how to. What the hell were you thinking?

Who was the person you were after? Was he that important? He's just some deluded teenager like Rachel. The only good and right thing he ever did was to kill that Youth bitch before I got the pleasure of doing it for him. That won't be enough to stop me from pulling the trigger on him the first chance I get. Because of him you're gone. And if it takes my last breath of air on this Earth, he's going to pay. I'm going to make him suffer until he begs me for the dark silence of death.

Damn it, this was supposed to be our happy victory. We rescued Carrie and everyone was supposed to be happy. It wasn't meant to be like this. Kim and Carrie are both feeling responsible for what you allowed to happen to you. Carrie was begging Tommy to put her down and leave her there so that we could help you, Mom. But you didn't let us. You didn't make it possible.

I need you, Mom. I made the agreement with God, not you. He was supposed to take me. Not you.

February 3, 2138 (Morning)

I wasn't able to sleep very well. I can't imagine anyone else being able to either. I wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all if it weren't for Tommy staying with me. I know that he's hurting inside too, but he puts it aside and only worries about me. I know that Tad stayed with Sarah too, but we still need to get with them and make sure they're all right. They both seem like the most vulnerable of us all, and we need to put on our strong faces for them. Both of them had enough problems without this. Sarah's irrational fear and Tad losing it again seem all too possible. Someone has to become Mom around here, and it's my job to do it.

After a tearful moment with Tommy, I thought about going to the lounge to get some water. I couldn't really think about food because I didn't want to eat anything anymore. That's when Tommy pulled a surprise on me. Apparently in Tommy's infinite wisdom, he and Dad both stumbled across a gift shop within the hospital as they were searching the rooms for Carrie. Rather than ignore the room once he found out what it was, he must have thought that it was a good idea to rescue a couple of other things from the East hallway. As I was hugging him and crying again, he sneaked something furry behind my back and popped it out around the back side of my head. It was a brown teddy bear with a pink bow around its neck. I didn't know what to think. That he was out of his mind to think of shopping while we were in the hospital or how damn good he was trying to make me feel during all of this. It reminded me of what Kim told me when she was talking about her life. When she was talking about the time she realized just how much she needed and loved her guy. I think this might be my time for that now.

After Tommy killed off some of my pain and bad thoughts with his gift, we went to the lounge and found Kim there. She was preparing something for Carrie and was waiting for it to heat up as she sat at the table drinking some water herself. I hadn't seen her looking as tired as she did now ever before. She looked at me when we entered the room and started talking to me immediately as tears started running down her face.

"Amber? Words aren't enough for me to use to say that I'm sorry to you. If there was any way that I could go back and trade places with her, I would. If I had the power to give her back to you, I would. I'd give up my life to see you smile again with her," she said as I interrupted her.

"I know you would, Kim. But I wouldn't want to lose you any more than I did Mom. And she obviously wouldn't have it that way, anyway," I said back to Kim.

"You think she saw this coming, don't you," Kim asked.

"I don't know what to think anymore. All of the things she said to us. The things that she said to you," I replied.

"I would never try to take your mother's place, Amber. I couldn't ever replace her in any way," Kim said back to me in a reassuring voice.

"Maybe she had a vision of something worse happening and did what she did to try to stop it. Maybe she didn't know this was going to happen," I said trying to avoid the subject of Mom's words to Kim. I knew what Mom had said and what she meant by the words, but nobody was ready for that yet.

Kim looked down at the table not knowing what to say. She wiped her face of the tears and looked back at me. She finally spoke again saying, "I can't make this right for you. But I will make them pay. I'm tired of the running and hiding. We're going to hurt them and take this damn city back. I swear, you'll have the life Karen wanted you to have. I'll make sure of it."

"Just promise me something," I said to her as Tommy stayed there in silence, allowing us to speak without interrupting us.

"What do you want from me," Kim asked as though she would give me anything at that moment.

"Don't die here. Don't throw your life away. Because when I look at Dad now, I think I'm looking at you years ago. I can see how you felt. I can see how much pain you were in. And deep down inside I think you wanted to crawl up in a corner and die. I respect you more than I can say, but I think there's a part of you that still wants to. Promise me that you won't. That's all I'll ask of you," I said to Kim as she looked at me with that subject changing look I'd seen before.

Your family is full of requests for promises, aren't you," she asked with less comedy about her words than it would have been any other time.

"Please, Kim. That's all that I want right now. I have enough to worry about with Dad and Sarah. And Tad is going to be a problem too. Please don't make me lose you too," I said.

"I promise, Amber. Look, you're not my child but I love you like you were. I won't go anywhere," she said as she got up from the table. As she walked to the door she said, "I'm going to check on Carrie and go try to talk to your dad. I'll get with you later."


	33. Chapter 33

February 3, 2138 (Afternoon)

Karl insisted that I let him look at me this morning. I should have expected it, but it came as a complete surprise to me anyway. I had forgotten about getting with him to let him treat my arm and give him an update on my previous injury. Kim wrapped it up well enough for me yesterday when we returned that I was too lost in thought to bother. Carrie was there with him too, which made for some interesting conversation.

Karl started by saying with his expression of strength, "Amber, I really want to at least talk to you every day for a while. Even if it's just for a few minutes, I want to see you and your sister too, all right?"

"What's talking going to do, Karl? It's not going to change anything," I said back to him.

"Humor someone who's been there. Besides, maybe it's just me that needs some company. Did you ever think about that," he asked as though I would be fooled by that.

"All right, I'll fit you in," I replied.

Carrie spoke up then saying, "Amber, I'm so sorry. I didn't want this for you and your family."

"I know. You don't have to say this to me, I know it already. That's why you pushed me away at the hospital last time. You tried to keep us safe, but we couldn't just leave you there. And Kim would have went there on her own to get you back once we found out that you could still be there anyway," I said to her.

"It's my job to do the fighting. It shouldn't have to be falling to your families to do it too," Carrie said to me.

Karl interrupted then saying, "It shouldn't have been a fight for any of us to begin with. But you have people that care about you too, Carrie. Somewhere? Family maybe? If we want to live it's going to fall to all of us to fight. None of you should have to be doing this at all. You're too young to have to be stuck in this bed, considering yourself lucky to be alive. And Amber is too young to be going through everything that she is too. They shot her too and we almost didn't reach her in time. All of you are losing your youth to this ignorant war and it shouldn't be happening. But if we don't have each other and keep each other, what do we have left?"

"Speaking of keeping people, will you talk to Dad, Karl? I've tried myself, but it's like he's not hearing me at all. He doesn't even look at me anymore," I replied.

"I tried earlier and he didn't look at me either. He was trying to work with the virus machine, but his hands were shaking so much that he got frustrated and almost threw it against the wall. He stopped himself, but I really thought he was going to throw it at the time. He needs time. You do too. It's not all going to go away overnight. I loved your mother. She was there for me for years. She was like my connection to Gina. And I don't mean any disrespect, but others have lost people too and we have to find a way to go on. I knew your mother like the back of my hand and I know that she would want better for all of us. I think that she's always tried to make life better for all of us in every way that she could. And we can give what she did the other night meaning, or we can choose to make her sacrifice worthless. I want my wife back, Amber. But she saved our son. Just like your mother helped to save Carrie here. I miss your mother, but that has to mean something. When it stops meaning something, they've won.

"I know this might not mean much to you right now, but I wouldn't be here if not for your mother's help. I have a little different definition of what family is to me. They're who's there for you and have your back when you're in trouble. You had mine at the hospital twice now. If you would have stayed with me the first time you raided the hospital, you would have died right next to me in the hospital yard most likely. You knew that and tried to help me anyway. I can't give her back to all of you, but I can be the sister you've never had if you let me," Carrie said.

"It means a lot to me. Consider yourself part of the dysfunctional family. The accommodations suck, but as long as we have Karl here we'll never run out of hot chocolate," I replied trying to break the wall of sadness overcoming us all.

Karl looked back at Carrie and said, "Come on, you know what we have to do. We've got to get you moving. Don't worry, I'll help you."

Carrie sat up and turned to the side of the bed she was in as Karl walked over to her and allowed her to put her left arm over his shoulders. He asked her if she was ready and she said, "Yeah, let's do this." They both raised her up to her feet and stood for a moment. "Are you all right," Karl asked.

"Oh my God, this is harder than I thought it would be," Carrie replied through her strained expression.

Maybe it was Karl's little speech, or maybe it was seeing her trying so hard to walk and make Mom's sacrifice meaningful in some way, But I forgot for a few seconds how bad things were and started cheering her on. It felt good just to be doing something positive, even if it was only long enough for her to walk to the door and back to the bed. Karl acted happy with the results. But Karl always reserved part of his opinion. The bad part. That is, until we left the room. I asked him how bad off she was and he thinks that she might have bled around or in her spinal canal because walking shouldn't be as much of a problem as it is. Not being a doctor, the first thing that came to mind was is there any risk that she could deteriorate and become paralyzed.

Karl helped her back into bed and spoke again saying, "Well, I have good news and bad news. Which would you like to hear first?"

"The good news," Carrie replied.

"The energy damage on the outside seems to be healing fine. And you're not going to be getting out of bed again for a while," Karl replied.

"And the bad," Carrie asked.

"I really need a portable scanner to find out what's wrong with you. I've needed one for a while for Amber here also, but your situation might have to be dealt with soon."

"You're scaring me. What is it that you're worried about," Carrie asked.

"The unknown. I'm not a doctor. I'm a med tech. It was my job to be the first person to reach the injured people and help them. In your case I would have only been able to keep you from moving and scan you. It would have been up to someone else to fix you more than that. Without a scanner I can't even do all of what I normally would. So the part where I jump in and do the doctor's job can't be considered without me at least knowing what's wrong with your spine," Karl said.

"You guys can't let me leave you exposed to the machines. I didn't join the military to have the civilian population dying for me. It's my job to protect you," Carrie said.

I spoke up then saying, "Right now you can't even protect yourself. And frankly, we're not having this conversation. We don't leave anyone behind. You should know that by now."

"And there you have it," Karl said before Carrie could argue. "Stay in bed and I'll be back to check on you in a while."

February 3, 2138 (Evening)

Dinner in the lounge wasn't what it used to be. Nobody wanted to talk because nobody knew what to say. It seemed easier for Sarah and me because we both had our male counterparts sitting with us, keeping us from being alone for any length of time. Dad never came in to eat at all. I didn't feel like eating much, but Tommy stayed on me about it and I forced a few bites down. Sarah was the same as me. Picking at her food and looking away in thought most of the time. It's ironic to know how she feels and yet I want her to eat something at the same time.

Kim finally washed her hands and sat with us to eat while Karl went to feed little Alan. She looked around the table and noticed that Dad was missing.

"Have any of you seen David come in here," Kim asked us all.

"No, not yet," Tad said as he sat his cup down.

"He's pretty much staying off on his own and working constantly on the microcomp," Tommy said to Kim.

"So you've seen him, just not in here," Kim continued.

"Yeah, I saw him about thirty minutes ago and tried to talk to him. I don't think he was feeling it though. If you know what I mean," Tommy replied.

"Excuse me," Kim said as she got up from the table and took her plate with her.

After she walked out, Tommy spoke up saying, "Does she really think that she can get through to him right now?"

"He needs to eat something. Maybe that's all that she's doing," Tad said in a withdrawn voice.

"Maybe I should try to talk to Dad again," I said.

"Maybe you shouldn't," Tad replied.

"Why would you say that to me, Tad? He's my Dad. He needs me," I asked.

"Maybe he needs something else right now," Tad replied.

"What do you mean," I asked.

"I don't know if you realize just how much you look like…look, just let her try," Tad said back to me.

"Do you think that's why he won't look at me? Because I remind him of Mom," I asked.

Tommy took my hand and said, "Amber, he's not looking at or paying attention to any of us."

Suddenly Sarah got up from the table and started for the door. Tad turned towards her as she kept moving and said, "Sarah? Where are you going?"

She didn't answer him, but slammed the door on her way out.


	34. Chapter 34

February 3, 2138 (Evening continued)

I had to go after Sarah and try to help her. The guys got up and ran after me. All the while I wondered what it was that finally pushed her over the edge. Was it something one of us had said? Was it Cane? Was it Mom dying? Maybe it was the fact that we were housing someone wearing the uniform of the enemy among us. I think it was all of them.

She had gotten out of the room so fast that we lost track of where she had gone. Tad broke off on his own and started looking to the South of the zoo while Tommy and I started looking on the North side. He and I didn't find her before we came upon Dad and Kim together. I wanted to walk away and find Sarah, but a part of me couldn't go. I felt like I needed to know what was going on with Dad as much as I did Sarah. I had to hope that Tad would find her and be there for her long enough for me to listen in on what they were saying.

Dad really wasn't saying much of anything at first. Most of the talking was done by Kim.

"David? Do you want to take a break from that," Kim asked.

"No. I have to get this done," Dad replied.

"I know, but it can wait for a little while. Can't it," she asked.

"What do you want," Dad asked her without looking away from his work.

"The pain to go away," Kim said to him.

Dad stopped working and sat the machine he was working on down. He wiped his eyes for a second, and then said, "How do you do it? How do you live like this? Every single day of your life? How can you do it, Kim?"

"I don't know. Someone told me to learn from the past once. When I was young, Mark saved me one day after school. He almost died doing it, but he did. And it took me forever to see the message in that. I never really knew what it was and I gave up on everything until Carrie helped me see it. No matter how much I didn't want to go on, he saved me for a reason. Because he wanted me to live, David. He wanted me to be all right and would have died there making it happen because I made him happy while we were together. Like he made me. Like she made you, and you made her. They wouldn't have tried to save us just to see us live our lives in pain and never to be happy again. And no matter how much it hurts and we don't want to go on anymore, I can't make myself cheat them out of what they wanted for us. Can you understand that," Kim asked Dad as she started crying.

"I told Karl so many things years ago, when Gina was killed. I had no idea what I was talking about. I just wanted to say anything to make him and the boys better. And now I know what it's like for him. And for you," Dad said as he stared off to the side.

"You don't deserve this, David. You didn't want or ask for this. You didn't earn it for some wrong doing. It just happened because she chose it. Even though we don't know why, she did. She didn't do it to hurt you, David. We have to believe that she did it to save us. Like Gina did to save Tad years ago. Like Mark and I did when we joined the military years ago to save someone else out there," Kim said through her tears.

"Save us? I failed her, and everyone else here," Dad said as tears started falling from his eyes.

"No. We all tried to help her. She didn't let us until it was too late. You're a good man, David. You are, and we need you. The girls need their father, and the boys need a leader. And…I need you. I can't do this alone. I know that it hurts, but I'll help you. Please help me too," Kim said back to Dad.

"I don't know what to do, Kim. What am I supposed to do," Dad asked.

Handing Dad her plate, Kim said, "You can start by trying to force some of this down. I know how your stomach is tied up in knots right now, but you need this. Can you try," Kim asked as she sat next to Dad and put her arm around him. Dad didn't reply to her, but took the plate and ate a few bites. He was still trying to eat when Tommy and I left them to their moment.

Once we returned to look for Sarah and Tad, Tommy spoke up saying that we hadn't fed Rachel and still needed to. I had thought of it before when we were in the lounge, but had forgotten about it after seeing Kim and Dad talking together. Maybe Tad was right. Maybe Dad needed help from someone else besides me. I just felt like it was my place to be there for Dad. Then again, maybe I was just jealous that Kim could have such an effect on Dad where the rest of us couldn't. Either way, she's helping him somehow. I just wish it didn't have to hurt them both to do it.

Anyway, Tommy and I fixed up something for Rachel and went to see her. She looked at us like she didn't know what to expect from us when we entered the room. Seeing her sitting there in that uniform bothered me a lot. The same uniform that meant the death of Mom. That's when I noticed that she wasn't wearing the hat with the symbol on it anymore. As if to save me from having to talk to her, Tommy took the plate to her. That's when she looked at me and spoke up.

"I didn't want this for you. I'm sorry that everything has led to this. I didn't want any of you to be hurt," Rachel said with sympathy in her eyes.

"We know that you didn't, Rachel," Tommy said as he sat down at the table in the room.

"If I could heal this pain for all of you, I would," Rachel said as a tear started falling from her right eye.

"I know you would," I said back as I found myself more amazed by her tears than the uniform she was wearing still. "Thanks for caring, Rachel," I said.

"Did you find her? Your friend at the hospital, was she there," Rachel asked us.

"Yeah, but she's really messed up," Tommy said to her.

"What do you mean? I thought they would save her, not hurt her worse," Rachel asked.

"It's her back. Karl thinks she either has some kind of spinal injury or something is putting pressure on her spine somehow. She's having a hard time walking at all. And I know that Karl isn't saying it, but she could still die," I said to Rachel.

"You can't tell what it is," Rachel asked.

"No. We don't have the tools to scan her and find out," Tommy replied.

"I can help you. If you let me," Rachel said as she sat her plate down.

"What do you mean," Tommy asked.

"I can see what's wrong with her for you. But you have to let me look at her so that I can do it," Rachel replied.

"You can see inside of a person with your vision? Why would the machines give you that kind of ability," Tommy asked.

"It's a necessary evil you might say. Dread Youth are humans. As such, they need medics when they get injured. Until such time comes where they make everyone into the machine, people like me remain necessary to stave off the suffering and pain," Rachel replied.

"You really think that you can help her," I asked.

"I'll try to," Rachel replied.

"We have to ask permission beforehand. At least from Carrie because it's her life we're talking about here," Tommy reminded us.

"I'll talk to Kim too. I don't know how she'll feel about all of this, but I'm sure she would agree to anything that could help Carrie," I said.

"Maybe you should bring Kim here. There are other things that all of you need to know," Rachel said.

"Like what? Something that you didn't tell us before," Tommy asked.

"It didn't need to be said before. But now that Amber's mother is gone, it does," Rachel continued.

"What are you talking about, Rachel. Just say it," Tommy said in an annoyed tone.

Rachel hesitated for a moment as she wiped the tear from her face, then looked at me and said, "Without your mother they'll come looking for you, and maybe your sister too. They think that you'll both have a very high chance of inheriting her ability to foresee things. And a special team is being sent here to deal with capturing you both alive. But they'll destroy anything and kill anyone that gets in their way."

"Bring them on. If they want to return to Volcania in pieces, so be it," Tommy said with a cold look in his face.

"You don't understand. You can't just shoot your way out of an encounter with them. They're enhanced and have laser ablative armor that they wear. It negates energy weapon fire," Rachel said.

"What? It negates laser weapons," Tommy asked.

"Yes. It can't negate stronger lasers, like the ones from the mobile laser cannons and such. But if you can carry it in your hands, it's no good. This forces most enemies to try to fight them in close combat, which is what they want you to resort to. That's where their enhancement comes in," Rachel went on.

"What enhancement," I asked.

"Adrenaline boosted fighting strength and abilities. They wear devices that shoot them up with adrenaline when they need it for combat. They're constantly boosted with it while their enemies are brought down by their sheer strength alone most of the time. They'll literally beat you into submission as they keep going while you can't," Rachel said.

"Are the adrenaline boosting devices shielded by this ablation armor too," I asked.

"Yes. They're prepared for an attack against the devices themselves. It's been tried before and they've armored them up to keep it from working again," Rachel replied.

"We've got to tell the others. Kim and your dad both need to know about this. But the way your dad is right now…" Tommy said.

"You go talk to Kim and I'll go talk to Carrie. She might be more convinced by someone who trusts Rachel more than everyone else. Otherwise she might not be willing to put her life in the hands of another Dread Youth again," I said.


	35. Chapter 35

February 3, 2138 (Late evening)

Carrie was asleep and I hated to wake her because she really needed the rest, but Karl felt like it was important enough to disturb her for a few minutes. And disturb her I did as she woke up startled as though she had been having a bad dream. I can't imagine why with life being so full of friendliness and all anymore. After a quick apology for waking her, we got right into it with her. After explaining that we had her and who she was, I told her that she was the one from the yard that tried to help her. I also told her that if it weren't for Rachel telling us that she might be there, we wouldn't have went back to the hospital and found her like we had. After telling Carrie that I really thought that Rachel was trying to change and see our side of things, she agreed to let Rachel try.

I left to go get Rachel when I ran into Tommy and Kim on the way, and they came with me to make sure there was some back up with me. I really didn't feel like I needed it with Rachel anymore, but not everyone felt the same as me yet. We arrived at her building and opened the door, and Rachel was standing next to the wall within the cage. I noticed that Kim didn't put her hand on her laser this time with Rachel. Not that she couldn't have gotten it out quickly anyway, but she was actually giving her more of a chance this time. I walked to the cage door and unlocked it, saying, "She remembers you and wants your help. And thank you."

"You might want to save that until I see what's wrong with her," Rachel replied.

After this we took the walk back to Karl's makeshift doctor's office and on the way I could see Tad and Sarah by the gate leading out of the zoo. He was holding onto her and it was obvious that she was crying on his shoulder. He had his hand behind her head and was holding her head against his shoulder, and I started towards them. Kim and Tommy noticed what was up right away and didn't say anything as I walked off towards them, but before I could reach them Tad noticed me and shook his head, then motioned me away like he had it under control. I could hear her falling apart at that distance and wanted to go to her anyway, but I turned back and left her with Tad. I didn't think that I could help her any more than he could. She had been there for him all of these years, now it was his turn to tell her the same things that she told him.

Once we reached Karl's building, Tommy said that he would wait outside. We entered and Karl had already helped Carrie turn over. Kim walked forward and said, "Hey, how are you feeling?"

"I'm all right. How's David and Sarah," Carrie asked showing little regard for herself and more for my family.

"They've seen much better days. That's really all that I can say," Kim replied.

"Are you ready, Carrie," Karl asked as if he was anxious to find out what was wrong himself.

"Yeah, I am," Carrie said.

Rachel stepped forward and looked down at her back. She started staring at her spine for a second with her eyes opened wide, and I noticed her left eye started getting brighter in color. It was kind of frightening as I could see the yellow pupil in her eye getting brighter and blending in more with everything surrounding it. After this began, I could tell that she was looking around Carrie's spine only because I could see her normal eye moving around. After a few seconds her eye started darkening again to its typical yellow color, and she looked at Karl and said, "It can be fixed. She has bleeding within her spinal canal. The canal can't be expanded in people and it needs more room to accommodate what it was meant to hold and the blood she's lost to it. We can drain it and relieve the canal of the pressure and fix the problem of it lacking the space it needs. Then she should heal over time if she doesn't become active for a while."

Hearing this kind of overwhelmed us all. Kim walked over to Carrie and helped her back to the position she was normally in as she pushed Carrie's long hair back out of her face and covered her up. Karl even smiled at hearing Rachel say this. I was happy for Carrie even though I was thinking about Mom too. At least if nothing else came from this, we could make Carrie whole again and she was safe, for now.

Karl spoke again saying, "Carrie, would you like me to do it now or would you like to wait until the morning?"

"If she will stay, I'd rather get on with it. The sooner it's done the faster I can get back at it," Carrie said.

"Will you help me do this now, Rachel," Karl asked.

"I'll tell you where you need to go with your instruments. Then I have a date with my cell," Rachel replied with sarcasm.

Suddenly it started feeling really wrong to be keeping her locked up like an animal after everything that she had done for us. After the loss of Mom and the fear of losing another one of us, I couldn't see enough people going along with allowing her to be free to pay me to argue with them right now. Still, I felt that something had to be done. Before I could speak up Kim started talking.

"Rachel, I'm sorry. You seem like a good person and you've helped us a lot. I won't lie to you. I want to let you go, but it isn't my decision alone. I have to consider the safety of the others here. If they want to risk it, then they have to voice their opinions first. I'll ask them on your behalf because of everything that you've done for us, but I can't promise you anything. Only that I'll speak for you and try, but there are other things to consider too. If they agree to let you go, what will you do? Where will you go? Back to them, Rachel? Because if that's where you would go, you'll be risking us all if we let you go. If you return and they turn on you…," Kim said before Rachel interrupted.

"I don't want to go back. Why trade one metal prison for another that I'd be living in eventually," Rachel replied.

"What do you want, Rachel," I said.

"I want what you have someday. I want someone to care about me. Even if it's just one time only," Rachel said.

"I care about you. I think it's safe to say that Kim does now. Karl likes everybody. And you might grow on Carrie if you stop freaking her out with your eye," I said trying to change the mood like Kim would have.

"She already has. Thanks for helping me in the yard of the hospital. You kept me from dying and gave me a second chance to do things right," Carrie said.

"Right? What is it that you think you've done wrong," I asked her as I could see Kim smiling like she already knew what she was going to say.

"You're going to do it, aren't you," she asked Carrie.

"If he'll still have me, yes," Carrie replied as Kim laughed and took Carrie's hand.

Kim was still smiling as a tear fell from her eyes and Rachel looked on with a confused look about her. Kim said, "He will. He loves you. I know that he's wanted you to change your mind forever. And he's still waiting. He made it back to the Carillon tower and they sent us a message telling us so. He's there waiting for you right now."

Carrie started getting emotional too as Rachel spoke up saying, "Wait a minute. You're both happy, right? But you're both crying like you're not? That makes no sense at all. And you want me to embrace emotions like this as though they're good things?"

"You'll understand someday, when you have them for yourself. Sometimes we cry when we're happy too. It has something to do with how hard it was to get to the point where we are now happy. We reflect on that for a second and it makes us emotional," I said.

"How is that supposed to be a good thing? When I cried it was because I was hurting," Rachel replied.

"I think it's the remembering how much hurting and pain that it took to get you where you are now that makes us cry when we're happy. Someday you'll see what I'm saying when you find that moment of happiness and you remember all of the bad things that you had to go through to get there," I explained.

"Whatever. I'm glad that you're all happy. You can take me back now," Rachel replied as I was reminded of what we were doing to her.

Kim looked back to us as we walked towards the door saying, "I'll talk to the others. And Rachel…I'm sorry."

Rachel didn't reply as we walked outside. Tommy was still waiting for us and as we walked together towards Rachel's building, I came up with an idea. I looked at Tommy and then told Rachel to stop for a second.

"What are we doing, Amber? Don't we need to be getting her back," Tommy asked me.

"Yes. But I'm going to stay with her," I replied.

"You are? Are you sure," Tommy asked as Rachel looked more confused now than she did before with Carrie.

"Yeah, I'm sure. You could choose to stay with the two of us too. If you want to," I said.

"I'll get what we need after we get her back, and I'll bring it back with me. Maybe Dad's hording some more hot chocolate somewhere and I'll bring it along too," Tommy replied.

"You would stay with me? In a cage when you're both free? You don't have to do this," Rachel said.

"Maybe not inside of the cage, but yes we do. I know that we don't agree on everything, but I know that you want much of the same things that we do. I know that you've been hurt in your life and you just want it to go away. We want the hurting to go away too. Even if that's all that we had in common, wouldn't it be worth trying to work with. At least you won't have to spend another night alone in a cage with nobody there with you. Not if you don't want to," I said back to her.

"Thank you for being my friends. No, I don't want to be alone in there anymore," Rachel said as we entered the building with the cages.

"Then you won't be. As long as you're here, one or both of us will be too," I said.


	36. Chapter 36

February 4, 2138 (Noon)

As much as I thought that maybe we would, we really didn't talk after we returned to Rachel's building. I imagined the three of us sitting there and trying to get to know each other better. Maybe we would understand her more and she would understand us, but I couldn't think of what I wanted to say. I just kept looking at the hat she had thrown out of the cage and onto the floor with the Dread symbol on it, and it took all of my words away before I could say any of them. Tommy tried to carry on a conversation and I can't even remember what he was saying. I just kept thinking about Dad and the look on his face when he asked Kim how she could live with it every day, and Sarah crying in Tad's arms. They weren't turning to me at all. They were turning away from me like I was becoming the enemy. Like they had forgotten how much they mean to me.

After ten or fifteen minutes of the two of them trying to find things to talk about without me, we all decided to just stop for the night and go to sleep. Tommy wrapped his arm around me and told me that he loved me, and we finally fell asleep.

This morning we woke up rather early because Kim came in and woke us up. It must be the military in her. The whole getting up early in the morning thing must be a hard thing to get away from once you started it. She wanted to get us all together outside for some reason that I didn't know at the moment. She also wanted us to bring Rachel along with us. After a few minutes we went outside and Kim was there, waiting with Tad and Sarah who looked at Rachel with a disgusted look on their faces. After we gathered around Kim in a half circle, Kim started talking to us.

"The reason I wanted you all out here is that we need to start some defensive training. There's a new threat that we've been made aware of that requires a different approach to deal with. You can't just rely on laser weapons to deal with everything for you. This is going to be one of those cases. We haven't run into them yet, but there's a team of specialists that Rachel has made us aware of that are basically immune to energy weapons. They're also physically enhanced by artificial means. They'll have unnatural strength and speed and can keep it up for an indefinite period of time. And they're going to be looking for us. You have to be prepared, and that's why we're here," Kim said.

"Are you saying that we have to mix it up with this team in close combat? How are we supposed to beat some freaks of nature like you're describing," Sarah asked.

"We'll beat them by being smarter than they are and using skill instead of strength alone. I can tell by the looks on your faces that you don't think that skill can outdo strength and speed. But you'll see what I'm saying. I can give you an example of how I can stop both of you guys right now," Kim said as she looked at Tad and Tommy.

"What do you mean? You think that you can take both of us at the same time," Tommy asked in a confused tone.

"I'll make you a deal. If both of you together can pull my arms apart from each other, I'll give you both the day off and I'll do all of your chores for you. If you can't, you'll stay here and pay attention to me more than you ever have before. Is it a deal," Kim asked.

"Prepare to lose," Tad said in an arrogant voice.

"I have dinner and dishes tonight, so you won't mind shining them up for me there. Will you," Tommy asked with a smirk.

"You talk a lot for two guys that haven't done anything yet," Kim replied as she bent her elbows outward so that each of the guys could get a grip on one of her arms. As I watched on I expected her to interlock her fingers and hold on for dear life, but she clasped her hands together in such a way as though they were hooked together by the fingers on the opposite hand. As though her fingers on each hand were a single hook that caught each other and her thumbs covered up both the top and the bottom of her grasp. I could see her muscular tone in her arms, but the guys had bigger arms than her and I couldn't see how she was going to win this. All they had to do was pull hard enough to straighten her fingers and she would lose her grip.

Tad and Tommy each went to one side of Kim and grabbed onto an arm. Tad took the left arm and Tommy took the right one. Tommy patted her on the back and said, "We'll try not to hurt you."

"You'd better worry about getting the job done, boy," Kim replied.

After this it began. Both of them started pulling and neither of them was getting anywhere. They started leaning back and putting their weight behind their pull, and yet they couldn't get her hands apart. In fact, she acted as though it was hardly any effort at all to keep them together. Their grunting to separate her hands continued as she started laughing at them, and Tad let go of her upper left arm and went for Kim's hands as he grabbed her forearm with his right hand and tried to pry into her grip with his left hand. Because of her thumbs being in the way, he couldn't get inside of her grip to pry it apart. So he went back to pulling on her upper arm again. Tommy hadn't stopped pulling on her right arm, and was wearing down fast as they still weren't getting anywhere near breaking the grip she had on her own hands.

Sarah seemed to be getting a kick out of Kim embarrassing the guys like she was, and managed a short smile. "Come on, put your backs into it," she said as she shook her head.

After another minute they finally stopped pulling and let her arms go. However, that wasn't enough for Kim to prove her point. She kept her hands clasped together and turned to Tad as Tommy bent over behind her, trying to catch his breath again. She reached out without separating her hands and hit Tad hard enough in the chest to knock him backwards onto the ground. Then she dropped down and spun her left leg around behind her, kicking Tommy's legs out from underneath him and he fell backwards onto the ground also.

As they both were stuck on the ground, Kim became stern in her voice and said, "Don't either one of you two ever let me catch you underestimating a female again. And that goes for you girls too. None of you can afford to dwell on how sorry you feel for the enemy just because they're of the opposite sex. Maybe you think that they're cute or have some other redeeming qualities about them that you appreciate. But appreciate this. They're still there to kill you, and me, and everyone else that you love. Any one of you could have broken my grip on your own. But you played by my rules instead of making up your own. I never told you that you had to take an arm and pull my grip apart. You just did it anyway because I stuck them out there for you. You both should have been kicking the hell out of me and forcing me to let go. But while you play around like a fight has to be fair, the enemy will let you play their game and beat the daylights out of you. There's only one fight that's fair in this world. The one that you walk away from. Do you understand me?"

Tommy spoke up saying, "Yeah, Kim. We get it. I'm sorry."

Kim looked at Tad and he looked back, shaking his head in agreement and she put her hand out to help him up. Then she said, "I want you to pair up. Tad, you sit this out for a minute and take a break. I don't want you to overdo it today. Tommy, you get with Sarah and Amber, you get with Rachel. I want you to show them the last drill David showed you both a few days ago with the knives. I'll be back."

Kim walked off towards the lounge and we paired up like she wanted us to. I could see Tommy wiping the sweat off of his head from messing with Kim and Tad knocked the dirt off of his shirt as he moved back a little. That's when things changed.

Rachel stood across from me and said, "Hey, I can show you a tactic that the Dread Youth uses. That way you can expect it…"

"I don't want to know anything that they've taught you, Rachel. Just pay attention and I'll show you this," I said as I handed her my combat knife.

"Whatever. Show me," she replied.

I could hear Tommy behind me saying to Sarah, "Pay attention. Quit worrying about what they're doing and worry about me."

I tried to ignore what was going on behind me and said to Rachel, "Come at me like you want to stick me with it from above and I can show you how to avoid it."

"Sure. Whatever you say," she replied and did as I asked. I was able to get her arm with the knife behind her back like Dad showed me, and that's when it happened. Rachel kicked backwards with her right leg and hit my knee. It hurt a little, but then I stumbled on a rock and fell down, hitting my head on the hard, cold ground. I could hear Tad say, "Amber, are you all right?"

I looked up and could see Rachel toss the knife away as she said, "I'm sorry, I just wanted to show you a way out of that." Suddenly all that I could see was the uniform she was wearing. It's like Rachel wasn't really standing there anymore and that she was trying to force me into learning what the machines had taught her. And I couldn't stand it anymore. I told her that I didn't want to know. Why couldn't she just listen to me? How could she not know that I wouldn't want to know how they taught her to turn on her own kind? That they showed her how to kill people? People like Gina, and Mark, and Mom?

I could hear Tad say my name again as I got up, and I started swinging. I punched Rachel in the face so hard that she fell backwards into a fence behind her. But it wasn't enough for me and I went after her again as she was leaning on the fence I had knocked her into. She looked up at me with her lip bleeding and started to speak, but I hit her again before she could say anything. She tried to cover up her head and face and I hit her in the stomach instead. This doubled her over and I could hear her cough like she had lost her air.

At this point I could hear Tommy yelling at me, "Amber, stop." But I didn't care. I felt like I was fighting for him too and he just didn't understand. In my hesitation to bring my knee up into her head while I listened to Tommy plead with me to stop hitting her I gave Rachel the chance to react to what I was doing. She was already bent over from me hitting her, and she drove her shoulder into me and tackled me to the ground as she fell on top of me. I tried to wrap my arm around her head on the way down, but she kept it free. She rose up and punched me in the face once and now I was covering up. The more she tried to fight me the madder I was getting and I started throwing punches from where I was rather than trying to cover up anymore. Rachel tried to grab my arms and said, "Stop," but I wasn't going to no matter what she said to me.

I could hear footsteps moving towards us from Tommy's direction and figured he was going to step in, but I didn't want him to. I figured I would wrap my legs around Rachel's head and throw her off, then continue my beating of her. It wasn't necessary in the end as I looked off to see who was making the sounds moving towards us, and it was Sarah. Before I could do what Kim had taught me to do, Sarah grabbed her by the hair and yanked it back, pulling her off of me as Rachel screamed out in pain. "Get off of my sister you murdering bitch," Sarah said. Rachel fell back off of me and onto her back. Then Sarah jumped on top of Rachel and started punching her over and over again and I could hear Rachel crying out in pain, but I still couldn't make it matter to me.

As I started to get up, Tommy ran by and grabbed Sarah. She wouldn't stop hitting Rachel and Tommy pulled her off of Rachel. Sarah kept fighting to get free of Tommy and said, "Get off of me," but Rachel started getting up and he wouldn't let Sarah go. As Rachel had gotten to her knees, I ran forward and kicked her in the face and she went down again, hard. I looked down at Rachel and could see her bleeding from the mouth and the nose, but I kicked her in the stomach again and I knew that I hurt her.

Tommy started yelling at Tad as he struggled to keep Sarah under control. "What are you standing there for? Stop her, Tad."

But Tad just stood there with this unconcerned look on his face and didn't move. He looked back at Tommy and said, "Stop what?"

"Damn it Tad, get her off of Rachel," he demanded as Tad looked at him all wide eyed.

"No, I don't think so. If she's that important to you, why don't you stop Amber yourself? Kim told me to take it easy," Tad replied.

Rather than try to continue debating with Tad, Tommy kept struggling with Sarah as she squirmed to get free again and he tried to plead with me to stop hitting and kicking Rachel. Rachel didn't look in any condition to keep taking any more damage as she rolled to the side and was holding her stomach and blood kept flowing from the wounds on her face. It seemed like she was having a hard time breathing and I didn't want to hurt her anymore. Yet I was still mad as hell and I knelt down by her and grabbed her by the hair and started yelling at her.

"I tried to tell you! I didn't want to hear your Dread Youth crap! But you just couldn't listen, could you? Well, can you hear me now? Huh? Don't you ever try to teach me anything that they taught to you. Why would you ever think for one minute that I would want to know how to kill someone's parents, like your miserable friend did when she shot my mother in the back. Is that what you want me to know? How to be a backstabbing bitch? Well, here I am. You've got what you wanted," I yelled in her face.

Tommy pushed Sarah back behind him and away from Rachel and me, and said, "Amber, she didn't want that to happen. She wanted us to stay here and not go. She was worried about all of us, Amber. She didn't want any of us to die. Why do you think she tried to help Carrie? Because she cares even if she thinks it's wrong. She cares."

Tommy stepped forward and knelt down beside of Rachel as Kim came out of the lounge. He pushed Rachel's hair back and tried to help her sit up, yet I was so full of rage that I resented him for it. She looked over at us and yelled Rachel's name when she saw her lying there on the ground. She ran up to us and knelt down on the other side of Rachel, and leaned her up. Then Kim looked around at me and started in.

"What the hell happened to her? I want to know now," she said to me and Sarah.

Tad spoke up then saying, "She fell down. You know, she got a little carried away with the training and all."

"Don't you dare stand there and lie to me. One of you better talk right now," Kim said as she looked at me.

She had to know that it was me, but before I could say anything Rachel spoke up saying, "No. I fell. I was trying to show them something and I fell off of the fence."

"The fence is over there, Rachel. How did you fall that far," Kim asked her in disbelief.

"All right, I was trying to escape and they stopped me. It's over," Rachel replied and struggled to breathe back in the air she used to tell Kim her own version of what happened.

Kim looked at me, waiting for me to tell her more than what Rachel had already spoken and said, "Amber?"

Rachel spoke up again saying, "Do you see the knife over there? I threatened them with it and went for the fence. They stopped me. That's it. I won't do it again."

"Whatever just happened here, it better not happen again," Kim said as she glared at Sarah and Tad. Then Kim and Tommy helped Rachel up and took her to Karl's building.

Sarah walked up to me and reached out to my face to try and help me, but I pushed her arm aside.

"What? She asked for what she got," Sarah said to me.

"She helped them, Amber. She might as well have been the one that killed Mom and Karen. Just because she's done a few things to help us doesn't change that. It doesn't bring them back to us. And somebody deserves to pay for that. There has to be some kind of justice for your mother and mine. Someone has to pay, and she's the one that we have," Tad said to me.

I started crying and said, "I shouldn't have done this."

"You didn't do anything wrong. She did by putting that gray uniform on in the first place," Tad said back to me.

"Mom didn't want this," I said as I could see Karl come to the doorway and start walking towards us. I ran off towards the gate before he reached us and I could hear him running after me and yelling my name.


	37. Chapter 37

February, 4, 2138 (Evening)

It's amazing. How easy it is to destroy and how hard it is to build. That notion applies to everything. Structures, artwork, trust, friendship. After all of these hours, I still can't believe what I allowed myself to do. Ever since we captured Rachel all she's done is try to help us. And now I've hurt her so badly that I can't see her ever trusting me again. All that I could see were all of the moments where we were in pain and that damn uniform she wears. And Mom. I couldn't stand to look at her in it anymore, trying to tell me what the biodreads taught to her.

I told her that I would be her friend. Some friend I am. All that I've done is drive her off and make Kim and Tommy mad at me. I don't know how to make this right, and part of me doesn't want to. Why does she keep that uniform on? And after everything, she protected me after I kicked the hell out of her. She lied to Kim for me. I had to fix this somehow. I know that Mom would have been ashamed of me, even though I did it for her.

I found myself trying to go to Rachel, but I couldn't. After a couple of attempts I could see Tommy headed for her building with something in his hands. So I called to him and he came over to answer me.

I said, "Look, I know that you're mad at me. But I'm sorry for what I did. I didn't want to hurt her. It's just…"

"I know that you're sorry, but she's hurt. I know that you're hurt too. I know that you miss your mom and Rachel is the only one here to be blamed for her being gone. I want to blame someone too, but it isn't her fault. She helped us, Amber. She's trying to change. I understand what you did, and why. But it was still the wrong thing to do. When Mom died I couldn't even stand the color gray anymore. And I wanted all of them dead. I hated the Youth more than the machines themselves. But when I look at it now, if Rachel would have been with us when this happened to Karen, do you honestly think that she would have just stood there and let her die? Don't think about the uniform and just look at Rachel herself. Can you really think that she wouldn't have tried to help her or tried to keep her from being hurt to begin with? Amber, she's not as fooled by them as you act like she is," Tommy said.

"It just hurts. That she would go on wearing that uniform when the cause of it cost us Gina and Mom," I said.

"I know. But hurting Rachel didn't make it any better, did it? Her life has brought her where she is and it's filled with pain and suffering like the rest of us. Can't you see how much alike she is to us, even through that uniform? I learned a long time ago that you have to look at people's actions, not people's clothes to see the true person. She's not Youth Leader Rachel anymore. She's just Rachel. Your friend, if you don't ruin it. You have the power to let her be our friend as best she can and be her friend too, just like you have the power to make her our enemy again when she's just looking for answers. Think about Rachel. Don't you think she would have tried to help Karen if she could have," Tommy asked me.

"Yes," I said as I tried to choke back my tears.

"Then let's go make this right with her, if we can," Tommy said as he handed me some of the black clothes we took from the mall.

"I don't know if I can," I replied.

"You can't if you don't ever try to. At least if she doesn't forgive you, you can say that you tried to make it right with her. Someone has to make it stop and try to make a change. Look at what letting things go is doing to Sarah and Tad. Anyone wearing those colors is the enemy to them, regardless of what they do to repent for what they've done. Regardless of what they've done or haven't done. Besides being a medic for them, we don't even know if she's ever even hurt anyone before. Not even one time. And she's a victim too, even if she doesn't look like it. They've numbed her emotions so much that she doesn't even know how she should feel about anything. How would she know how something so small like her clothes or her way of trying to help you would affect you? They've taken away more of her sight than they've given back if you really look at her, Amber. Rachel's just as broken as the rest of us," Tommy replied.

"I'll try. I want to make it right again," I said.

"That's a start. Let's go," Tommy replied as we moved off to Rachel's building.

Upon arriving at Rachel's building we found Karl already there. He was checking on Rachel. Both of them looked at us from the inside of her cage, but Rachel looked away quickly. I knew that I deserved that. Karl kept looking at me for a few seconds longer, as though he was feeling me out to see what might happen. I half grinned at him to try and put him at ease, but he looked at Rachel and asked her if it was all right that we were both there to visit with her anyway. She said that it was all right, but Karl looked back at me again and said, "This is going to be a friendly visit, right? Because she doesn't need any more of the craziness that happened earlier."

I said, "Yes."

After saying this he finished wrapping her abdomen and Rachel let her shirt fall over the wrapping. Then he walked out of the cage and headed towards us. He stopped before passing by Tommy and me and said, "I mean it. She doesn't need any more pain than she's already in. If you can't contain your anger, you need to leave and come see me. But this fighting each other has to stop."

He put his hand on my shoulder for a few seconds and kept looking at me. Then he left with going on about it any longer and shut the door behind him.

Tommy asked me to wait at the door. Then he moved to Rachel's cage and started talking to her.

"Rachel? Is it all right if we stay and talk with you," Tommy asked.

"It's your zoo," Rachel replied.

"Look, Rachel. We have some different clothes that I think might fit you. They're for you, if you want them," Tommy said as he handed the black set of clothes through the cage bars.

Rachel took them and looked at me saying, "Is this what it's all about? My clothes? Do all of you think I'm any different from one minute to the next if I have one set of clothes on the first minute, and then another the next? What are we? Gang members? If I'm not wearing your colors, I'm the enemy?"

"We want you to join us," I said as I moved forward.

"You want me to join you? That's not how it seemed earlier. And just who are we? Because more of you than not seem to want to punish me for everything that the rest of the Dread Youth do," Rachel replied.

"I'm sorry for hurting you. I was wrong, but I can't take back what I've done. I want to, but I can't," I said back to Rachel.

"I can't take anything back either. I can't change anything that I've done or anything that's happened because of it. I thought this uniform meant something more than just being an oppressor of everyone's will. I wanted it to mean something good for everyone, and I still do. I worked hard to make it something worth being proud of. I never wanted it to mean what it does to you now, Amber," Rachel replied.

"I know. But the cause you say was meant for something so good took Tommy's mother and mine away from us. And you keep wearing it like it's still something to be proud of. How can you still wear it and think that? As they take us away from each other one at a time, how can you look in the mirror and respect that anymore," I asked.

"Do you want to know what color the adrenaline boosters will be wearing when they come for you and your sister? They'll be dressed in black. And if they succeed or kill any of you, will you look at me in these black clothes that you're giving to me like I'm still one of them? Will it ever matter what I'm wearing as far as getting you to see me, and not the outside of me that you really see? Can I ever mean more to any of you than what I'm wearing," Rachel asked.

I didn't have any answer for her. She was right. All I was looking at was what she looked like, not who she really was. I could see through the uniform before, but I let myself lose that. Mom warned me, and I failed to do as she wanted me to. I kept trying to come up with an answer, but there wasn't one. During my searching for the right words, Rachel spoke to me again.

"That girl that you keep referring to that shot your mother wasn't me. And I'm sorry for what she did to all of you. I wish I could take it all back, but I can't. But think about this. That girl is a victim too. She deserved to die for what she's done, but that girl used to be a different person with a name. Her name was Tara and she used to be my friend, until they made a murderer out of her. And not one time have I ever thrown that in your face because Tara was wrong to do what she did and she cost you more than I can ever give back to you. But I lost my friend too, and now I'm losing you. Doesn't that mean anything," Rachel said.

Tommy spoke up saying, "I'm sorry, Rachel. I am. But you want a second chance, don't you? A chance to try again and start over? Well, that's all that Amber and the rest of us are asking for from you too. Another chance to make things right. We'll give that to you. Will you give one back to us," Tommy asked.

Rachel looked back at Tommy confused, not knowing how to answer. Then it hit me. I needed to show her that we're not different from each other, and I knew how. I looked at Tommy and said, "Go get Kim."

"What? Why do want her right now," Tommy asked.

"Please, just go get her," I said.

Without speaking again he left to get Kim for me while Rachel and I waited in silence. After a minute Tommy returned with Kim like I asked him to.

"What's going on here? Why did you want me, Amber," Kim asked me.

"I did Rachel wrong. We have rules around here and I broke them. I attacked Rachel and I was wrong. She wasn't trying to escape like she claimed, she was trying to help me learn something and I took it wrong. I turned on her. I hurt one of our own, and I deserve to be punished. If she deserves to be in a cage, so do I. I was responsible for what happened and I want you to treat me like you would one of your squad if they disobeyed you," I said to Kim.

"Amber, the last one of my squad that disobeyed me I executed," Kim said in a blunt voice.

"Amber, why are you doing this," Tommy asked me.

"Because I was wrong. Rachel hasn't done anything more than try to help us, and she's locked up. Yet I attacked and hurt her and I get to stay free? It's not right and I want to be treated like everyone would treat her," I replied.

"Rachel was the enemy. You're not, Amber," Kim said to me.

"Yes, I am. Rachel isn't the enemy anymore, Kim. She's one of us, and I let myself lose sight of that trying to make what happened to Mom right somehow. I attacked one of our own. She's one of us and I hurt her on purpose. You can't let this go, you have to treat us like equals," I said to Kim.

"Your father won't agree with this, Amber," Kim said.

"Damn it Kim, do your duty and lock me up. Stop making me better or more important than Rachel is. I'm not any better and I'm not any different than her. If she did the same thing to me, you'd be locking her up and not thinking about it twice. Don't treat me any differently," I replied.

"Fine. Get in the cage with her," Kim said with a smile.

"You don't have to do this Amber," Rachel said to me.

"Yes, I do," I replied to her as I closed the cage door behind me with a loud clang.

"I suggest you both spend some time tonight sorting this out and trying to make it right with each other, because tomorrow we're starting up again where we left off. And I plan on both of you being there too. Talk it out and get over it. We have business to take care of and I need both of you involved in it," Kim said as she walked out of the room with Tommy.


	38. Chapter 38

February 5, 2138 (Afternoon)

I spent the night with Rachel in a cage. I never thought about how I would ever tell my children about that one, until I was in it with her for about an hour. I have the feeling that thought didn't cross her mind at the time either. After an hour we couldn't seem to keep quiet anymore, so we started talking. And I told her the first thing that came to mind to get things started.

"How will I ever tell my children that I spent a night in a cage with you? If I ever have any, that is," I said to Rachel.

"I thought that Alan was yours. He is, isn't he," Rachel asked.

"Sort of. His parents are gone and we had to take him to keep him safe," I said.

"What happened to his parents," Rachel asked.

"They're dead," I replied.

"I'm sorry, Amber," Rachel said to me.

"It's not your fault. Besides, I didn't know them. We just found them, that's all," I replied.

"Was it the machines," Rachel asked.

"Yes. Apparently his parents resisted and they were killed. They must have missed little Alan during the whole thing. Mom and I found him in a burning house. We could hear him crying and we went in and found them all. His parents were already gone by the time we had arrived. So we took him and ran," I replied.

Rachel looked away for a minute with nothing to say. I could see the look in her face. Every time she experienced or heard of another death at the hands of the machines she would become buried in shame, as though she had killed them all herself. I don't know what it was. The look in her face, the children we were talking about, little Alan, his parents, Mom, it could have been any or all of them. But I couldn't hold it in any longer and started crying.

"Amber? What's wrong," Rachel asked as she moved closer to me.

"What isn't? Everyone's dying. I hurt you because the machines hurt me. And they…," I replied and could bring myself to say the rest.

"They what? Who are they, Amber," Rachel asked me.

"The biodreads. One of them shot me and…,"

"I know. I heard about your arm. I'll look at it if you want me to," Rachel replied.

"No. It happened again before that, and Karl thinks that it might have caused more damage than he could help me heal from," I said.

"Where did they hit you? Show me," Rachel said.

I raised my shirt up enough for her to see where I was talking about and showed her. Then I watched her as she stared at the area for a few seconds, and her left eye started getting brighter. When she did this before if was in a room that was lighted. Now, in the darkness of her cage, it started illuminating the room as her yellow, starburst looking pupil started blending into the white in her eye. It was like before and I could only tell that she was looking around in different areas because of being able to see her right eye moving around. She kept looking around for a minute that seemed like an eternity, and then her eye started to darken back to its normal yellow color. Rachel looked up at me and started speaking again.

"I can't see any damage left over. I looked everywhere that I could think of, but you're fine. They didn't hurt you so badly that you won't be able to conceive if you ever want to," Rachel said.

"Really? Are you sure, because sometimes I feel this pain…," I asked.

"Sometimes the human brain generates pain that we remember from the past, but only because we're remembering it. Not because we're feeling some kind of damage that still exists now. It's another one of those human flaws that they told me about that you probably don't want to hear me talk about. Either way, I can't see any residual damage or anything wrong with you that would stop you from living your life the way that you see fit to," Rachel said as she grinned a little.

"Thanks, Rachel. I've had to think and worry about this for so long because Karl couldn't scan me that I didn't know how long I was going to be able to go on without knowing. But nobody could help me or tell me anything," I replied.

"Well now you know. Stop worrying about it. You're fine, and there are too many other things that need to be worried about besides that," Rachel said.

"It's just that sometimes I didn't feel whole. Like it wasn't fair to…"

"To Tommy or to you," Rachel asked.

"To both of us. What would we do if we managed to stay together and see a good future ahead of us? Would he want to stay with me if he knew that we couldn't ever have everything in life? Maybe he wouldn't want to," I said.

"Guys will want you no matter what. They're all alike. You have what they need so they'll always be there, whether you want them to be or not," Rachel replied.

"Tommy's not like that. Why do you feel that way," I asked.

"Because it's true. They're guys Amber. They all act like they care about you, but they only care about themselves," Rachel replied.

"I feel sorry for you, Rachel. What made you this way? If you could see my Dad right now you wouldn't be saying that," I said.

"Look, maybe your father and a few others are the exception. But most guys will only use you for one thing and then discard you like you're an old news feed. And if you don't cooperate with them or use them to procreate when you want to, they'll take what they want from you," Rachel said.

"Rachel? What are you saying? Is that something that you learned from being in the Dread Youth," I asked.

"I really don't want to talk about this anymore. You're fine, so get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow and there's a lot that needs to be done. I want to be ready for it," Rachel said.

"Rachel?"

"Drop it and go to sleep, Amber. We need to get some rest before the morning comes. Remember? What I just said to you," Rachel replied in an annoyed voice.

"Good night, Rachel," I said.

"Have a rejuvenating, rest period," Rachel replied as I laughed.

"What's so funny? I wasn't joking with you," Rachel said.

"Nothing. Really, just get some rest Rachel. And thank you," I said.


	39. Chapter 39

February 5, 2138 (Afternoon continued)

I think I slept for about three hours. At about 3:00AM I was awakened by someone talking. At first I thought I was having another realistic dream, but I wasn't. It was Rachel's voice that I was hearing. At first I stayed where I was, trying to make out what she was saying. I couldn't tell what the words were, so I sat up and moved closer to her as she kept talking. That's when I noticed that she wasn't talking to me, but she seemed to be having a dream and was talking in her sleep.

I kept watching and listening to her as she was sleeping on her back, and she would turn her head back and forth, continuing to say words here and there. When I had gotten close enough that I could touch her I could hear her better, but she was raising her arms as though she was trying to push something away from her as she went on talking to herself.

She kept saying, "No…stop. Stop. I said no…"

After saying this for a few times, she kept pushing at the air above her and I thought that something might be wrong with her or she could be sick. So I reached out and tried to take one of her arms so that I could wake her up, but she started kicking at me as though she thought I was trying to hurt her as she screamed, "No." She scooted herself back away from me and her eyes were open wide in fear as she looked back at me.

"Rachel, it's just me," I said.

"What do you want," Rachel asked.

"Are you all right," I asked back.

"I'm fine. Go to sleep," Rachel replied.

"Are you sure? Were you having a dream? You looked scare," I said.

Rachel reverted to her plain faced look and said, "Fear's for the weak and emotional. To which I'm neither, so I don't need your help."

"Why are you shaking then," I replied as I could see her hands trembling.

"It's cold in here. Go back to sleep," Rachel replied.

"I'll listen if you want to talk to me," I said.

"The last time I thought I could talk to you look at what happened. Open your eyes and look at where we are," Rachel replied.

"Look, I'm sorry. I was wrong, but it doesn't mean that I don't want to help," I said back to her.

"And I've told you that I don't need your help. I'm sorry that I woke you, but I don't need anything from you. Now if you want to stay up, that's your business. I'm going back to sleep," Rachel replied as she lowered herself back down and covered up with a blanket to keep me from seeing her still shaking.

I didn't think talking to her any longer would do me any good, so I took my blanket and put it over her own. She didn't respond to it at all. She just remained there with her eyes closed. So I moved back to my own space in the cage and went back to trying to sleep myself. I looked back at her one last time before closing my eyes, and I could see her looking at me for a second through her right eye as she kept the left one closed. She quickly closed it again when she saw me looking in her direction.

This morning we were awakened by Kim again and she let us out of the cage. She wanted us to all gather around in front of her building, in front of the steps. Rachel put on the black clothes that we gave to her and I said, "Do they fit all right?"

"Does it really matter," Rachel replied.

"Yes. It does to me," I said.

"I thought it was all about the color. You know, this is a rather festive shade of black. I think it brings out the light in my eyes," Rachel replied so sarcastically, but with a dead serious look on her face.

"It's a better color to keep you safe in," I said.

"Are you sure that it's not a better color for you to convert me to your way of thinking in? That if you dress me up like something different, that'll make it so for everyone? That your family and friends will start thinking I'm something different, and I'll start thinking differently too," she asked me as she stared back at me for an answer that I didn't have.

"Spare me your rainbow colored world stories and just leave me alone," Rachel said as she walked out to do as Kim wanted.

Without speaking to each other any more, I followed Rachel to Kim's building where the others were already waiting. Kim was standing on the porch looking down on them all, and Rachel and me too once we walked up. Sarah looked at Rachel with disgust again, and Tad had a weird grin cracked on the side of his mouth as he stared at Rachel. She acted as though they weren't there and seemed not to be looking at them. Tommy walked up to me and said, "Are you all right?"

Rachel spoke up before I could answer saying, "She's fine. Doesn't she look fine? Don't we both look fine? Thanks for asking."

"Shut up," Tad said with a disgusted look now too.

"Stop it. Both of you," Kim said to them quickly.

"What? It's a free world, right? It's supposed to be anyway. Besides, I was kind of hoping that if she was going to spend some time talking, she could show me how fast she can climb that fence and teach me how not to get shot in the back as she's running away from me," Tad replied with his grin back again.

Karl walked out of Kim's door at this point and came up behind her saying, "I think you heard what Kim said, son. Shut your mouth and do what you're told."

"Or what? What are you going to do? Give me a shot, or scalpel me to death," Tad spouted off sarcastically again as he stepped forward towards his Dad and Kim with his enraged look starting to creep out of him again.

Sarah put her arm around him from behind and put her hand on his chest as if to hold him back and said, "She's not worth this, Tad. I love you, just let it go."

Tad stood there glaring back at his father as though he wouldn't back down when Sarah spoke again.

"Please, Tad. Please?"

"Let's just get on with this," Tommy said loudly as he stepped forward and looked around at all of us with an angry look on his face.

After a long moment of silence and Sarah pulling back Tad away from the steps, Kim walked down one of the steps and started reaching for her collar. As she stood there she removed the rank bars from her right collar, then she did the same for the left one and placed the two sergeant pins on the post holding the rail along the steps. She turned them to where we could see them both, shining in the daylight in our direction. Then she turned back to us and started speaking.

"One of two things is going to happen here. The first one would be that two of you can be given the opportunity to become leaders around here and have an influence on what happens. You will become squad leaders for us. Anyone that has a rank patch on their sleeves or anyone above the age of 18 will be your superior. Much like it is now, but some of you can't seem to remember that. If you can manage to earn one of these two pins, you'll have a position of power to decide how things happen around here. That's the short and the long of that. If you want it, earn it. On the other hand, I could just leave them here, along with all of the rest of you, and go on about my life like none of you idiots even matter. Because frankly, I'm not sure that any of you still want to live. And just because I'm not always sure why, I do. Carrie does also. So I'm more inclined to take her with me. And if Karl and Dave want to come along, you can all figure out how to stay alive on your own," Kim said.

Tommy spoke up first saying, "We're with you, Kim."

"No. You're not going to be the spokesperson for the rest of these morons. Besides, you're not one of the people I was concerned about or referring to," Kim said as she looked around at the other four of us.

"I'm good, Kim. There won't be any more problems," I said.

"From you? Maybe. What about the rest of you," Kim asked as she looked back and forth at Rachel, Sarah, and Tad.

Rachel was next to speak saying, "What do you want from me? Really? What can you possibly want from me that I haven't already given to you," Rachel asked.

Before Kim could answer her, Tad interrupted saying, "Absolutely nothing."

Surprisingly Kim didn't say anything and let this remark stand long enough for Rachel to look back at him and reply to it herself, saying, "What's with you? I mean, really? What more do you want me to do? I'm dressing like you now. I helped your friend, Carrie. And when you said to me that you wanted me to be telling all of you the truth about the hospital when we were back in my cage, I was. I tried to tell Amber that none of you should go, but nobody would listen to me and I couldn't stop any of you from inside of a cage. What else can I do," Rachel asked.

"She helped me too," I said before he could answer, but he didn't seem to be trying to say anything as he glared back at Rachel with an angry look.

Rachel looked back as Tad stood there looking at her in silence, and finally got frustrated with not getting an answer from him as she yelled, "What do you want from me?"

"Is that anger? Are you mad? Isn't that wrong," Tad asked.

Rachel was now looking back at Tad without an answer.

"Are you experiencing an emotion? You know, one of those things that you constantly throw in our faces? Are you feeling something right now? Because, remember, you're not supposed to. And I don't need any friends like you that aren't supposed to be feeling anything for anyone. How would anyone here ever be able to rely on you? Because...oh yeah, you won't care. You're not allowed to, right? So, say Amber here gets shot again. Will you help her? Or will you leave her to die like you were told to? Like you let your overunit tell you to leave Carrie in the yard at the hospital and you left her there? After you walked away and you knew she was still there, dying, where were you? How do I know that you would allow yourself to care enough to help any one of us like we would help you? I'll never know for sure whether you would or not. If I was your friend, you would know what I would do. But in your case, I don't," Tad said back to Rachel.

"That's not fair, Tad. She tried to help Carrie. And in the end, she succeeded. And things were different then," I said.

"Were they really, Amber? I mean…really? Tell me, do you think she feels comfortable in that black sweater? Or does she miss the gray already," Tad asked me and I couldn't answer.

Tired of waiting for my answer, Tad turned to Rachel again and started walking towards her, saying, "So, how is it? Does it fit you? Or are you missing your gear pride apparel?"

Rachel didn't answer him either as Tad had moved right in front of Rachel. As he stared at her, he went on saying, "What? No words from you? No logical answer? Then, what reason should I use to trust you? Maybe if we pay you, you'll care enough about the credits to work with us. Would that do it for you?"

"I don't need any credits," Rachel replied.

Suddenly Tad's demeanor changed back to his enraged look, and he yelled in her face, "And I don't need you. These other people can trust you if they want to, but I never will. You won't ever get the chance to hurt me like Karen and my mother were. You won't ever hurt me, or Sarah. And the only way that you'll get to hurt anyone else here is if they're stupid enough to let you."

"I don't want to hurt anyone," Rachel said.

"You could have fooled me. Weren't you still proudly wearing that gray color when Dave carried Karen back in here? Weren't you," Tad yelled.

"You don't know me," Rachel replied gritting her teeth in an angry voice.

"I know enough. And, was that anger again? Welcome to my world," Tad said in a lower, more emotional voice.

As everyone stood speechless, he turned and looked around at all of us. Then he turned around and walked away like he just didn't care anymore.


	40. Chapter 40

February 6, 2138 (Evening)

The training session earlier stayed fairly calm, but Tad never returned to train with us. Sarah kept looking off in his direction and I could tell that she wanted to go to him, but she stayed and tried to make things work at least. Of course, keeping her with Tommy helped the situation. Kim really worked us over today, but it felt good. She taught us all kinds of things that we could do to protect ourselves. So many that I might have a hard time remembering them all. I particularly wanted to know about that foot sweep she pulled off on the guys yesterday. I feel like I learned it well, but I should have focused more on the other techniques she showed us, too. She expects us to remember them all quickly. It seems uncomfortable to her to be teaching us as fast as she's trying to. She doesn't have the patience that she had before and our behavior over the last few days hasn't helped things.

Kim is spending time with Rachel right now. I believe she's trying to get as much information from Rachel as she can about the team that the machines are sending. They have to have some kind of a weakness and we have to find it. If anyone would know what that is, it's Rachel. But will she help us or not? She took part in the training as though she was one of us, but people just don't understand why she does anything that she does. The not knowing is pulling us all apart. How will any one of us ever be able to hand a laser over to her? And yet we can't just leave her defenseless either. We need to know more about what Rachel wants before we can keep going forward. She says that she doesn't want to return to the machines, but what does that really mean, for now or forever? I'll have to find out what she wants and why before I can try to pull everyone together because I don't have enough answers myself.

Before I could do that though, I needed to see Dad and make sure he was all right. I feel like I've been neglecting him even though Kim has tried to be there for him herself. It's my place to take care of Dad and it's my responsibility. Kim has enough to worry about. It's not fair to her, and everything seems to be falling in her lap as though none of the rest of us can take any responsibility for anything around here anymore. It's no wonder she's getting frustrated with all of us. With the way I've acted myself, I've made things worse. And the things that Mom said to Kim at the end have to be wearing on her, too. How many things could Mom have seen to push Dad and Kim together like she did? When I was hearing what she was saying I couldn't believe it at first. Now that she's gone and Dad's a shattered man, I don't know what the right thing is for him anymore.

February 6, 2138 (Late evening)

I made my way to see Dad after eating dinner. I was surprised to find him no longer working on the microcomp. At first I thought that maybe it was because Kim was there with him, trying to get him to eat something. However, after a minute or so it seemed like he wasn't interested in it like he had been before. Over the last few days none of us could get him to put it down. Now it was sitting on a desk in the back corner of the room.

"David, please eat something," Kim said as she reached across the table and pushed Dad's dish closer to him.

"I'm not hungry," Dad said.

"Karl didn't do the cooking this time. I did. You wouldn't want to insult me, would you," Kim asked.

"I can't, Kim. I just don't feel hungry right now," Dad replied.

Irritated by now, Kim replied, "You can and you will. I know that it's hard and I know that it hurts, but you know what's coming and we need you. The kids need you more now than ever before. You can't just stop living and trying to stay healthy and think that I can protect your daughters on my own. I need your physical strength and I need someone to deal with Tad. You can match up against this team physically and if you're smart enough to make that machine over there, you can outsmart them. Don't make me do this all on my own."

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired," Dad replied.

"Then get rest. Then get up tomorrow morning and get going with the rest of us. Like the soldier that you are," Kim said.

"Kim? I'm sorry if my wife put a lot of things on you with what she said to you. I'm not sure where that came from," Dad said.

"You don't have to be sorry and she didn't put anything on me that wasn't already there," Kim said.

"You know what I'm talking about. I'm not just talking about the kids," Dad replied.

"And I'll say it again. She didn't put anything on me that wasn't already there. And you don't have to keep doing that," Kim replied.

"Doing what? What are you talking about," Dad asked.

"Calling her your wife and their mother instead of calling her Karen. You don't have to protect me from your pain. She was Karen and you all loved her. You're not going to hurt me in any way by sharing your pain with me. I'm here for you and I care. And I don't need you to think that I need to be protected from the loss of someone. All that I need is for you to do whatever it takes to get it together," Kim replied.

I thought about leaving the room and letting them continue talking without me in the way, but I thought better of it and came up behind Dad and hugged him as he sat in his chair. I kissed the side of his head and told him that I loved him. He said that he loved me too, which was the moment I was waiting for.

"If you love me, then eat," I said.

Dad didn't respond at all except to pick up a spoon and try to eat what Kim had given to him. As he stared down at the plate and kept trying to take bites, Kim looked at me and mouthed a silent, "Thank you." After this I thought that he would at least keep trying to eat, but only if Kim stayed with him because he knew that she would nag him to death if he didn't. So I made up a lame excuse to leave and left them together. I didn't want to admit it before, but Kim has an effect on Dad that I don't think he even realizes. I wonder if he has any effect on her, too.


	41. Chapter 41

February 7, 2138 (Morning)

This morning turned out to be more than what it was expected to be. Just when you think that things can't get more messed up than they already are, the unexpected happens.

We did the usual program of meeting up in front of Kim's building this morning for her session of training with us. At first the only thing different was that Carrie was able to be there with some help. Kim had a chair brought out for her to sit in and she had Sarah and I break off with her while Rachel and Tommy were getting worked over by Kim. Things seemed to be going fine for most of the morning. Although Carrie was doing things different from what Kim's approach was with Rachel and Tommy. While Kim was teaching them maneuvers while Carrie was trying to teach Sarah and me something else. It was more like mental training with her, and I thought that she was doing this because she couldn't actually get up and do everything that Kim was doing at first. I soon realized that it wasn't for that reason. It was to get Sarah and I to tap into our own adrenaline.

Carrie would talk to one of us at a time and make us think about being in the most dire of circumstances. And the threat was always presented to me that Sarah would die if I didn't manage to succeed in doing this or that. Mainly involving breaking out of a grip or lifting something heavy. Sometimes it would be running to somewhere and making it back within a very short amount of time. Likewise, the same mental training was put upon Sarah. Apparently we did well enough to satisfy Carrie.

On the other hand, Kim was having Rachel and Tommy trade off on fighting techniques they had both learned from the opposite sides of the fence they've both been on. Tommy was using things that he already knew and what Dad and Kim had taught to him, while Rachel would use the tactics that the machines taught to her or she would teach Tommy what to look out for. He took to this much better than I did. Rachel seemed rather quiet during all of this, except when she was sharing her own knowledge to Tommy and Kim. If she wasn't sharing her own knowledge or displaying a technique to them, she stayed silent.

After about ninety minutes of her mental conditioning, Carrie let Sarah and I take a break. As I went to get us all a drink, I looked up at the tree stand and could see Tad there, looking down on us and watching everything Rachel was doing. I wished that I could find a way to make Tad see things differently. I know that the only reason he was being the way that he was is because he cares about all of us, and it's hard to argue with that. His watchful eye has saved us before. But if he didn't ever give Rachel a chance, how would she ever prove herself?

I kept pondering that thought as I went inside of Karl's building and collected some cups of water for the three of us. Karl was inside, playing with little Alan. Seeing him giggling and happy reminded me of why we were all outside going through all of this conditioning to begin with. Alan stopped for a few seconds and put his arms out to me. I had to set the cups down long enough to give him a little hug, but that wasn't really enough for him as he kept his arms out after I let him go, wanting me to pick him up for a while. Karl spoke up at this point and said, "No, Alan. She has to go for a little while longer."

It really broke my heart to have to walk away and leave him, but at least Karl was keeping him happy. As I walked out onto the porch and started to walk down the steps, I looked to my left and could see Tommy and Rachel struggling to overpower each other and trying to trip the other one. It seemed so harmless at first, and that's when it happened.

In their struggle, both of them lost their balance and Rachel fell down backwards as Tommy tripped forward and fell on top of her. Kim laughed at this and found it very funny, not noticing that Rachel wasn't reacting to it with the same emotion that Kim was. I could see Rachel's eyes open really wide and a look of fear covered her face as she started screaming at Tommy to get off of her. Still off balance, he tried to pick himself up off of Rachel. However, Rachel squirmed and pushed at him and it made it harder for him to get up off of her.

"Rachel, stop," Tommy pleaded as he tried to get up again.

"Get off of me," Rachel cried at Tommy as she pushed him to the side and off of her.

By now, Tommy had such a dumbfounded look on his face that he seemed to be speechless. Kim had the same look as Tommy for a few seconds as Rachel didn't get up, but started crawling back away from Tommy as though he had become some kind of scary monster that was trying to kill her. Rachel was showing more emotion now than she had ever shown during the whole time she had been with us. Tears were running down the side of her face and she told Tommy to stay away from her as she kept crawling backwards, away from him. Tommy made it to his feet and reached out his hand to her as if to help her get up, but she was shaking and she kept crawling away from him and said, "No, get away."

By now Kim must have had the same idea as I had. As I sat the cups down and started towards Rachel, Kim got up and motioned for Tommy to stop. Tommy stopped moving towards her, but continued to try to talk to her saying, "Did I hurt you, Rachel? If I did, I didn't mean to."

By now I had reached Tommy and knew that something was really wrong with Rachel that Tommy couldn't help with. So I motioned for him to stay back too while Kim and I moved in to try to calm her down. Rachel looked so hysterical still and none of us knew what she might do.

"What's wrong Rachel," Kim asked with concern in her voice.

"Just keep him away," Rachel replied as her expression remained unchanged.

"He wasn't trying to hurt you. Why are you acting like this," I asked her as Kim and I both kept moving towards her. Rachel kept crying, but didn't answer us.

"Baby, talk to me. What's going on with you," Kim asked.

"I…I can't do this," Rachel replied to Kim.

"Do what, Rachel? He wasn't going to hurt you. He just fell. That's all," Kim replied.

Before Rachel would respond to Kim's efforts to get her to talk, Sarah spoke up saying, "Oh, what the hell? More of her drama?"

"Sarah, please. Stop," I said as she kept going on with her rant towards Rachel anyway.

"Look. It's just Tommy. See? Tommy. A victim of gravity, just like you. Get up and get over yourself," Sarah said with no sympathy whatsoever.

Carrie spoke up after this saying, "Sarah, please come over here with me. We need to get back to work."

Glancing back at her to see if she was doing as Carrie wanted, I could see Tad in the tree looking on with interest in what was going on. But by the time I turned back around to look at Rachel, she was already up on her feet and running off towards the North garage. She had gotten about half of the way there, but Kim didn't run off after her. Instead she looked at me and said, "Come on. Let's go figure this out." Then she looked at Tommy and said, "Tommy? Go ahead and take a break, then join Sarah and Carrie until we return. We'll be back in a while."

"I'm sorry, Kim. I didn't mean to hurt her in any way," Tommy said as we turned to catch up with Rachel.

"It's all right, Tommy. It wasn't you. It's something else," Kim said as we followed in Rachel's direction.

"I might have to leave you to talk this out with her, Amber. I don't know if she'll talk to me. But this has to be dealt with because she's starting to act as unstable as Tad does anymore," Kim said as we walked together towards the garage.

"She hasn't been opening up to me lately, either," I replied.

"You're a little bit closer to her than the rest of us are. Well, you were until the other day," Kim said.

"I'll try," I said back to Kim as we approached the door to the garage.

The door was standing open and we both went inside. We could still hear Rachel crying from back in the corner of the garage. We moved towards the direction of the noise she was making and found her sitting in the corner of the room. Her hands were covering up her face as though she might be able to physically hold the tears in with them. Rachel heard us approach her, and she looked at us as we moved towards her. Kim stopped short of her, and sat down next to her to put herself at Rachel's level.

"Rachel? Talk to us. Tell us what it is and let it go," Kim said to her.

"I'm sorry," Rachel replied as she kept crying and shaking.

"For what, Rachel? You haven't done anything to be sorry for," Kim asked.

"Yes I have," Rachel replied through her emotions.

"What is it, Rachel? What have you done," I asked.

"You can't know what I've done," Rachel said as she buried her head in her hands.

Kim started talking again saying, "You're not the only person on Earth that's done something they're not proud of. Let me tell you some things that I've done. I allowed myself to become less than who I really am, Rachel. I lost someone, and then I allowed me to lose myself. I became an addict. Addicted to anything that might help me forget about everything. I'd do whatever I had to do to get the next fix. I'd fight, steal, whatever I had to do to get what I wanted."

"Did you ever kill someone to get what you wanted," Rachel interrupted.

"I've had to kill before. Not to get another fix, but I have. And it's not something that I'm proud of, but I did what I felt that I had to do," Kim replied.

"I did," Rachel said.

"Did what," I asked.

"I killed someone," Rachel answered.

"Why? What happened to make you have to resort to that," Kim asked.

Rachel started crying again and said, "I did it to make him suffer for everything that he did to me."

"You mean…your boyfriend? What did he do to you," I asked.

Rachel went on saying, "He…he and two of his friends came home one night and I argued with my boyfriend about where he had been. He lied to me again and I was sick of it. So I had my things packed because I knew that I had a place to go by then and I tried to leave, but they wouldn't let me. I fought to get to the door, but one of them hit me and I fell on the floor. Then they…"

We knew what she was saying, and Kim leaned forward to hug her. But as Kim reached out to Rachel, she put her arms up as if to hold Kim back and said, "No. You don't know what I've done."

"I think I know enough. You did what you had to do," Kim said.

"No. I didn't have to go get my Dread Youth friends and go back," Rachel replied.

"What? You were part of them back then," I asked.

"They were recruiting me all of the time that he was lying to me and cheating on me. Overunit Vargus, Tara, and Brett were like my click back then. They offered me a home and friendship while he used and hurt me. I can remember that night like it was yesterday. After they let me leave, I went to my group. It was hard to walk and I was bleeding from the mouth and face when I reached them. Tara saw me first, and she ran to me and started becoming angry as she wiped the blood off of my face. But Vargus came out and told her to calm herself and purge her emotions. She tried really hard to let her anger go, but I think she was just putting on more of an act for him. Brett came out of a room in the back and helped me into a chair. Then Vargus looked at me and pushed my hair back. He looked calmly at me and asked me what had happened to me. And that's when everything changed for me. I never should have told them, but I did and they armed themselves and took me back to my boyfriend's place. I was scared as we made our way back, but Vargus kept telling us to let go of the emotions. He told me that the emotions I was experiencing had been forced on me and they would show me how to purge them from my mind. We pulled up and stopped short of the house, and the other three pulled out their laser pistols and headed for the front door. I couldn't believe that he and his friends were still there. One of the guys opened the front door and started to step out when Tara shot him from the walkway and he fell back through the door. Vargus and Brett ran ahead of her and me at this point and walked over the body of the guy in the doorway. I could hear movement inside and could see Vargus shoot at someone to the left of the living room as he entered the house. Then Brett and Vargus disappeared inside and I could hear them fighting with my boyfriend instead of just shooting him. I could hear him struggling with them and furniture being broken while Tara waited with me outside. It seemed like forever that the beating went on, but after a few minutes Vargus called to us to come inside. Tara grabbed my arm and took me inside. Brett had my boyfriend by the hair and had his head pulled back. His face was beaten so badly that it was hard to recognize him. Tara stopped at the door and closed it behind us. It made the room even darker and harder to see, and I walked up to him. Vargus handed me his laser and looked at me. Then Vargus told me that my boyfriend had forced himself, his friends, and my emotions on me and told me to kill them."

"My God, Rachel," I said and couldn't come up with anything more comforting to say.

"He looked at me through the darkness and told me that he loved me. Vargus looked down at him and told him that love was a weak and dying emotion. Then Vargus looked at me again and I did it. I just wanted him gone, and I made it happen. Now I can't take it back or turn back from what I've become," Rachel said.

"Look, you stopped them from making a victim out of another girl. And you saved yourself before they ended up killing you in the end. You have to know that that's the direction you were headed in. Don't you," Kim said.

"I murdered him," Rachel said.

"You protected yourself," I said.

"I went back with them and hunted him down like an animal. I could have just stayed away," Rachel replied.

"And what? How long do you think it would have been before they started worrying about the possibility of you reporting what they did to you to the authorities and came looking for you instead? I know that you feel wrong for what happened, but it's done. You have to move on. And as far as I'm concerned, this can stay between us and Tommy. He deserves an explanation and he's too damn smart to make up some lie to tell him. But other than him, anyone else is up to you. We'll keep it to ourselves and it can just be forgotten. Right Amber," Kim said as she looked at me.

"Yeah. It's all right, Rachel. It's forgotten," I told her as I heard a noise coming from behind us. Kim and I both looked back and saw Sarah standing there staring at all of us. She turned and walked away without saying anything to us, leaving us all to wonder how long she had been there and what she had heard.


	42. Chapter 42

February 7, 2138 (Evening)

The day continued on as though nothing had happened earlier except for an end to our training for the day. Sarah had been out scouting the trails with Tad most of the day after the incident with Tommy and Rachel. Kim went with Rachel to talk to Tommy alone and tell him of what we had found out, and there hasn't been an opportunity to talk to Sarah and find out what she might have heard us saying because I've had to take my turn in the tree stand. I've been torn the entire day about going in the direction that we are. Hiding things from each other now, where we never hid anything before. And yet worrying about what Sarah knows and how she would feel if she knows or finds out the truth about Rachel. I had all day to think about both of these, but I didn't come up with any solutions to any of it except for deciding that waiting wasn't going to work. During or after dinner I would find a way to get with Sarah and talk this out with her. As it was, I had to wait until after to ever catch up with her. Hours ago I would have hated the thought of waiting until tonight to talk to her. However, I found that there was an opportunity to talk to Tommy earlier while I was waiting to get with Sarah that I wouldn't have passed up on for the world. 

I was sitting in the tree stand when Tommy left Kim's building and I called out to him. As he approached the tree stand I could see that he was upset. This made me start thinking that I'd now have to worry about what he was thinking about Rachel, too. As this thought floated in my mind, Tommy didn't wait for an invitation to climb up and join me. Once he was up in the stand with me I asked him what happened inside of Kim's place.

"Rachel was crying, which was kind of shocking to see. Then she started apologizing for how she acted towards me earlier. I tried to tell her that it was all right, but it didn't seem to make her feel any better or make her any less emotional than she was being when I walked in. It was so bad that Kim had to explain most of the rest of it to me because Rachel couldn't seem to find a way to tell me," Tommy answered.

"So, you understand what she's been through," I asked.

"Yeah, I do. And it makes me feel dirty to be a guy," Tommy answered.

"What do you mean? You haven't done anything wrong to her," I asked.

"I don't know how to explain it to you. It's just that she was afraid of me. Me. All that I've done since she's been here is to try to make her feel welcome and safe, and yet she's afraid of me. As she was sitting there crying, I just wanted to give her a hug and make her feel safe again, somehow. But then I thought that she would feel like I was going to attack her again if I did that. I was able to reach across the table and take her hand for a few seconds while I was telling her how much I understand, but she didn't really take mine in return. It was like everything that I thought about saying or doing was wrong now," Tommy replied.

"She knows that you would never hurt her, Tommy. Deep down inside, she knows. She just needs some time," I said.

"I don't think so. You're not the one that she was backing away from as though you became some kind of an ax murderer," Tommy replied.

"She wasn't really seeing you, Tommy. She was flashing back to her past and what happened to her years ago. That's all," I said.

"Do you ever feel afraid of me," Tommy asked.

"No, of course not. And stop doing this to yourself. Rachel's problems aren't about you. They're about her," I answered in shock at his question.

"I'm not talking about her anymore. I'm talking about us," Tommy said.

"I don't understand what you're trying to say. There's nothing wrong with us. I don't feel threatened by you in any way. We've known each other for years and grown up together. I know you, Tommy. And I love everything that I know," I said.

"You know that I'd never try to force anything on you, right," Tommy asked.

"Stop it, Tommy. This isn't funny. How can you question me like this? Like I would think less of you because someone hurt Rachel like they did? Everyone knows that you're nothing like the guys that did what they did to Rachel. So stop this," I said in my frustration to get him to understand what I was saying.

"Do you have any idea how much I love you, Amber? That I want to find new ways to show you how much each day," Tommy went on asking.

"I know. I love you too, Tommy. Every time you walk away I can't stop thinking about you," I said as Tommy interrupted me.

"Every time you're in pain I hurt, too. When you're away from me it's harder to breathe, because I'm afraid that something is going to happen to you or something will keep me from ever seeing you again. And all that I want is for you to be happy and safe," Tommy said to me as he looked me in my tear filled eyes.

"I want that for both of us, Tommy," I said as I took his hand. At this point Tommy grabbed my hand in return and pulled it towards him. It was enough to make me look away from his eyes to see what he was doing, and I could see that he was holding a gold ring with two heart shaped rubies and four diamonds in it.

"Tommy? Where did you get that," I asked as if it was really important somehow.

"I was going to let you think that I got it at the hospital, too. But Dad gave it to me a long time ago. It was his promise ring to Mom and he wanted to see it used for what it was meant for. Not locked away in a box forever," Tommy replied.

Tears were streaming down my face by then, and I said, "It was Gina's? I can't take that away from you, Tommy."

"Then don't. Just share it with me. Please? I love you and I don't want to ever be with anyone else like we are. I want us to be together for the rest of our lives. Do you feel that way, too," Tommy asked as he waited with the ring in his hand for my answer.

"Yes. I don't think I could go on without you. And I don't ever want to have to," I replied.

"Then can we be us instead of just you and I? Do you want that like I do? To commit to something more than just today," Tommy asked me.

"Yes, Tommy. I think about our future all of the time, and I want mine to be filled with you and your's. I love you more than life, and that's not going to change. Ever," I replied as he put the ring on my finger.

"I'll always love you, Amber. No matter what," Tommy said to me as he kept holding my hand and I leaned forward and we kissed each other. I was so happy at that moment that I blurted out the first thing that I thought of, which was, "Are you sure you haven't been hanging out with Carrie for too long?"

"No. Just you," Tommy said as he laughed a little. Then he moved closer to me and we hugged each other for a minute before settling in next to each other as we watched on from the tree stand.


	43. Chapter 43

February 7, 2138 (Evening, continued)

I sat in the tree stand with Tommy for about an hour. After this time had past he stayed in the tree stand while I spent the rest of the afternoon playing with little Alan and trying to catch Sarah alone. One worked and the other didn't. Getting with Sarah before dinner wasn't meant to be, and I figured that out after waiting and hoping for another hour and a half. Rather than blow the whole day out of the water I got Alan and started playing with him outside. He was in a really good mood and happy to be playing outside for a while. I had the teddy bear that Tommy gave to me and shared it with Alan for a little bit. I would raise it up a little and growl, and Alan would react by covering up his face. Then he would uncover it and I'd do it over again as he kept covering his face up and giggled. After a time of doing this and playing peek-a-boo, I started trying to teach him more about walking. I held his hands and tried to help him along the way.

While I was doing this, Rachel came out from Kim's building. She seemed much calmer by this time and more like her normal self. As I looked over at her she spotted us. She didn't immediately come over to us, though. She stood at the bottom of Kim's steps staring at us. I have to admit that I wasn't sure how the others would react if I allowed Rachel to get near Alan because of how things were going lately. Besides Tommy, and maybe Kim, I couldn't tell who had any trust in Rachel and who didn't. What if Tad was right about things? I couldn't risk Alan over trying to make her feel more welcome and trusted around here. I wanted to trust that she wouldn't hurt him in any way, but he's my little boy. Nobody is more important than he is to me.

As she continued to stare at us, I kept looking back and Alan spotted her and stopped what he was doing. He kept looking at Rachel, and then back at me. After doing this combination twice, he finally pointed at her as if he wanted to know who she was. Rachel still hadn't moved on and I could only assume that it was because of him noticing her. Rachel smiled at Alan for a second, and he pointed at her again with his mouth open as if to say that he was surprised that she was showing him attention. I knelt down beside Alan and said, "That's Rachel. Can you say Rachel?"

Alan stared at me, and I repeated her name to him a couple of times more. He still wouldn't speak, and I took his hand and pointed it at Rachel and said, "Rachel."

"Wayway," he said back to me as I tried to hold in my laughter. I figured that was the best that I could expect from him for now, so I said back, "Yes, that's Wayway. Rachel could hear what we were saying and grinned at this slightly, then started walking towards us. As she moved towards us I didn't know what to do. I was thinking that she would just walk away, but she wasn't doing this. I wrapped my arms around Alan as Rachel continued to step in our direction, my mind racing to think of a tactful way to keep him away from her.

"Amber," Tommy yelled to me from the tree stand and Rachel stopped at the sound of his voice. As she stopped she looked up at him, and I turned to look up at Tommy just in time to see his eyes moving away from Rachel and back to me.

"Bring the little guy up here so I can show him the view," Tommy said as he gave me an intense look. I rose up from the ground and picked up Alan as I looked back at Rachel. Her grin was now gone and she looked on at me. Then she turned and walked away from us to return to her own building. I carried little Alan over to the tree stand and took him up to Tommy, and all the while I felt horrible for having to go along with something that would hurt Rachel's feelings again. Tommy admitted to not being happy with doing what he did, too, but he also felt like I was being foolish to allow her to get anywhere near Alan. I told him that wasn't my intention and I was thinking about what to do, but that I wouldn't have let her get close enough to hurt him no matter what. Tommy seemed reassured by this information, but dropped the subject anyway. Neither of us had the right answer for how to approach Rachel when it came to Alan and we both had bigger things to worry about. So we just let it go.

The remainder of the day moved on quickly. It was finally dinner time and Karl was cooking this evening. That was a good thing, although Kim was every bit as good at cooking and things as he was. She needed a break from that job, though. Tommy went out to scout the trails while Tad and Sarah returned to eat. After eating himself, I gave Tommy a peck on the cheek and he told me that he loved me and left for the gate.

Tad and Sarah entered the lounge together, retrieved their plates together, and then sat down together. As much as I didn't blame them for wanting to be together, I really needed a moment with Sarah without Tad around. As it began to sink in that getting with her alone during dinner wasn't going to happen with the way things were going, Kim walked into the lounge. Rather than get a plate, she went over and got a glass of water. Still thinking about how to get Sarah away from Tad for a few minutes, Kim turned around with her glass and said, "Sarah, can Amber and I talk to you? Alone?"

"No. If you have something to say to me, you can say it in front of Tad, too. Because we're all family here, right," Sarah replied sharply.

I was speechless at her reaction to what Kim asked. I figured that she would just agree and go along with what Kim asked of her. Before Kim or I could come up with anything to say, Tad started to get up from the table with his plate in his hand.

"It's fine, Sarah. I'll be outside," Tad said.

"No, you'll be right here. With me," Sarah replied as she reached out and grabbed Tad by his shirt.

"Fine, Sarah. Have it your way," Kim said to Sarah. Before Kim could continue with what she was going to say, all of us started hearing the bells from the Carillon tower ringing again. Kim stopped talking to Sarah and ran outside to listen to the tones. Not wanting to take the chance that there might be a message being sent to us from the resistance base, she would always listen to the bells and take down anything if there was more to the ringing than the music. Kim had talked about teaching us the code that the resistance used when they sent messages through the ringing of the bells, but hadn't gotten the chance to do so. Or she didn't feel as though she could trust us with the code, one or the other. Since none of us were able to understand the code yet, the three of us remained in the lounge after Kim ran outside. This left me in the odd position of making a decision to either go on with what Kim had started, or remaining silent and most likely provoking Sarah into bringing it out anyway. I decided to bring it out in the open.

"You heard us, didn't you," I asked Sarah.

"Well, just in case I didn't why don't you share it all with Tad, too," Sarah replied.

"Why are you mad at me, Sarah? I haven't done anything wrong to you," I said.

"Then why would you agree to keep secrets from the rest of us about Rachel as though you don't trust us to know," Sarah asked.

"I didn't just agree. Kim thought it was best for now, and I felt that way too after I thought about it," I replied.

"Are Tad and I the only ones here that aren't hiding things from everyone else? Are we the only honest people left here," Sarah said to me as her anger seemed to be building.

"I'm sorry, Sarah. Maybe it was wrong of us to want to keep anything from you two. But we have reasons for it," I said.

"Me? Am I the reason," Tad asked.

"Not so much as us trying to get Rachel to tell all of you herself. But the opportunity for that is gone now, isn't it? You already know," I said.

"Yes, we already know. No thanks to you or anyone else around here that seem to think that Rachel's more important than me or Tad," Sarah said to me.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hide anything or deceive either of you. And we never meant to hurt you by not telling you about what Rachel told us. Surely you have to believe that," I said.

"I don't know what to believe out of anyone around here anymore. What happened to us, Amber? What happened to us being able to trust each other with everything," Sarah asked.

Thinking of an answer for too long, Tad spoke up saying, "Look, we both feel sorry for Rachel. We do. As soon as Sarah told me what Rachel had said to you, the first thing I thought of was what Cane had tried to do to Sarah. And what we had to do about it. Don't you think that we want to believe in her and trust her? We do, but Rachel doesn't hide the fact that she doesn't agree with us about our way of living. She doesn't think like we do and we have everything to lose if we trust her too much and we end up being wrong. We've lost too much already. What more can we afford to lose?"

"And she murdered a guy that she said that she loved. She's not stable. How are we supposed to have faith in that," Sarah asked.

"Sarah, she was hurt. Just like Cane would have hurt you if it weren't for Tad and Kim and me. In the end, Kim killed him to keep you safe. How is that any different than what Rachel did," I asked.

"Rachel said it herself. She went back and hunted her boyfriend down and executed him. And I'm not tripping out every time Tad or Tommy touches me. What would she have done to Tommy if she had a laser in her hand earlier, Amber? Can you answer that," Sarah asked me.

"I don't know. But I know that she's tried to help us. In more ways than you two know about," I replied.

"I don't want to be standing over another grave, Amber. Do you? What if we arm her and she shoots one of our guys? What are we supposed to do after she shoots Tommy, or...," Sarah asked and then lost her ability to continue her question as a tear fell down her face.

Tad wrapped his arm around Sarah and said, "Don't worry. I'm watching her."

"Look guys, I'll watch her, too. But she can't prove herself if we never let her," I said.

"I won't let her hurt any of us. I feel for her, but I won't lose anyone else because we put our trust in her and she betrays us," Sarah said with conviction.

"Why don't you both try to talk to her? Let her explain her side of things to you. She was being honest about the hospital, and she might just be honest with you about whatever you want to ask. Besides, what do you have to lose? You can always go on thinking that she isn't worth your trust if you don't believe what you hear from her," I said.

"And why don't you try to talk to us the next time you have the idea to hide the truth from us about something? Because at this point I'm wondering what else you're hiding from us," Sarah said to me in her agitated voice again. She was right. Several things were being hidden from her and Tad. But, somehow, I was quickly getting the impression that Sarah already knew that there were other things. And maybe what they actually were.


	44. Chapter 44

February 8, 2138 (Morning)

The evening went by rather quietly except for the ringing of the bells from the Carillon tower. After a long while of hearing them, they finally stopped ringing. They rang for so long that I had left the lounge and my talk with Sarah and Tad to see Kim writing down something that the bells were saying to her as she stood outside. After the bells had stopped ringing, Kim walked off towards Dad's building and went inside. I never got to see her again after that. I wanted to know what the message was, but it would have to wait until Kim was ready to share it with us.

The absence of Kim left me to ponder on how ironic things had become. As Tommy and I were both acting more wary and distrustful of Rachel, Tad and Sarah were actually showing signs of turning the corner and saying that they wanted to trust Rachel at least. It's like the more that I work to try to put things in their proper place, the more they fall wherever they may. Sarah is angry with me, and not trusting me completely anymore. I don't know what I'm supposed to do any longer, and I hate it. I'm supposed to have the answers. I need to have them. Not having the answers isn't acceptable anymore. Mom wouldn't have wanted things to be like they are right now. All of us fighting against each other like there isn't an enemy out there already. There had to be a way of bringing us all together again.

Before I could go on thinking about what it would take to get us all on the same page again, Kim and Dad were wanting all of us to meet in the lounge. I could only assume that they wanted to share some of the message Kim had taken down with us this morning. That assumption turned out to be correct. Kim and Dad both had very serious looks on their faces and I could tell that they weren't in the mood to tolerate any of our disorder today. Something was wrong in a big way, and it was going to involve us in some way. It was written all over their faces. We didn't have long to ponder what was wrong as Kim brought in Rachel and started speaking.

"Listen up, guys. The tower sent us a message last night and most of what was sent in it isn't good news. The machines are on the move again and are on the offensive against the resistance. Part of their offensive seems to involve the power plant near here. Apparently some or all of the damage that we've inflicted on it from before has been repaired. The damage that we caused before must have affected power on the machine's side of the front line. Losing it in some of their areas of occupation have caused the resistance to take back some of the city. However, that was before now. A battle took place that left the resistance cut off from reaching the area where we are. This would naturally include the power plant, also. From what I can figure, it happened the night we went to the mall. Rachel confirmed this to me and that battle is what caused her group to be fleeing to the mall. Over the last week the machines have been cutting power selectively to parts of the city as they go on powering their own side of the front line. The resistance has power generators, but they can only go on powering things for so long before they run out of juice. The machines are waiting for this time to come, and then they're attacking," Kim said.

"How practical is that? Wouldn't the resistance have the chance to prepare for an attack once the power cuts out on them," Tommy asked.

"There's more to it than that. The machines are using a team of the enhanced troopers that Rachel told us about in their attacks. With their energy and laser resistant armor, they're being sent in first and throwing the resistance groups defending the area into chaos. The resistance fires on them with their laser weapons and have minimal to no effect on the troopers wearing this armor. By the time they're figuring this out, they're already being shot back at by the enemy. There's only so long that the defenders can hold out as they keep walking through their fire," Kim replied.

"This team is just walking through all of their combined laser fire? How are they ever supposed to beat that," I asked.

Rachel was silent before I spoke up, but she decided to start throwing in her two credits worth after my question saying, "They're not invincible. They can be beaten, but you have to beat the human underneath of the armor. Not just the armor itself."

"We haven't had much time to train yet, but what she just said is true. And it's part of what we've been trying to teach you. But that doesn't seem to be the priority any longer. The front line has been pushed back towards the park and the Carillon tower. Right now the resistance has held on to a huge Catholic church and school located at the center of the West side of the city. The facilities are large and they're defended well. The terrain suits the defenders because of the walls surrounding the buildings, and the fact that the facilities take up an entire block or more of the center West side. However, the Catholic school and church are located about five or six blocks away from the park. Between the facility and the park is nothing but what was once residential areas. If they lose the Catholic school and church, the machines will be marching into the park and the Carillon tower next. And the message noted that the power has been cut off to the Catholic facilities an hour before the message was sent to us," Kim said.

"What can we do about it from here," Sarah asked.

"The resistance thinks that I still have Carrie and Cane with me, and they want us to try to destroy the power plant and even out things a little. It's either that or they want us to try to take control of it from the machines and switch things around on them as we cut their power and supply the resistance for as long as we can hold it. They realize that it's not likely that three of us can succeed in attacking the plant again because they'll be ready for it after the last time. But they're desperate and have no other options," Kim replied.

"We can do this for them. I know that we can. Besides, we owe them. For Mom," I said in my eagerness to get some revenge.

"Your father doesn't agree with that idea completely. He thinks that we should prioritize getting our hands on a digitizer from the machines and implanting the virus into it. Only after that happens does he think that we should try to attack the plant. Or fake an attack on it and leave the infected digitizer behind for the machines to find," Kim said.

"Dad? We have to help them. We can't just sit back and let the machines win," Sarah said.

"Maybe you haven't noticed, but we haven't been. We've been doing what we can, but our priority of staying alive has been forgotten during all of this time that we've spent acting like part of something that's much bigger than us. It's up to Karl and me to keep all of you safe, not to make a private army out of you," Dad replied.

"That's crap, Dad. Those people need us just like we need them. Just because we can't see them from here doesn't mean that they're not important," I said.

"They are important, Amber. But not as important to me as keeping all of you safe and going on with my work. You know that what I'm doing is bigger than the loss of one city," Dad replied sharply.

"Guys, please don't fight. Your father isn't wrong and he's doing what he thinks is best for you. You all have done what you can do and have lost too much in doing so already. I can't ask you to do anything else, except for you to stay safe and go on living. Leave here and don't return. Find somewhere safe to go, away from here and try to stay hidden. If you go East there's a place called the Memorial Gardens. Karl can take you there and you can be safe there for a while. There are a couple of small buildings to offer you shelter and it's still near the water. You can still fish and it's surrounded by trees and trails with other food sources. If you go beyond that area you will also leave the area of the lake. So you really need to know where you're going beyond that," Kim said.

"What about you? You can't go against that plant alone," Tommy said.

"I have a duty to strike at the plant, with or without any help. And that's what I'll do. I want Carrie to go with you because she's still not back to normal. But she insists on going with me, so it'll be the two of us. She can't be talked into leaving me to the plant or into leaving her groom-to-be behind," Kim replied.

"I can help you. I might be able to get inside before you attack and help you from the inside," Rachel interrupted.

"I really think that you should go with the others, Rachel. You have a chance to be free and have a life that you haven't had before now. Why throw that away to come with us," Kim asked.

"Because you might succeed if I do. If you go alone you'll die," Rachel replied as her words sent a chill up my spine.

"You've done enough already, Rachel. Go with them and live your life," Kim said.

"No. I have things that I need to make up for, and I can do it better by going with you. Besides, it's my life and my choice to make and I've made it," Rachel said.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing from everyone. The longer the conversation went on the more we were breaking apart. Before I could dwell on this thought very long, Karl spoke up saying, "I want the boys to go with you, Dave. I'm going to try to help them take the power plant."

"What? I'm not leaving you to go to your death like that," Tommy said with conviction.

"Son, please. This has to be done and I want you to live. All of you," Karl said.

"Dad, you don't have to prove anything to me if that's what this is about," Tad said.

"It's not about that, son. It's about doing what I think is right and best for all of us," Karl replied.

"Dad, don't let this happen. We have to do this together," I pleaded.

"I have to keep you and Sarah alive and out of their hands and get my work finished. That's all that I have to do," Dad said as though his mind was closed to any kind of discussion at all.

"This isn't what Mom wanted, and you know it," I said as I tried to hold in my anger.

"Don't tell me what your mother wanted like I don't know," Dad said with authority.

"Do you? Then why don't you look Kim in the eyes and tell her that you're leaving her here to die," I asked.

"Amber, it's my choice to fight," Kim interrupted.

"He knows what I'm saying. And so do you. Mom saw something in both of you. I know that it seems wrong, but she did. She felt like you two were meant to come together and she could see it somehow. Why can't you," I asked in my desperation to stop us all from being separated.

Dad either couldn't or wouldn't respond to what I asked as he tried to look away. So Kim responded as best she could saying, "Amber, it's not that easy. You can't just say that two people are meant to be together and have it just happen. It doesn't work like that. And you can't just put someone on the spot and make it happen, either."

"We're all on the spot here, Kim. The rest of our lives are based on this moment right now. What happened to living your life like there's no tomorrow? Well, guess what? There isn't a tomorrow. If you feel anything for my dad, say it now. Before today is gone and he is along with it," I said to Kim as I couldn't hold in the tears any longer.

She stopped and looked at Dad, but Dad spoke up saying, "Enough, Amber. I loved your mother and that's the end of it. We all have to do what we have to do."

Sarah broke her own temporary silence and said, "Dad, get real. I would have done anything for Mom and I miss her every day. But you know that her visions were true, better than any of the rest of us. They were never subject to interpretation by us, they just were what they were. The reality that was to come. Kim saved me, Dad. She saved Tad. She saved Amber, too. If you won't say it, I will. I know that you have some kind of feelings for Kim. I know that you still love Mom, too. But you care for Kim more than what you will say. And that's what Mom wanted. So if you won't stay here with her and plan to leave anyway, you'll be leaving without me. If you want to keep me safe, you'll have to stay here to do it. Because I'm not going with you."

"Yes, you are. This discussion is over," Dad said.

"No, it's not. Neither of us are going along with you on this. Take your machine and leave if you want to. We're not going with you," I said as I could see Sarah grinning from the side of her face.

Dad glared at both of us, and then got up and left without saying anything more.


	45. Chapter 45

February 8, 2138 (Afternoon)

My stomach has been churning since earlier this morning, and I haven't been able to eat. Which probably worked out in Kim's favor as far as catching up to me went. I didn't stay in the lounge very long after Dad left, and Kim followed my out to talk to me.

"Amber? Can we talk? Go for a walk? Something? Anything," Kim asked me from behind as I walked away from the building.

"Yeah. But we're not leaving you to do this alone. So, if that's what this is about you can forget it," I said.

"Please, just listen to me," Kim said.

"What, Kim? What? Are you agreeing with Dad now? Because a little help from somewhere would be nice right about now," I said as the feeling of being alone in all of this started hitting me again.

"Look, you're right. I feel something for him. If that's what you wanted to hear, there it is. I've said it. But that's also why I think that you should go on and leave with him. I want you girls and him to be safe," Kim replied.

"I can't leave you here to that, Kim. We can't. If you knew that one of us was going to walk off to our deaths, wouldn't you do the same? You can't expect Sarah and me to leave you to die there. You wouldn't do that if you were in the position that we are now," I told Kim.

"It's not just that, Amber. Keeping you both here is what the machines would want. They want to capture both of you. And God forbid they should get their hands on David's virus," Kim said.

"I don't know what Dad is thinking, but Sarah and I won't leave you no matter what you say to me right now. Please don't ask us to follow Dad away from you. We need you," I said to Kim hoping to stop her from trying to get us to leave still.

"You need your father, and he needs you. In spite of what he's saying and wanting to do, he's doing all of it because he loves you both. He just wants you to live and be safe, Amber. Nothing is more important than that," Kim said.

"And we want him to be happy again. And you, too. Is that wrong? You're a good person, Sergeant Anderson. You deserve to be happy, too. What are you fighting for if not that," I asked.

"What am I fighting for if all of you stay and I lose you, too," Kim replied.

"We won't leave you. All that we have is each other. If we lose that, we've lost everything already," I said back.

"I can't ask your father to stay here with you. I just can't. I know that you want me to, but it isn't right. He's responsible for you two, not me. And I'd rather go out taking down the plant with me and knowing that all of you were safe than to have him go against his plans and stay and have something happen to you," Kim said.

"You talk as though something will happen if we stay. None of us knows that, but something is more likely to happen to any of you that do stay if we leave you behind to do it all yourselves," I said.

"And that would still be better than having you and Sarah get captured by the dreads while you watch you father die trying to stop them with us. Maybe you don't understand what's going on here, but they want to take you and your sister and find out how your mother's abilities worked. They don't give a damn about anything else. They'll kill anyone that tried to stop them and only spare you two. Then, eventually, they're likely to start tearing one of you apart to get the answers while the other one gets to stay alive and watch that, too. So while you think that we're the victims in this, I'm actually being really selfish. I don't want my last memories of you to be seeing you fighting for your lives and watching David...," Kim said as she stopped talking and turned away from me to hide her face from me.

"We're never going to agree on this because you're right from where you stand, and I am from where I stand. So I'll make you a deal, if you're willing to," I said.

Wiping her face with her right hand, she looked at me and said, "What is it?"

I pulled out the coin that Mom gave to me a last year and placed it in my hand for Kim to see. I pointed at the top of it and said, "Can you read what it says there? Mom taught me to trust in what God had planned for us. She said that he has plans for all of us, not just me. Ever since Mom gave this to me I've felt as though God finds ways to talk to me and tell me what he wants. I think that he's been trying to tell me things as I sleep, and when I really can't find the right answer to things I look to this coin and flip it. If it lands face up, I do whatever it is that I can't decide on. If it lands face down, I don't. I believe with every part of me that we're supposed to stay together. I know that you think that we should leave anyway, and I'll give you the chance to get me to go with Dad if you take my deal. I'm going to flip this coin, and if it lands face down I'll do whatever you ask of me. It'll kill me inside, but I'll leave with Dad and keep him safe for you like you want me to and never say another word about staying again. I swear. I'll even drug Carrie and carry her away with us if that's what you want."

"And if it lands face up," Kim asked as she tried to smile a little.

"You won't stand in our way of keeping Dad here, and you'll go tell Dad how you feel about him," I said hoping that I wasn't going too far.

Kim looked away from me again as though she was seriously thinking about what I had just asked of her, and I started to worry that she wouldn't go along with my deal. So I spoke up again and said, "I'll find a way to make Sarah go along with us if I lose. Do you believe in God?"

"I believe in my friends and myself. I haven't seen anything else to believe in," Kim said to me.

"I believe in you, too. But Mom told me that we're guided somehow, and I think the one guiding us wants us to stay together. I know it. I have enough faith in what I believe in to do this. Can you find enough faith to resolve this with me," I asked.

"I don't know what to say to David if I lose this," Kim said.

"Well, you could start by telling him that you don't want to lose him. Or that you don't want to let him go. Or just cut to the chase and tell him that you love him, and let things go from there. I know that it's awkward, but it's not any worse than me having to leave you here and get Sarah to go along with me. Besides, if you win and you get your way and I have to leave with him, were you planning on letting him go and never telling him anything about how you feel? You would let him leave and never get to tell him, and that would be all right with you," I asked.

"He's not ready to move on, Amber. He's not ready, and you shouldn't be either," Kim replied.

"I'm not ready to see him move on. As much as I respect you and care about you, I'm not. But this isn't about me. I want to give Mom the last thing that she wanted. I love Mom, and that's all that I have left that I can give," I said.

"Karen still has your father, and he's not going to listen to me," Kim said.

"She does, but he'll hear you. He just needs time and you can give him more hope by telling him than by letting him leave with whatever hopes that he has left locked up in the microcomp," I said.

"Flip it. But if you lose, you're leaving like your father told you to and your taking Sarah with you. Oh yeah, and you're finding a way to get Tommy and Tad to leave, too," Kim said.

"I can't control what they decide to do, Kim," I said.

"And I can't control how your father feels like you think I can. So if you want to play the games of an adult, you take your losses like one, too. Besides, you have enough faith. Don't you," Kim asked.

I got her to agree and I didn't want to leave Tommy behind anyway, so I flipped the coin. As it reached its peak, a strong gust of wind blew in and hit it as it spun in the air, pushing it away from us by a foot or two. I let it fall to the ground and it bobbled a bit before settling down on one side. By the time it had stopped, it had landed face up like I wanted. Kim looked at me for a moment, but didn't look angry with me. One thing about her was that she seemed to always stick to her word once she gave it, and it wouldn't be any different this time from her reaction.

"Remind me again. Who is this that you know so well that you seem gifted enough to get your way," Kim asked me.

"God. I can pencil you in an appointment if you'd like me to," I replied with a grin.

Kim looked at me again for a second longer and walked off without replying to my cocky remarks. Apparently she didn't know that I was somewhat serious in wanting to bring her closer to what Mom had taught to us, or she just wasn't really as interested as her question to me made it sound like she was.


	46. Chapter 46

February 8, 2138 (Late afternoon)

I knew that the time for Kim to approach Dad would come soon, and I trusted her to keep her end of the deal we made with each other. However, I couldn't make myself leave it alone and I found myself constantly looking at Dad's building to see if Kim would approach it. It didn't take long for someone to do as I expected, but it wasn't Kim. It was Sarah. I figured that Kim wouldn't interrupt them if she found Sarah with him, so I started to go on with the things that needed to be done after a minute or two. But before I could get far enough away I started hearing Sarah's voice getting really loud from inside of Dad's building. It sounded like she was yelling at him with all that she was worth. Worried about what was going on, I approached Dad's building and was going to go inside to try to stop them. I changed my mind as I got close enough to hear what Sarah was saying to him.

"Mom wasn't the only one that could see things, Dad. I'm seeing things, too," Sarah said.

"What? What are you seeing," Dad said.

"Enough to know where this is going if we don't stay here and help them," Sarah answered.

"This city is going to hell, Sarah. And I can't let you and Amber burn with it," Dad said.

"What happened to you? What happened to my Dad," Sarah asked.

"I'm right here where I've always been," Dad replied in a disregarding tone that seemed to light a fire in Sarah the likes that I've never seen or heard before from her.

Sarah started yelling at Dad again, saying, "Like hell you are. How dare you sit there and act like the same man that I saw six days ago laying Mom to rest. Were you lying, Dad? With your Bible quotes? What happened to all of your talk about the single footsteps in the sand, Dad? What happened to that man that said yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me? Where is he? Where the hell did he go?"

Dad didn't answer her and I was in tears by now. I had to try hard to keep myself quiet enough to keep hearing what she was saying. As much as it hurt hearing her let it all go at Dad and hearing her having to throw Mom's funeral up at Dad, a part of me almost laughed at hearing how much she sounded like Mom kicking Dad into gear again. As much as she'll always be my little sister, she's not a little girl anymore. Without getting an answer from Dad, Sarah continued to assault him with her yelling.

"I believed in you and everything that you taught us. Did you lie to us, Dad? Was all of it just charity that you were giving to Mom, acting like you respected her beliefs and all the while you were some sniveling coward that enjoyed running from the machines for all of this time," Sarah yelled with a sarcastic bite at the end of it.

I could hear a glass shattering from inside of the room that they were in, and Dad started yelling back, "Don't you ever talk to me like that. You, with your clumsy ass that couldn't walk across a damn bridge and almost cost Amber her life. What do you know about bravery when everyone else has to be brave for you all of the damn time? What part of watching your sister bleeding out on the beach did you miss? While you stand here talking down at me, who have you saved lately? Come on, hero. Who? Nobody, because everyone has been too busy saving you. Just like I have, and you throw it in my face now like an ungrateful brat."

"I could have just jumped on the grenade and saved you the bother of having to go on saving me any longer. Would that have made you happy, Dad? Maybe you would rather have gotten a son instead of me. A perfect boy that could make it across the bridge and you wouldn't ever have to worry about. Is that what you wanted? Are you regretting not getting to have a son instead of me," Sarah asked.

I wanted to go inside so bad that I could taste it now. Hearing where their conversation was going was tearing me apart, but something told me to leave it alone and let it play out. So I did as Dad spoke again in a lower voice, saying, "No, Sarah. Baby, I love you. I'm just trying to keep you and Amber safe."

"And I'm just trying to reach the man that I called Dad seven days ago. Because I want his footsteps in the sand next to mine when I go to that power plant. And my clumsy ass is going, whether you like it or not. This rifle is my rod, and I won't fear any evil even if you will and even if it kills me. And I'm taking this rod and I'm going to beat something or someone to death with it for taking my mother away from me. Your wife, Dad. And I'll go out knowing that Mom was looking down and was proud of me, even if you're not. Because I know that Kim's going to die in this if she doesn't have help. I've seen it. Laying in the dirt with her eyes frozen open. I won't let it happen. She saved me, and now it's my turn to save her. I'll do it or die trying. So pack your bags and your work up and get the hell out of here if you want to. I'm over this," Sarah said as I could hear footsteps moving towards the door.

"Sarah," Dad called to her.

"I love you, Dad. Whoever you are now. I always will," Sarah said as the door started to open.

I had to hide around the corner to keep her from seeing me, but she walked off without looking in my direction. I could see her wiping the tears from her own face as she walked off towards the tree stand where Tad was supposed to be. I had so many emotions and thoughts running through my mind then that I didn't know what to think about first. Had she really seen what she told Dad that she had, or was she lying to Dad to convince him to help? I had to assume that it was true, but why wouldn't she have told me if it were? If she was telling him the truth, what else could she have seen. Did she know what Tommy and I were up to? Did she know about the virus Dad was working on? Knowing her like I do, it was unlikely that she would tell me what she knew if it were true. If it wasn't true and she told me that it wasn't, I probably wouldn't believe that either. So I would assume that it was to be on the safe side, and try to find out for sure later. If there was going to be a later.

I didn't get to ponder it any longer as Tommy came walking by and seemed to be looking for me. He was carrying a group of long, green things that I couldn't recognize at first and I walked out and got his attention. He stopped and waited as I walked out from behind Dad's building and we walked back to Tommy's building to talk.

"What's going on," I asked Tommy.

"I was asked to equip all of the laser rifles with blades. Which I've done for all of us except for Sarah's. I couldn't find it, so she must have it with her. I was hoping that you could tell me where she is," he replied.

"She just left Dad's room and she had it with her," I said.

"Why do I get the feeling that there's more to it than that," Tommy asked.

"They argued. About what you would expect, but there's something more important that we have to worry about," I replied.

"What now? What could possibly be worse than what's happening already," Tommy asked.

"I think Sarah has developed Mom's ability of precognition," I replied.

"That's great. What would be wrong with... Oh, I see," Tommy replied.

"Everything, Tommy. She could know anything and everything about what we're doing. All of us. If she understands what the visions mean," I said.

"Are you sure? What made you start thinking that she's seeing things like your mother did," Tommy asked.

"She just told Dad that she could. She said that she could see Kim's death if we didn't help take the plant. I have other reasons to think that it's true, too," I replied.

"Because she was mad at you? She had a reason for that already. It might just be her way of getting Dave to change his mind about leaving here with you," Tommy said.

"Maybe. I just don't know, but we have to react as though she's telling him the truth," I said.

"Well, in that case we should take our well dressed helper along with us and get this over with. Before she has time to get less distracted with anything else that she's seeing and starts seeing what's going on with us," Tommy said.

"How? We need the virus and the machine. And how will we get our helper along with us without giving it away? Carrying something that large is going to be obvious. Don't you think," I asked.

"I've already made a copy of Dave's virus, and I have another machine. I got it at the mall and have been hiding it since then," Tommy said.

"I can't believe that you've done this. Do I want to know how you made this happen," I asked.

"No, you don't want to know," Tommy replied.

"Well, how are we going to carry the mannequin with us without someone noticing," I asked.

"We'll have to split it up. I'll carry the torso and you can carry some of the unassembled limbs," Tommy replied.

"Some? Some isn't going to be enough. We'll need it all," I said.

"I know. I told Tad what the plan was. I told him that I couldn't tell him why, but I would as soon as I could. He's going along with it and keeping his mouth shut," Tommy said.

"I just don't see how we can pull this off. We have to deal with the power plant and protect Kim. How are we going to put this thing together in the middle of attacking that place and get them to digitize it," I asked.

"I'm not sure, but we really don't have a choice anymore. Dave put the other machine in his backpack to take with him. If he leaves here with it there won't be a way to stop him from using it himself someday. Unless he's seriously wanting to get a digitizer, digitize it himself and leave it for the dreads to pick up. As much as I want to think that would work, it's as unlikely to work as our plan is. I know this plan is stupid, and any other time I was hearing of it besides now I would think it was a joke. But it's now or never and it's all that I've got," Tommy replied.

"Do you think we need to tell Sarah and Tad everything? I don't see how we can keep Kim safe, make this plan work and take the power plant, too. Not without more help that knows what needs to be done," I said.

"What about Carrie? I don't know her well, but we both know that she cares about Kim. Wouldn't she do anything to keep Kim safe," Tommy asked.

"She's not going with us. She hasn't recovered enough and Kim wants to have her take care of Alan while we do what has to be done. That, and I think that Kim wants to see her get married someday. Either way, Carrie knows where the Memorial Gardens are and she can run away with Alan if things go wrong," I replied.

"I thought she was going along. What changed her mind," Tommy asked.

"Kim ordered her to do what I just told you about an hour ago. Carrie was pretty mad about it, but she said she would take care of him if things went bad," I replied.

"Are you all right with that," Tommy asked.

"Yes. I can't think of many better people that could step in and take him besides her. She's such a selfless person that I don't think she would allow anything to happen to anyone before it happened to her first. By the way. What are you carrying," I asked.

"Oh. They're machetes. And one of them is for you," Tommy said.

"Where did you get these and why do we need them," I asked.

"It was Kim's idea. They were stored away in a shed. Apparently the were for clearing some of this plant life around here or to keep the trails worthy of travel. If we run into those adrenaline junkies with their laser resistant armor, what will we have to fight them with if we don't have these," Tommy asked.

"Fine. Hand one over," I said.

"Amber?"

"What," I asked.

"I'm scared. I don't have a plan like I should have. I don't see how we can even make one with everything that has to be done," Tommy replied with a look of despair covering his face now.

"I'm scared, too. For all of us. But we have to stop running someday. Before the running stops us," I said.

"I love you," Tommy said.

"I love you, too," I said.

It seemed like there were so many other things that needed to be said, but there were so many other things that needed to be done that time wasn't there for us to go on all day.


	47. Chapter 47

February 8, 2138 (Early evening)

As time came closer to ending the day, I started dwelling on our problems more and more. All of the things that needed to be done and how we didn't know how we could make all of them happen. I still couldn't come up with any answers that were foolproof, so I decided that I needed to make sure that nothing else could go wrong to add to our problems. If one unexpected thing went wrong, all of our plans could be destroyed. The biggest one that I could see going wrong was Rachel. I had to know that she wouldn't betray us in the middle of it all. And losing one person was less important than allowing that to happen. I felt that I had said what I had to say to Tommy. He knew that I loved him, and I knew that he loved me. If something happened to me, at least he would know that he made me happy. So it was time to give Rachel her freedom to choose what she really wanted.

I waited until the others were gathering to eat in the lounge to make my move. That way there would only be me that was supposed to be making rounds down the trail and by the front gate and one person in the tree stand. They would be looking towards the city, not necessarily back at me and the gate. I had to do it on my own and couldn't involve the others because she might see it as a trap. Rachel always went back to her building with the cages without having to be escorted to do it anymore, and she was making her way to the lounge to eat with Karl as I yelled to Karl before he reached the lounge.

"Can I have a word with her for a minute," I asked.

"Can't it wait? The food's hot and it actually smells good for once," Karl replied.

"It'll just be a minute," I replied as though there was nothing more to it than that.

"All right. But the sooner I get done the sooner you eat," Karl said as he turned and allowed Rachel to walk to me at the closed gate.

In her typical fashion Rachel walked up in silence and just looked at me with a questioning look on her face. I looked back at her, but then past her to see that Karl had made it inside to eat. He paused at the door and looked back at us for a second when Tommy peaked around the upper part of the tree he was in from the tree stand and said, "If you guys don't hurry up and eat you're going to have to bring a plate of that out here to me. Come on, Dad."

"All right, son. Give me a few," Karl replied and walked inside.

Tommy turned back around and a dull explosion could be heard coming from the city before I could start talking to Rachel. It was a sharp reminder of what was going on and made me scared of what I was about to do. Nonetheless, I swallowed my fear and went on with what I had set out to do.

"What do you want," Rachel asked me.

"I need you to just listen to me. There isn't much time for this. Look, it's just you and me here. And I'm feeling really lucky today. So lucky that I thought I would spread some of the good feeling around," I said as Rachel kept looking at me in confusion. I pulled the door open enough for her to fit through it if she wanted to, and pulled out my laser pistol and handed it to her.

"What are you doing, Amber," Rachel asked as her left eye started getting brighter and she started looking all around us.

"I'm not trying to trick you or trap you in any way. I'm giving you a choice. All that I ask is that you don't hurt anyone here. I love these people. They're my family and they're all that I have. I know that you've felt what love is inside of you before. Maybe the people that you loved didn't care or didn't give it back to you, but these people do to me. And it fills every part of me. Someday I hope that you can have that, too. I want you to be able to feel things and not be ashamed of it. It's what makes us who we are, and it doesn't always have to hurt you. Dad and Karl have always been there for us. Having a sister to share all of my life with has been wonderful. Tad is like a younger brother that I've never had, and Tommy makes me happier than I've ever been. Even with all of this war and destruction all around us. Do you remember back before, when you first felt like that someone special was standing right in front of you? Mine is right there in that tree, and he loves me. Someday you will have that, too. If you let yourself and really want it. And regardless of everything, you're my friend and I care about what happens to you. But I never know what it is that you want and life isn't all about me and what I want from you. It's about what you want, too. If you want to be free, you can leave. If you want to go back where you came from, you can do that, too. You can take this gun and run and do either one, or you can turn it on me and try to take me back to the machines with you. And you can always wonder if they appreciated you for being Rachel or for getting results. Or you can stay here and work for it, and these people will learn to care about you like I do. All that I ask is that you don't betray them or hurt any of them. I'll leave with you if you want to take me, but not if you choose to hurt my family. Or you can stay and be one of us. You need to choose, and you need to do it now. Before the others see us," I said and handed the laser to Rachel.

Rachel stopped looking around and looked directly at me as her left eye dimmed back to it's usual yellow color again. She could have taken the gun and I would have let her do it without resisting, but she stood before me at the gate and began to speak.

"I don't think that your friends and family will ever look at me as more than just another tool to be used around here. Only a couple of you will even look at me directly for more than a minute. And deep down inside, you're still afraid of me. Afraid that I'll hurt that little boy that you have. Like I didn't want that myself years ago. Afraid that I'll take Tommy away from you, like I didn't want to have a guy that loved me before like you have. And the ironic thing about it all is that now that you want to know if you can trust me for good, I need to know if I can trust you," Rachel said.

"What do you mean? Of course you can trust me," I replied.

"Can I? Because I don't know if you're going to agree with me if you hear what I have to say," Rachel said.

"What is it? Hurry up," I said.

"I'll stay here and help you. I told you before that I didn't want to hurt anyone anymore. But I want something in return from you and the rest of them," Rachel said.

"I'm offering you your freedom. What else can you want," I asked.

"I want all of you to agree to not hurt Cadet Brett again," Rachel answered.

"Who are you talking about," I asked.

"The guy in the mall that you shot. None of you can hurt him again," Rachel replied.

"I never wanted to hurt him in the first place, Rachel. I swear, but he kept shooting at us. It was the only way that I could stop him from killing one of us, I said.

"I know that. I know that you did what you felt that you had to do. But when I saw him fall out into the hallway, it hurt me inside. I wanted to go to him and help him. The way that he's always tried to help and protect me. He's guided me through so many things and kept me safe. But I couldn't help him when he needed me, and it hurt. Hearing him in pain and knowing that he needs you. Is that what you feel when one of these people are hurt. Do you feel the pain, too," Rachel asked.

"Yes. I'm sorry that I hurt him, and I'm sorry that I hurt you by doing it. He just wouldn't stop," I replied.

"Promise me that none of you will hurt him again and I'll help you," Rachel said.

"I won't hurt him again if I don't have to," I said.

"That's not good enough. None of you will raise another weapon at him again or I'm through helping you," Rachel replied.

"I can't let him shoot one of us, Rachel," I said as she interrupted me.

"I'll deal with him myself. I won't let him hurt any of you. I just want your word that you'll let me deal with him myself if we ever encounter him again. Please. That's all that I want from you," Rachel said.

"All right. I won't hurt him if we see him. And I'll try to convince the others not to as well. But that's all that I can offer you. I'll try to stop them from hurting him, but I can't promise for them to not defend themselves against him if he tries to hurt them again," I said.

"He can be saved. He hides it, but I've seen how he looks at me. We always hid any feelings and tried to purge them away like we were supposed to. But I couldn't ever get mine to stay gone forever. And I could see his eyes widen a little more than normal if he saw me by myself, where he would act casual and calm around everyone else," Rachel said.

"Why didn't you tell us before about this? Why didn't you tell me at least," I said.

"Why? Because it wouldn't have mattered to any of you. But now that you need me more than before, all of a sudden it's important. So, do we have an agreement or not," Rachel said in a plain tone of voice.

"It would have mattered. To me. I could have helped you deal with it," I said.

"You could have used it against me. You could have taunted me with the idea that all of you would go out of your way to hurt him. You could have used the idea of saving him from the machines to enlist my aid in helping you long before now. How would that have ever gotten any of you to trust me? If you felt like I was being forced to do everything that I was doing because of what might happen if I didn't," Rachel asked.

"Well, I must trust you now. Otherwise, why would I be handing a gun to you and opening the gate for you to leave if you wanted to? And offering myself up to you," I asked.

"To save them from me. To keep Tommy safe," Rachel answered.

"I could do that by killing you right now. For someone that shuns emotional attachments, you sure act like you understand them really well. I could have gotten rid of you a long time ago. I could have allowed you to be gotten rid of. Tommy could have stepped aside when Tad was holding a gun on you and let him put an end to you, and they would all be safe from you ever betraying them. If you understand feelings and emotions so well and you understand my motives so well, why are you still standing here? Why are we having this conversation when I could keep my family safe from you by eliminating you like a machine would," I asked.

"Maybe you should," Rachel replied.

"Maybe I will, if you do anything to hurt my family. Then again, maybe you can go in there and get us a couple of plates of whatever that is that Carrie made for us and we can eat it together out here. Like a couple of friends should. Sharing dinner and caring about the problems that the other one has to talk about," I said.

Rachel looked at me for a moment longer, but her stare was interrupted by Tommy peaking around from the tree again and saying, "Hey. Are you two all right over there?"

Rachel spoke up before I could, saying, "Yeah. We're fine. Do you want some of that dinner that's cooking up in there?"

"If you're offering, sure. Please and thank you," Tommy replied to Rachel's offer.


	48. Chapter 48

February 8, 2138 (Evening)

It was odd and funny at the same time, trying to find other things to talk about over the meal than how good it tasted. I wanted to find things that would allow Rachel to talk, not things that would separate us again. Another explosion could be heard from the direction of the city and it seemed to distract us both for a second or two. But we tried to block out the noises and keep talking. I focused more on letting her talk because I wanted to know more about her. Most of what she had to say involved Cadet Bricker, or Brett as she called him. I kept calling him Brett myself, too. Not just because she had made that name familiar to me now, but to see if she would keep calling him by his first name rather than reverting back to referring to him as the Dread Youth would have. Adding the rank before his name still. She didn't revert like I thought she might, and it made Rachel seem more human than she ever had before. It made it seem like she really cared for him, and it made him seem more human, too. Even though I didn't know him at all.

After a while of eating, something unexpected occurred. Dad came out from Sarah's building carrying her long laser rifle. The blade had been attached to the barrel of it by now, and I realized that Tommy hadn't put it on because he had been in the tree stand and hadn't gotten to it yet. Rachel looked on with me and asked me, "Do you think this means what I think it does?"

I waited to answer because I wasn't sure. He looked so intimidating with the way he was walking, and with his longer hair and unshaven, uncivilized look. He looked like some kind of angry animal walking to the lounge and I didn't want to see him and Sarah fight again. I stood up from the ground where Rachel and I were sitting and wanted to intercept him before he reached the door, but I realized that it was my duty to stay at the gate. As the feeling of wanting to go to him was almost overwhelming, Rachel grabbed my hand and spoke.

"Go to him if you need to. I won't run," Rachel said.

I hesitated for another few seconds and Rachel yelled out," Tommy, you're needed at the gate."

Tommy looked around from the tree stand to see what she was talking about as Dad climbed the steps to the lounge without slowing down. Before any of us could react further we could see Dad stop in the doorway and say to the people inside, "We have a job to do. You have thirty minutes to get your gear on. Finish up and move it."

Sarah must have gotten up from the table because Dad tossed her rifle inside and turned back down the steps. As he reached the bottom of the steps Sarah was coming out of the door already. Dad looked to us and said, "Get ready. I'll watch the gate. And Rachel? You don't have to be a part of this if you don't want to. I won't think anything less of you if you don't. It's up to you, but thanks for what you've done for us. If I don't see you again, I hope that you have a good life. Just remember something for me. Your body and brain is a machine, too. It's made of flesh, not metal. But it can think for itself. Keep using it, because that's what it was given to you for."

Rachel heard him out and remained silent while he spoke to her. Sarah had started for her building by now when Dad turned to her and said, "Your things are already ready to go. Take Tommy's place and let him get his things after you grab them. And don't forget the machete."

"I won't. I love you, Dad," Sarah said as she ran off to get her things and a gust of wind blew in and threw Sarah's hair back as she ran.

After a short time we were all geared up and ready to go. It felt kind of empowering to be wearing a sheath with such a large blade in it, although it was a bit strange at the same time. Maybe the empowered feeling I was getting was from seeing that Dad was going to help us now. I didn't dwell on it long as I wanted to get with Kim and Carrie before we left. I needed to tell Kim about what Rachel had told me, and try to get her to protect the boy if we ran into him in the future. Then there were those things that I needed to tell Carrie about Alan. If something went wrong, I needed to know that they would both be all right with each other.

Kim agreed to what I had said to Rachel, and then handed me a machete for her. But not without a condition.

"If she turns on any of us, she'll try to keep you and your sister alive to turn you in. If you give this to her, you're agreeing to kill her if she turns against us. No matter what happens, to me or anyone else. You make sure that she doesn't live to hurt anyone else," Kim said as she stared me in the eyes.

"I hope that it doesn't ever come to that," I said.

"Me, too. But this is the time that will make or break all of us," Kim said.

Her words reminded me of what Sarah had told Dad about Kim, and I felt like I should tell her. But I couldn't be sure if telling her would make things happen any differently. For the better or the worse. Without knowing, I had to say something.

"Kim? I'm scared that things are going to go wrong," I said.

"They can, but they won't if we don't let them," Kim said.

"Why do people have to have so much time to get things done in life," I asked without thinking about what I was saying and just putting what I was thinking into words.

"What? Because we're all too slow at everything, I guess. Why would you ask that," Kim asked.

I didn't have a real answer to give to her and could tell that she was thinking that I was being weird. So I started saying the things that I would have wanted her to know if she weren't here tomorrow.

"I would have accepted you. And him. You know? Sarah would have, too," I said.

Kim stopped packing her equipment and looked at me directly. She said, "I've heard this kind of talk before. From Karen. Why are you talking like her? Like you have to push time ahead of itself," Kim asked.

"Because there isn't enough of it anymore," I answered.

"There isn't enough of it for who," Kim asked.

"I want you to know how important you are to us. To me," I said not knowing whether to say anything more about it or not.

Kim looked at me for a second longer without speaking. Then she reached into her pocket and handed me one of her rank pins that she had offered to us before if we could earn them.

"Look, it's not a pretty ring like that one that Tommy gave to you. But it's what I have and it means a lot to me. I want you to have it," Kim said as I started crying. Hugging me, Kim went on saying, "God, girl. Did you cry this much when Tommy gave you that ring?"

I wasn't able to stop for the longest time, and watching her pack the rest of her gear and walk out of the room was like seeing Mom do it all over again.

February 9, 2138 (Morning)

It was one of the longest nights of my life. It hurt. It still hurts. It won't ever stop hurting. I don't know what to believe in anymore. Was that why Kim said that she only believed in her friends and herself? Because the loss was too much for her to take anymore? That nobody was watching over when she needed them to be?

The trip started almost like any other. This time Rachel was with us, but she opted to wear her Dread Youth uniform. Sarah and Tad said nothing about it, but it was obvious that they didn't like it. But knowing that we would be encountering the enemy no matter what once we reached the power plant, it seemed like it could be useful and for the best. Rachel did say to me that she was sorry if her wearing it hurt me in any way. She was capable of thinking about someone else besides herself once in a while. And the farther we moved on down the path away from the zoo, the more it ended up showing.

I walked to the rear so that I could keep an eye on Kim. I didn't want her to know that I was watching her, and Sarah seemed to be doing the same. Although in front of me, she kept focused on everything that Kim was doing. Up until there was a noise from just off of the trail that came from the trees. Something rustled the leaves and sticks around and Sarah froze. When she stopped moving, everyone else did along with her. After a moment of looking around, Sarah raised the long rifle she had from the mall and aimed it in the direction that she thought the noise was coming from. I could see the fear in her eyes again, just like the last time. Looking for a ghost again that wouldn't seem to ever leave her. Her hands started shaking as she kept fanning the rifle around in the direction of the noises. As she continued to do this, Rachel stepped back towards Sarah and stopped next to her and her left eye lit up again. After a moment of this her eye dimmed back to the yellow color that it normally was. Rachel looked over at Sarah, still waving the rifle around, and she reached out and put her hand on Sarah's shoulder.

"It's a raccoon. He's not there, Sarah," Rachel said as she kept looking at Sarah for a reaction.

Sarah looked at Rachel for a second, and I thought that she would pull away in anger at Rachel's touch. But she didn't. She just stared back at Rachel and I watched the look of fear fade away as though she understood what Rachel was trying to do for her. Even Tad allowed it to go on without interfering with their moment.

"Are you ready to move on? It's just fear, and fear is just another emotion that can be tamed," Rachel asked.

"Yeah. I'm all right. Let's just go," Sarah replied as I felt the irony of Sarah being helped by the teachings of the machines. Still, Rachel cared enough to help. Even if it had to be in her way.

As we approached the bridge we knew it was time to split one of us off. This time Rachel stepped up. She felt that the risk to her would be a lot less than to any of us. If she were to be caught crossing the bridge by the enemy, they would look at her as one of them. Rather than to move on to the fields on her own, she would simply cross the bridge with the machete in her hand as though she had escaped and was armed. It seemed convincing enough and would protect her from them not believing her. After all, why would we arm her? Unlike us, Rachel crossed the bridge with a walk of confidence and without trying to hide herself completely. Nothing occurred as she crossed and she stopped about fifty yards from the far end of it to wait for us. We waited for a minute, just in case she was being observed and not approached by our enemies. Or anyone else for that matter, but it remained quiet except for the wind blowing even harder than before. After the minute had passed we crossed the bridge without incident and joined back up with Rachel. Seeing the plant from the bridge, all lit up and exhibiting it's power, was a sight that I won't forget. It was so intimidating that I just wanted us all to be able to turn back.

Sheathing her machete, Rachel went on with us as we turned towards the power plant. Eventually we reached a field. At some point in the past it must have been for corn, but it was overgrown with a little bit of everything that a person could possibly imagine now. As we neared the field I could smell the plants in the air. I remember wishing that there was time to enjoy the smell, but Dad and Kim started moving towards the edge of the field and it woke me from my thoughts. As Kim started moving one of the overgrown plants away from in front of her to walk in, I had failed to notice that Rachel's eye was glowing again and she spoke once more.

"Stop. Everyone. And get down," Rachel said as she knelt down herself, too. Kim glanced back and did what Rachel said for us to do.

"What is it? What are you seeing," Dad asked Rachel.

"Something is in the field. There are heat signatures that I can see," Rachel replied.

"Where are they? And what are they," Kim asked.

"I need a moment," Rachel replied and kept looking into the field.

After about five seconds Rachel spoke again saying, "Humans. Armored humans. Four of them. Grouped close to each other about fifty meters from here."

Tommy broke his silence saying, "How can we get past them."

"I don't know, son. Let me think," Dad replied.

"They're humans. Maybe they're resistance," Sarah said with a hopeful look on her face.

Rachel was continuing to look through the field when she spoke again saying, "No. They have a cart cannon with them. That's not a resistance weapon, it's a biodread weapon. And their armor isn't normal."

"What do you mean, Rachel," Kim asked.

"I think that it's ablative, but I don't know for sure. I can see tubes on each of them. They're probably enhanced," Rachel replied.

"The adrenal forces you referred to before," Dad asked.

"I don't know what else they could be," Rachel replied.

Running into a group of them was not expected at all. We thought that they were limited in numbers, and that they were being used inside of the city. Not out in some field in the middle of nowhere. I never knew if the thought came to the others like it had me, but why they were there was just as much on my mind as how we might get around them. As everyone else kept thinking on it, nothing reasonable came to mind. None of us wanted to accept what it would take to get through them. We knew that we couldn't use our laser weapons and just eliminate them from where we were. They probably wouldn't affect them anyway, where their lasers could affect us. We couldn't go around them and have to deal with them on the way back, and they were too close to the zoo to just leave them there. They were going to have to be removed. The only way to do that was to get in close to them and be able to outfight them. We weren't going to shoot our way out of this one.

"I'll go to them," Rachel said.

"No, Rachel. You can't," Kim said.

"Why not? I'm one of them. Remember," Rachel replied.

"Even if you go and they're convinced by you, how can you make them leave," Kim asked.

"I'm not sure, but maybe I can get a few of them to take me to the power plant. That would mean that there would be less of them in your way," Rachel replied.

As their conversation continued without a resolution, Tommy looked over at me with a strange look on his face. Not completely understanding what he meant by it, he pointed to his backpack and I suddenly knew what he was trying to say to me. We might be able to get through the field and get close enough to deal with the armored humans if we gave up our own plans and used the mannequin as a distraction. I knew that we would never get another one and we would lose our chance to do what we had planned, but we couldn't risk anyone to act as a decoy when we had something else that would work. I nodded to him in agreement and really wanted to cry at our loss, but it had to be done.

"Dave. I have a way to get us closer to them," Tommy said.

"What are you talking about," Dad asked.

As if on cue, Tommy and I both started removing the mannequin parts and the remote from our packs. Once we started, Tad followed suite and Tommy started assembling it. All of the rest of them looked on in amazement at what we were doing. All of them speechless as we assembled the mannequin as quickly as we could, we finished it quickly and turned it in a diagonal direction to walk it across the field. Tommy activated it with the remote and Kim shook her head as she put her jacket on the machine. At any other time than then the whole thing would have been comical. It was hard to believe that this was a life and death situation we were using it for.

Dad wanted Sarah to use the remote to guide the machine along while he, Kim, Karl, and Rachel moved in and dealt with the humans in our way. Sarah didn't like this idea, but had to agree anyway. I didn't like it either because I was afraid for Kim and what would happen to her. She told Dad that she saw Kim laying in the dirt. Why would the plant have dirt that it was setting on? Unlike this field, I felt that it wouldn't have and I had to know.

"Kim, wait," I said.

"What? We have to get this done," Kim replied.

"I need you to tell me if the power plant is sitting on the ground with pavement, or is it surrounded by soil," I said.

"First it's your sister, then it's this doll you guys are carrying around, and then this? What the hell is wrong with you kids," Kim replied in disbelief of what was happening with all of us and she started moving off.

"Kim, please. I need to know. It's important," I said as seriously as I could as I grabbed her arm to keep her there with me.

"Pavement. Now let me go," Kim said and turned back to crawl forward.

Whatever was going to happen, it was going to be here. I knew it, but I didn't know how to stop it. And they wanted me to stay behind. Sarah looked on with a worried look as she made the mannequin move forward through the field. At the same time the group moved forward as fast as they could as they were staying low. I waited for them to move in for a short time because I didn't want them to hear me, and then I started into the field behind them as Tommy grabbed my arm and said, "Where are you going? We're supposed to stay here."

"I can't. I need you to trust me on this. I have to go with them," I said as Tommy looked at me in confusion.

Sarah looked at me like I was crazy, and I looked at her and said, "I'll take care of her. Tell him."

Her look changed almost immediately and she knew what I was saying.

"Let her go, Tommy. She knows what she's doing," Sarah said.

He did as Sarah asked and I tried to move fast to catch up with them. I could hear the mannequin shuffling through the plants as it moved through the field. All of us kept moving and I picked up my pace enough to get behind Rachel when I could hear one of the armored humans start to speak.

"You. Stop moving. What's your designation," a male voice yelled.

We stopped in case they had seen one of us, and the voice spoke up again saying, "Designation. Now."

We could still hear the mannequin walking through the plants and the plants in front of us started shuffling around as some of the troopers moved off towards the walking machine. I couldn't see through at first because of the others being in front of me, but the yelling stopped within seconds and the shooting started. Whichever troopers moved off towards the mannequin had started firing on it by now. As the shooting began, so did our attack. Surprisingly, Rachel jumped at the chance first as she moved past Kim and got behind a male trooper looking in the direction of where the others were firing from. She wrapped her arms around his head and I could hear a cracking sound. He went limp and she lowered down with him and started dragging him back away from the shooters.

The shooting continued as Dad moved forward and did the same to another male trooper that was closest to us. As he dragged that one back, Kim moved forward. A female trooper was next, but the shooting had stopped and I couldn't hear the mannequin moving any longer. I could hear her tell the other trooper to check out what they were firing at, and he could be heard moving forward through the overgrown plants as Kim had almost reached her. Before Kim could get to her, a stick crunched beneath her foot and the female trooper heard it. She turned and could see Kim, and she started shooting at her. Kim jumped out of the way, and Karl started firing back at her to keep us safe. One laser hit her in the abdomen, but the energy dispersed across the armor like little bolts of electricity. She turned her laser at Karl and fired. Karl fell back towards me and I could tell that he had been hit. I could hear Kim scream Karl's name and she ran past me to get to him. Not noticing me, the female trooper aimed at Kim again and was about to fire when I ran in at her and jumped on her.

By now the other trooper could be heard calling back to the female to find out what was going on, but I covered up her face with my hand to try to keep her from responding to him. She gripped my arm like a vice and started forcing my hand off of her face with a strength that I couldn't resist for long. I could hear the other trooper moving in closer, but Kim started shooting in his direction to try to scare him away from us. She fired twice and he stopped moving in, but the female had forced my hand off and yelled to him to kill us. Before she could speak again I punched her in the face, but she acted like she wasn't very affected by this and threw me off to the side. She got to her feet and looked in my direction. I tried to crawl backwards and get away from her, but she moved with me enough to grab my leg and pull me back towards her. As she did this she aimed her laser at me as though she would fire, but before she could shoot me she suddenly stopped moving and made a grunting sound. Her eyes opened wide and her mouth opened a little as she fell forward on top of me.

At first I couldn't see or tell what had happened, but I moved my head a little to look around the woman laying on top of me and I could see Rachel standing there with a bloody knife in her hand, looking down on me. Before I could speak, the other trooper suddenly appeared behind Rachel and hit her with his laser rifle. Rachel fell to the side and wasn't moving any longer, and the trooper turned his attention in Kim's direction. Kim fired on him once more and the energy arced across his chest plate like before with the female. Before she could shoot again he raised the rifle at Kim and started taking aim. I tried as hard as I could to throw the female trooper off of me so that I could stop him from hurting Kim, but I wasn't fast enough. As I was screaming Kim's name in hopes that a miracle would happen and she would be spared, I could hear a shuffling in the overgrowth and I heard the wind being cut in two by something being swung in the air. Dad was there, and the trooper's head fell off of his shoulders and hit the ground with a sickening thud.

It was at that moment that I understood that icy look that came over Kim when the worst needed to be done. Dad was wearing it now, too. As I looked into his empty, cold stare I knew that it came from all of the lost loved ones, and remembering them all as another loss was close to happening again.


	49. Chapter 49

February 9, 2138 (Morning, continued)

Rain was falling by the time our skirmish in the field had ended. As though the rain was meant to clean all of our sins away somehow. The leaves of the overgrown plants were hitting each other as the rain kept falling on them and the wind blew through.

Kim was raising Karl up off of the ground and I could see that he had taken the hit in the shoulder. It was still smoking from the burn it had left, and he was bleeding a lot. Tommy, Tad, and Sarah all ran up from farther back in the field to try to help us, but help wasn't needed any longer. Not in dealing with the enemies, anyway. Except for one.

Dad was trying to bring Rachel back around and I knew that she was in good hands, but she needed to wake up and become aware of what was going on again. None of us knew how much damage had been done to her except that she wasn't awake. Sarah tried to help Dad with her as the boys naturally went to their father. I started to stand back up when Kim suddenly pulled out her machete and pulled me back towards her.

"What are you doing," I asked Kim.

"Stay away from her. She's still moving," Kim replied as she moved in and raised the blade.

Before she could bring it down on the armored woman, Karl must have heard and seen what was going on and spoke up.

"No, Kim. Don't," Karl said.

Looking at Karl like he'd just lost his mind completely, Kim said, "What do you mean? She was just trying to kill all of us. Remember?"

By now Rachel was coming around, and I looked down at the armored female trooper. She was laying on her back with her right hand on her abdomen as though it were hurting her a lot. I could tell that she was having trouble getting air into her lungs as she was gasping for it. A minute before, she was the biggest threat in the field, and now she was struggling just to stay alive. I don't know what it was that caused Karl to not let it go, but he kept arguing to keep Kim from finishing the female off.

"She needs help," Karl said.

"You need help, Karl. You're hurt and it isn't good," Kim said.

Ignoring what Kim said to him, Karl got up and pushed the boys out of his way as he tried to make his way to the armored woman. The boys spoke up trying to get his attention, but he ignored them, too. He stumbled towards Kim and she put her arm out to stop him from moving in any closer. At this point Rachel had recovered her senses enough to know what was going on, and she turned to the trooper and knelt down next to her as the trooper continued to gasp and shake from her wound. I wasn't sure why she knelt down at first, until she managed to pull off the female trooper's armor from her torso. After removing it and tossing the piece aside, Rachel picked up the trooper's laser pistol and stood back up. She looked down at her and aimed the laser at the trooper as she kept struggling to live.

"No," Karl yelled at Rachel.

"It needs to be done," Rachel said in a calm tone of voice.

"I said no," Karl said in a voice of angry authority.

Kim spoke up saying, "Karl, we can't help her. We need to be helping you. We need to get you back to the zoo."

"I'll go back on my own when I'm done," Karl said as he pushed Rachel's laser away from the female trooper and knelt down next to her.

"She's the enemy, Karl. If she had the chance right now she would be killing or digitizing you, your boys, and all of the rest of us as well. If she gets the chance she still will. I know that you're trying to be compassionate, but it won't matter to her," Rachel said.

"Didn't it matter to you? That we were compassionate enough not to kill you. That we fed you and kept you alive and safe? When you thought that we were nothing more than dirty animals, you were taken care of by us. Now you would stand in the way of me helping another one of you? Why would you do that," Karl asked.

"You don't get to where she is within the ranks of the biodread forces by being what all of you people would call redeemable. You won't change her or turn her back to your way of thinking. I'm offering her the most merciful way of ending this. Fast and relatively painless. While you would have her suffer while you try to offer her aid and she'll probably die anyway," Rachel said.

Tired of the conversation, Karl spoke once more in a way that all of us could understand.

"This isn't a damn negotiation. I'm a healer, not a warrior. I heal people. She's helpless and she needs someone. Even if it's just someone to be here so that she doesn't have to die alone in a field. If you were in her place, not one of you could say that you would want anything less," Karl said in no uncertain words.

"She wouldn't do the same thing for you," Rachel said as she aimed the laser at the trooper again.

"And you wouldn't have either. Before now. How is she any different from you," Karl asked.

"I haven't done the things that are required to wear that uniform. She has, and it's all the difference I need to know," Rachel replied.

Karl turned the female trooper to the side and started trying to treat her as he said, "Let me bottom line this for you. If you kill her I'm not the only one that's going back to the zoo. The boys are going back with me and we're done with this."

"Dad? We can't do that. They're just trying to protect us," Tommy said.

"Speak for yourself, Dad. I couldn't care less what happens to this chick, and I'm not letting them do it all alone," Tad said.

Dad decided to step in at this point saying, "Let him stay if he wants to. He's not in any shape to be continuing with us anyway."

"Stand down, Rachel. And start removing the armor off of these troopers," Kim ordered.

"If she lives and any of you enable her in any way, she will kill you without thinking twice about any of you. Is that what you want? To empower her to the point of killing you," Rachel asked.

"Do what I told you," Kim ordered with an angry look growing in her face.

"Are you sure about this, Karl? You need to get back and get helped yourself," Dad asked.

"I'm sure. Get what you need and go on. I'm not changing my mind," Karl replied.

"Why, Dad? Why are you doing this for her? She tried to kill you," Tad said.

"I thought you were going with them. Why are you still standing there talking to me like you care what my opinion is," Karl snapped back.

"She's not Mom. Helping her isn't going to change that, Dad," Tad replied as though he knew why Karl wanted to stay with her.

"Go on, son. If I need a psychiatrist, I'll know who to call," Karl said.

"Fine. Stay here and imagine that you're saving Mom once more for all that I care. But if you think that I'm going to allow our home to become some refuge for wayward gear heads, you can think again," Tad said as he started to walk off towards one of the troopers to take their armor. As he started to take a step, Tommy grabbed his arm and started in.

"I've had it with you. That's Dad that you're talking to. Not one of the enemy. Save your crap for them," Tommy said.

Jerking his arm loose, Tad's enraged look started showing as he said, "Don't push me. I won't sleep with the enemy anymore. I've had it with both of you. Just because you might have converted Rachel doesn't make any of these traitors to humanity any less guilty of killing Grandpa, Mom, and Karen. And all that I care about is making all of them pay. If you're not on board with that, stay the hell out of my way."

Tad walked off after that and said no more.


	50. Chapter 50

February 9, 2138 (Morning continued)

With Karl hurt and not willing to go on with us as he stayed to help the enemy trooper, we had to use the armored suits carefully. Figuring that the squad came from the power plant we also figured that they would at least know the genders of those that were in the squad. Getting the suits was enough luck to ask for, but the wounded female trooper was also blond headed. Like Kim. This fitted us well also as the enemy trooper seemed to be the leader of the squad. Her armored suit was marked on the arm with a biodread insignia on the left arm with two thin, red stripes rounding the arm. One underneath of the insignia and one above it. The other troopers only had the insignia and no stripes at all. So Kim took her armor and put it on while Dad, Tommy, and Tad wore the other three suits. Rachel insisted on not wearing one because we could approach the power plant as though we had found and rescued her and were simply bringing her back to the fold. We needed someone to be a distraction from the rest of the group in the armor, anyway. We had no idea how well known this group that we had defeated was within the power plant itself and we figured that the officer of the group would at least be known well and noticeable. If Rachel could do more of the talking instead of Kim or any of the guys we might get farther before the shooting might have to start.

As the others suited up I tried to get Karl to let me wrap him up as best as I could. Seeing his wound scared me and it made me afraid to leave him alone. Yet he acted like it didn't matter as he kept trying to do what he could for the trooper. After all was done, we went on towards the plant. Kim had found what looked to be a remote for some kind of a gate attached to the female troopers armored suit. We assumed that it was to the front gate at the power plant and that's the one that the group of us would approach. Sarah and I were given the task of waiting behind with the two long laser rifles. Neither of us were happy about this at all, but it had to be that way. There weren't any other suits to be had except for Tommy's makeshift biodread suits that he had cobbled together for us and we couldn't walk up as prisoners.

As we kept moving towards our objective, I started talking to Tad about what had happened with him and his father a few minutes before.

"Why are you so hard on your Dad," I asked.

"Because he's wasting his time and putting others at risk for nothing," Tad replied.

"Like you, you mean," I asked.

"What? What are you talking about," Tad replied.

"The first trip to the hospital. When Carrie fell behind us in the yard and you stopped, standing there like some statue and shooting back at the biodreads unloading off of the ship," I replied.

"I was trying to help Carrie," Tad said.

"And I think a part of you was trying to save Gina again. Deny it all that you want to, but I know you. And while you're mad at your father for trying to help someone, you did the same thing," I said.

"Carrie isn't the enemy, Amber," Tad replied.

"Whatever, Tad. Whatever," I said back in frustration.

"Keep it quiet. This is a debate that you can have later," Dad said.

I wasn't so sure of that. If there would be a later for any of us.

Rachel stayed to the front of our group now. Her left eye was glowing as we walked more out in the open than we ever did before. We had to look convincing if anyone were to be watching us, and it was much safer with Rachel looking for any enemies for us. Once we entered the last wooded area it was almost a necessity. She could obviously see through plant life and could see heat signatures in the darkness of the night. It was weird feeling so safe with Rachel now, instead of never knowing what was coming from her next. It was like the world lifted off of our shoulders without having to watch every move she made anymore. Relaxing enough that Tad took Sarah's hand as they walked through the trees rather than constantly eying what Rachel was doing. Seeing them do this made me take Tommy's hand as we walked, too. Kim looked back at us once, and I could see a very slight grin come across her face as she turned back to leading the group with Rachel and Dad.

With Rachel's watchful eye it didn't take long for us to get to the edge of the woods. As the edge came within our view, Kim stopped us all and started talking to us about the plan.

"All right, people. Whatever you have to say to each other, say it now. Then clear yourselves of any sign of emotion. I want to see the plainest faces I've ever seen since meeting Rachel. You have to walk into this without showing any fear or any emotions whatsoever. If you can't, you need to stay behind. One forgotten smile or look of being afraid will get us all killed. Don't forget it," Kim said.

It seemed so strange, having to show Tad and Tommy how Sarah and I felt about them right in front of Dad. If we were this age years ago and were doing this, we would have felt like we were disrespecting him. The boys would have at least. But Kim made it easier by talking to Dad while we had our moments. Up until mine and Tommy's moment took a little longer than I had expected for a reason that I never saw coming.

Sarah and Tad had already told each other that they loved one another, and were on to the hugging and kissing stage. Tommy stood in front of me, saying nothing at all. He just looked at me and it made me feel funny. I wasn't sure if something was wrong or not, so I reached out my hand to him and said, "I love you."

A tear fell down his face, and he reached up with his free hand to wipe it off quickly. Then he got down on his right knee and said, "Amber, marry me. Someday, after all of this is over. Please? I love you and being with you makes me as happy as I can ever be."

Suddenly everyone was looking at both of us. Including Dad and Kim. Kim looked a little worried about what Dad's reaction would be, and I couldn't help but look to him to see what he might be thinking. Dad stared back at me for a few seconds without saying anything. Then I could see him smiling as he turned back around to leave the decision to me.

"I know that I could have picked a better time than this, but I can't go into another one of these missions without knowing. I'll never know anyone or love anyone like I do you. Why do you think I annoyed you so much when we were younger. I wanted your attention. I've had this inside of me for years and it never goes away. And it never will," Tommy said as Sarah was trying to hold in her own reactions to what he was doing.

"If you say no, I'm still going to walk up there loving you anyway. I don't want to look back at everything that's gone wrong anymore. I want to look forward to what we can make right. I just want to make it right with you, together. Hand in hand, side by side with you. You make me whole. Please say yes," Tommy said as I pulled him back up from his knee.

"If you promise to marry me in the Rose Garden next to the Carillon tower, yes," I said back to him as his face exploded with a smile.

"This isn't the time or place for this. We need to be purging our minds of any emotional attachments and get to moving on with this," Rachel said.

It made me wonder if what Tommy had asked me was upsetting Rachel. I was so caught up in the moment that I didn't think about what effect it might be having on her. Even if she didn't show them often, I knew that Rachel had feelings and her life had been such a mess that maybe she was jealous or feeling left out.

"And I want Rachel to be a part of it all, too," I said to Tommy.

"Sure. Anything you want," Tommy said as he looked at Rachel for some kind of approval.

"Whatever. Let's get going," Rachel said sharply.

"One minute and we go," Kim said and then pointed at Sarah and me.

"You two take the long rifles and focus on the two clankers manning the interlocker turrets. Keep listening in on the communicator so you'll know what's going on. Watch the catwalk for the two troopers on it, too. Focus on the troopers, not on any more armored humans that might be working with them. Those rifles have more kick, but it's likely that you'll be wasting you shots on them where you won't be on the biodread troopers. And Tommy, lose the relic. You can't walk in there with that," Kim said.

Tommy took the strap of the shotgun off of his shoulder and handed the gun to me as Kim looked at me and said, "Consider it a wedding gift come early."

"I'll walk in the middle of all of you, and Kim should be leading us all in. You should form a diamond shaped formation around me. Tad should stay to the rear since he's slightly smaller. David and Tommy, one to each side and Kim in front of me. That way you can maximize your firepower if it comes to that, and the guards at the gate will be expecting that from you anyway. I'll step forward once we reach the gate and try to occupy them and get us in. After that we either have to take the control room or take out the grid," Rachel said.

"Fine. Form up and let's go," Dad said as he sat the weapons we had brought with us down in favor of the armored troopers guns.

They surrounded Rachel like she told them all to and they started off towards the front gate once they cleared the edge of the woods, while Sarah and I propped ourselves against a couple of trees and started taking aim at anything we could see. Sarah was already scoping out targets while listening to her communicator. Rachel and Kim had turned their communicators on so that we could receive them without either of them having to handle them. This way we could constantly hear them both and Rachel and Kim wouldn't have to risk getting caught messing around with their communicators to talk to us. All that we could hear was their footsteps as they walked up to meet the guards at the gate. Two biodread troopers were guarding it and a small tower was just inside with another trooper standing in it with a cart cannon. As I kept looking through the scope I could see the two troopers Kim referred to walking along the catwalk. The catwalk seemed to be there for the purpose of crossing over part of the lake underneath to get to what Rachel referred to as the power grid. The longer I looked through the scope the more the wind kept catching the end of the rifle and making me struggle more to keep it steady. Not enough to interfere with our rifles and our view of things through them like that, nature seemed to want to spill more rain on us as we tried to see what was going on. The scope was covered enough to not allow the rainwater to get on the lens, but it started running off of the cover in front of our view anyway. Shaking it off would mean that it would take more time to focus again. So both of us avoided that altogether and tried to find ways to see around the water running off of our weapons.

As we looked on the guards seemed to be alerted to the group walking up towards the gate and I could see the trooper in the small tower aiming the cart cannon in their direction. The other two troopers turned towards the group as they stood behind the gate. Energy of some kind pulsed across the entrance and they were standing directly behind the energy. Their armored shells seemed to be busy reflecting the light from the energy beams as they waited for the group to get closer. Once they managed to get half of the way up the walkway to the gate, Sarah started talking to me.

"I'm happy for you, Sis," Sarah said.

"I can't even say how much he means to me, Sarah. He's everything," I replied.

"I know the feeling. He really loves you. You know? And Mom would be so happy and proud of you right now," Sarah said.

"I think she'd be proud of all of us," I said as I looked over at Sarah for a second.

"I'm really happy for you. Well, as long as I get to be your matron of honor or something," Sarah said.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," I replied.

Before we could go on any longer, the trooper in the tower started calling out to the group as one of the interlocker turrets on the top corner of one of the large buildings closest to the gate started turning towards them, too. Sarah raised her rifle up and aimed it at the trooper manning it while I focused on the trooper in the tower and what it was saying.

"Halt. What is your designation," the tower trooper asked.

Rachel spoke up saying, "Youth Leader Carter."

The trooper in the tower turned slightly and seemed to be typing some kind of information into something, but it's hands were hidden behind the wall of the tower. Nothing was said for a few seconds as I could see Tad looking down at his laser rifle and Tommy looking off to the side, until one of the troopers behind the energy gate spoke up saying, "Squad leader. What is your designation?"

My heart skipped a beat hearing it ask Kim for information and I almost opened fire on it right then, but I didn't know if my shots would go through the closed energy gate in front of it. Kim stood there not answering at first. As she stood in silence it raised its laser rifle and aimed it out towards them.

"Is Overunit Vargus here? I need to speak to him immediately," Rachel said.

Suddenly the trooper in the tower waved off the troopers behind the energy gate and said, "Authorized clearance for Youth Leader Carter and Omega Squad."

The trooper behind the gate lowered its rifle and walked to the side as the other one did the same to the opposite side of the gate. Kim raised the remote that she had taken from the squad leader earlier and pushed a button. All that I could think of was hoping that her remote was for the purpose we thought it was as the energy gate faded away and they started stepping forward. As they approached the open gate I could hear a noise coming from the sky above. A rumbling kept getting louder and I pulled away from the rifle scope to see what it was. A Phantom Striker was slowly descending onto one of the roofs of a larger building to the back of the facility. I looked through the scope again and looked to the roof it was landing on. Once it stopped for a few seconds I could see a woman wearing black armor and a long, red cape climb out of the ship. She was slender, but there was a tube coming from her armor like the armored troopers we encountered in the field. There was a large, solid red ring with a biodread insignia imprinted inside of it that wrapped around the armor on her left arm, which appeared to be more than just armor. Lights could be seen flashing off and on from the forearm and upper arm until it reached the red ring. The other arm was the same except for the lack of an insignia and the lights stopped at the elbow. My looking at her ended quickly as she disappeared from view, seeming to have descended into a stairway leading down inside of the building.

"They're through the gate," Sarah said, breaking my concentration on the rooftop the enhanced woman just landed on.

I didn't respond and tried to listen to the noises coming from the communicators. Footsteps could be heard for a short time as Kim and the group kept walking forward towards a large building with Rachel in the center, but someone came walking out from the door of the building, as if to greet them. It was the blond headed Overunit from the hospital and he was being escorted by two more enhanced and armored humans. Kim stopped walking forward as Rachel stepped in front of her, which must have been to hide Kim from the Overunit's immediate view because he could have seen her at the hospital the last time we were there and recognized her.

"Youth Leader? Is it really you? Where have you been," the Overunit asked.

"Yes, it's me. I was taken to the old park next to the lake and held there all of this time by the resistance group that took me from the mall."

"And they rescued you? They were supposed to be doing reconnaissance in a field and trying to entrap the group we were looking for," the Overunit continued.

"Has the subject been taken," Rachel asked referring to Mom to change the subject away from the Overunit's unending questions.

"She was killed while we tried to capture her," the Overunit answered.

Cadet Reed and Cadet Bricker. Where are they," Rachel asked.

Cadet Bricker is here. Cadet Reed was killed in action," the Overunit responded.

"Killed? Who killed her," Rachel asked as Sarah stopped and looked at me. All of us knew the answer to that already, and so did Rachel. We wondered where she was going with this conversation.

"The enemy," the Overunit answered.

Neither Sarah or I could make out the expressions on our group's faces because they were facing away from us from where we were. However, it became obvious that Tad wasn't hiding his emotions like he was supposed to be at listening to the conversation that Rachel was having with the Overunit and hearing him lie to Rachel about what happened to her friend Tara after Tara shot Mom. The Overunit must have seen Tad showing some sign of emotion and stopped talking to Rachel as he walked over in front of Tad.

"You. Why are you looking at me like that," the Overunit asked.

"I'm in pain. I was injured before and the injury is hurting my head now. I meant no disrespect, Overunit," Tad said trying to convince him that he wasn't showing emotions.

"Have we met before? You look familiar," the Overunit asked.

"No, Overunit. We have not," Tad replied.

"I think that we have. I know you from somewhere," the Overunit said in a convinced tone of voice.

Before Tad could respond, Kim spoke up saying, "Make your way to the infirmary, trooper. Now."

"I'm not finished with him, Ops Leader," the Overunit said as Tad started to walk away.

"She outranks you, Overunit Vargus," Rachel interrupted in her attempt to let Kim know that she could get Tad away from the Overunit if she wanted to.

"I'm aware of that, Youth Leader. And I'm sure that she is, too," the Overunit responded sharply.

"You're not showing an emotional response to the Youth Leader, are you Overunit," Kim asked as she looked over at him.

"Not at all. The Overseer has arrived here to give us direction on the next push against the resistance. She's probably wanting a report from you on any progress you might have had. I'm sure that she'll want to know how you managed to bring Youth Leader Carter back, and she'll want a report from you about where you've been and what happened to you during all of this time," the Overunit said as he looked at Rachel.

"Very well. I'll take the trooper to the infirmary and then report back to her. By the way, it's good to be back, Overunit Vargus," Rachel said.

Without getting any response from the Overunit, Rachel walked off towards the rear of the facility with Tad. Before they cleared our view I could see Tad glance up at the catwalk crossing over the lake to where the grid was. The rain was heavy by then, and the wind was whipping through the trees around us.

The Overunit turned away and walked back inside of the large building he had came from, and the two armored humans went back in with him. I could see Kim looking around to see where to go next and she said, "Stay frosty out there. We can't go before this Overseer that he referred to or we'll be toast. We have to find the control room and take it out now. There are too many machines here to try to take this place over. We'll have to take it out instead. And does anyone know why that Overunit thinks that he knows Tad? What the hell's that about?"

Sarah shrugged at me like she had no idea, and I responded to Kim that we didn't know.

Tommy spoke up saying, "I don't know anything about the guy. I don't know what he was up to by saying that to Tad. Maybe he was just trying to get a reaction out of him."

"There has to be more to it than that. Let's hurry up and get this done before anything else goes wrong," Kim said.

"Yes Sir," Dad said as he seemed to be playing to Kim's new biodread rank.

"The large building over there. Let's look there first," Kim said.

"But that Phantom Striker landed on the roof. Do you think that's wise," Tommy asked.

"Your Overseer went in that building a few minutes ago from the rooftop," Sarah said over the communicator.

"We'll just have to avoid her," Kim said as they ran off towards the entrance of the building.

Once Dad, Tommy, and Kim had disappeared within the building things remained quiet for a minute. Sarah and I got a short moment to wipe the rain off of our faces and go back to our observation. The energy gate was on again. If the group did any damage, they would have to bring the gate down again to get out. I looked for a way to try to bring it down myself with the rifle, but I couldn't see any way of making it open again.

After the minute of quiet time had passed, the Overunit, the dark haired guy that Rachel called Brett, and the two armored humans came from the front building again at a fast pace. Something was wrong as they started running to the back of the facility in the direction that Tad and Rachel had went in. Sarah quickly grabbed the communicator and said, "Rachel, get Tad and get out of there now. They're headed your way."

"We're not in the infirmary. We're circling back around the sheds. What's wrong," Rachel asked.

"The Overunit and his group are running in your direction like something is wrong. Maybe they know that you're not legitimate," Sarah said as her voice sounded more concerned.

"That's not possible. I convinced him. Unless...," Rachel said.

"What, Rachel," Sarah said frantically.

"Tad? Are they after you? Does he know you somehow," Rachel asked.

Before Tad could answer the shooting started. Sarah was yelling to Rachel to get her to speak again, but she didn't and we could see things lighting up around the rows of sheds by the water.

"What the hell is going on out there, Rachel," Kim asked on the communicator.

"The Overunit is pursuing us. He must have figured out that something was wrong," Rachel replied as we could hear the lasers being fired and hitting things around them.

"Get in front of her, Tad. And cover her with your armor. We're on the way," Kim said.

By now the troopers at the gate were looking back towards the sheds and I knew that Sarah and I had to act or Rachel and Tad weren't getting out.

"Open the gate, Kim," Sarah shouted on the communicator. A second or two later the gate energy disappeared again and the troopers behind it were exposed. Sarah fired on the one in the tower and sparks flew as it fell backwards over the tower wall and hit the ground with a loud thud. I shot the trooper at the right of the gate in the back as they looked back towards the sheds. The left one turned back in our direction and aimed it's rifle in our direction, but only in time to be shot by Sarah like the one in the tower had been.

At this point the two troopers on the catwalk had started firing down at Tad and Rachel. I knew that Tad couldn't cover Rachel from everyone, but I didn't know if they were even targeting Rachel either. They might just be firing at Tad and, if so, hopefully the armor he was wearing was working. Either way, six against two wasn't going to work for long. Sarah must have figured that out herself as she started firing at the troopers on the catwalk. Her first shot flew by the trooper in front and disappeared into the night sky. The trooper turned towards us and fired. The trooper's shot hit the ground about two meters from where Sarah was standing behind a tree. I fired on it and it sparked and fell off of the catwalk. After several seconds of watching it falling, it hit the lake water with a large splash. I could see the current washing over it until it sank under the water. Sarah picked off the second one right after as it fell onto the catwalk floor.

During this time the shooting around the sheds continued, but something was happening within the building where Kim and the others were. Nothing could be seen, but Kim was being confronted by someone.

"Who are you? You're not the Ops Leader that I sent out," a female voice said.

"The Catholic church sent us. The sisters said to welcome you to the neighborhood," Kim said in a sarcastic tone.

I could hear the sound of metal scraping against metal and Kim yelled, "Tommy, no."

I couldn't sit there any longer after hearing Kim yell out at Tommy, and I picked up the shotgun and started for the open gate.

"Amber! Amber, wait," Sarah yelled in vain.

All that I could think of was reaching Tommy. I didn't stop to think about the interlocker turrets on the rooftops. I got half of the way to the front gate and the closest one started firing on me. The ground exploded and shook behind me and I couldn't stop from falling to the wet ground. I got up as fast as I could and could see another light coming at me from the same place. This one hit to my left and blew me off of my feet. I landed hard on the wet grass and wasn't sure where I had landed. As I got back up I could see that I had been thrown back off of the walkway, and the turret had stopped firing. I could hear Sarah yell, "Amber, run!"

I got up again and ran for the gate, but by the time I had reached it an explosion went off within the area where the sheds were. I had to choose who I was going to try to help, Kim's group or Tad and Rachel. Tad and Rachel seemed to need more help than Kim's group did, so I ran to the sheds. Chambering a shell, I reached the wall of one of the outer sheds and I could still hear the lasers firing back and forth from within the group of little buildings. I looked across the yard of the power plant to the larger building Kim's group went into earlier and could see Kim helping Tommy out of the front door. His chest plate was completely gone, several other parts of his armor were damaged or showing cut marks on them, and he looked dazed. Kim saw me, but her and Tommy ran off towards the entry to the catwalk. They ran out of my view just in time for me to see Dad and the caped woman from the Phantom Striker come crashing out the front door in a heap. They both rolled down the steps of the building and landed on the ground hard.

Both of them got up quickly and the woman started swinging a blade at Dad that extended out of her forearm. Dad jumped clear of it and shot the woman with his laser pistol, but the energy arced across her armor like the armored humans from the field. He holstered it quickly after seeing how ineffective it was. Another blade sprung out from the other forearm of the Overseer and Dad raised his arms up just in time to catch the woman's arms as she charged at him with both blades extended now. She tried to drive them both at Dad as he held her arms in place. They seemed to be testing strength with each other and I assumed that Dad would win against her, but they seemed evenly matched somehow. At first I didn't know why, but I soon figured it out after Dad pulled her towards him and rolled backwards. She flipped over and landed on the ground hard. As she raised up from the ground, her cape blew to the side for a moment and I could see a small box at her waste with a tube running from it into the side of her abdomen. Figuring it was the source of some of her enhancement, I decided to test my theory and I fired the shotgun at her and her box. Unlike the effect that the lasers were having, the slug blew the box off of her armor and she fell forward to her knees. I could see a liquid falling from the loose tube now, but the cape covered any other damage I had done.

I chambered another shell as Dad spun around and kicked the woman in the head and she fell to the ground again. Dad pulled his machete out and raised it up as the woman turned over and looked up at him. As he brought it down to finish her, she crossed the two blades that extended out of her forearms and caught Dad's blade between the two. By now I knew that I wasn't skilled enough to jump in with Dad and help him against her, so I aimed the shotgun at her again thinking that I'd end it if she didn't have a head left to think with. Before I could fire and finish her for Dad, an armored trooper stumbled out from the side of one of the sheds next to me. Before he could react to anything, I used the shotgun on him instead. I didn't know who all was left within the sheds, so I decided to leave Dad to deal with the woman since he was doing so well against her now and go after Tad and Rachel.

As I started to move into the sheds I could see another interlocker turret firing towards the woods where Sarah was. I hoped that she could deal with it with her rifle. Apparently that wasn't possible before it fired again, but not at Sarah. It had fired at Kim and Tommy, and I could hear Tommy yell to Kim after the explosion from it's shot hit the ground somewhere nearby. I looked up again and saw a beam of light hit the trooper in the turret and it finally stopped firing, but what damage had it done beforehand?

I didn't have time to go back and see what had happened from the shots that the turret had dished out, so I moved on further into the sheds. After passing a few of the sheds up, I could hear voices. It was Brett and Rachel talking.

"What are you doing? Stand down," Brett said.

"No. I can't," Rachel replied.

"Why are you doing this, Rachel? What have they done to you," Brett asked.

"They showed me that we were wrong, Brett. Do you see this blood? Do you want to know who caused it? A machine did. We were supposed to stop the pain, not keep causing it," Rachel said.

"You're hurt. Let me help you. Put the gun down and I can help you," Brett replied.

"Like Tara got helped? By Vargus? At the hospital," Rachel asked.

"What are you talking about? Tara's missing," Brett said.

"Tara's dead, Brett. And Vargus killed her after she shot the mother of the Wharton girls," Rachel replied.

"What? No, he said...," Brett said.

"He lied. Can't you see it? He lied to both of us. About everything," Rachel said.

"Why? Why would he kill Tara," Brett said.

Another voice spoke up and said, "Because she became obsolete. She failed in her duty to stop the resistance fighters from escaping the mall, and then she shot the Wharton woman and caused her death when we needed her alive. She wasn't useful any longer and needed to be discarded."

"You. You killed her," Brett yelled in anger.

"Get control of yourself, Bricker. And you put that laser down, Youth Leader. Before you become obsolete yourself," the Overunit replied.

I decided to step out and even the odds and I could see that Tad was hurt. His armored suit was smoking and Rachel was trying to protect him from Brett, and now the Overunit as well. I stepped out and said, "The only thing obsolete around here is you."

The Overunit looked at me for a second and said, "The loss of your mother was unfortunate. We didn't want her to die. We just wanted her help, and that's all that we want from you or your sister. If you would just surrender yourself to us, the rest of this wouldn't matter. Your friend could leave in peace and nothing would happen to him."

"My friends you mean," I said.

"Stay here and all of your friends can leave without coming to any more harm," Overunit Vargus said.

"No, Amber. Don't listen to him. They'll try to kill all of us anyway," Rachel said.

At that, Brett turned his laser on Overunit Vargus.

"What are you doing, Bricker? You're committing treason," the Overunit said.

"You already did that when you killed Tara," Brett said.

"Come with us, Brett. Please, just leave with us," Rachel begged as he stood there aiming his laser at Vargus.

"Go, Rachel. Go, before I change my mind," Brett said.

"You can come with us, Brett. She cares about you. Don't stay here," I pleaded.

"I said go," Brett said as the other armored trooper from before came out from the shed behind Brett.

"No," Rachel yelled, but it was too late.

The trooper fired and Brett fell to the ground as Vargus ran off between the sheds. Before he could fire again I fired the shotgun at him, and he fell back against a shed wall and hit the ground. I wanted to chase Vargus down and make him pay, but Tad ran off after him before I could and Rachel needed help. I went to her as she pulled Brett up off of the ground. Rachel wasn't hiding any of her emotions now as her tears streamed down her face.

"Brett, hold on. Please don't leave me," Rachel begged as he looked up at her.

Before she could go on trying to help him, the caped Overseer stumbled out from between the sheds and I had to grab Rachel and pull her back away from Brett and the Overseer standing close to him now. One of her blades had been broken off of one forearm, and she glanced at us. Then she looked down at Brett. Before we could do anything, her armor opened up on her forearm with the broken blade and what looked like a scanner emerged from her forearm. We watched on in disbelief as the Overseer activated the extended device and a beam of energy was emitted from it, digitizing Brett before we could stop her. The Overseer seemed to be adjusting to having just digitized Brett as she looked up in the air as though she was stunned briefly by taking him in. Before she could recover I pulled Rachel with me and we both ran from her.

As we exited the area of the sheds, Rachel dropped a smoke grenade behind us. The smoke started billowing out from between the sheds and Rachel turned back around to look at it. I didn't understand what she was doing at first, until her eye started glowing again. Within a second or two I could see these little yellow lights appearing within the smoke that were the size of her eye. Glowing like her eye was, they hovered there within the smoke, at a distance away from where we were standing. Suddenly, laser fire started flying through where the glowing images of Rachel's eye were hovering. The Overseer must have been thinking that she was shooting at a few dozen versions of Rachel by now, and we turned away and ran for the gate.

As we started getting close we could see Dad helping Kim get to the gate. She was holding the remote for the wrist grenade that we had put on Rachel before. Tad could be seen also, but he was laying on the ground. It seemed like something was wrong with his leg, and Rachel and I ran to him. But Tommy had reached him first and we were close enough to hear what the boys were saying.

"Tad? Are you all right," Tommy asked.

"Stop him. You have to get him," Tad said as though he was exhausted.

"What are you talking about," Tommy asked Tad.

"The Overunit...he's the one," Tad replied.

"What one," Tommy asked.

"He killed Mom, Tommy. Don't let him get away," Tad replied.

I'd never seen the enraged look that Tad carried with him worn by Tommy, until last night. It was like there was nothing left in the world besides his anger, and he ran off after Vargus, up the stairs and across the catwalk. Tad couldn't get up off of the ground and Rachel stayed to help him as I followed after Tommy. He was running so fast that I couldn't catch up with him. As Vargus ran he hit some water standing on the metal catwalk and fell down. Before he could get up and pick up his speed again, Tommy had caught up with him and leaped on him. Both of them fell to the catwalk floor and Tommy was holding Vargus down with his left hand as he rained punches down on him with the other. Vargus tried to kick Tommy off of him, but he couldn't get him off. I started getting close to the two, but I slipped in the water on the catwalk and fell, too. By the time I had gotten to my knees, Tommy wasn't on top of Vargus any longer and was holding his side. I could see that Tommy was bleeding from some kind of wound that he was holding and I yelled out to him, but he wouldn't stop.

A laser shot flew by me and it caused me to have to turn towards the plant grounds in time to see two more biodreads firing from the entryway of another building. I wrapped the shotgun over my shoulder and started using my laser pistol to fire back, but Kim and Dad started firing at them on their own, causing them to duck back inside of the building. I turned back to Tommy and he was choking the Overunit and trying to push him over the rail. As the Overunit was being pushed backwards, he let go of Tommy's left hand that was firmly around his neck and hit Tommy in the side that he had just torn open. Tommy released him completely after taking that, and Vargus swung at Tommy. Hitting Tommy with a hard right, he toppled over the rail behind him. Tommy's body flipped over the rail, but he managed to catch onto the floor of the catwalk with his left hand. I screamed out Tommy's name again as he was left hanging onto the catwalk floor for his life and the Overunit stalked towards his hand left gripping the floor. As he raised his foot to try to stomp loose Tommy's grip, I aimed the laser pistol at him and fired. Vargus stopped moving for a second after the laser hit him, and then fell to the catwalk floor. As he rolled in pain on the catwalk floor, he rolled himself too close to the edge of the floor and rolled underneath the rail on the opposite side of where Tommy was hanging from. I could hear him yelling out as he fell to the currents below.

I ran to Tommy and tried to get a grip on his hand, but I couldn't without breaking his grip on the catwalk floor.

"Give me your other hand, Tommy," I said as he reached into his pocket for something with it instead of giving his hand to me. After grabbing what he was after, he reached up with his free hand and the wrist grenade slid across the catwalk floor and hit my boot. Ignoring it, I grabbed Tommy's hand and tried to pull him up. His hand slid back out of mine as I pulled because of the blood he had on it. I could hear someone running up the catwalk to help, but I couldn't look away to see who it was. I reached down and grabbed Tommy's sleeve with both of my hands, but Tommy seemed to be losing his battle with his wound and he looked up at me as he was gasping for air.

"No, Tommy. Hold on. I love you, just hold on," I begged in hopes that he was still hearing me.

The footsteps were almost upon me, but Tommy slipped off of the catwalk and his sleeve tore out of my grip as he fell to the lake below. I remember trying to get over the rail and dive in after him once he hit the water, but someone was stopping me. Whoever had ran up the catwalk grabbed me and was holding me so that I couldn't get over it.

"No, Amber. Stop," Kim was saying from behind me.

I kept telling her to let me go and I tried to fight out of her grip, but she kept holding me there. I could see Rachel closing in on us, and she had stopped to look over the rail. Her eye was glowing as she searched the waters looking for him.

"I can't see him. The water is covering up his heat signature," Rachel said as she kept looking over the rail to the water below.

I screamed at Kim to let me go, but she wouldn't and kept her arms wrapped around me so I couldn't climb over the rail. I thought that I could save Tommy if someone would just listen to me, but they wouldn't let me go after him. I finally ran out of energy to keep fighting against Kim's grip and I remember falling backwards to the floor of the catwalk. It was more like Kim lowering me down and I couldn't speak any longer. Kim sat there, holding me from behind as all that I could do was cry for him. The shooting was still going on down below on the grounds. I didn't care. Nothing seemed to matter anymore.

"Kim, we have to blow the grid and get out of here. What are you doing," I could hear Dad say on Kim's communicator in desperation.

Kim couldn't say the words, either. Rather than answer Dad she picked up the wrist grenade and said in a breaking voice, "Rachel. Throw this into the grid."

"But Tommy...," Rachel replied.

"Now, Rachel. I need it done now," Kim replied through her own crying as she kept holding me.

We stayed there for what seemed like forever, and I could hear a large explosion coming from the top of the large building where the Phantom Striker was. I could feel Kim moving behind me as though she must have been trying to see what it was. The catwalk even shook when it went off and it must have concerned her. After the explosion on the rooftop, Rachel could be heard running back to us from the far end of the catwalk. I glanced up at her and could see that she was still looking out in the waters with her eye still bright and glowing, doing everything that she could to try to find him for me. I guess I had a moment of clarity then. I couldn't even gather enough will to get up to leave before, and leave Tommy behind. But Kim and Rachel were trying so hard to help that I couldn't let them die there with me. Is that what came over Tad before? I felt like I understood him better now than I ever had before.

And Karl. How would we be able to go back to him now? While he stayed there in the field, showing compassion to one of the enemy. Trying to save her life while the cause that she was fighting us over had just taken his son away from all of us.


	51. Chapter 51

February 9, 2138 (Morning continued)

The explosion that came from the power grid was frightening. The sky lit up and everything shook, but the results were what we had gone there for. A few seconds after the explosion the city fell into darkness. Kim quickly went into trying to get me to leave the catwalk because of the battle still happening around us. If Dad and the others weren't still firing on the biodreads we wouldn't have been safe at all. All that I wanted for them to do was to leave me there. I was really trying to hear and understand their words. What they were saying to get me to start walking back down, but nothing could get me to want to leave until Kim said, "The faster we get out of here the faster we can start looking for Tommy."

I heard that like she had yelled it in my ear. But did she really mean it, or was she just trying to save me? I had to believe that she wouldn't give me false hope, or at least that she would try to find him. Even if she thought that it was only for me. What she said to me made me feel as though I was risking any hope that he might have to survive if I just sat there letting it happen. So I made myself go on like her and Rachel wanted me to.

More biodread troopers and a few technicians were moving out of the buildings. Troopers would fire towards the gate where Tad and Dad were. They would fire back, attempting to keep them away from the gate and the entry to the catwalk. As the three of us ran back down the catwalk, I kept looking to the water hoping that I would see Tommy, and to Dad and Tad and noticed that they were the only ones still shooting back at the enemies leaving the buildings. Nothing was coming from the woods any longer, and nobody was making any effort to fire towards the woods either. I must have muttered Sarah's name and was heard because Rachel started calling to Sarah on the communicator, but she wasn't getting any response. The guys at the gate were too busy to turn back to the woods and go to her, and we wouldn't make it out of the gate ourselves if it weren't for them covering us. So all of us picked up our pace even more.

Hearing Rachel calling for Sarah and knowing that she wasn't receiving an answer by now, Dad was trying to shoot and talk in the communicator at the same time.

"Sarah? Answer me, damn it. Where are you," Dad said on his communicator with no answer returning.

We cleared the catwalk steps and started towards the gate as Rachel and Kim started firing on the troopers, too. A part of me didn't want to make it to the gate because I knew what was waiting for us. Tad. And telling him what had happened wasn't going to go well. And yet we couldn't waste time because of Tommy and whatever was going on with Sarah.

As we ran up to them, Tad kept firing until he noticed that Tommy wasn't with us. When he stopped and looked at me I didn't have the words to tell him with. He finally asked where Tommy was as he kept looking at me, and I closed my eyes to try to hide it from him. I told myself years ago that I wouldn't let him get hurt like he had by losing his mother again, and now I was going to have to hurt him all over again. Without even having to come right out and tell him, he knew. For as long as I live, I'll never forget the empty look of sadness that took him over. And all of it was more than he could accept.

He tried to break through Rachel and me in an attempt to get to the catwalk. None of us were able to tell him that Tommy had fallen off of it, so he must have thought that Tommy was still on it. I was already reaching out to him to comfort him in any way that I could, so I was able to get a hold of him right away and Rachel grabbed him, too. But he wouldn't stop fighting to get free of us, and keeping him held in our grip was difficult with the armor he was wearing. He broke free of us and started running towards the stairs of the catwalk when Dad bolted by and ran after him. Even Dad was unaware of what had happened to Tommy, but he knew better than to allow Tad to run back into the plant instead of out of it. After getting about ten strides into it, Dad tackled Tad and they rolled across the pavement. I could hear Dad telling Tad that we couldn't help Tommy like this, but he wouldn't stop. As Dad seemed to be winning the battle in keeping Tad from getting any closer to the catwalk, getting on top of Tad and holding him down, Tad did what none of us were expecting. I could see him reaching for something with his right hand instead of continuing to try to push Dad off. It was the adrenaline tube that was hanging from the box on the armor he was wearing, and he grabbed it and pushed it into his armored suit.

Using the enhancement that the armor offered was never part of the plan because none of us knew the effects it would have on us in the end, but Tad didn't care anymore. Much like I didn't a few minutes before, and it became obvious very fast that Tad wasn't going to be stopped physically. As big as Dad was, Tad was starting to overpower him as the adrenaline started pumping it's way into his system. Laser fire kept hitting Tad and Dad as the struggled with each other. Each hit breaking into little streams of electricity darting across their armor still. But the hits that Tad was taking seemed to be pushing him back now, and his armor kept smoking as though it were overheated. Each time he would get hit again, we started hearing it impact on his armor. This didn't happen before when they first started taking hits. His armor was giving out and Rachel was very aware of it.

"Keep covering them, Amber. We have to get him back and get out of here before his armor fails," Rachel said.

Kim was now running out to try to bring Tad under control as Rachel and I were the only two firing back at the machines. Kim being the only one of us left with the ablative armor out of us three meant that Rachel and I were stuck where we were and couldn't expose ourselves like the others. I tried as hard as I could to push the grief out of my mind and concentrate on thinking of what to do to get Tad to stop and come with us. As I pondered this, Tad had thrown Dad off of him and back in our direction about ten feet. As Tad turned back towards the stairs to the catwalk, Kim had reached him and she jumped on him, too. By now I would have thought that he would have at least felt how much Dad and Kim cared about him to be fighting him like this, but nothing would get through to him.

"Talk to him, Amber. Get him to stop," Rachel said.

Still lost in thought and concentrating on Tommy as I kept firing my laser at anything that looked like it was moving, Rachel finally yelled at me, "We're going to lose him, too. Is that what you want?"

Her outburst made me more aware of the chaos going on and that it was possible that we could lose a lot more than what we already had, so I tried to talk Tad back to us like I had at the hospital.

"We can't help Tommy by losing you here, Tad. If he has any chance left at all, you're killing it by doing this," I pleaded as he kept fighting with Kim.

I could see that Kim had gotten a grip on him and was using her hooked hand technique to keep a hold of him. Both of them had gotten to their feet again as another laser hit Tad's armor and knocked him back into Kim a bit. Still acting unaffected by it, I could see Tad trying to break her grip. Unlike before when she challenged both of the boys, Kim was struggling to keep her hands together against Tad alone. As they stood there fighting against each other, a biodread started running towards them and Rachel quickly put it down with a shot from her laser. Tiring of the whole situation, Rachel finally grabbed the communicator from my hand and yelled, "Sarah's missing too, Tad. We can't find her if we have to keep fighting with you. Do you want her to die out here, too? Because that's what will happen if we don't leave now. So, come on. We can't do this without you."

I hoped that Rachel was wrong, but the truth of it was that she could be right. Sarah hadn't appeared and no shooting was coming from the woods still. And as much as I feared for Sarah, Tad must have, too. Dad had gotten back up and reached Tad again, but he had suddenly stopped fighting Kim after hearing Rachel's words and she and Dad pulled him back to the gate.


End file.
